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Why Men Go For Independent Women - Family - Nairaland

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Why Men Go For Independent Women by flashope(m): 10:44am On Sep 02, 2016
Most people do have a misconception about most men crave to marrying a woman who puts something on the table. Responsible men dont want any dime from a woman. All they need is their intellectual capacity and high level of in-depth reasoning to contribute to the family because with that a man gets novel ideas periodically and have a knowledgeable person who repackages and critically analyse all ideas he tables. Your wisdom, knowledge and positive words are all what a man really need from a woman. Wealth, beauty are all secondary.
Most women that are financially independence have these qualities and value money more. So it's imperative for men to go for such woman because that is partial confirmation that the woman's reasoning is up to par. Such people don't are more interested in discussions that will propell both partners and shy from irrelevant discussions and their less dependence on the man will open more avenues for investment and more income.
Therefore, dear ladies please focus on your internal-internal and not external-external. Amass more knowledge , get more independent, be humble, be more reasonable, upgrade your character positively and dont just sit down hours beautifying your face,spend more of your time beautifying your mind and responsible men of vision will find their ways into your life.
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by osayande1(m): 10:52am On Sep 02, 2016
flashope:
Most people do have a misconception about most men crave to marrying a woman who puts something on the table. Responsible men dont want any dime from a woman. All they need is their intellectual capacity and high level of in-depth reasoning to contribute to the family because with that a man gets novel ideas periodically and have a knowledgeable person who repackages and critically analyse all ideas he tables. Your wisdom, knowledge and positive words are all what a man really need from a woman. Wealth, beauty are all secondary.
Most women that are financially independence have these qualities and value money more. So it's imperative for men to go for such woman because that is partial confirmation that the woman's reasoning is up to par. Such people don't are more interested in discussions that will propell both partners and shy from irrelevant discussions and their less dependence on the man will open more avenues for investment and more income.
Therefore, dear ladies please focus on your internal-internal and not external-external. Amass more knowledge , get more independent, be humble, be more reasonable, upgrade your character positively and dont just sit down hours beautifying your face,spend more of your time beautifying your mind and responsible men of vision will find their ways into your life.
nice

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 11:35am On Sep 02, 2016
flashope:
Most people do have a misconception about most men crave to marrying a woman who puts something on the table. Responsible men dont want any dime from a woman. All they need is their intellectual capacity and high level of in-depth reasoning to contribute to the family because with that a man gets novel ideas periodically and have a knowledgeable person who repackages and critically analyse all ideas he tables. Your wisdom, knowledge and positive words are all what a man really need from a woman. Wealth, beauty are all secondary.
Most women that are financially independence have these qualities and value money more. So it's imperative for men to go for such woman because that is partial confirmation that the woman's reasoning is up to par. Such people don't are more interested in discussions that will propell both partners and shy from irrelevant discussions and their less dependence on the man will open more avenues for investment and more income.
Therefore, dear ladies please focus on your internal-internal and not external-external. Amass more knowledge , get more independent, be humble, be more reasonable, upgrade your character positively and dont just sit down hours beautifying your face,spend more of your time beautifying your mind
and responsible men of vision will find their ways into your life.

It's like you don't want some girls to locate husband before this year runs out.
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by flashope(m): 12:47pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:


It's like you don't want some girls to locate husband before this year runs out.

how?
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 12:54pm On Sep 02, 2016
flashope:


how?
Ladies that will be partially or even sometimes totally dependent on the men they marry, are in the majority.
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by flashope(m): 1:35pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:

Ladies that will be partially or even sometimes totally dependent on the men they marry, are in the majority.
women got to upgrade jare. women brain and way of reasoning should upgrade those are actually very important
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by bukatyne(f): 2:07pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:

Ladies that will be partially or even sometimes totally dependent on the men they marry, are in the majority.

How is that a bad thing?

Many people still want to go the traditional route when it comes to marriage responsibilities...

The husband provide and the wife takes care of the home.

