carmag:


definitely, your church must have been located
in another planet

It seems you live in isolation, you don't attend weddings or you don't know that multiple weddings are conducted every single weekend of the year.

crackhaus:

Well, people are still getting married regardless...but I must say that you left out one very important thing - character/attitude.


So I was in church this morning and sat next to one gorgeously-dressed unmarried lady (I only assumed she was unmarried going by the vibe she was giving off...didn't bother checking her fingers), then the pastor made a comment about how a lot of single ladies these days always seem to have a long list of things they desire in a man:

- he must be this ......
- he must be that .....
- he must have this .....
- he must have that ..... and so on and so forth,

Now according to him (which is actually the truth and I agree), not one of these ladies usually adds things like these to their lists:

- I will always honour the man God sends my way
- I will totally respect and be a blessing to the family of the man God sends me no matter what
- I will place my future husband's authority above mine in the home as the Lord designs... etc etc.


Back to the lady I sat next to..
While the pastor was talking about how ladies always have long lists and going on to give examples, she kept interjecting with the usual 'yes oo', 'ride on Sir, 'that's it'...
But for some reason, immediately the man went into the second half listing things which they usually fail to include in these lists, you wouldn't believe how mute this young lady became - she didn't make a single sound, it was almost as if she had been caught unaware and off-guard on realizing she was indeed one of those people.

She had obviously become more relaxed now and was probably thinking deep, because that wasn't the narrative she was expecting at the end.



I hope this was practical enough?

Do you worship with The Kings Assembly Sir?

bigheart2013:
As for me, I think most sisters in church are too naïve. they practically make no effort and contribution to make a relationship grow stronger. I will only refer to 'some' (the bad ones) here bc some are actually very good dates and realistic.

1.Imagine! some are obviously not virgins bc they have dated several men b4 they became born-again, they still say no-to-sex b4 marriage, which is ok, but some refuse other forms of intimacy (romance, French-kissing, caressing, etc), they want to surprise u on wedding night with 'trash' when u cannot run away again.

2.Some do absolutely nothing for the guy apart from eat his food, waste his time on whatsapp chats, sending him long prayers, and invite him to one church program or the other.

3.Some refuse to cook and help clean a boyfriend’s house claiming they are not his wife yet. So how do u know if they can cook according to GO Ade...?

4.So imagine u have a girlfriend who claims to be a Christian– no sex, no romance, no cooking, no cleaning, no playing, no ‘wordly’ gists etc but she takes gifts. What does a man benefit?

5.I am sorry to say that some born-again ladies make very bad dates. You benefit absolutely nothing from them yet they tell lies a lot. Most things they claim to be turn out to be lies later.

6.Some won’t help when you have problems but claim they are praying for u and sometimes even arrogantly claim their prayers is behind any little success you make.

7.men hate all that “my pastor said” Craps! Every man has his territory. You cannot be loyal to two men same time.

If u want to get, what do you give back? If u only want to be praying for me, then I will only be singing for u too. That should be enough!

Bros, pardon my long epistle. Na so e carry dey my mind today.

Well said!!! Chop knuckle.

Op what's your motive of creating this thread in the first place?

Marriage issue is a two way thing , it actually involve two aggreed people. The main problem why we see many mature for marriage may be guy or ladies out there still single is actually not far from the situation of the contry where ppl already have problem the moment they are tru with NYSC, the unemployment is actually killing, no reasonalbe guy will ever think of marriage when he can not even aviod to trtansport him self to attend any interview, and this is very common among our youth this days. if guys are employed, and at least can take care of them self and the little family its then that they will think of getting married and even if at this level they dont want to family, friend and relative can still encourage them to marry, but who will encourage somebody without job to get marry so i think that is the basis.

In the other hand ladies that are gainfully employed find it difficult to get married because most guys can not depends on there wife for survival, as all men want to be the head of there home, want to be respected and want to be responsible for the well being of there family

Processor01:
Another challenge is most working class folks spend Monday - Friday at work, then stay indoors resting on Saturday and another few hours in church on Sunday. There is hardly any opportunity for F2F meet ups.

Another common thing I've seen among some Christian sisters is the "I am all that or too good" attitude (masked pride).

True

crackhaus:

Well, people are still getting married regardless...but I must say that you left out one very important thing - character/attitude.


