CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

h*a*a*a*a this quality of a very bad fellow......ve u eva tot of it dat, dat guy may grow up to b great nd b 1 2 take care of ur kids?? Comon treat every1 u meet on ur way in life well

Alexgeneration:
. How does staying with one's in-law connotes "involve into their private affairs? From the OP's complain,the guy is not interfering in their private life.Rather, all I can deduce from her is that she wants to turn the guy to a househelp just because he is "eating her food" and "staying in her house".Will she make such complains if the guy is from her side of the family?

Guy I'm beginning to suspect you. It's like you are a freeloader..eating another person's work as if ur father provided the money. You better change and stop supporting nonsense. If someone is accommodating you, it is expected as a well brought up child with good home training that you show gratitude and appreciation by pulling ur weight and adding value to that family.

Not crossing leg and relaxing like a governor without a constituency.

op is too nice sha.
them never born the bastard that will grow wings in my house.

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

Woman jidem there! Sit down jere! I stayed with my brother before he married, during his courtship and after he married i lived with them for 3years! Its not a crime for relatives to stay with u in ur husband's house except you have something to hide or ur character get k-leg. I mind my business in the house and because the wife is now arnd i dint stop waht i used to do b4 her arrival na she dey come meet me say make i no worry bt i resist it. My room is next to theirs and its not my problem if they're making love, its their house and i'm a visitor with expiry date so i mind my freaking business lyk nothing happened. Of all my brothers' wives she's my favorite and wheneva she sees me she treats me well beta than her husband (who always gets jelous #lol). So madam, presence of ur relatives in ur home is not a crime/death sentence if u sef no get security issues/hidden agenda.

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

judging without evidence. 3 sides of every story - your part, my part and the truth.

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

bad wife is wat u will be, just because u think u are ahead of him today and not doing ur biding u will make his life miserable, don't forget u do wrong to others Even God and they not make ur life miserable, lean to accommodate any body dt come ur way

jhydebaba:
So after reporting to your hubby, he did nothing. You now reported to nairaland make we beat am abi You must be kidding me.

The time you are wasting here is enough for you to do your chores. Abeg! Enter kitchen go wash your plate.


You called him a glutton, make he no eat again Abeg, free the guy joor. Abi your husband dey complain say he no fit drop money again.


I know if the boy were to be from your family, you won't be here.

Guy, see ehn! Look my mouth, say after me, 'Funther', say 'Funther' again....ehen, na dat Funther go fire u! heheheehehehehehehehe!

Hahaha! U no get conscience at al! Na d guy marry her as cook too abi? Abi na him dey buy d ffood? Receive brain..

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

If he's your brother will do all these you recommended?

Alexgeneration:
. How does staying with one's in-law connotes "involve into their private affairs? From the OP's complain,the guy is not interfering in their private life.Rather, all I can deduce from her is that she wants to turn the guy to a househelp just because he is "eating her food" and "staying in her house".Will she make such complains if the guy is from her side of the family?

Yes!!!! she will make such complain, infact, am sure if this guy were to be ops brother, she wouldn't be here discussing the matter with us, she would have dealt with his silly ass and even the guy head for don correct since but, since the guy is from the Hubby's side, I think that is why op seems to be helpless. I feel her pain tho

fellis:
Is the boy an id!ot?

How can a jobless person be complaining about the food he is given while living under another persons roof and not even doing anything to assist in the house, my God people like that irritate me. What does he think he is? A king that came to your house to be pampered? At least he should help with something to show you and your husband gratitude for taking care of him instead of just sitting around from morning till evening asking for more food.

What a lousy human being.

OP next time you and he and your husband eat on the same table or in the same room make sure you pile his plate of food very high to like twice or three times the amount you give your husband, if your husband says its too much tell him politely the boy is always complaining that you don't give him enough food so you want to make sure you serve him enough henceforth.

Do it like four times in the presence of your husband and unless he is a millionaire that has money to throw away he will call the boy and caution him on his eating habits.