Not every husband wants an 'independent/earning' wife

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by bukatyne(f): 2:08pm On Sep 02, 2016
flashope:
women got to upgrade jare. women brain and way of reasoning should upgrade those are actually very important

How is a wife depending totally/partially on her husband financially translate to upgrading of reasoning?

What if they like it that way?

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 2:17pm On Sep 02, 2016
bukatyne:


How is that a bad thing?

Many people still want to go the traditional route when it comes to marriage responsibilities...

The husband provide and the wife takes care of the home.

Not every husband wants an 'independent/earning' wife
I know your thoughts of me, they are not of good but of being devious... but believe me when I tell you, I wasn't trying to imply that it's a bad thing. wink

I share your opinion.

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by flashope(m): 2:35pm On Sep 02, 2016
bukatyne:


How is a wife depending totally/partially on her husband financially translate to upgrading of reasoning?

What if they like it that way?
you misunderstood the post, read the first paragraph
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by Nobody: 2:43pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:

I know your thoughts of me, they are not of good but of being devious... but believe me when I tell you, I wasn't trying to imply that it's a bad thing. wink

I share your opinion.

You think it's ok for others or would you choose this model for yourself as well?
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 3:15pm On Sep 02, 2016
Mindfulness:


You think it's ok for others or would you choose this model for yourself as well?
I have experienced both sides and I can tell you for a fact that ladies who have something going for them however little, are a better fit with me.

I don't consciously look out for ONLY independent ladies, but this group does have a certain trait I admire.

5 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by Nobody: 3:19pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:

I have experienced both sides and I can tell you for a fact that ladies who have something going for them however little, are a better fit with me.

I don't consciously look out for ONLY independent ladies, but this group does have a certain trait I admire.

I thought so.

Is it because they find it easier to make a man feel free?
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 3:42pm On Sep 02, 2016
Mindfulness:


I thought so.

Is it because they find it easier to make a man feel free?
Kinda, in the sense that they are less clingy.

Not like busy people don't get clingy too, but an idle mind will have a lot of time to be second-guessing my every move.

2 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by Nobody: 3:44pm On Sep 02, 2016
crackhaus:

Kinda, in the sense that they are less clingy.

Not like busy people don't get clingy too, but an idle mind will have a lot of time to be second-guessing my every move.

Since women crave security and men freedom - generally speaking - it was an easy guess.
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by zeb04(f): 3:45pm On Sep 02, 2016
How do people think the world revolves around them?

Do you think women want to be independent to be marketable,
Is that what you think?

5 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 4:02pm On Sep 02, 2016
Mindfulness:


Since women crave security and men freedom - generally speaking - it was an easy guess.
coolcool

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by crackhaus: 4:06pm On Sep 02, 2016
zeb04:
How do people think the world revolves around them?

Do you think women want to be independent to be marketable,
Is that what you think?
People (men and women) want to be independent because they want to be in control of their own finances.

What makes you assume it's about marketability?

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by TV01(m): 6:29pm On Sep 02, 2016
Maybe I don't rightly get it, but I'm not sure I agree overall, or with some of the detail. There are a number of conflations and premises I'm not sure about.

For one, "putting something on the table", does not necessarily mean "independent". More importantly, marriage itself in some sense centres around co-dependency. Although this co-dependency is over and beyond finances, for most couples, there will be some monetary overlap after marriage, whatever there respective financial positions before it.

flashope:
Most people do have a misconception about most men crave to marrying a woman who puts something on the table. Responsible men dont want any dime from a woman. All they need is their intellectual capacity and high level of in-depth reasoning to contribute to the family because with that a man gets novel ideas periodically and have a knowledgeable person who repackages and critically analyse all ideas he tables. Your wisdom, knowledge and positive words are all what a man really need from a woman. Wealth, beauty are all secondary.
I mostly agree to this point. However, what a real man wants and what the practicalities of a situation suggest can be very different wink.