So I was in church this morning and sat next to one gorgeously-dressed unmarried lady (I only assumed she was unmarried going by the vibe she was giving off...didn't bother checking her fingers), then the pastor made a comment about how a lot of single ladies these days always seem to have a long list of things they desire in a man:

- he must be this ......
- he must be that .....
- he must have this .....
- he must have that ..... and so on and so forth,

Now according to him (which is actually the truth and I agree), not one of these ladies usually adds things like these to their lists:

- I will always honour the man God sends my way
- I will totally respect and be a blessing to the family of the man God sends me no matter what
- I will place my future husband's authority above mine in the home as the Lord designs... etc etc.


Back to the lady I sat next to..
While the pastor was talking about how ladies always have long lists and going on to give examples, she kept interjecting with the usual 'yes oo', 'ride on Sir, 'that's it'...
But for some reason, immediately the man went into the second half listing things which they usually fail to include in these lists, you wouldn't believe how mute this young lady became - she didn't make a single sound, it was almost as if she had been caught unaware and off-guard on realizing she was indeed one of those people.

She had obviously become more relaxed now and was probably thinking deep, because that wasn't the narrative she was expecting at the end.



I hope this was practical enough?

Lols! @ I will place my future husband's authority above mine in the home as the Lord designs... etc etc.

How do you place your husband's 'authority' above yours? Practical examples?

I agree with the pastor that most people are concerned with what is in for them.

@OP:

I do not think 'scarcity' of eligible men is the problem why there is a lot of 'single' ladies in their 30s; the problem is that the ladies are not ready to be married. When they are, they will.

Again, more youths late 20s and early 30s are still looking for a stable means of livelihood before talking of marriage and besides, we have about 15m women in the 21 - 35 age bracket (no sauce, pure assumptions) so 1m single and ready to mingle women in that bracket is not a bad thing.

I notice one thing in church... Guys in church, rarely date or.marry sisters in church.. The guys rather go to other churches and bring in wives to the church. Its simply their mentality.
Also its not only in church, sisters can have a husband material.
On their streets, workplace, supermarkets, etc.. The georgeous ladies have to be humble and warm to have men wishing and making moves to marry them

Its both ways,op..
One thing i know, humility and care goes along way in getting a husband.

Woged2005:


it depends on who is getting married every weekend and who is not...normally, women wed in their husband's church, all the brides are not from that church or some just started attending during marriage counseling sessions as a condition to wed in that church. check their backgrounds. the topic is about a subset of the global. if 500 people went to war and 20 came back as Heroes, even though the war was won, should we celebrate or not? it's an ethical question. Churches are filled to the brim with eligible spinsters, yet brothers are marrying outside.

Let's not trivialize this. If you know why someone did not marry the sister in church he dated for 3-5yrs please share with us.

This is a serious issue that calls for concern. I have 2 of my friends in this category and they're both advanced in age. They are my colleagues at work, they're nice in attitude and beautiful in their own rights, active in church yet no husband. In my church too the story is not different, brothers are marrying from outside. I think some sisters just want ready made goods, nobody wants to start from the scratch with any man anymore, God help us.

placeofallure:


This is a serious issue that calls for concern. I have 2 of my friends in this category and they're both advanced in age. They are my colleagues at work, they're nice in attitude and beautiful in their own rights, active in church yet no husband. In my church too the story is not different, brothers are marrying from outside. I think some sisters just want ready made goods, nobody wants to start from the scratch with any man anymore, God help us.

Let's dig deeper:

What happened to your friends when they were younger?

Again, if you insinuating that some sisters in your church are not marrying the brothers because they want 'ready made' brothers, doesn't it tell you something about the direction of the teachings in your church?

Or could it be that the brothers marry other sisters outside and ditto the sisters too?

Like to hear about your friends..

bukatyne:


Let's dig deeper:

What happened to your friends when they were younger?

Again, if you insinuating that some sisters in your church are not marrying the brothers because they want 'ready made' brothers, doesn't it tell you something about the direction of the teachings in your church?

Or could it be that the brothers marry other sisters outside and ditto the sisters too?

Like to hear about your friends..

My friends are just like the normal girl next door. Nothing spectacular or extraordinary other than what goes on in relationships that don't work and both parties move on. Absolutely nothing!

I think this thread was created because of the overwhelming majority of unmarried singles in the church.

Yes, atheists, ladies of the night, "unattractive" etc ladies do get married everyday.

But the question begs, why not those in church. Those who are really supposed to be expected to be married?
If the God of Heaven is their God?

God has put everything down here for you. You cannot expect Him to feed you physically too.

