Op And Wife A 2 Blem, Expecialy The Wife She Is A Bad Neibor, New Couples Are Adviced To Stay Off Old Crook Women Likn Op Wife!

5minsmadness:



Also@snakie86 I'm not saying I doubt your story, but u can't sue for divorce before 6months of marriage. It's the Nigerian law. Unless there's something else we don't know?

Is it possible the marriage has not been consummated?

I'm happily married for a year now, an extreme introvert. had a distant courtship for a year before I got married so the young man hasn't done anything wrong and we won't blame him for his temperament.

Truth be told, you can never know a person well enough no matter the length of courtship, you'll only end up with what you fear most if you go that way.

This young man could be a victim of circumstance of sole dependence on courtship to unravel the mystery of marriage. I know the only person who will not lie about a product is the manufacturer. so that's the secret I've always applied in whatever I do and my marriage was not exceptional, it perfectly worked for me.

God is the manufacturer, if the guy need solution, let him seek God. No one else can really fix it for him.

snakie86:
We went into their flat and the only thing remaining was the chair, bed and the husband’s cloth, every other thing is gone including to something as small as eating spoon in the house. My wife dialed the lady’s number and it was switched off. I noticed i went to their flat in the morning to discuss an issue concerning the compound with the wife, i met a saucy friend of her in their flat that was just talking anyhow and putting her mouth into our discussion, i saw some packed load on the floor but my mind didn’t even go to anything like that.
I remembered i once called the attention to the fact that i have seen the wife like three times taking things out of the house as if someone was traveling, going out with two traveling bag and so. My wife said maybe probably she borrowed it and decided to return it to the owner but i told her then that i suspected maybe she was packing out of the house. The husband said he also noticed that her belongings were reducing in the house everyday and it got to a stage he started questioning her about where her things were but its either she says her sisters came to borrow her bags or she took her cloths for dry cleaning and they still argued about the rate at which her belongings had reduced in the house before going out in the morning and she swore in the name of God that her things were still intact.

I couldn’t face it when a grown up guy busted into tears in my flat saying he didn’t offend her and they didn’t have any misunderstanding prior before now. Like every marriage, they do have argument but they try as much as possible to settle it like couples do. He started asking what exactly did he do wrong.

The questions have been asking was why go into a marriage which you don’t want? That Monday was exactly two months they got married. I don’t know if there was emotional torture but am very sure there was never a physical abuse between them. Is divorce the next option if you don’t like your husband behavior? I asked the husband how long they dated before the marriage and he said over one and half years. If they were match make, he said NO, he saw her, asked her out and she accepted to date him. The question is WHAT WENT WRONG?

I keep asking myself if things would not have turned this way if we had intervened and shared experience with them as a young couple because apparently i believe they didn’t even witnessed 1% of what me and my wife went through in our first year.
Have called the wife like three times since this incident happened, her friend has been the one picking telling me it was a wrong number, the number her husband gave me herself. The wife’s parent said they don’t know anything about it and her whereabouts but i doubt if the lady’s mum didn’t know about all this.

The wife still respect me a lot and am thinking what i can do to even help, if i can talk her out of her thinking...Please what can i do to remedy this situation. Have sent a text message already to her phone telling her i was the one calling because i know she doesn’t have my number but their hasn’t been any response, i doubt if the friend handling the phone will even show her the text message.

This is one of the reasons why intending couples are always advised to attend marriage classes before getting married. The woman has not really opened up to you people. From your story, the problem is coming from two angels.
First is that her friend who I believe is not married. It is very bad to keep moving with former single friends after one's marriage especially the party types. I equally believe the lady in question feeds her with wrong information.
Secondly, she is being sex-starved and she is not bold enough to tell the husband.
With your position as a couple, you can settle the problem after which you mentor them together with your wife to maturity. Good luck.

stevecantrell:
A woman who would leave her marriage barely 2 months later shouldnt be pandered to. Let the man wait 4 more months and then serve her divorce papers. Belive me he is better off...

you spoke my mind bro...

the worst mistake that man is gonna make in his life would be to accept her back.

ikp120:


Seriously?
Hahahahahahahahaha!
On your marks...get set... GOOOO!

Pick race now oh... Or maybe just try and dialogue with her.
Good luck!

you can only dialogue with creatures of logic... MEN!

dialogue never works with women. that's why all this advice of "talk to her" never works.

one can talk to them from now till Armageddon and it would still be to no effect.

they are unlike men... not driven by Logic but by their Emotions.

