What makes modern religious girls (born-gains) unattractive for marriage?

Please I am not judging or rushing to conclusion. But I visited a church and had attended many churches and it shocks me to see the number of educated, beautiful, working class ladies in their late 30’s trooping to answer alter-calls, sometime crying openly in church to find a husband. Sometime I wonder what part of them don’t men (even brothers in the same church) see? These ladies appear to have it all -shape, education, career, beauty etc. Why are they not getting married despite their credentials? Does it mean these ladies only trooped to church when things have already gone wrong in their lives? Are they being rewarded for past lives? Do men (even Christian men) not find them marriageable? What are they doing wrong?

Please pour your mind and experiences out here. Let’s help people understand. Let’s offer practical solutions.

Pls learn to differenciate religion from spirituality

Well,I doesn't know.

It takes more than beauty to get a man to marry a woman though.

There are a lot of single men in church too, so it's not only the ladies.


Most of these women just want some rich guy with money to marry them.. and that is d genesis of their predicament

How u take conduct the survey?

As for me, I think most sisters in church are too naïve. they practically make no effort and contribution to make a relationship grow stronger. I will only refer to 'some' (the bad ones) here bc some are actually very good dates and realistic.

1.Imagine! some are obviously not virgins bc they have dated several men b4 they became born-again, they still say no-to-sex b4 marriage, which is ok, but some refuse other forms of intimacy (romance, French-kissing, caressing, etc), they want to surprise u on wedding night with 'trash' when u cannot run away again.

2.Some do absolutely nothing for the guy apart from eat his food, waste his time on whatsapp chats, sending him long prayers, and invite him to one church program or the other.

3.Some refuse to cook and help clean a boyfriend’s house claiming they are not his wife yet. So how do u know if they can cook according to GO Ade...?

4.So imagine u have a girlfriend who claims to be a Christian– no sex, no romance, no cooking, no cleaning, no playing, no ‘wordly’ gists etc but she takes gifts. What does a man benefit?

5.I am sorry to say that some born-again ladies make very bad dates. You benefit absolutely nothing from them yet they tell lies a lot. Most things they claim to be turn out to be lies later.

6.Some won’t help when you have problems but claim they are praying for u and sometimes even arrogantly claim their prayers is behind any little success you make.

7.men hate all that “my pastor said” Craps! Every man has his territory. You cannot be loyal to two men same time.

If u want to get, what do you give back? If u only want to be praying for me, then I will only be singing for u too. That should be enough!

Bros, pardon my long epistle. Na so e carry dey my mind today.

saxwizard:
How u take conduct the survey?

obviously u no dey go church, or perhaps u dey wear sunshade inside church abi? otherwise why u dey pretend say u no dey see am for sundays? . for statisticians 'observation' no be 'survey' o, bro. it's a type of information gathering method on it's own

Woged2005:
What makes modern religious girls (born-gains) unattractive for marriage?

Please I am not judging or rushing to conclusion. But I visited a church and had attended many churches and it shocks me to see the number of educated, beautiful, working class ladies in their late 30’s trooping to answer alter-calls, sometime crying openly in church to find a husband. Sometime I wonder what part of them don’t men (even brothers in the same church) see? These ladies appear to have it all -shape, education, career, beauty etc. Why are they not getting married despite their credentials? Does it mean these ladies only trooped to church when things have already gone wrong in their lives? Are they being rewarded for past lives? Do men (even Christian men) not find them marriageable? What are they doing wrong?

Please pour your mind and experiences out here. Let’s help people understand. Let’s offer practical solutions.

Are you saying that Marriage ceremonies are not happening all weekends, sometimes week days any longer.

The same church you see single ladies is the same church that will conduct weddings every Saturday so I don't think its a church thing.

Born again sisters from SU churches get married every Saturday, Born again sisters from less conservative churches get married every Saturdays. Non christains and atheists also get married every saturday, Same way you have singles of marriagable age in all those groups that are not yet married. Prostitues, ex runs girls too get married and some are not married yet


Unless you are saying that church has never wedded any female member. We really can't say that this its because of this or that reason that ladies are not married because for every category you try to classify as the reason be it religious, former lifestyle, character/attitude, age, whatever at all you will find people with such characteristics that are married.