Women must employ their feminine ways and not be afraid of who they are to get ahead.
(you cant be loose as a woman and expect respect. Also don't be so uptight. Just find a godly balance.
a balance you and your God and your conscience feel right about)

Go get 'em girls.
Get married.

Woged2005:


Well, the last time I checked Bill Gates and Warren Buffett don't waste their time bantering words with unemployed people on social media. The fact that you are here doing just that means you are in the same condition as you criticized above. If you are busy you too won't be here abi? So chill bro, and enjoy NL gossips with us till you get something serious doing.

Take my advice. Dullard.

bukatyne:


Lols! @ I will place my future husband's authority above mine in the home as the Lord designs... etc etc.

How do you place your husband's 'authority' above yours? Practical examples?

I agree with the pastor that most people are concerned with what is in for them.

See what Bukatyne is asking me....
You, a self-proclaimed Christian and happily married woman, asking me how a woman places her husband's authority above hers.


Yea the basis of the comparison made by the pastor was to show how these women seem to be more interested in what they want in/gain from a marriage ( by projecting the 'HE'), than what they intend bringing into it themselves (internalizing the 'I').

BellaElla:


Do you worship with The Kings Assembly Sir?

Ohh ohh, what a coincidence this is...

Yes Ma, I worship at TKA whenever I'm in town.

You my dear have the award for the most irritating thread starter ever. Maybe only second to Tpia. (Where's she BTW)

All your threads are subtle attempts to mock your fellow women. And I find it annoying. Always judgmental and hoity toity. Prescribing solutions to problems that no one begged you to help solve. Did the single sisters complain to you? Why always on their case? You can't go a while without coming up with posts about single women and why they aren't married.

Silly.

Late marriage is one of the characteristics/consequences of Urban settlement.

Only 1 or 2 out of 30 Churches in Lagos conduct marriage ceremony on Weekends. Population is on the increase, it is hard to make a choice in the midst of multitude. Brothers are hustling, they can't get leave to plan their family, future.

Go to the Rural areas, and other mini urban settlements and watch how parties hold on a weekly basis.

After working from Monday through Friday in Lagos, some bosses will give you emergency calls to resume duty on Saturday. The situation is different in a place like Akure, Ilorin, Ado-Ekiti, etc. With N80,000/monthly, a decent man can live a big boy life in Ilorin. In Lagos, you'll need to work & save for at least 7 years on that Salary before you can conveniently rent a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment in Magodo Phase 1.

It is crazy.


The Thread is on-point, accusers should not bully OP into silence. Keep doing your thing Woged2005. I'm a fan, one love Sister!

crackhaus:

See what Bukatyne is asking me....
You, a self-proclaimed Christian and happily married woman, asking me how a woman places her husband's authority above hers.


Yea the basis of the comparison made by the pastor was to show how these women seem to be more interested in what they want in/gain from a marriage ( by projecting the 'HE'), than what they intend bringing into it themselves (internalizing the 'I').

Stop diverting attention from her question. We have had enough theory now. Give us pragmatic examples.

How does a woman place her husband's authority over hers? PRACTICALLY!

Cc: Bukatyne

cococandy:
You my dear have the award for the most irritating thread starter ever. Maybe only second to Tpia. (Where's she BTW)

All your threads are subtle attempts to mock your fellow women. And I find it annoying. Always judgmental and hoity toity. Prescribing solutions to problems that no one begged you to help solve. Did the single sisters complain to you? Why always on their case? You can't go a while without coming up with posts about single women and why they aren't married.

Silly.

spot on.

I thought I was the only person who noticed that the op's threads subtly mock single women.

Mindfulness:


Stop diverting attention from her question. We have had enough theory now. Give us pragmatic examples.

How does a woman place her husband's authority over hers? PRACTICALLY!

Cc: Bukatyne

Now it's someone like you I can respond to seeing as you're kind of an atheist and such concepts are completely strange to you, but I feel it'll be a lot more credible if you got the answers you seek right from the source.

You may be able to reach Pastor Chris Ugoh or Mrs Yemisi Ugoh through www.thekingsassembly.org OR on Facebook: /thekingsassembly.
They sure would love to hear from you.

This is if you're really interested though, because last I checked you weren't even a Christian or interested in anything that has to do with Christianity.

crackhaus:

Now it's someone like you I can respond to seeing as you're kind of an atheist and such concepts are completely strange to you, but I feel it'll be a lot more credible if you got the answers you seek right from the source.

