my wife and i have been married for 2 years and she has never thought of the work she will be doing to support the family.
she was very hardworking before we married. she is learning hair dressing and still does petty trading in the evening. after she is done with hairdressing, God blessed me and we moved from lagos to my own personal house in ogun state.
i built a shop in front of the house for her hairdressing but she complained it wont work cus there are few houses around here and the area is just developing.
i also suggested selling provision but she said "NOTHING WILL SELL IN THIS BUSH U BROUGHT ME".
she prefer to just sit at home and do house cores and watch tv. now am fed up. how do i deal with her to make her start something or any business idea on what business one can do in a just developing area

You can't force a horse to drink some water man, you just can't. Enjoy the house though. Its a blessing. Cue>> sarcasm

Do your best and meet your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Otherwise, resign and try doing the chores let's see if she won't be out there trying to fend for the family. House chores are not easy to do, if kids are involved then you should have to tone it down. She is playing her traditional roles, you are the one not taking yours in stride.


You have to breach this topic with consideration and not make it appear like she is the lazy one. Being a house wife is no easy job for those without house helps. If the environment is really dead like she said then you will have to introduce her to a business she can run online.

ABJDOT:
ok

give advice and stop booking space

byvan03:
Do your best and meet your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Otherwise, resign and try doing the chores let's see if she won't be out there trying to fend for the family. House chores are not easy to do, if kids are involved then you should have to tone it down. She is playing her traditional roles, you are the one not taking yours in stride.


You have to breach this topic with consideration and not make it appear like she is the lazy one. Being a house wife is no easy job for those without house helps. If the environment is really dead like she said then you will have to introduce her to a business she can run online.

i built a shop in front of the house to reduce stress while taking care of my baby.
advice me on the kinda business she can run online

AccidentalGenius:
You can't force a horse to drink some water man, you just can't. Enjoy the house though. Its a blessing. Cue>> sarcasm

she is not the lazy type.

cc: lalasticlala

byvan03:
Do your best and meet your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Otherwise, resign and try doing the chores let's see if she won't be out there trying to fend for the family. House chores are not easy to do, if kids are involved then you should have to tone it down. She is playing her traditional roles, you are the one not taking yours in stride.


You have to breach this topic with consideration and not make it appear like she is the lazy one. Being a house wife is no easy job for those without house helps. If the environment is really dead like she said then you will have to introduce her to a business she can run online.

be honest with yourself, She's lazy. Thats obvious. There's nothing he's doing wrong! Jeez!!! Nigga, your wife needs some tough love! You tell her to get busy! Unless you're cool with some dead weight lazy ass wife.

gabazin080:
she is not the lazy type.

cc: lalasticlala

you built her a shop. She says you brought her to a bush, nothing will work. Thats an excuse. I bet if you set up a shop outside that bush she'll still find another excuse. LAZY

gabazin080:
i built a shop in front of the house to reduce stress while taking care of my baby.
advice me on the kinda business she can run online

Is the baby of school age? If the child isn't of school age you might need to cut her some slack . Try caring for that child just for a day, maybe you might approach things differently afterwards. Move this issue to family section.

Go to Nairaland fashion, business and investment sections and check what others are doing. How old is your child?

byvan03:



Is the baby of school age? If the child isn't of school age you might need to cut her some slack . Try caring for that child just for a day, maybe you might approach things differently afterwards. Move this issue to family section.

Go to Nairaland fashion, business and investment sections and check what others are doing. How old is your child?

just a year old boy. any advice?

gabazin080:
my wife and i have been married for 2 years and she has never thought of the work she will be doing to support the family.
she was very hardworking before we married. she is learning hair dressing and still does petty trading in the evening. after she is done with hairdressing, God blessed me and we moved from lagos to my own personal house in ogun state.
i built a shop in front of the house for her hairdressing but she complained it wont work cus there are few houses around here and the area is just developing.
i also suggested selling provision but she said "NOTHING WILL SELL IN THIS BUSH U BROUGHT ME".
she prefer to just sit at home and do house cores and watch tv. now am fed up. how do i deal with her to make her start something or any business idea on what business one can do in a just developing area

what an ungrateful lady

Chei.. well stop paying for cable and try as much as possible not to let the house comfortable for her during the day time. that should make her think of how to make good use of her day-time.

gabazin080:
just a year old boy. any advice?

I doubt a year old is in school yet, cut that woman some slack. Child care + chores are not easy to handle. There is a reason why nannies are well paid in saner climates. The provision store you want her to run, how much do you think it will yield as profit on daily basis considering that the area is a bush like she told? Rent the shop for a year if you need money that badly or send your child to daycare and free her schedule. Have you spent a whole day alone with a one year old before? If you had, you won't be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Try doing house chores and babysitting, let's see if you won't be more lazy.


Give her till the kid starts schooling, not everyone is ready to stress to death in the name of supporting spouse. Do your duties as much as you can for now and let the rest be. She will eventually get her groove back, if only you will stop stressing the matter.