Also there's a difference between being religious and being born again but non of the two is a factor preventing a lady from getting married.

because they mistake religion for christianity

fromnigeria:

Are you saying that Marriage ceremonies are not happening all weekends, sometimes week days any longer.

it depends on who is getting married every weekend and who is not...normally, women wed in their husband's church, all the brides are not from that church or some just started attending during marriage counseling sessions as a condition to wed in that church. check their backgrounds. the topic is about a subset of the global. if 500 people went to war and 20 came back as Heroes, even though the war was won, should we celebrate or not? it's an ethical question. Churches are filled to the brim with eligible spinsters, yet brothers are marrying outside.

Let's not trivialize this. If you know why someone did not marry the sister in church he dated for 3-5yrs please share with us.

Woged2005:


..normally, women wed in their husbands church

That's a very wrong assertion, maybe you should say most of the weddings you have attended or how is is done in your place, those that I have seen practise this are 99% of the time from one part of the country and I have also seen them (Ladies from that part) getting married in their own church.

Its not a "normally" thing pls
Sorry I just needed to object to that notion since its not true

Woged2005:
What makes modern religious girls (born-gains) unattractive for marriage?

Please I am not judging or rushing to conclusion. But I visited a church and had attended many churches and it shocks me to see the number of educated, beautiful, working class ladies in their late 30’s trooping to answer alter-calls, sometime crying openly in church to find a husband. Sometime I wonder what part of them don’t men (even brothers in the same church) see? These ladies appear to have it all -shape, education, career, beauty etc. Why are they not getting married despite their credentials? Does it mean these ladies only trooped to church when things have already gone wrong in their lives? Are they being rewarded for past lives? Do men (even Christian men) not find them marriageable? What are they doing wrong?

Please pour your mind and experiences out here. Let’s help people understand. Let’s offer practical solutions.

Well, people are still getting married regardless...but I must say that you left out one very important thing - character/attitude.


So I was in church this morning and sat next to one gorgeously-dressed unmarried lady (I only assumed she was unmarried going by the vibe she was giving off...didn't bother checking her fingers), then the pastor made a comment about how a lot of single ladies these days always seem to have a long list of things they desire in a man:

- he must be this ......
- he must be that .....
- he must have this .....
- he must have that ..... and so on and so forth,

Now according to him (which is actually the truth and I agree), not one of these ladies usually adds things like these to their lists:

- I will always honour the man God sends my way
- I will totally respect and be a blessing to the family of the man God sends me no matter what
- I will place my future husband's authority above mine in the home as the Lord designs... etc etc.


Back to the lady I sat next to..
While the pastor was talking about how ladies always have long lists and going on to give examples, she kept interjecting with the usual 'yes oo', 'ride on Sir, 'that's it'...
But for some reason, immediately the man went into the second half listing things which they usually fail to include in these lists, you wouldn't believe how mute this young lady became - she didn't make a single sound, it was almost as if she had been caught unaware and off-guard on realizing she was indeed one of those people.

She had obviously become more relaxed now and was probably thinking deep, because that wasn't the narrative she was expecting at the end.



I hope this was practical enough?

@Crackhaus if u a lecturer, I wil defnately score A1 in ur course coz ur explanation are clear as CrystaL......
To d Topic, Ladies are d cause of their own woes

GOFRONT:
@Crackhaus if u a lecturer, I wil defnately score A1 in ur course coz ur explanation are clear as CrystaL......
To d Topic, Ladies are d cause of their own woes

Thanks man, you're too kind..

bigheart2013:
As for me, I think most sisters in church are too naïve. they practically make no effort and contribution to make a relationship grow stronger. I will only refer to 'some' (the bad ones) here bc some are actually very good dates and realistic.

1.Imagine! some are obviously not virgins bc they have dated several men b4 they became born-again, they still say no-to-sex b4 marriage, which is ok, but some refuse other forms of intimacy (romance, French-kissing, caressing, etc), they want to surprise u on wedding night with 'trash' when u cannot run away again.

2.Some do absolutely nothing for the guy apart from eat his food, waste his time on whatsapp chats, sending him long prayers, and invite him to one church program or the other.

3.Some refuse to cook and help clean a boyfriend’s house claiming they are not his wife yet. So how do u know if they can cook according to GO Ade...?

4.So imagine u have a girlfriend who claims to be a Christian– no sex, no romance, no cooking, no cleaning, no playing, no ‘wordly’ gists etc but she takes gifts. What does a man benefit?

5.I am sorry to say that some born-again ladies make very bad dates. You benefit absolutely nothing from them yet they tell lies a lot. Most things they claim to be turn out to be lies later.

6.Some won’t help when you have problems but claim they are praying for u and sometimes even arrogantly claim their prayers is behind any little success you make.

7.men hate all that “my pastor said” Craps! Every man has his territory. You cannot be loyal to two men same time.

