vizkiz:
Help yourself

MENZPRIDE:
Have you had a Heart 2 Heart chat with the girl?
Have you said no to the offer? Or you are scared of sounding Disrespectful?
Is there anything you might lose if you don't marry the girl?

SemuhleB:
To be honest (no offense) sounds like you are in it for material reasons (rich family etc) if you end up marrying this girl.

I mean we are no longer in the 1800s were we don't have a say in what we decide. You claim you don't like her and stinginess of her dad so why not decline? Afterall i thought you are even dating. What happened to your girlfriend?

You say her father is your friend? Are you her fathers age? Grow some balls and them him the truth unless you are planning to marry the girl for financial benefits as you are currently contemplating but just know Karma is real

DeeTus:


You got it all wrong. There are quite a number of reasons that made this man to think of me marrying his daughter which I wouldn't want to disclose here.

I discussed everything with my parents but my mom said she wants to see this girl personally while my dad didn't say anything.

It's not about money but a good home. So, they want to know whether this man is up to something or not.

[b]Of course, I do not see the girl as someone I could be with. [/b]Just because this is happening to me three times, so I was so apprehensive.

Also, you mustn't be the same age with a man to be his friend.

SemuhleB:


I think it all boils down to the bolder irrespective of what your friends motive is. You are not interested. Just tell him you originally found it difficult to tell him but you are not interested and you are seeing someone currently. His daughter deserves someone whose heart is open for her and unfortunately you are not the one.

Interesting to see that this "kind of arrangement" goes on till today. Apart from India i never knew it happens with other Africans too. Btw what does the gal think ? Does she want to marry you or is she being forced?

blackpanther25:
How old are you? You sound childish. Is it so difficult to say you not interested. For goodness sake to create a thread on this stupid ish when the solution is simple.

Would you like me to tell them on your behalf since you too much of a pucci to do it? Smh

DeeTus:
A friend of mine wants me to marry his daughter. This man is into medical while the daughter just graduated from the university.

I know the family pretty well having spent some time with them. But the problem is, I really don't like their daughter. She's pretty but not my kind of girl.

Another problem is this man is a little bit stingy. Infact, whenever we go out together, he will always want me to spend my own money.

I am really confused now because this is the third time. The other time was a grandmother and a man.

Any advice for me please?

DeeTus:
A friend of mine wants me to marry his daughter. This man is into medical while the daughter just graduated from the university.

I know the family pretty well having spent some time with them. But the problem is, I really don't like their daughter. She's pretty but not my kind of girl.

Another problem is this man is a little bit stingy. Infact, whenever we go out together, he will always want me to spend my own money.

I am really confused now because this is the third time. The other time was a grandmother and a man.

Any advice for me please?

supersystems:



I turned down quite a few proposals so i qualify to make a comment.

In all blunt honesty,[b]You have talents this guys believe will translate to wealth coupled with character that they will like their daughter to settle into.[/b]You may go out with the daughter for some time and find out you have some bright sparks and you're compatible contrary to your first glance opinion,the real issue why i rund far from this kind of arrangement is will you own your independence ? or will you be someon else's tool?

Thesedays if my liberty is threatened immediately i get running,your standards may differ though but take your time think it through...There maybe sumthin in it who knows..[b] Finally our mothers are fantastic in knowing a good from bad family.[/b]Your mum can tell her family.Their motives.Your future if u allow her see the girl.I think you should work on this....

Blessograo:
Be lying ooo, is it about you or a friend anyways my advice is tell the man you have a lady you have your eyes for and your family knows her already. Lobatan!

DeeTus:
This might be true oh. We've done something together that has to do with money and I didn't disappoint him and lots of other things. I am a very honest person. Very very good at handling things.

After telling my parents, my mom took interest and asked if I am dating the man's daughter, I said no. But her dad and I are friends.

I really need to know what the man's motives are and the daughter's character. Physical appearance is not okay for me. I need to check other things. Thanks very much.

supersystems:
By the way DeeTus i have a lie thesedays when people try to set me up with a girl,i tell them i have someone else but becos of her schedule she doesn't have time to come around. Theseway i've learnt to free myself of entanglements..

I had to resort to this and i hope you can take a queue because people feel dissapointed when you turn them down and trust me they can act madly.My close buddy in Johannesburg has refused talking to me since he introduced a rich girl like that to me and i turned it turn.I've got others like this..



Try to turn the opportunities down but give it rational thought if its worth considering when your alone.. it's like an spontaneous answer to anything anyone asks me.the answer is NO whatever it is..

