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Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 12:05pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:shez tryin to be smart..show her ur smarter ur lettin her get away wit dis tinz...she won agree xo tz u dat wil agree na..jxt carry urselve and kids to nig...stAy like a month lemme see if she wont follow den u send ur own divorce papers..two can play..tz nt about u bt dose kids çuz if dey stay wid her plus ur mil..mmm dey fit hate u join 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:06pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez: The way it works here, she gets the kids. The thought of my kids growing up with her under the influence of my mother-in-law sends a shiver down my spine. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:13pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
CaraJewel: You are right. My job will not let me go to Nigeria to stay that long. I'm too busy to be travelling back and forth. We already have a case in court already. I know she thinks she's being smart. I know that but in the end I see her foolishness. I feel for my kids. I can wake up, take my bag, leave all my properties for her and within two years I'll be back! It's not about that, it's about my children and how I want them raised. If we were in Nigeria, we won't even be having this nonsense. 2 Likes |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JeffreyJamez(m): 12:19pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: If you can prove she cant take care of them, cant they give you the kids? |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:26pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez: Most States in US are mummy states. What that means is, in the case of divorce a woman gets the children. Unless u can prove she is incapable of taking care of the kids which is difficult unless she is a drug addict. Even if she does not have a job they expect the man to support by giving child support. That's what she's hoping to get. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JeffreyJamez(m): 12:30pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: At least try.......is she Nigerian? |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by Nobody: 12:32pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
Your in a tricky situation. Does your wife treat your children well? Is she taking good care of them? Or does she leave them unattended? If she's maltreating them in any way, keep records, evidence, so that if she brings up the divorce talk you can show proof that she's not fit to take care of your children. Your Mil seems like a gold digger to me, from her comment where she said she's not gained anything from you and all. My dear, push for the divorce. Don't let one woman kill you. Your children will understand, after all they're seeing their mum misbehave. Just call them and explain to them, they see and understand lots of things. Don't bother to much about the motherly love stuff, you can get a good nanny or invite your mum to come over. Its well with you bro, I pray your wife realises her folly, sooner rather than later. Good luck! |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:33pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez: Yes she's Nigerian. My lawyer has told me plainly that she gets to keep the kids. We can have joint custody but she gets to keep the kids. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 12:36pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:tough tho...chai God wat a woman..if u were in naij no nid for divorce..jxt return d f.ucking bride price..hope d older kids knw dat tz deir mum datz wrong 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:39pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
CaraJewel: My older kids are 8yrs old. They r twins and they understand. They hate the fact their mother is always going to Nigeria. She's travelled to Nigeria 3 times this year already all because she wants to be with her mother and all that cost money! |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 12:45pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:y i knw..fligt ticket is almst 500k...plz stop givin her money...if tz joint acct close it... 1 Like |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JeffreyJamez(m): 12:50pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: Okay now can you endure all this till the kids are grown and able to decide who to stay with? |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 12:51pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
CaraJewel: I have closed most of the avenues. Joint account closed and all that. A woman will always find a way. She's run our credit card cos of this nonsense. My brother, I'm just tired. She thinks she's fighting me but it's the whole family she's fighting. I'm paying lawyers, she's paying lawyers, we r wasting money that could be used to take care of us. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 1:06pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:m a sister o |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 1:15pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
CaraJewel: Yes o CaraJewel. We have been wasting money on things that don't even matter. She hired an expensive Chinese Divorce lawyer in her desperation. The had been eating her money for months before she finally filed for a divorce with restraining order. It cost me money to get my own lawyer that responded and the restraining order was withdrawn. They hinged all their case on the restraining order and in one fell swoop they withdrew it. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by CaraJewel(f): 1:35pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:u can sell d property she is eyeing..keep d money or invest in it witawt her knwing..pretend like ur broke or smtin...if ur work can transfer u to anoda place..better too |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by DeLioncourt: 1:39pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: brother... the truth is that the matter is almost out of your hands. if you can't get them to reason with you or anybody, my suggestion is simple. save your neck. before sh*t goes awry and they do something royally stupid...that may endanger you or your kids. as a wise man once said "fly wey no gree leave shit go follow am enter grave". if she can't consider the children and behave herself, you have to save yourself n the kids before you're pulled into the black hole they're creating. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 2:59pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
CaraJewel: As long we are married everything I own is called community property. I can not sell without her approval. But we can both agree to sell. As a mother she practically hold all the aces. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 3:02pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
DeLioncourt: You are right but it's not easy trying to save the children because the law will favor her and that is my fear. They have tried all kinds of things but God has saved me. There are things that have happened that I know it can only be God saving me. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JaySea: 3:27pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
