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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids (8900 Views)
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Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 9:40am On Sep 01, 2016 |
I am a married man with three children under the age of 8yrs. We have been married for 9 years. I am faithful and have never cheated. My mother-in-law and I never agree because of her wayward way of life. She has encouraged my wife to have adulterous relationships. My mother-in-law abandoned her kids when my wife was about rounding up SSCE. When I met my wife she had no idea where her mum was. After we started dating she finally reunited with her mum. She used to be close with her Dad, now she views her Dad as the worst human being on earth and the mother as the only person important in her life. She has repeatedly abandoned me and the children just to be with her for months at a time. January 2016, my mother-in-law told me she will make my marriage to her daughter come to an end, and she does not care what she does to make it happen. She said she does not know what she has gained from the marriage. She said we have neither bought her a car no built her a house. My parents, elders, my wife's father etc have begged her but she insists as long as she is concerned, it is over. My wife listens to only her mother and no one else. My wife has filed for divorce even though she does not have any steady form of income but she does not care. She's expecting to get at least a house and child support to sustain her. Note, my mother-in-law has no steady source of income either. She depends on my wife for rent and even feeding. I have heard stories of what my wife does when she visits her mum. I know all these but for the sake of my children I am trying to make the marriage work! House, what can I do? What should I do? I'm so confused and it's affecting even my job! Help! 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 9:42am On Sep 01, 2016 |
MIL from hell. Honestly, in situations like this, there's very little that you can do because the hold of your MIL on your wife is very strong (and probably very spiritual ). Just keep on being a good father and husband and keep praying and hoping your wife returns to her senses. If at the end, all doesn't work out, know that you did your best and nothing that happened was your fault. Just make sure she doesn't get custody of your kids if she follows through with the divorce. Have you tried a marriage counsellor? 2 Likes |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 9:46am On Sep 01, 2016 |
OdikwaRisky: My brother, even my father-in-law is scared to be in the same room with her |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by ojun50(m): 9:47am On Sep 01, 2016 |
U hv talk to her, her father did the same and yr family also did the same bt she prefer to roll with her mother. Sir u hv d hand in yr hand. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 9:50am On Sep 01, 2016 |
ojun50: I am in so much pain, I feel really bad when I look in the eyes of my children. My youngest kid is just 4yrs old! The oldest are both 8yrs old since they are twins! |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by soberdrunk(m): 9:53am On Sep 01, 2016 |
An apple never falls far from the tree, its obvious your wife's behavior is 'genetic' so i don't think you should waste your patience. About 3.52 "Billion" women on earth my good man, dont allow '2' send you to an early grave. ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 9:55am On Sep 01, 2016 |
OdikwaRisky: I have tried everything. My wife refuse to go to church because the pastor tried to talk her out of it. For months, since March she refused to go to church! She travelled to Nigeria for a month in May 2016 just because she was missing her mum! |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by ojun50(m): 9:56am On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: i think u should pray for her nd give her time because dis issue is nt ordinary 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by dollyjoy(f): 9:58am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Simple, she should marry the mother ![]() |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 9:58am On Sep 01, 2016 |
soberdrunk: I hear you and you r right, but my children are my concern. She knows I'm the society where we are at, she gets to take the kids! She will only destroy the kids and that scares me. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by jashar(f): 9:58am On Sep 01, 2016 |
hmmmm.... |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:01am On Sep 01, 2016 |
dollyjoy: For the record, I did invite her over but, at the Port entry, they looked at her passport and her documents and realized she forged her documents and was sent back. They cancelled her visa and sent her back. My wife was 7 months pregnant and we nearly lost the baby cos of the stress. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:04am On Sep 01, 2016 |
jashar:hmmmm.... I don't know which Mod takes care of this kind of topic. Help needed. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by lytech1(m): 10:05am On Sep 01, 2016 |
I always wonder why things in this world are not equal!!! Here comes a responsible man whom millions of women out there are dying to have... Bro,for the sake of your kids,try harder to save the marriage... If things persist,let go of her...see her as a dead being People like her regret of their existence in the future. 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Moana(f): 10:06am On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: If you have tried all you can and if its still not enough for her let her go. You can always keep custody of the children and employ someone who will be able to take care of your kids while you go to work. Let her and her mother go rumouring around the world like HIV does not exist. Your wellbeing and that of your children is what is most important. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:09am On Sep 01, 2016 |
lytech1: Thank you. I am trying and that's why I brought it here as well. I have bought books, paid for counseling, but the only person listens to is her mum. She could be here and the mum can come up with any excuse and before you know it, she's on her way to Nigeria not minding the risks or the fact that she young kids. I have and prayed, I have cried. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:13am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Moana: Thank you. Her hope is in child custody and child support. She's looking at getting property because here, the law favor especially when they have children. Custody battle is skewed in favor of unless the woman is a drug addict. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 10:14am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Have SARS arrest and kill your mother-in-law.. Lobatan! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by GoldenJAT(m): 10:14am On Sep 01, 2016 |