An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in the existance of God, that's not me.

You may be able to reach Pastor Chris Ugoh or Mrs Yemisi Ugoh through www.thekingsassembly.org OR on Facebook: /thekingsassembly.
They sure would love to hear from you.

They sure wouldn't love to interact with me. They ould prefer the devil himself.

This is if you're really interested though, because last I checked you weren't even a Christian or interested in anything that has to do with Christianity.

I am interested in hearing from you - that is if you don't chicken out.

So how should a woman PRACTICALLY place her husband's authority over her own?

Mindfulness:

An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in the existance of God, that's not me.

Atheism isn't a belief system, it is the lack of belief in the things that makes God, God - his principles, tenets, and commandments.
So while you do acknowledge there is a God, you don't really believe in any thing the Bible preaches for/against...you probably see the stories therein as a well-documented work of fiction.

This is what makes you an Atheist.

They sure wouldn't love to interact with me. They would prefer the devil himself.

Actually in this case, you would qualify as the devil—not in appearance or form, but in your disbelief and rebelliousness against the things of God.

You are exactly the kind of person ministers are called to interact with in a bid to show the way of salvation.

I am interested in hearing from you - that is if you don't chicken out.
So how should a woman PRACTICALLY place her husband's authority over her own?

After all the time we've spent hounding and antagonizing one other on here, you still don't know that such don't work on me?
The harder one tries to manipulate/play on my ego, the harder I resist to reinforce the fact that I do/say what I want only when I want.

Besides, we both know you're not interested because you really want to learn genuinely how to place your husband's authority above yours...this isn't something Mindfulness would ever want to do.

crackhaus:

Atheism isn't a belief system, it is the lack of belief in the things that makes God, God - his principles, tenets, and commandments.
So while you do acknowledge there is a God, you don't really believe in any thing the Bible preaches for/against...you probably see the stories therein as a well-documented work of fiction.

atheist

a person who believes that God does not exist

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/atheist?q=atheist

This is what makes you an Atheist.

Obviously not.

atheist (n.) Look up atheist at Dictionary.com
1570s, from French athéiste (16c.), from Greek atheos "without god, denying the gods; abandoned of the gods; godless, ungodly," from a- "without" + theos "a god" (see theo-).

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=atheist

Actually in this case, you would qualify as the devil—not in appearance or form, but in your disbelief and rebelliousness against the things of God.

I like it.

You are exactly the kind of person ministers are called to interact with in a bid to show the way of salvation.

After all the time we've spent hounding and antagonizing one other on here, you still don't know that such don't work on me?
The harder one tries to manipulate/play on my ego, the harder I resist to reinforce the fact that I do/say what I want only when I want.

Antagonizing?
I have been showing love all of the time.

Besides, we both know you're not interested because you really want to learn genuinely how to place your husband's authority above yours...this isn't something Mindfulness would ever want to do.

Let's see if you are a good teacher. I will try to behave myself.

Mindfulness:


atheist

a person who believes that God does not exist

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/atheist?q=atheist





Obviously not.

atheist (n.) Look up atheist at Dictionary.com
1570s, from French athéiste (16c.), from Greek atheos "without god, denying the gods; abandoned of the gods; godless, ungodly," from a- [b]"without" + theos "a god" (see theo-).[/b]

http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=atheist

I wagered you weren't going to understand the explanation I gave, but still I had to try.

When you want to get the true basic meaning of a word/concept, you don't use Oxford dictionary or any dictionary for that matter...what you do is look for the origin of the word, and then read the literal translation from that origin.

You already discovered the Greek origin as Atheos which interprets literally as "without god, denying the gods; abandoned of the gods; godless, ungodly," [size=13pt]from a- "without" + theos "a god"...[/size] but still, you didn't understand it.

Did you see the words 'belief' or 'exist/existence' in the literal Greek translation?

What you have there are words like 'godless', 'ungodly', 'without god'... [size=13pt]Meaning, there is a God but the Atheos is one without that God— godless, ungodly. [/size]

I like it.

Obviously.

Antagonizing?
I have been showing love all of the time.


Let's see if you are a good teacher. I will try to behave myself.

I am a good teacher whether you think so or not, but on this I'll pass.

Maybe BellaElla one of The King's Daughters can help you...she's a woman and also married I presume.

author=crackhaus post=48336692]
I wagered you weren't going to understand the explanation I gave, but still I had to try.