If he's your brother will do all these you recommended?[color=#006600][/color]

It is a shame how men are not helping the younger men grow up to be responsible. Why allow your wife to be treated like shit in her own house? Many of the twisted men talking down on this woman would be the first to cry blood if their wife's brother does this type of shit to them.
You think being a wife and mother is easy? Why not sit at home and do the easy chores and,let your wife go do that very difficult work outside the home?
Anyway, I blame the Op for seeking advice on Nl where most of the people are kids in their teenage years. Who are happy to be lazy and believe marriage is for women to do as they are told and not complain.
Op, go seek advice from some mature person who you trust abeg.

CrazyQuinn:
if your husband is complaining, why doesn't he kick him out of the house

Why are you so interested in " kicking" the guy out since. I ve read comments by two female here and they offered better advice a virtuous woman is expected to give. Do you have idea of the relationship between the lady' hubby and the guy' father? do you know the kind of help the hubby has gotten from the guy' father in the past? I fear your type of woman oo..shuoo

woman cool down dat guy would one day assist u quote author=CrazyQuinn post=48651059] cool your temper for how long is he staying?[/quote]

ststyreal:

Which kain yeye in-law be that wey go come dey give me headache for my house? Abeg if na my sister or brother, I for don pursue am sinceeeee, because no body go query me for that one, patapata na vex my parents go vex and soonest dem go forget am, but you see all these in-laws, I dey run for them no be small. Dem sabi scatter peaceful home with their silly attitude. So op, if the guy dey give you headache, sit am down, make you give am your rules and regulation wey him go take stay with you and if he refuses to adhere to your rules and regulations, tell am say two master no dey rock one boat, na my own I talk so, full stop....

You funny die. Sit am down ...give am rules and regulation like say na small picking. Maybe the boy and op na age group sef...u no know

CrazyQuinn:
wow, the guy has no right to stay for that long what happened to privacy? Is he leaving soon? If not, complain to your husband and tell him your mind, if he doesn't listen, keep complaining to your husband until he tell the guy to leave. It's not right

Bad adviser...you can't be a good wife I swear.if the boy had been from the lady's family,how will you advise her

Rossy99:
even to wash plates he use to eat.

This is very annoying

Rossy99:
he has bin staying for 1 nd half yr nw nd for how long,i dnt knw

Hmmnn? A year and gini? Lailai, jah knows I won't allow such live in family members in the early days of my marriage.

balatukur:
bad wife is wat u will be, just because u think u are ahead of him today and not doing ur biding u will make his life miserable, don't forget u do wrong to others Even God and they not make ur life miserable, lean to accommodate any body dt come ur way

Gbam! by their comments ' we shall know them' I am not supporting the guy' attitude but the way some of the ladies here have been pushing the OP to kick the guy out shows they wu make a bad wife if not one already

CrazyQuinn:
how can you allow your in law to stay with you for a year? There will be no privacy and he will be involved into their private affairs. Would you like your in-law to be involved with you and your wife's private affairs. So what's the point of getting married then

Sharap there. How do you know if the boy is just a kid, like under fifteen years. Don't get that young lady hardened. All you being saying are senseless. Let others advice her.

Freiden:

You funny die. Sit am down ...give am rules and regulation like say na small picking. Maybe the boy and op na age group sef...u no know

If the boy like, make him senior me hundred times, e no concern me, since him no no the right thing to do, I go teach am nawwww, abi, wetin you say make I do. If him go continue to dey stay with me, I go tell am wetin him go dey do for the house and if him refuse, na to show am say, na me get my house, person no go poor come add witch join nam for me. I don tell you wetin me go fit do. Seniority no dey for this one. Respect is reciprocal and if person behave like a child you treat am like a child. Na my own I talk so, full stop.......

Rossy99:
An undergraduate of polytechnic staying with us is growing wings. He doesn't help in domestic chores when hubby is away, he does when hubby is around, he Waits for us to tell him what to do before he does it and he is really making me angry which i hate to be.

When i report him to hubby, he won't do anything or even chastise him instead he complaints whenever i give him food that his food is too small. I'm not a bad type to give him little food cos i have conscience and it disturbs me wen i do bad but he is a glutton that only eats and sleeps without doing anything even to wash plates he use to eat.