If u want to get, what do you give back? If u only want to be praying for me, then I will only be singing for u too. That should be enough!

Bros, pardon my long epistle. Na so e carry dey my mind today.

This is kinda wrong, you're either a born again or not, you are not entitled to spend for the Babe, but the same way she should not be entitled to peform wifely duties when you two are not married. Am not really a born again or even christain to that manner but it seems you're fusing wordly acts with christainity. I think a proper born again guy should ahed more light on this

I wouldn't know why a frenemy of Christian ladies would open a thread aimed at getting 'help' and proffering 'solutions' for them.

Going by your trail of threads on virgins, Christian men and women, we all know your love and concern for them is pseudo, and it's this fact that keeps me wondering why you would continue opening threads to mock them, while hiding under the façade of trying to help.

Sorry ma'am, but I don't get you.

Another challenge is most working class folks spend Monday - Friday at work, then stay indoors resting on Saturday and another few hours in church on Sunday. There is hardly any opportunity for F2F meet ups.

Another common thing I've seen among some Christian sisters is the "I am all that or too good" attitude (masked pride).

Gaborone:
I wouldn't know why a frenemy of Christian ladies would open a thread aimed at getting 'help' and proffering 'solutions' for them.

Going by your trail of threads on virgins, Christian men and women, we all know your love and concern for them is pseudo, and it's this fact that keeps me wondering why you would continue opening threads to mock them, while hiding under the façade of trying to help.

Sorry ma'am, but I don't get you.

You can't drag me to your level, girl. You either have something to contribute to a discussion or get a good Sunday sleep. If the topics somehow hit home to you the best thing to do is not to lunch a distraction or attack...that strategy never worked, and will never work on a strong educated woman. Rather, make your point or open 3000 counter threads, I will read your opinions too. Writers don't stop writing because good authors have written on all topics...do they?

Woged2005:


You can't drag me to your level, girl. You either have something to contribute to a discussion or get a good Sunday sleep. If the topics somehow hit home to you the best thing to do is not to lunch a distraction or attack...that strategy never worked, and will never work on a strong educated woman. Rather, make your point or open 3000 counter threads, I will read your opinions too. Writers don't stop writing because good authors have written on all topics...do they?

Stay down if you won't be dragged to my level.

Keep on doing your thing.

Bye.

We are just focusing on the Ladies because society (us) has put a lot of pressure on Ladies.
.
No one is mentioning the unmarried guys.
.
Women are expected to get married in their 20s.
The expectation for men is 30s.
.
I believe we are reaching a funny state of equilibrium where various groups of people of the same age bracket are aging in the same timeline.
.
This is to say that, if I am 25, all the guys in my group are also in their mid 20s. I am expected to get married at 25 but the guy I should get married to is not yet in his 30s.
The pool of guys I am supposed to draw from are not ready.
.
The searching thing comes from where I have to break away from my age bracket and seek men in a different age bracket, and they are to break away from their age bracket and seek Ladies in my age bracket.
.
The imbalance lies there.
It has nothing to do with religion.
We all need faith. So we run to church.

yetseyi:
The same church you see single ladies is the same church that will conduct weddings every Saturday so I don't think its a church thing.
Born again sisters from SU churches get married every Saturday, Born again sisters from less conservative churches get married every Saturdays. Non christains and atheists also get married every saturday, Same way you have singles of marriagable age in all those groups that are not yet married. Prostitues, ex runs girls too get married and some are not married yet
Unless you are saying that church has never wedded any female member. We really can't say that this its because of this or that reason that ladies are not married because for every category you try to classify as the reason be it religious, former lifestyle, character/attitude, age, whatever at all you will find people with such characteristics that are married.
Also there's a difference between being religious and being born again but non of the two is a factor preventing a lady from getting married.

See as you decimate the whole argument

Some of them have lived reckless lives in the past,when it's time to settle down,they commit themselve in a church.God is not mocked.

Woged2005:
What makes modern religious girls (born-gains) unattractive for marriage?

Please I am not judging or rushing to conclusion. But I visited a church and had attended many churches and it shocks me to see the number of educated, beautiful, working class ladies in their late 30’s trooping to answer alter-calls, sometime crying openly in church to find a husband. Sometime I wonder what part of them don’t men (even brothers in the same church) see? These ladies appear to have it all -shape, education, career, beauty etc. Why are they not getting married despite their credentials? Does it mean these ladies only trooped to church when things have already gone wrong in their lives? Are they being rewarded for past lives? Do men (even Christian men) not find them marriageable? What are they doing wrong?