@ knuckbuck: Bro I feel your concern. The thought of your kids turning out the way you strongly abhor is driving your decisions so far. And not to talk of the amount of effort, time and resources that will be lost if the divorce goes through - the western world is very different from Nigeria (the woman gets to keep almost everything). From what you've mentioned so far I have extracted these points: - the wife was a good person until she reunited with her mum. - the MIL made it clear she was after some benefits from you and/or her daughter ( her wanting to travel to the US seems to be her driving motivation; even when it is desirable that her own sons go there in her stead). -your wife came to Nigeria to see her mum and she came back with some fetish juju-like objects from a so-called pastor her mum introduced her to. My conclusion from above is that your wife is being hoodwinked by her mother. God knows I am not religious but I understand the environment I live in and what people can do when they are desperate to get whatever they desire without being guided by humanist values. You MIL is diabolical (in this context, someone who will use juju powers to get what she wants). She wants to control her daughter so that she can get some benefits from you two. If your wife was previously not like this before their reunion then she is NOT the enemy here. You MIL is. Now to solutions: there are many ways to skin this cat. Obiorathesubtle has given one, which appears extreme, but nevertheless contains a valuable essence. Which is the need to break her hold on her daughter. Obiorathesubtle suggested you eliminate the MIL, I say just destroy her negative influence over her daughter; eliminating the MIL should not be considered. Now before I continue I need to ask: are you religious or not? And if you are; Christian, Muslim or otherwise? (Your religious belief will determine the kind of solutions I will suggest. And once again I want to state that I myself am not religious; I only know the nature of people in this part of the world) You marriage is worth saving. Don't give up yet. Your wife is not the enemy. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 3:36pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JaySea:Extreme? Lol.. Cut the Tree from the stem and watch it grow up again, uproot from the root and it'll never grow again... This is a bad tree and should be treated as such... Open, don't say I didn't warn you when monster-in-law is still alive and kicking, you managed to scale through stage one of her torment... Do you think stage 2 or stage 3 would be easier? Kill the witch and live free... |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JaySea: 3:53pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: When a Lion loses the ability to hunt with its teeth it loses its ability to survive. It even gets ejected as the head of it pride and usually dies after. Obiora you want the threat posed by the MIL to be eliminated. I want that too. Our ways of achieving that is just different. What if there is a way to resolve this issue without expending valuable effort, energy and our moral values by killing another human being; doesn't logic dictates that we take that path Obiorathesubtle? (Destroy your enemy's attack capability and they may as well be powerless over you). |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 4:05pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JaySea: Thank you very much. I'm very religious and I'm a Christian. My MIL is a very wicked woman. I've invited her over to the US but she was turned back when she got here because she lied in her travel document and her false certificates with false names and dates of birth. They cancelled her visa and put her on a plane back to Nigeria without letting her into the country. She has been trying to get a new Passport for over 2yrs but with the new biometric data system she has not been able to do that. Even with all these problems she's still desperate to come back. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 4:08pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: LOL. Let's show mercy maybe she'll repent. My prayer is that she changes for the benefit of everyone. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 4:09pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
JaySea:But you have forgotten context.. You said a lion who has lost its ability to hunt, something equal or suitable will be made available.. Call it effect of instinct.. The Lion will always kill or die, because it's nature for a lion to kill and hunt.. The is about a thorn in a man's flesh, do you nurse it and hope for the pains to one day seize while the thorn is still very much in your flesh? Your skin can't grow on a foreign body like a thorn. You'll die of an infection or blood loss or something. The only approach is to remove the thorn from the skin and throw it away.. 1. Where it will never pierce you or anyone again. 2. It might've been useful to the rose or whatever plant that bore it.. But it hurt you, or do you think plants don't have feelings?? So you throw it away.. The plant's loss.. But your gain.. It's never a win win.. Something has to go out for peace to be permanent.. My advice, make it look like a natural death, give her a befitting burial.. Extreme, but effective.. No margin for error.. Eliminate the woman, she has lived out her purpose and more. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 4:14pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:Lol. Okay, I laud your patience.. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by DeLioncourt: 4:20pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: Aren't you in Nigeria? Money is above the law brother. Literally buy your kids from the law. There is always a way in this country... You've gotta fight bro...for the kids at least. If she's not willing to consider them, you must take action...fast. sometimes, the only way past a mountain is to force your way through it. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 4:22pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: Lol. You will never have an enemy because they'll be too scared to confront you. You like solution permanent and brutal. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by obiorathesubtle: 4:27pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck:Lol. I'm absolute, I'm loving.. I want to seat at a table with friends and not enemies.. I never want to make enemies.. But I meet adversary with brute force.. Has kept me going, you will be loved and feared.. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JaySea: 4:28pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: Knuckbuck I want to be certain of some facts before jumping to any baseless conclusion : Are you sure your wife was not like this before meeting her mother? Are you sure this was not her character initially? The reason why I am asking is because my suggestion(s) may be worthless if she is just a woman with a strong western feminist mindset - the type that believes she is lord-and-commander of her world because "daddy western government" has liberally tilted the legal system in her favour. If this is the case then I may not be of much help as I will interprete the issue to be a character-rooted one. One needs to avoid attacking a false cause. I am being cautious. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by knuckbuck(m): 4:32pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
obiorathesubtle: Thanks for all your contributions. The sad thing is our lives including hers will be so much better but because of her wickedness she doesn't care how much is wasted fighting. This is a woman that has no steady job nor education. |
Re: Desperate To Save A 10yr Marriage With Kids by JaySea: 4:32pm On Sep 01, 2016 |
knuckbuck: I understand Obiorathesubtle's point of view. I am assuming he has had a lot of experiences with people whom you seem not to have offended but who wants to cut you down. |
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