What's with women & house chores?

after providing the home & furnishing it, maintaining it also, fixing whatever gets broken either by myself or a repairer & providing food then one God created woman will come whine in my ears that I don't join her to cook or i didn't pass the spoon/maggi to her or i didn't wash my plates or clear the table?

what has westernization done to us?

The op is not too involved in the marriage , the op has a good heart Which is number one, and he feels partially responsible for not taking steps to talk to the man when he noticed cracks on he wall. Old couples that are good are often suppose to help noture young marriages especially when they are very very young couples.
The problem with this marriage is very very simple and the problem is idleness, lack of communication and understanding.
The wife I presume is still in her twenties and hate loneliness and wish the husband would be her pillar and her best friend.
The husband is a workaholic who feels all I need dobisbmake money and make my home okay. No communication. No time out , no wife's time or couples time. No attention towards the wife and I don't blame both couples. The intruder friend that ought to mend the bridge is the devil here.
The simple truth is she is not married, and she has one mission make her married friend forget about her marriage. Whether or not she wants to take over is a different thing entirely. All the older couple needs to do, is help find the run away wife , counsel both of them seperately and have the new couple talk in private. Maybe have them go on a short trip within town or out of town for days or weeks. Just the two of them. No phones , no calls,no friends.
They will have all the time to either fix their marriage or break it down them selves. Then prayer against the devil of a friend. That's all I can say, i rise.

That process is called bonding. It helps the marriage to work better . I.e the oil that lubricates the marriage.

Our ancestors did it in the form of helping the wives out in their farms with his friends, helping fetch fire wood for the wife to cook, bringing meat , some special tubers and vegetables home for the wife to cook, etc.
This is a new age, woman and men no longer farm to earn a living and nature abhors vacuum. So it will take another form . E.g the man making some special dinner for the wife, suprise trips, gifts, helping out in the kitchen occassionally especially if she is not too fit, but always know where to draw the line before you before akpan. .
Mind you, when you help a woman or surprise her occasionally. Maybe just an outing or cinema. She will always wanna reciprocate and in the process you get to know yournselves better giving the different background and socialization.

harveyspec:
What's with women & house chores?

after providing the home & furnishing it, maintaining it also, fixing whatever gets broken either by myself or a repairer & providing food then one God created woman will come whine in my ears that I don't join her to cook or i didn't pass the spoon/maggi to her or i didn't wash my plates or clear the table?

what has westernization done to us?

ghostmist:
you can only dialogue with creatures of logic... MEN!

dialogue never works with women. that's why all this advice of "talk to her" never works.

one can talk to them from now till Armageddon and it would still be to no effect.

they are unlike men... not driven by Logic but by their Emotions.

That's very true. Most of them are not even open. That's why I said GOOD LUCK.

Stewwwpppppiiiiiidddddd Gurl!!!!!!! They've gotten her another man....simple

CoCoLav:


Is it possible the marriage has not been consummated?

At two months it's actually a possibility. But even then, the woman must be able to prove that her husband hasn't touched her in ONE year to be able to file for divorce.

I salute the courage this lady had to walk away from a marriage that was not working!

Nigerians, get it into your heads...marriage is not a do-or-die affair!!!

snakie86:


Dont want to make this a tribal issue. They are both from the same state and the same town

Good morning boss! please if its OK by you I will appreciate few minutes of your time for a chat offline.

snakie, discuss with the husband what was her pass lifestyle? secondly the type of friends she has. Maybe she is been influence by her friend(s). Peoples pass lifestyle greatly influence there marriage life couple with the type of friends she mingle with. some friends may not be happy with her marriage, some think that they way dey roll before will be greatly affected by her being married so will meddle in their marriage. Also as he is the introvert type, maybe she likes to go out do things with him but fail to understand so that weakness is the loophole her friends find it advantageous for them or her. Or maybe she likes to be a dominant controlling type that wants to bend her husband to her will and her friend supports her, but find it difficult to achieve. once the problem is known and pointed out, it will be difficult to solve. Maybe he should talk to the wife's mother, she can dig into her daughter's heart and get why.

Kobicove:
I salute the courage this lady had to walk away from a marriage that was not working!

Nigerians, get it into your heads...marriage is not a do-or-die affair!!!

two months is too short for that kind of decision and maybe she did not involved his or her parents.

KINGinVAHALA:

Good morning boss! please if its OK by you I will appreciate few minutes of your time for a chat offline.

