newsphase:
My sister is actually going through almost the same thing... But in this case the guy is afraid of the difference in tribes... which he shouldn't...

Now I believe this case has a very simple and a very impossible solution...

Lets consider this about your relationship

1. Your girl cannot see a future about your relationship..
2. She doesn't agree with her parents on the tribalistic stuff and yet has not made up her mind if she wants to go on with you for the rest of her life..
3. She is going to distance herself from you (I mean going for her masters) with this very critical situation happening, meaning she is as good as gone..

DarkSkinBwoy I want you to just clarify the situation with your girlfriend using what I told you above...

If she keeps saying I don't know, or I am confused or give me time to think, then I assure you there is a 50% chance that girl will follow her parents, and you will end up heartbroken (maybe you will be waiting for one year for her to finish her master and when she is done, you will see her invitation card)

I wouldn't blame the mother, she is just protecting her little girl from all the marriage problems you see around, you can't trust men at all...

Once you clarify the situation with your woman... Then you can go to buy the parents acceptance.. When I say buy I mean do anything to get it... be it gifts, house chores or anything...

With aid from your woman, (that is she will be expressing your work as characterisitcs of a good husband to her parents in the back) then lets see what will happen..

Remember your woman said her mother refused you not because she didn't like you tribe... But because that people from same tribe understand each other better.

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise

DarkSkinBwoy:


Thanks a lot man

I once asked her where she sees us 5years from now, she said, newly weds and probably with a child

The reasons for her "I don't know" is

1- she's scared of future heartbreaks cause she loves me too much
2- I told her i'll be traveling out for my masters which i've cancelled though
3- her parents' tribal stance
4- she hates staying too long away from me

These are the reasons i've deduced, i'm ready to give anything to make us work and possibly get married in the future, that's why i'm planning to relocate to lagos and settle down after graduation

Her mum doesn't know about me yet, but her brothers have mentioned my name in her presence before

IamLEGEND1:
with the way parents dey para on top tribal matter these days,People like me don enter one chance be that.

What about my beautiful northern sisters

misspicy:

What about my beautiful northern sisters

forget talk,everybody no like fulani now.dem fulani herdsmen don gather bad blood from up north down to the south
parents go say you go slit their daughter throat.
Spicy,luv...... i missed you.

IamLEGEND1:
forget talk,everybody no like fulani now.dem fulani herdsmen don gather bad blood from up north down to the south
parents go say you go slit their daughter throat.
Spicy,luv...... i missed you.

Hahahahahahahaha



sweery I miss you too,when are you coming home bunny

DarkSkinBwoy:


Thanks a lot man

I once asked her where she sees us 5years from now, she said, newly weds and probably with a child

The reasons for her "I don't know" is

1- she's scared of future heartbreaks cause she loves me too much
2- I told her i'll be traveling out for my masters which i've cancelled though
3- her parents' tribal stance
4- she hates staying too long away from me

These are the reasons i've deduced, i'm ready to give anything to make us work and possibly get married in the future, that's why i'm planning to relocate to lagos and settle down after graduation

Her mum doesn't know about me yet, but her brothers have mentioned my name in her presence before

kellycute:
I'm gonna be honest with u. It is not going to work. U need to follow ur own dream. Don't build ur life around a lady. I was once in this kind of situation and trust me u don't wanna experience it. Cancelling your dream of travelling out for master cos of her is one of the greatest mistake ever. U need to focus more on developing yourself, be a better u that her family will always wanna associate with. She has already made her choice *to go after her dream* so why not go after yours too? If it is meant to be u guys gonna meet again. Don't try to push it or force it. Even if she decide to listen to her parents and diss you, listen kiddo, your destiny is not tied to anyone who walk away from your life. I know u probably don't wanna let go of whatever joy or happiness u getting from this relationship but trust me your best life or happiness is not behind you but ahead of you. My point is, focus on your own dream focus on your own future. Be successful and everything gonna be alright. You don't need to be mad at her mom. She gotta do what she gotta do. Ur gf already decide to follow her mom advice. It is time for you to let go.

kellycute:
I'm gonna be honest with u. It is not going to work. U need to follow ur own dream. Don't build ur life around a lady. I was once in this kind of situation and trust me u don't wanna experience it. Cancelling your dream of travelling out for master cos of her is one of the greatest mistake ever. U need to focus more on developing yourself, be a better u that her family will always wanna associate with. She has already made her choice *to go after her dream* so why not go after yours too? If it is meant to be u guys gonna meet again. Don't try to push it or force it. Even if she decide to listen to her parents and diss you, listen kiddo, your destiny is not tied to anyone who walk away from your life. I know u probably don't wanna let go of whatever joy or happiness u getting from this relationship but trust me your best life or happiness is not behind you but ahead of you. My point is, focus on your own dream focus on your own future. Be successful and everything gonna be alright. You don't need to be mad at her mom. She gotta do what she gotta do. Ur gf already decide to follow her mom advice. It is time for you to let go.

waxxydude:
Itsekiri and yoruba? . Breh, make her know how much you feel. Pour out your heart, give her a cup to drink. Make her take decisions.

if she's that mummy girl childish sh_t, then sorry breh cause i don't see you both ending together.

