After my very dangerous,tumultuous,exasperating,energy-sapping,destiny-altering,life-threatening and prison-like relationship with Maria,l turned into a gamophobic somebody. Hence,l avoided any form of commitment like it gives ebola.


I put on the garb of side nigga and became cassonova extraordinarie. With this role no form of responsibility whatsoever was expected of the brother. My duty was pretty simple - just be the caretaker when the landlord is not around.


Although,in the course of performing this duty some of these lovelies cross the line and become too pessessive,clingy and lovey-dovey awakening the gamophobe in the brother in process. Well,you all can predict my reaction. Emotions get hurt,but reasons bring them back to reality and make them acknowledge, ''he was just a side nigga,l wasn't expecting him to propose anyway'',then everyone moves on.

It was all fun until Claire came into the picture. Now everything's changed.

Speak to express not to impress.
This is the same kind of thing that made Edo people pursue Hon. Patrick Obiagon as speaker. So talk well Beforw them pursue you from here

Hmmm

optimusmind:
Speak to express not to impress.
This is the same kind of thing that made Edo people pursue Hon. Patrick Obiagon as speaker. So talk well Beforw them pursue you from here

hahahaha.
Sorry man. It wasn't to impress though,just for effects. I will tune it down.

Thebachelor:
After my very dangerous,tumultuous,exasperating,energy-sapping,destiny-altering,life-threatening and prison-like relationship with Maria,l turned into a gamophobic somebody. Hence,l avoided any form of commitment like it gives ebola.

Couldn't manage reading beyond this, you're funny

So it all started on the 28th of June(this year) at about 4:25pm. I went to a supermarket in town to buy my regular four pack of black bullet. I saw her shopping on the other end. She was standing about 6ft tall,dark skin with her boobs and butt the only parts of her body with fat - just my specification. I was attracted,and at that point l contemplated advancing her. But experience has shown me many times that most girls are overly friendly when you approach them while shopping. You can't just tell whether they are feeling the brother or they just want you to pick the bills. In other to avoid that confusion,l decided to go with my second thought and position outside for her.....

jagugu88li:




Couldn't manage reading beyond this, you're funny

Oh,read beyond it because at the end my tale l want to know if l was wrong. I will need your opinion.

optimusmind:
Speak to express not to impress.
This is the same kind of thing that made Edo people pursue Hon. Patrick Obiagon as speaker. So talk well Beforw them pursue you from here

honestly I tot he wuz reciting a poem sef

From my dug out,l quickly burst open one bullet and gun shot the whole thing. The motive was to put my confidence level at full bar when she comes out. Sprayed my mouth with some mouth wash and waited patiently like l was on ATM queue. Few minutes later,she strolled casually from the shop like she didnt know a gentleman was waiting. I prep myself up for the assault. As she was about to flag down a cab,l tickled her from behind...

She was startled. She couldn't figure whether l was a face she knew or not and that was the idea.
But that bold move made her relaxed and we got talking like we were familiar,and l got her laughing real hard. I dropped some couple of more lines and had her revealing(unknowingly) some details to me. After some few more compliments,l said goodbye to her and left. She expected me to ask her for her number,that's what an everyday guy would do. But l didn't,l knew better. Already,from our little chit-chat l knew how to find her,and where...

Following.


I like guys who got game.

So on the 1st July,really looking cool(and smelling good too) with a black hugging tee,blue jean and a moccassin,l headed out with Claire house as my destination. I got to Claire's area(knew the place from her revelations) and described her to two or three people and l was lead to her door - CIA style.
On getting there l could hear her voice from her room. I knocked,after some ''who's that?''
''it's a friend''
some girl opened the door.
''hi,l'm thebachelor. I'm here to see Claire''

SafeDavid:
Following.


I like guys who got game.

are you sure you are ready to ride this one out bro? The interesting parts are still posts ahead.

Thebachelor:
So on the 1st July,really looking cool(and smelling good too) with a black hugging tee,blue jean and a moccassin,l headed out with Claire house as my destination. I got to Claire's area(knew the place from her revelations) and described her to two or three people and l was lead to her door - CIA style.
On getting there l could hear her voice from her room. I knocked,after some ''who's that?''
''it's a friend''
some girl opened the door.
''hi,l'm thebachelor. I'm here to see Claire''

cúm and update sharpally.
nice write up.

Thebachelor:


are you sure you are ready to ride this one out bro? The interesting parts are still posts ahead.

I'm with you all the way bro.

Claire came to the door to see who it was and once more,was startled.
I went witty,''sorry l didn't call before l came. You forgot to give me your number the last time.''
She was still staring at me like a ghost then managed to utter,''how did you know where l stay?''
''google search'',l replied.
''l'm serious''
l just gave her another witty remark and asked her to come take a walk with me. She requested l come in,but l declined. Reason? It will be useless and awkward going in with all her friends in there. I've learnt from experience it isn't a good move. The odds will always be against the brother.
So she quickly changed up and came out to take a walk with me.

SafeDavid:

I'm with you all the way bro.