flashope:
Most women that are financially independence have these qualities and value money more. So it's imperative for men to go for such woman because that is partial confirmation that the woman's reasoning is up to par. Such people don't are more interested in discussions that will propell both partners and shy from irrelevant discussions and their less dependence on the man will open more avenues for investment and more income.
Here I start to part ways with you.
1. I don't agree your opening sentence here necessarily holds true - both parts of it.
2. Or the follow-on inference that it makes them "up to par"
3. And even if it does as you suggest to some degree, there may be downsides to this independence

flashope:
Therefore, dear ladies please focus on your internal-internal and not external-external. Amass more knowledge , get more independent, be humble, be more reasonable, upgrade your character positively and dont just sit down hours beautifying your face,spend more of your time beautifying your mind and responsible men of vision will find their ways into your life.
Good advice, but financial independence is not necessarily key or a predicate for any of the other "qualities".

I have known men who are not so well to do financially, become so after marrying women who are. The reverse can also hold true. Both a man and woman may be independent prior to marriage, the cost of running a home and raising a family for most means a considered mutuality after marriage, whatever the case before.

And what should these financially independent women be looking for in a man?


TV

3 Likes

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by byvan03: 8:04pm On Sep 02, 2016
bukatyne:


How is that a bad thing?

Many people still want to go the traditional route when it comes to marriage responsibilities...

The husband provide and the wife takes care of the home.

Not every husband wants an 'independent/earning' wife


Thank you!
Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by cococandy(f): 3:04pm On Sep 03, 2016
I have to agree with this. I think the OP is far from reality if he doesn't recognize that men marry so called independent women so that the family income can be bumped. Please what's the percentage of marred men who are sole bread winners? NL and her fairytales. Never rooted in reality.

TV01:
Maybe I don't rightly get it, but I'm not sure I agree overall, or with some of the detail. There are a number of conflations and premises I'm not sure about.

For one, "putting something on the table", does not necessarily mean "independent". More importantly, marriage itself in some sense centres around co-dependency. Although this co-dependency is over and beyond finances, for most couples, there will be some monetary overlap after marriage, whatever there respective financial positions before it.


I mostly agree to this point. However, what a real man wants and what the practicalities of a situation suggest can be very different wink.


Here I start to part ways with you.
1. I don't agree your opening sentence here necessarily holds true - both parts of it.
2. Or the follow-on inference that it makes them "up to par"
3. And even if it does as you suggest to some degree, there may be downsides to this independence


Good advice, but financial independence is not necessarily key or a predicate for any of the other "qualities".

I have known men who are not so well to do financially, become so after marrying women who are. The reverse can also hold true. Both a man and woman may be independent prior to marriage, the cost of running a home and raising a family for most means a considered mutuality after marriage, whatever the case before.

And what should these financially independent women be looking for in a man?


TV

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by TV01(m): 7:54pm On Sep 03, 2016
cococandy:
I have to agree with this. I think the OP is far from reality if he doesn't recognize that men marry so called independent women so that the family income can be bumped. Please what's the percentage of marred men who are sole bread winners? NL and her fairytales. Never rooted in reality.
I'm not even sure what a woman being independent is supposed to entail? Is it one who can take care of herself prior to marriage, or one who can comfortably finance the household after it?

For the vast majority of couples, even if one could single-handedly finance the home, the others income will not be entirely disbursed on non-family related items, or remain untouched will it?

Like I said, marriage is actually about co-dependence on so many levels. Trying to isolate "financial circumstances" as pivotal, not only to marriage, but to a womans other qualities is at best suspect.

And yes, given the times, and now the economic climate we live in, I'm sure some men will hope that their wives can render some level of financial support, but like OP rightly noted, the vast majority wold like to be able manage alone - even if for all the wrong reasons or solely ego' sake grin.

And while many may harbour a secret desire for a decently earning spouse, only few will make it a pivotal consideration when choosing. That still remains a bigger consideration for women - and rightly so, given the different burdens.


TV

1 Like

Re: Why Men Go For Independent Women by OgaSirAde(m): 8:28pm On Sep 03, 2016
Beautiful epistle...

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