Please pour your mind and experiences out here. Let’s help people understand. Let’s offer practical solutions.

Why is this not happening in my Church? People are getting married every time. Your observation is false, you are only mocking yourself thinking you are mocking Christian ladies, focus on your own life.

An0nimus:


See as you decimate the whole argument

Honestly I saw the question being rephrased in another format which has been used over and over again in all these kind of threads which is simply lumping a particular category of people together and making an assumption. Its just that this time around its the born again Christan ladies that are on the radar.

Its as good as asking..

1. What makes ladies with good/high paying jobs unattractive for marriage?

2.What makes fair ladies unattractive for marriage

3. What makes ladies with big cars unattractive for marriage.

4 What makes non born again Christians unactractive for marriage( At least I know non born again Christians get married)




Some even say dark ladies get married easier than fair ladies because men think fair ladies are high maintenance, at one point it was virgin ladies talk that was reigning.

Some even say "ugly" ladies (I don't believe anyone is ugly) get married faster than the "beautiful" ones because of their good character does that now mean that beautiful ladies don't get married or there are no beautiful ladies with good character.

Are we now saying that ladies with these characteristics do not get married at all

Can we now say all those getting married in church are not born again since the born again Christians are un attractive for marraige

Maybe its because I hate generalization that's why I am thinking like this.

.The way the question was asked made it seem like there was a statistical backing to that statement.

Mfm and Deeper life still conduct weddings for their born again sisters.

Op. If you had basic education, then you'ld know that there are differences between facts, non facts, assumptions and outright stupidity which I think your reasoning belongs to.
There is no data to back your claim up and you are probably a jobless person that went to church for sinister reasons. Modern day olofofo. Your thread is dead on arrival. Do something useful with your life and while you are at it, refrain from making useless generalisations.

obiaguna:
Op. If you had basic education, then you'ld know that there are differences between facts, non facts, assumptions and outright stupidity which I think your reasoning belongs to.
There is no data to back your claim up and you are probably a jobless person that went to church for sinister reasons. Modern day olofofo. Your thread is dead on arrival. Do something useful with your life and while you are at it, refrain from making useless generalisations.

Well, the last time I checked Bill Gates and Warren Buffett don't waste their time bantering words with unemployed people on social media. The fact that you are here doing just that means you are in the same condition as you criticized above. If you are busy you too won't be here abi? So chill bro, and enjoy NL gossips with us till you get something serious doing.

Woged2005:
What makes modern religious girls (born-gains) unattractive for marriage?

Please I am not judging or rushing to conclusion. But I visited a church and had attended many churches and it shocks me to see the number of educated, beautiful, working class ladies in their late 30’s trooping to answer alter-calls, sometime crying openly in church to find a husband. Sometime I wonder what part of them don’t men (even brothers in the same church) see? These ladies appear to have it all -shape, education, career, beauty etc. Why are they not getting married despite their credentials? Does it mean these ladies only trooped to church when things have already gone wrong in their lives? Are they being rewarded for past lives? Do men (even Christian men) not find them marriageable? What are they doing wrong?

Please pour your mind and experiences out here. Let’s help people understand. Let’s offer practical solutions.

Where pls?
I have never seen such

In my whole life I only know of 2 ladies who are not married in their late thirties/forties and that's because they spent all their twenties in relationships with sugar daddies and by the time they wanted to settle down, their standard was too high and men their age couldn't meet up with their status so men their age just used them and dumped them or didnt even go near them.
That was afowofa and nothing to do with born again.

every weekend, women even girls get married. both the Christians, Muslims, paganists and atheists alike.

so where did you bring out this hasty generalisation from?

anyhoo, if you have solutions to this "problem", profer them rather than hiding under being helpful to cast unnecessary aspersions laced with subtle mockery.

saxwizard:
How u take conduct the survey?

are you from this planet? or maybe you reside abroad

Pidggin:


Why is this not happening in my Church? People are getting married every time. Your observation is false, you are only mocking yourself thinking you are mocking Christian ladies, focus on your own life.

definitely, your church must have been located
in another planet

obiaguna:
Op. If you had basic education, then you'ld know that there are differences between facts, non facts, assumptions and outright stupidity which I think your reasoning belongs to.
There is no data to back your claim up and you are probably a jobless person that went to church for sinister reasons. Modern day olofofo. Your thread is dead on arrival. Do something useful with your life and while you are at it, refrain from making useless generalisations.

you don't have to be insultive to drive home
your point, that is amaturish