ERUDITEE:
cúm and update sharpally. nice write up.

SafeDavid:

I'm with you all the way bro.

Correct men,na the ginger be this.

So we took a walk and talked about variety of things.
Can't recall what l said again but she told me she's got a boyfriend. I wasn't surprised though. I mean,these days every girl's got a boyfriend.
On the contrary,l was very cool with it. That's the only way l can be a side nigga.
She asked about my status,and l told her l was single and happy(which was the truth).
She gave me an incredulous look and asked why a cute guy like me will be single.
I told her it's because l'm gamophobic.
She laughed it off and said that's a new one. According to her,most dudes will usually say they just broke up with their girl or their girl travelled bla...bla..bla....
We talked a little more,exchanged numbers and agreed to keep in touch. Then we parted.

Gentlemen,before l proceed please take note of some moves l made,they could be useful.

I didn't say ''hello'' or ''excuse me'' when l met her. These words are just too common and banal. They only make a lady raise her defenses.
Rather,l tickled her..... A bold move that startles and surprises. It raises her curiosity and brings down her defenses.

Next,l didn't ask for her number on the first encounter... They always expect every guy to do that after every first encounter. Defy that expectation,dont be like every guy. Except there's a possibility that you may never meet her again.

Let me pause here. I will continue with the tale tomorrow. It's about to get twisted and interesting.

Thebachelor:
Gentlemen,before l proceed please take note of some moves l made,they could be useful.
I didn't say ''hello'' or ''excuse me'' when l met her. These words are just too common and banal. They only make a lady raise her defenses.
Rather,l tickled her..... A bold move that startles and surprises. It raises her curiosity and brings down her defenses.
Next,l didn't ask for her number on the first encounter... They always expect every guy to do that after every first encounter. Defy that expectation,dont be like every guy. Except there's a possibility that you may never meet her again.
Let me pause here. I will continue with the tale tomorrow. It's about to get twisted and interesting.

You're so on point.
Only real Playboy's would understand you.
Unfortunately , I'm retiring.

Very interesting.

Initially, when I saw Patrick Obiagbon kind of grammar, I almost stopped there, thinking the op just came to showcase some his newly learnt English words

But now I find the story quite interesting


Ride on bro. Gladly following

Lol. You good men

The odds are in your favour thus far... Good write up op

optimusmind:
Speak to express not to impress.
This is the same kind of thing that made Edo people pursue Hon. Patrick Obiagon as speaker. So talk well Beforw them pursue you from here

Looool...


No mind am...
Make he dey write rubbish

following

Thebachelor:
Gentlemen,before l proceed please take note of some moves l made,they could be useful.

I didn't say ''hello'' or ''excuse me'' when l met her. These words are just too common and banal. They only make a lady raise her defenses.
Rather,l tickled her..... A bold move that startles and surprises. It raises her curiosity and brings down her defenses.

Next,l didn't ask for her number on the first encounter... They always expect every guy to do that after every first encounter. Defy that expectation,dont be like every guy. Except there's a possibility that you may never meet her again.

Let me pause here. I will continue with the tale tomorrow. It's about to get twisted and interesting.

for me that's a wrong move to tickle a lady u don't kn I call dat an air of arrogance,do u even know her state of mind at dat moment?not every1 love dis new skool madness some still prefer d old skool way.

I was here

avril9:
for me that's a wrong move to tickle a lady u don't kn I call dat an air of arrogance,do u even know her state of mind at dat moment?not every1 love dis new skool madness some still prefer d old skool way.

90% of ladies prefer the New Skool way.. This one major factor Those Decent/God fearing guys don't posses

optimusmind:
Speak to express not to impress.
This is the same kind of thing that made Edo people pursue Hon. Patrick Obiagon as speaker. So talk well Beforw them pursue you from here

you talked sense into him.. glad he retraced his step... they form Hard nigur

Efewestern:


90% of ladies prefer the New Skool way.. This one major factor Those Decent/God fearing guys don't posses

so its totally ok to tickle a stranger because u tink shez new skool and wud want to be wooed like dat? Now I see y relationship\marriage is taking a dive Negatively. Pls adjust ur 90% cos I tell u there r still women who don't love d new skool way. For me body part is scared try touching it(wen I didn't give my permission or on a first meeting) n get d slap of ur life.

avril9:
for me that's a wrong move to tickle a lady u don't kn I call dat an air of arrogance,do u even know her state of mind at dat moment?not every1 love dis new skool madness some still prefer d old skool way.

You've got a point there but for me, I wouldn't tickle a stranger but who knows. Perhaps they've exchanged a couple of glance while shopping or something.
I'm sure Op has a better explanation as to why he made that move.

avril9:
so its totally ok to tickle a stranger because u tink shez new skool and wud want to be wooed like dat? Now I see y relationship\marriage is taking a dive Negatively. Pls adjust ur 90% cos I tell u there r still women who don't love d new skool way. For me body part is scared try touching it(wen I didn't give my permission or on a first meeting) n get d slap of ur life.

hehehehe @ slap of ur life