No problem sir

but to think of the time frame at which marriage fail, snakie, this one try. here in Jos we heard of an incident which the marriage survive for only one week. ONE WEEK the marriage crash like plane crash in midair


Why some marriage crash after takeoff fews munites from the wedding terminal is because of LIES. The have been feeding themselves lies and hiding their true form. so when the marriage is in air, they unleashed their True HYDRA form and what happens, fear and panicking happens which spirals out of control. No more attention from the pilot and co-pilot and the marriage crashes air-to ground or burst into flame or a midair head on collision. Big bang!

ghostmist:
you spoke my mind bro...

the worst mistake that man is gonna make in his life would be to accept her back.

Some bishes just aint loyal..

The OP seems to be a busybody tatafo. It pays to mind your own business and stop snooping into other people's affairs.

mrwonlasewonie:
but the father might hold him responsible. The next question will be what did you do to my daughter that she ran away. Depending on the father ,he might call the police to arrest you till you produce his daughter .thats why it's safer to find her first and hand her over to her parents before he now tells them what happened

Exactly my point.

5minsmadness:


At two months it's actually a possibility. But even then, the woman must be able to prove that her husband hasn't touched her in ONE year to be able to file for divorce.

That could be why she has her parent's support.

BellaElla:
Oga morning o. In my opinion I believe you are too involved in their marriage. Firstly it is only an irresponsible wife that visits neighbours everyday without reason. You and ur wife shouldn't have let it get that frequent. Its not a behaviour to encouraged and breeds over familiarity and disrespect. Another thing is when she started complaining about her marriage to u people, you should have known the kind of woman she was. That woman can set u up, she can cause issues between u and ur wife . She is not a wise person to associate with. However its not late to disassociate urself. Distance urself from their issues. Stop calling the woman. E no concern u. Let the man and his family sort it out. It would surprise u that when they are talking about their wahala or name would be mentioned. Over familiarity between neighbours dey always bring insult.

Thank you very much. Someone like me, I prefer to be an introvert in my compound/street and a social jaiye jaiye master outside. I've always been like that and would always be like that. Nothing disgusts me more than over familiarity where I live, and I have drummed it onto all my past and present girlfriends /prospective wife that I absolutely would not tolerate being unnecessarily close to my neighbours or whatever. Hi hi good morning good evening is enough.

God forbid say my wife go jump enter neighbour house dey discuss our issues, or that one neighbour would spend his time wondering why I am not doing lovey lovey with my wife. What the hell. My reaction would be very nasty indeed.

People need to learn how to mind their fucking business all the time.

jusRadical:



I beg to differ.

It is not about courting very well. It is about openess, honesty, truthfullness, straightforwardness, being yourself, and being real.

My parents neither courted nor knew each before the day of introduction.

God bless you..
Hit it right on the spot.
Alot of courtship these days are just based on sezx... As long as the lady or guy can give each other marathon sezx, in HD styles , fixing dates for marriage is quickly on the way.. Then make she sabi twerk! Vigorously... Its finished , the guy will start singing songs to his inlaws , he has found a wife.

Their characters are hidden inbetween sheets.. Forming an invinsible and pleasing characters to each other.. Instead of bn true to each other...
What a pity.. Just two months!

CoCoLav:


That could be why she has her parent's support.

Freecocoa?

5minsmadness:

Freecocoa?

No.

Op, please be aware that their marriage crashed because the wife was doing unnecessary comparison i.e comparing YOU to her husband. So this means indirectly she crashed her marriage because she wanted her husband to be like you. This to me means you should not openly intervene in this issue because the comparison will continue. Any idea you have to resolve their marriage should be passed to the husband and let the husband take the step. If you picture too much in this film, i bet you the marriage will never survive the crash. So tread very very carefully.

CoCoLav:


No.

Ok cool.

Thot you was her so I could send the N683,434 cheque. No wahala.

5minsmadness:


Ok cool.

Thot you was her so I could send the N683,434 cheque. No wahala.

Lmao...I could be her if you add 400k to that amount.

5minsmadness:


Ok cool.

Thot you was her so I could send the N683,434 cheque. No wahala.

I'm here biko, send it sharparly and please ignore any other person with coco to their name.

Howdy?

CoCoLav:

Lmao...I could be her if you add 400k to that amount.

If I catch you.

Prettiepearlz:

How are you ma'am and how is our little princess?

Hey dear, am fine and you? My little Angel is doing just fine. Thanks for checking on us.

Juzzybabe:


Hey dear, am fine and you? My little Angel is doing just fine. Thanks for checking on us.

I'm very well, thank you. Glad to know you're both doing great. May the Lord lift his face to shine upon you and give you peace. Amen.