its Hard considering the fact that kids are involved....but its better u let her be before she kills and or maim u 4 life...that would even be worst.make some adjustments 2 ur life,so as 2 accomodate the children and their needs.u dont av a WIFE as its stands...her mind has been poisoned beyond ur imagination..only GOD can bring her bk 2 her senses.....its also obvious d mum is very diabolical and has severally worked on her...let ur conscience be ur judge....that u tried 2mk it work....but it neva came 2b.holding on at times isnt always necessary..one should also know when 2 let go.U DESERVE TO BE HAPPY..and in due time..they will reap what they av sowed. 2 Likes |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by lytech1(m): 10:15am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Moana:You've spoken well bro,but you forget the motherly care children needs from their mother... Op,I can really feel you pain Been in love with a woman who doesn't even think of one existence is hurting talkless of when children are involve Try every possible means to convince her.. If you succeed in the end,forgive and forget her deed... Not because you are foolish,but for the sake of your children... But if her madness is uncontrollable, Let her be.. God almighty will see your children through their journey in life. Atleast just to complement your effort and sincerity |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:18am On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: LOL. With all her wickedness she's still my children's grand mother |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:20am On Sep 01, 2016 |
lytech1: Thanks my brother, since she came back from Nigeria in May she has not talked too much the divorce case in court, but u can still feel the strain. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 10:21am On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:Suffer not a witch to live, you never hear? |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:23am On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: I'm a forgiving man, that may be part of my problem. I believe in giving chances. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:25am On Sep 01, 2016 |
She's on the phone with her mother at least 4 or 5 times a day. Last year she came back from Nigeria with shady stuff in bottles and plastic container that her mother's pastor gave it to her. We had an argument about it because I questioned why a pastor would give things like that to anybody. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 10:27am On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:Okay na.. Stay there make dem dy wreck havoc for your family.. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by peaceuntous: 10:27am On Sep 01, 2016 |
Send an email to counselling@deeplookers.com. I believe one of their expereienced counsellors will be of help. quote author=knuckbuck post=48976450]I am a married man with three children under the age of 8yrs. We have been married for 9 years. I am faithful and have never cheated. My mother-in-law and I never agree because of her wayward way of life. She has encouraged my wife to have adulterous relationships. My mother-in-law abandoned her kids when my wife was about rounding up SSCE. When I met my wife she had no idea where her mum was. After we started dating she finally reunited with her mum. She used to be close with her Dad, now she views her Dad as the worst human being on earth and the mother as the only person important in her life. She has repeatedly abandoned me and the children just to be with her for months at a time. January 2016, my mother-in-law told me she will make my marriage to her daughter come to an end, and she does not care what she does to make it happen. She said she does not know what she has gained from the marriage. She said we have neither bought her a car no built her a house. My parents, elders, my wife's father etc have begged her but she insists as long as she is concerned, it is over. My wife listens to only her mother and no one else. My wife has filed for divorce even though she does not have any steady form of income but she does not care. She's expecting to get at least a house and child support to sustain her. Note, my mother-in-law has no steady source of income either. She depends on my wife for rent and even feeding. I have heard stories of what my wife does when she visits her mum. I know all these but for the sake of my children I am trying to make the marriage work! House, what can I do? What should I do? I'm so confused and it's affecting even my job! Help! [/quote] |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:31am On Sep 01, 2016 |
[quote author=peaceuntous post=48978006]Send an email to counselling@deeplookers.com. I believe one of their expereienced counsellors will be of help. Thank you. I'll do that. I'm trying all I can. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 10:33am On Sep 01, 2016 |
May be your MIL tried to make passes at you but you never noticed . Well, you need to put your feet down.... at the same time prayerfully .... Kindly make time out and spend with her and even listen to some of the issues, pretend like you are interested in truly resolving the issues , Im sure there would be some respite. Regards, |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:35am On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: LOL. I understand why you'll be angry. I knew my when she did not know where her mum was. She is a very kind hearted lady. Very kind indeed. Since her mum made the full entry into her life, everyone has become her enemy... even her dad who took care of all of them. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 10:37am On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: ![]() Muna arrest that monster-in-law with SARS 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 10:38am On Sep 01, 2016 |
1acre: My mother-in-law tried this about 6 years ago and it failed. My wife distanced herself from her mum and we experienced love, peace and progress. My mother-in-law drew close to me to get close to her daughter and then last year it started all over again, only worse. |
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