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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Guys, Please Advice Me! (2441 Views)
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Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 9:47pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
A friend of mine wants me to marry his daughter. This man is into medical while the daughter just graduated from the university. I know the family pretty well having spent some time with them. But the problem is, I really don't like their daughter. She's pretty but not my kind of girl. Another problem is this man is a little bit stingy. Infact, whenever we go out together, he will always want me to spend my own money. I am really confused now because this is the third time. The other time was a grandmother and a man. Any advice for me please? |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by vizkiz: 9:48pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Help yourself 1 Like |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 9:52pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
vizkiz:Please advice me. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by MENZPRIDE(m): 9:55pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Have you had a Heart 2 Heart chat with the girl? Have you said no to the offer? Or you are scared of sounding Disrespectful? Is there anything you might lose if you don't marry the girl? |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 10:05pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
MENZPRIDE: Not yet. I am yet to talk to the girl but have talked about her with my mom, she said she wants to see the girl. Yes, i am quite scared of being disrespectful. Fourth, I don't think I will lose something if I do not. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by SemuhleB(f): 10:27pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
To be honest (no offense) sounds like you are in it for material reasons (rich family etc) if you end up marrying this girl. I mean we are no longer in the 1800s were we don't have a say in what we decide. You claim you don't like her and stinginess of her dad so why not decline? Afterall i thought you are even dating. What happened to your girlfriend? You say her father is your friend? Are you her fathers age? Grow some balls and tell him the truth unless you are planning to marry the girl for financial benefits as you are currently contemplating but just know Karma is real ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 10:51pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
SemuhleB: You got it all wrong. There are quite a number of reasons that made this man to think of me marrying his daughter which I wouldn't want to disclose here. I discussed everything with my parents but my mom said she wants to see this girl personally while my dad didn't say anything. It's not about money but a good home. So, they want to know whether this man is up to something or not. Of course, I do not see the girl as someone I could be with. Just because this is happening to me three times, so I was so apprehensive. Also, you mustn't be the same age with a man to be his friend. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by SemuhleB(f): 11:11pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
DeeTus: I think it all boils down to the bolder irrespective of what your friends motive is. You are not interested. Just tell him you originally found it difficult to tell him but you are not interested and you are seeing someone currently. His daughter deserves someone whose heart is open for her and unfortunately you are not the one. Interesting to see that this "kind of arrangement" goes on till today. Apart from India i never knew it happens with other Africans too. Btw what does the gal think ? Does she want to marry you or is she being forced? |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 11:34pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
SemuhleB: The daughter is interested in me because ever since I knew her dad, I've never approached her. I see her as someone not good enough for myself. I do ignore pretty girls sometimes and that gets their interest level high. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by blackpanther25(m): 11:38pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
How old are you? You sound childish. Is it so difficult to say you not interested. For goodness sake to create a thread on this stupid ish when the solution is simple. Would you like me to tell them on your behalf since you too much of a pucci to do it? Smh 4 Likes |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 11:46pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
blackpanther25: Thanks for your insult! |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 12:47am On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: I turned down quite a few proposals so i qualify to make a comment. In all blunt honesty,You have talents this guys believe will translate to wealth coupled with character that they will like their daughter to settle into.You may go out with the daughter for some time and find out you have some bright sparks and you're compatible contrary to your first glance opinion,the real issue why i rund far from this kind of arrangement is will you own your independence ? or will you be someon else's tool? Thesedays if my liberty is threatened immediately i get running,your standards may differ though but take your time think it through...There maybe sumthin in it who knows.. Finally our mothers are fantastic in knowing a good from bad family.Your mum can tell her family.Their motives.Your future if u allow her see the girl.I think you should work on this.... |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Bishops10(m): 1:49am On Aug 22, 2016 |
Pls who knows how much 3 cups of garri will be by next year??