BTW, this would be good for a nollywood script though.

newsphase:


If you and her are in unison... then you can go ahead and start to win her parents consent

rosieluv:
experienced same thing wiv my parents,u jes v to let dem knw ur stand. Besides its evn too early to b discussin marriage,u guys r final year students. As for me i clearly told my parents dat if dey dnt allow me get married to d man of my choice,am gonna remain single or get pregnant,let me c if dey wil nt bless d union. U didnt mention wah er father said abt d relationship,er mother does nt v d final say.

DarkSkinBwoy:


Thanks a lot

Well, it was the idea of my dad that i do my masters outside because of the course I studied, but to be honest with you, i'm not a school person, i'm more interested in the entertainment part of life, i've always been an entertainer

I already told myself that I won't carry my cv up and down looking for a job, my plan is to be an entrepreneur and an artiste/actor/fashionista and the likes and this girl supports me with all her heart and even encourages me, her name should replace the word "understanding" in the dictionary, believe me when I say my dream is built with her in it, there's a lot I wanna do for her for her support and love

We just finished talking and she is clear on her stance in the relationship, she wants to be with me not minding the words of her mum

kellycute:
well I won't try to talk you out of your plans or ur relationship. My main concern is that you should focus more on you. This isn't about her but it is about you. You can't control what will be her stance later on in future. You need to stop taking decision in line with her own dream and start taking decision that will better your own future. Let be honest ,very soon the wind of life will blow both of u to different location *nysc*. What have become of u will play a key role in whether u guys will be together or not. Don't let anyone deceive you. Everyone wanna be with a successful man. If someone like mikel obi ask ur gf hand in marriage, her mama go disown her if she refuse mikel lol.u wanna win her mom over? Go and be successful everything gonna be alright.

DarkSkinBwoy:


She hasn't told them about us yet cause of what her mum has been hammering

It's not early oh, they say make hay while the sun shines, my mum already told me to be sure of what we both want

misspicy:

Hahahahahahahaha
sweery I miss you too,when are you coming home bunny

rosieluv:

lols most mothers r like dat,first thing she has to tell er parents abt u now so u wil knw were u stand,instead of wasting ur time praying dat dey accept u wen dey wont. Now is d right time to tell her parents abt u n mk dem undastnd dat its her hapiness nt theirs. The outcome of their discussion shud determine wah u do next .

IamLEGEND1:
bt as i don pay some part of ur dowry already,na you go marry me last last.
& I'll be home Very soon,dear....very soon.

The elders have added a duplex for pman to the list

DarkSkinBwoy:

Thank you very much, I really appreciate your time

DarkSkinBwoy:


Thanks a lot, your advice really helped, we are in unison, over unison dey worry us now sef

rosieluv:
experienced same thing wiv my parents,u jes v to let dem knw ur stand. Besides its evn too early to b discussin marriage,u guys r final year students. As for me i clearly told my parents dat if dey dnt allow me get married to d man of my choice,am gonna remain single or get pregnant,let me c if dey wil nt bless d union. U didnt mention wah er father said abt d relationship,er mother does nt v d final say.

newsphase:


The way you talked is the way you look in the your profile pic... Simply childish views... When I was a child I behaved like a child, now that I am an adult I put away childish things..

When I was child and my parents refused me biscuit, I would cry and refuse to follow her until she gives me biscuit..

Now am an adult when I need something and it is not given to me do you expect me to cry... Of course no!

So instead of handing your parents ultimatums, that you could get pregnant or remain single for life, You reason with them, cast your heart, ideas, choices onto them and talk like a full grown adult and not a child..

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise

rosieluv:

childish views? coming frm a grown up ass ryt? Parents shud nt interfere in deir children's lives. i bet u reasoned wiv dem n let dem decide evrytyn abt ur life. You r d child ere simply allowing ur parents dictate who u get married to. Tribalistic differences frm parents r necessary n uncalled for. i dnt care wah angle u comin frm buh my post wsnt meant for u.

newsphase:


I was the one who liked your comment.. because I can't argue with you in text... Lets do it face to face... women are more calmer at that point

rosieluv:

lol am nt calm wen angry so it dznt apply to all