When my hea dis calm and my mind is clear i then can evaluate and think what anyone has said.. it's essential so one doesn't get ripped off..

DeeTus:


I see. The girl is obviously not my type. My sister and my elder brother did not support it. They said the man has some interior motives and may likely let me down when i need him the most.

Marriage is a family thing and I don't want to let my family down especially my mom.

The girl is okay but simply not my type. I have standards. Pretty face is not be-it-all.

supersystems:


then its concluded.guess he's seeing you as a good money source for long term.i think ur his honeypot..if yu concede.

DeeTus:
A friend of mine wants me to marry his daughter. This man is into medical while the daughter just graduated from the university.

I know the family pretty well having spent some time with them. But the problem is, I really don't like their daughter. She's pretty but not my kind of girl.

Another problem is this man is a little bit stingy. Infact, whenever we go out together, he will always want me to spend my own money.

I am really confused now because this is the third time. The other time was a grandmother and a man.

Any advice for me please?

I don't get it? why exactly are you confused? You already said you don't like her, so whats there to be confused about?


This is the third time what?

FreshBoiy:

I don't get it? why exactly are you confused? You already said you don't like her, so whats there to be confused about?


This is the third time what?

DeeTus:


lol. I know the kind of woman to settle down with. A woman who is ready to be with me when things go wrong as well. Not someone who will abandon me when things go wrong and run to her parents. Life is not rosy sometimes.

DeeTus:


Use your common sense. It's always nice to view things properly before making a decision so as to avoid mistakes. And this is utmost important.

Look at this dummy! .

You apparently lack a huge chunk of common sense. Go read the line I highlighted again and ask yourself if what you typed is sensible enough.

Now you even sound very confused..lol. What exactly are you viewing properly? You already asserted that you don't like the lady in question also stating the fact that she is pretty but not your "KIND" of girl. You went on to add an irrelevant detail of how the dad is stingy and always expecting you to foot the bills when you go out. Although you were not explicitly clear on whether the money you spend is on yourself or both of you.

Whichever is the case the only positive thing you mentioned was her beauty and the fact that she is a graduate which isn't a good enough criteria to make an informed decision on getting married to her. So tell me why exactly are you confused?

supersystems:


We all were schooled into this varsity all of us in our generation with this being said you need to be careful not to push it too faar.Sometimes we may exercise too much caution and mistrust people when there's absolutely no reasons to and we loose some relationships that would have being made-in-heaven be a bit more free,i've taken notice your threads tend to lean towards this mistrust perspective,i've delivered myself from it and simply hope for the best in relationships.It's all these clumsy thoughts that prevents us from establishing genuine relationships attimes not entirely that people are bad. Our perceptions and perspectives have been overly colored to react in the manner we react that reults in self preservation and mistrust. God help us sha in our quest for genuine and rock-solid relationships

FreshBoiy:

Look at this dummy! .

You apparently lack a huge chunk of common sense. Go read the line I highlighted again and ask yourself if what you typed is sensible enough.

Now you even sound very confused..lol. What exactly are you viewing properly? You already asserted that you don't like the lady in question also stating the fact that she is pretty but not your "KIND" of girl. You went on to add an irrelevant detail of how the dad is stingy and always expecting you to foot the bills when you go out. Although you were not explicitly clear on whether the money you spend is on yourself or both of you.

Whichever is the case the only positive thing you mentioned was her beauty and the fact that she is a graduate which isn't a good enough criteria to make an informed decision on getting married to her. So tell me why exactly are you confused?

DeeTus:
Stop talking like a crackhead.

How are you sure I'm satisfied with her? More over, every relationship does not end in marriage. I am talking about a right girl who could possess lots of qualities I could settle down with.

DeeTus:

The highlighted part of my post means you don't have to jump on something very quickly without having a critical view of it.
"Action speaks louder than words."

Try to comprehend well from my post. I am okay now. No longer confused. Lol!

I was referring to the highlighted part of your first post and not the second. Either way its a good thing your season of confusion is over.

Congrats!

FreshBoiy:

I was referring to the highlighted part of your first post and not the second. Either way its a good thing your season of confusion is over.

Congrats!

Blessograo:

I'm a great crack head ooo besides I just gave you an excuse to give to the man, just lie that you have eyes for someone else and your family even knows her.

DeeTus:


Now disclaimer!!

This man only calls me when he needed me and that is selfishness and it scares me a lot. So, I don't feel comfortable with what he told me. A truly friend will always keep in touch with you.

I am not crazy. I know how to differentiate between real and fake attitude. I received a lot of training in school and i'm from a disciplined home. My dad is a very strict man while my mom is always considerate.