When you want to get the true basic meaning of a word/concept, you don't use Oxford dictionary or any dictionary for that matter...what you do is look for the origin of the word, and then read the literal translation from that origin.

You already discovered the Greek origin as Atheos which interprets literally as "without god, denying the gods; abandoned of the gods; godless, ungodly," from a- "without" + theos "a god"... and still you didn't understand it.

Did you see the words 'belief' or 'exist/existence' in the literal Greek translation?
What you have there are words like 'godless', 'ungodly', 'without god'... [size=13pt]Meaning, there is a God but the Atheos is one without that God— godless, ungodly. [/size]

No no no, it's you who struggles with semantics here or is it rather your world view that makes you think that anyone who is no adherent of one of the world religions must be an atheist? I guess, it's the first; else you would very much resemble those who call Christians infidels and we both know who they are.

Obviously.


I am a good teacher whether you think so or not, but on this I'll pass.

Maybe BellaElla one of The King's Daughters can help you...she's a woman and also married I presume.

I would be disappointed if I expected anything else.

Mindfulness:


No no no, it's you who struggles with semantics here or is it rather your world view that makes you think that anyone who is no adherent of one of the world religions must be an atheist? I guess, it's the first; else you would very much resemble those who call Christians infidels and we both know who they are.

Lol, see me see Mindfulness..

Me struggling with semantics, OR you not wanting to actually read the link you provided yourself because you know it changes everything you think you knew?

Atheist
Origin: Greek word, Atheos
Literal Meaning: A - "without" + Theos - "a god"
Interpretation: Without a god/Without God

Definition of Atheist
A person who is without God: (lack of God, Godless, Ungodly).
For an atheist to be someone of a godless or ungodly nature, then he/she knows there is a God in the first place.

I would be disappointed if I expected anything else.

Then it's a good thing for both of us that I didn't disappoint you.

crackhaus:

Lol, see me see Mindfulness..

Me struggling with semantics, OR you not wanting to actually read the link you provided yourself because you know it changes everything you think you knew?

Atheist
Origin: Greek word, Atheos
Literal Meaning: A - "without" + Theos - "a god"
Interpretation: Without a god/Without God

And so someone who is not Christian, Muslim or Jew is without God?
I swear you Chistians have so much in common with ISIS.

Definition of Atheist
A person who is without God: (lack of God, Godless, Ungodly).
For an atheist to be someone of a godless or ungodly nature, then he/she knows there is a God in the first place.

Crap!

Then it's a good thing for both of us that I didn't disappoint you.

No worries.

Well it's usually because no man wants to marry a hypocrite for a wife.

OP, it might intrigue you to know that most christian men like getting married to wayward girls, the type who club and do runz because at least, they show their real color.

This women you see about shouting in church that God should give them husbands, are the ones who will usually reveal their devilish nature when they find their self inside a man's house.

So OP, remember the saying, "the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know".

bigheart2013:
As for me, I think most sisters in church are too naïve. they practically make no effort and contribution to make a relationship grow stronger. I will only refer to 'some' (the bad ones) here bc some are actually very good dates and realistic.

1.Imagine! some are obviously not virgins bc they have dated several men b4 they became born-again, they still say no-to-sex b4 marriage, which is ok, but some refuse other forms of intimacy (romance, French-kissing, caressing, etc), they want to surprise u on wedding night with 'trash' when u cannot run away again.

2.Some do absolutely nothing for the guy apart from eat his food, waste his time on whatsapp chats, sending him long prayers, and invite him to one church program or the other.

3.Some refuse to cook and help clean a boyfriend’s house claiming they are not his wife yet. So how do u know if they can cook according to GO Ade...?

4.So imagine u have a girlfriend who claims to be a Christian– no sex, no romance, no cooking, no cleaning, no playing, no ‘wordly’ gists etc but she takes gifts. What does a man benefit?

5.I am sorry to say that some born-again ladies make very bad dates. You benefit absolutely nothing from them yet they tell lies a lot. Most things they claim to be turn out to be lies later.

6.Some won’t help when you have problems but claim they are praying for u and sometimes even arrogantly claim their prayers is behind any little success you make.

7.men hate all that “my pastor said” Craps! Every man has his territory. You cannot be loyal to two men same time.

If u want to get, what do you give back? If u only want to be praying for me, then I will only be singing for u too. That should be enough!

Bros, pardon my long epistle. Na so e carry dey my mind today.

Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you. So spot on

Check their attitude, some of them hide under the guise of religion. They are rotten eggs.

Duplicate post