What do i do?

do nothing. He may have some personal uglies but be thankful to God that you and ur hubby have the wherewithal to house,feed,give water,etc to someone..u are doing it to God and laying treasures for ur children,be careful. If you react and things go wrong and he leaves, God will repay u o..

balatukur:
wash dishes and fetch water rights? don't u think dt is ur work? don't expect any body to do ur work cos wen u do and he failed to u will always complain on ur own failure

Even when she's pregnant?so you can live with a pregnant woman and watch her do these kind of chores without helping?

greatgod2012:





ko le to yen!
This life is very simple!
And the world is a global village.

He needs your help now doesn't mean you can't need his help in the future.

It may even be your children that he will render help to in the nearest future.

We shouldn't use today to destroy our tomorrow.

Instead of making life miserable to him, speak out your mind to him, ask him if he too can accept what he's doing to you from another person. Not with screaming or cursing or throwing tantrums but maturely and patiently.


Remember, nobody is totally bad!

I used to live with my brother and his wife, she treated me very badly. At a point, a friend of my bro and his fianncee joined us. This bastard of a wife chose total stranger over me! She forgot that, if sitaution of things go bad, the strangers would leave, and it going to remain me and her. Now, my bro has divorced her. Whenever she sees me , she finds it difficult to look me in the eyes. She no longer has confidence to report my bro to my mother and i, like she used to do when wheneve she had misunderstanding with bro. The moral of the story is that, never be mean to inlaws. You never know, they might be useful to you in future.

Rossy99:
Yes,he informed me wen d boy was coming nd i approve it but i was not inform dt he wud stay long,wat i was told was dt he jst got admission nd wud stay wit us till he find accomodation.it was later dt he had settle down dt i got to knw dt he wud b staying 2ruout his prog and dt was not even a prob to me though i don't stay at home for long den,i do travel most weekdays to supervise my project in d neighbouring town b4 i later finish it nd hardly travel out of town again .we get along well atfirst but after going for semester break nd coming back he change totally.

This can be annoying! I have stayed with people before. I do extra things to compensate them. I know they are helping me. I know I may inconvenient them. I tried to be careful and considerate. I did things to please them.
The boy is not well trained at home. Let your hubby know that you are not happy. Let the boy's parents know what is happening. How can you fetch water for him to use?
Just use your mouth to talk.

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

. Ur name says it all. Na una type dey pray to marry man wey nor get mama again.lol

Women will always device a way of creating problems where they are not... Ur husband is not cheating on u,,, ur hubby dnt beat u and he sponsor all the expenses in d house and everything. Is that little boy u found fault with. What did he do to u that u cannot let him be in dat house. Are you a lazy house wife that u can't wash plates and other house chore. What is wrong with u people ... If he is ur blood brother would u have complained anything.

oyetunji12:
h*a*a*a*a this quality of a very bad fellow......ve u eva tot of it dat, dat guy may grow up to b great nd b 1 2 take care of ur kids?? Comon treat every1 u meet on ur way in life well

Her name says it all crazy queen,na one man go carry her put for house now.may this type no come ur way Oyetunji

OP

Don't be carried away by the erroneous propaganda that it is because you are a woman, you don't want to see your in laws, you shouldn't want privacy, if it is your brother, wont you endure, bla bla bla. Me I don't blame you.

You have every right to want your privacy.
1. Your husband can go out all day if he wants and avoids the visitor. As such, he is still living his life.
You are the one stuck at home, with the boy's shitty attitude.

2. The boy sees you as a lesser being, so why should you happily cater to someone who does not appreciate your little efforts? Even our father in heaven wants us to thank him for his mercies. How much more we humans?
Is it too much to say: Aunty, thank you for this meal. Then go to the kichen and wash his plate?

3. The boy obviously lacks both home training and empathy. I remember then, I just graduated and visited an uncle of mine. I would sweep, wash and help babysit. I saw the kids cloths soaked and washed them. Because I can't sit and watch my uncle's wife slaving and not help her.
It was when I saw they wanted to defeat my purpose of job-hunting by stopping me from going to the cafe to apply and instead baby sit, that I now left their house quietly.