I'm worried ![]() |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Blessograo(f): 5:20am On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus:Be lying ooo, is it about you or a friend anyways my advice is tell the man you have a lady you have your eyes for and your family knows her already. Lobatan! |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 7:23am On Aug 22, 2016 |
supersystems:This might be true oh. We've done something together that has to do with money and I didn't disappoint him and lots of other things. I am a very honest person. Very very good at handling things. After telling my parents, my mom took interest and asked if I am dating the man's daughter, I said no. But her dad and I are friends. I really need to know what the man's motives are and the daughter's character. Physical appearance is not okay for me. I need to check other things. Thanks very much. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 7:32am On Aug 22, 2016 |
Blessograo:Stop talking like a crackhead. ![]() ![]() How are you sure I'm satisfied with her? More over, every relationship does not end in marriage. I am talking about a right girl who could possess lots of qualities I could settle down with. ![]() |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 3:13pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: Relationships where one has to prove points at twists and turns can be a great energy depelter.I'm not really into relationships i'm not excelling at it myself quite frankly . I hope you get it worked out ! |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 3:17pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
By the way DeeTus i have a lie thesedays when people try to set me up with a girl,i tell them i have someone else but becos of her schedule she doesn't have time to come around. Theseway i've learnt to free myself of entanglements.. I had to resort to this and i hope you can take a queue because people feel dissapointed when you turn them down and trust me they can act madly.My close buddy in Johannesburg has refused talking to me since he introduced a rich girl like that to me and i turned it turn.I've got others like this.. Try to turn the opportunities down but give it rational thought if its worth considering when your alone.. it's like an spontaneous answer to anything anyone asks me.the answer is NO whatever it is.. When my hea dis calm and my mind is clear i then can evaluate and think what anyone has said.. it's essential so one doesn't get ripped off.. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 3:59pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
supersystems: I see. The girl is obviously not my type. My sister and my elder brother did not support it. They said the man has some interior motives and may likely let me down when i need him the most. Marriage is a family thing and I don't want to let my family down especially my mom. The girl is okay but simply not my type. I have standards. Pretty face is not be-it-all. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 4:20pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: then its concluded.guess he's seeing you as a good money source for long term.i think ur his honeypot..if yu concede. ![]() |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 5:13pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
supersystems: lol. I know the kind of woman to settle down with. A woman who is ready to be with me when things go wrong as well. Not someone who will abandon me when things go wrong and run to her parents. Life is not rosy sometimes. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by FreshBoiy(m): 5:23pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: I don't get it? why exactly are you confused? You already said you don't like her, so whats there to be confused about? This is the third time what? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 5:42pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
FreshBoiy: Use your common sense. It's always nice to view things properly before making a decision so as to avoid mistakes. And this is utmost important. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 5:43pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: We all were schooled into this varsity all of us in our generation with this being said you need to be careful not to push it too faar.Sometimes we may exercise too much caution and mistrust people when there's absolutely no reasons to and we loose some relationships that would have being made-in-heaven be a bit more free,i've taken notice your threads tend to lean towards this mistrust perspective,i've delivered myself from it and simply hope for the best in relationships.It's all these clumsy thoughts that prevents us from establishing genuine relationships attimes not entirely that people are bad. Our perceptions and perspectives have been overly colored to react in the manner we react that reults in self preservation and mistrust. God help us sha in our quest for genuine and rock-solid relationships |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by FreshBoiy(m): 5:58pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: Look at this dummy! ![]() ![]() You apparently lack a huge chunk of common sense. Go read the line I highlighted again and ask yourself if what you typed is sensible enough. Now you even sound very confused..lol. What exactly are you viewing properly? You already asserted that you don't like the lady in question also stating the fact that she is pretty but not your "KIND" of girl. You went on to add an irrelevant detail of how the dad is stingy and always expecting you to foot the bills when you go out. Although you were not explicitly clear on whether the money you spend is on yourself or both of you. Whichever is the case the only positive thing you mentioned was her beauty and the fact that she is a graduate which isn't a good enough criteria to make an informed decision on getting married to her. So tell me why exactly are you confused? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 6:03pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
supersystems: Now disclaimer!! This man only calls me when he needed me and that is selfishness and it scares me a lot. So, I don't feel comfortable with what he told me. A truly friend will always keep in touch with you. I am not crazy. I know how to differentiate between real and fake attitude. I received a lot of training in school and i'm from a disciplined home. My dad is a very strict man while my mom is always considerate. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 6:43pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
FreshBoiy:The highlighted part of my post means you don't have to jump on something very quickly without having a critical view of it. "Action speaks louder than words." Try to comprehend well from my post. I am okay now. No longer confused. Lol! |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Blessograo(f): 6:49pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus:I'm a great crack head ooo besides I just gave you an excuse to give to the man, just lie that you have eyes for someone else and your family even knows her. |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by FreshBoiy(m): 6:49pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
DeeTus: I was referring to the highlighted part of your first post and not the second. Either way its a good thing your season of confusion is over. Congrats! ![]() ![]() |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 6:56pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
FreshBoiy: Thanks ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 7:16pm On Aug 22, 2016 |
Blessograo: Ok thanks. How's CN? Hope you are having fun there? |
Re: Guys, Please Advice Me! by Nobody: 12:30am On Aug 23, 2016 |
DeeTus: if i share my similar experience u will weep even as a guy.I knew from the onset but i believe allowing ppl make their judgements themselves.Thank Goodness u admit to wat u even knew yourself b4 now |
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