She was not ready to leave lagos when she did. Nevertheless, its not an excuse for mediocrity. Many women would give the whole world for their husband to buid them a house and attach a shop for their use to it. Guess she's not really ready to grow up. Or didn't you put her in all your relocation ideas before hand?



This is a case of someone with yam, no knife. Someone with knife, no yam.
Be patient.

Taking care of the home while managing a shop at the front of the house is not a big deal.


Although it seems the area you live is still developing but she should make an effort to start something.

All the best

for every action like this one,there is always a hidden reason!wassup with her family members and friends?seems she has someone pushing her invisibly 2b strong headed,so as to make u uncomfortable and dance to her tune...there is somethin she wants,and when she eventually puts u in a tight corner,u av no reason not to oblige her.mayb u also consider buying provisions 4d shop on ur own accord,and open it down when u closes from work.Nairalanders dont easily leave one of their own 2 suffer.*peace*

byvan03:
Do your best and meet your responsibilities to the best of your abilities. Otherwise, resign and try doing the chores let's see if she won't be out there trying to fend for the family. House chores are not easy to do, if kids are involved then you should have to tone it down. She is playing her traditional roles, you are the one not taking yours in stride.


You have to breach this topic with consideration and not make it appear like she is the lazy one. Being a house wife is no easy job for those without house helps. If the environment is really dead like she said then you will have to introduce her to a business she can run online.

i remember vividly that my mum combined schooling,working Nd taking Care of the homefront all at once,and this she did ,2d the best of her ability...if its about the house chores,kids and the shop..then she has no point....women this days even carry babies 2d offices,not to talk of shop situated in front of ur house and owned by ur hubby.

GoldenJAT:
i remember vividly that my mum combined schooling,working Nd taking Care of the homefront all at once,and this she did ,2d the best of her ability...if its about the house chores,kids and the shop..then she has no point....women this days even carry babies 2d offices,not to talk of shop situated in front of ur house and owned by ur hubby.

Double post.

GoldenJAT:
i remember vividly that my mum combined schooling,working Nd taking Care of the homefront all at once,and this she did ,2d the best of her ability...if its about the house chores,kids and the shop..then she has no point....women this days even carry babies 2d offices,not to talk of shop situated in front of ur house and owned by ur hubby.

OP's wife is not your mum, not every one is ready for excessive stress. The amount of stress you described above can be health damning for someone who is forced into it. Everyone cannot operate on the same efficiency level.

Have you asked this woman what she is interested in doing, or you assumed that your shop must work for her?

Take her to ur place of work..wen una come back u pple should share d work..or trade places..u stay for House let her go to ur work...but does she af a degree she should look for wyte collar jobs if she doesn't want shop..but dat hairdressing for favour her..cuz dose lil neighbours wil patronise her well as it will be jxt her salon dere...

She is feeling too comfortable. Hhmmm
She needs a challenging atmosphere.
Op.... God help u handle ds wt ur wife

freshcvvs:
Chei.. well stop paying for cable and try as much as possible not to let the house comfortable for her during the day time. that should make her think of how to make good use of her day-time.

thank you man

veave:
She was not ready to leave lagos when she did. Nevertheless, its not an excuse for mediocrity. Many women would give the whole world for their husband to buid them a house and attach a shop for their use to it. Guess she's not really ready to grow up. Or didn't you put her in all your relocation ideas before hand?



This is a case of someone with yam, no knife. Someone with knife, no yam.
Be patient.

am running out of patience

byvan03:
Have you asked this woman what she is interested in doing, or you assumed that your shop must work for her?

have asked her several times and seems she is not ready to do anything in that area

gabazin080:
thank you man

I hope you will remember to thank these people when you finally end up divorced. you think she is being lazy because she said business wouldn't move in your area, well start the shop for her anyway and watch how your money grows or goes to waste if she is right.

simple stay home with her

@op mr gabazin080 I believe your wife is unhappy @leaving lag. Also she doesn't want to 'waste her time'

It seems you want a housewife but a working class housewife, baba it can't work.

Unless you're willing to allow her open a business in a better more populated area then leave her @ home to do chores and watch tv.

Even in my area a woman opened a provision store and aside the 4/5 houses here she makes no sales...is that a business?

Location is important to a biz, look for a store close to your house with better commercial value and i'm sure she'd be more open to it...


Attachment : curious question...the relocation to ogun state was it a mutual decision? Was she aware this was part of the plan when marrying you?

Cos mehn many of us in lag can't imagine living in other states, I know people who own houses(s) in ikorodu but are living as tenants @ surulere. Some pple squat on the island when they could live comfortably @ their homes on the mainland.

Your wife might even be unhappy in this marriage, I suggest u find time to have a heart-2-heart with her...cos be like u be General 4 house lol

gabazin080:
am running out of patience

The more reason why she should start selling now since the area is developing. Her shop would expand as people keep moving in.

veave:




The more reason why she should start selling now since the area is developing. Her shop would expand as people keep moving in.

i told her about this. the area is growing fast and she wil be the first doing any business she choose in the area and newcomers would be discouraged to do such biz, so she would have no or less competition