Hear me. MEN ARE EVEN WORSE, WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR IN LAWS STAYING.
That is when you hear:"But I just bought Milk. How come its finished". "Haaaaaa, soup finished. Again?"
Sometimes, they will even disappear without food in the house.
Making you feel like your sibling has finished consuming all the food in the house.

Before you know it, they start carrying face, staying out late or misbehaving till your sibling finds his/her square root.
Even you sef can be the one to tell your sibling: "Can you see how my husband is behaving, please it seems like you will go home for now".
And your sibling will go without grudges as he/she wants your home to work.
Meanwhile your sibling 99% of the time would assist with chores, unlike his sibling who is coming to give you more work to do and probably spy on the house to go back and tell his people.

greatgod2012:





ko le to yen!
This life is very simple!
And the world is a global village.

He needs your help now doesn't mean you can't need his help in the future.

It may even be your children that he will render help to in the nearest future.

We shouldn't use today to destroy our tomorrow.

Instead of making life miserable to him, speak out your mind to him, ask him if he too can accept what he's doing to you from another person. Not with screaming or cursing or throwing tantrums but maturely and patiently.


Remember, nobody is totally bad!

you really talk sense,people like you are very rear,I like this your habit.

CrazyQuinn:
can you imagine the rubbish if I were you I would make his life miserable until he leaves

Would u make ur brother's life miserable the same way? Some women nd their evil mentality shaa

Taryur3:

Bad adviser...you can't be a good wife I swear.if the boy had been from the lady's family,how will you advise her

If he was from her family, she would do with him as she pleases until he changes his attitude. She can cut allawee, sieze DVD or switch off tv, not dish his food if he doesn't wash his plates etc Just like you can deal with your younger siblings if they are behaving badly. She can send them back to mom and dad if they fail to obey her rules. Can she do same to that boy without people like you calling her a wicked woman?

As a man, how happy would you be if you fetch water while your wife's brother is there watching tv even when he sees you doing the fetching only for him to stand up and use the water? And this type of thing goes on for a year plus..... 365 days and counting. And when you complain people say.... what if he wasn't living with you, won't you fetch your water? Isn't that pure wickedness?
Now I know why most women kick against bringing in people. Cod of the mentality of many men towards their wives and women in general. Not saying all wives are angels, but we need to stop and listen to people and reason with them when they complain. As the man of the house, Set the rules in your home. Let those coming in know what is expected of them. That way, they do as agreed or they move out if they can't cope with your rules. So they do not see your wife as imposing on them. Make them know how important she is and they would not mess with her.

Rossy99:
Am even ready to accomodate him cos i knw his family is not financially buoyant to get accomodation for him while still in skul,i expect him not go beyond his limit but he refuse.he is not d 1st person dt wud stay wit us.He is now causing division btw i nd hubby cos dey see me as d bad person,wen he want to get money frm hubby he wait till am out or go to meet him at d gate,is not that i do ask him not to give him.even wen he see dt i av wash all d dirty dishes in d kitchen,is he not suppose to wash d one he jst used in eating,he drop it nd i still go to wash it without saying anytin.i dnt knw wat he expect me to do again.he see me as a subordinate dat can't authorise him to do anytin

what if the guy does nt live with u, who will wash those plates and sweep..? Try to bear ur cross, and do ur things by urself, (ignore him, nt malice ohh).. when he finally leaves the house u wnt feel his absence, since he does nthng...u wnt be there when he will be pouring those lies, how u treated hm badly bla bla bla u will nt be dia.. Lastly u can also invent this 'rule' wash ur plate(s) after eating except ur hubby ohh..those days for mai mama house dem no born u well eat finish, drop plate/dishes, u must wash and rinse them in the sink, immediately..make u sef set sme standard..#wecanthelp u control ur hme.. U can also say uncle, so so pls help me do ths..he wnt refuse, be friendly.