I don't want to be a babymama but I want to nurse a child so bad!
Whether it's a baby from my womb or an adopted child, I don't care provided it would be called my own! *Buhuhu*

The other day girl, you came to see me.
You have a 2-year old son and you were contemplating taking him to your mother in the village.
Huh
Gosh! I almost grabbed him from you;
people don't even know the value of what they have including the challenges, trials and effort, until you point it out to them? . Gosh!

God, You have been so kind to me because children warm up to me easily.
At least I have a taste of child love...

Dad ever since you passed on, I have appreciated all the men in my life more, Uncles, male friends...etc etc, my love for independence (or is it freedom?) disappeared and these bouts of motherhood cravings set in!
It keeps getting stronger and more frequent!
What can I do

..'Can't help but think of you little girl...little girl on my street, gosh, how I love you!
And the beautiful thing is you notice me too
You would always say, "byeeeee..." anytime I pass by.
Gosh I wish your grandmum would give you to me lol

OK. You need a child but you dont want to be a babymama, and i suppose, like most girls, you're not ready to settle down with a husband.
So what do you now want us to do about it?

aadvark:
OK. You need a child but you dont want to be a babymama, and i suppose, like most girls, you're not ready to settle down with a husband.
So what do you now want us to do about it?

Huh? Lol...I'm ready for a husband!
Sweetest Hubby I am ready for you, come come
I used to think I can go through life without being married. (God forgive me my sins *sign of the cross*)

Incrizz:

Huh? Lol...I'm ready for a husband!
Sweetest Hubby I am ready for you, come come
I used to think I can go through life without being married
(God forgive me my sins *sign of the cross*)

Lol. I think i'm your direct opposite. i used to think i cant go through life without getting married, now i think i can.

well, i guess the best i can do for you is to help you search. Oya give me your specifications of an ideal husband

aadvark:
Lol. I think i'm your direct opposite. i used to think i cant go through life without getting married, now i think i can.

well, i guess the best i can do for you is to help you search. Oya give me your specifications of an ideal husband

Haha..okay.
I have read how some marriages almost break up simply because the hubby asked the wifey to quit work and attend to his kids because he is more than capable to provide for the family. If these stories are not fiction and such men do actually exist, I want (And the women are sometimes unhappy and would revolt.
Wow! Like seriously? Different strokes for different folks...)
Working from home all the way.......

Gosh, I can tolerate a naturally fair guy but a guy who uses "cream" to enhance or "maintain" his complexion?
A man who bleaches?
That's so sissy-ish I'll pass.
Black men who bleach are much more irritating.
I just wonder if they have never heard of the phrase "tall dark & handsome"?

I have never met a guy who doesn't drink alcohol yet.
I would love to meet one...
I don't know how or why it happens to me but once I know that a guy I like, drinks, my whole system shuts off.
As per, whatever love I had going for him just disappears!
I have tried to control myself and make the feeling of love stay but I haven't succeeded yet.
True love dies for me here.
*Any tip?*

Jesus:
Jesus the Son of God is life mennnn! We should be able to speak same spiritual language for a happy home...

Clean white teeth, man.
Kissing ought to be fun, right?

I am not and have never been a fan of big weddings, just white wedding dress.
"The Runaway Bride" is the story of my life, it's just that I don't know how to ride a horse yet (that animal is a real beast, scary).
Why such massive crowd
The registry says all they need is you, your partner, a witness each from both of you, two wedding rings, a Bible and voila you are man & wife for a token fee.
I once watched a film of Tom Cruise. In the heat of the movie, he asked his girlfriend twice, "do you trust me?" As soon as she replied yes, they were before a clergy (public) and he pronounced them man and wife. Just him, her and the clergy. So simple and stress-free, stressless and romantic!!
*dreamy eyed*

Under 21, no no please

Under 33, Well....no.

34+ So ideal....
(But erm..God's will above all).

What will I be bringing to the table
I'll be your loyal number one fan forever man, that should count for something right?

Mehn! Incrizz, that is some list! well let me say what i think about them.

Working from home is really cool. gives you enough time for the kids. But don't wait for an 'already-made' man who can provide enough to enable u have plenty time for the kids. Perhaps you're just the support he needs to get him to that level. the wife is a complement right? well, its still up to u but men like that are few, not because they dont want that for their wives, but u know the economic situation.

For the bleaching part, i totally agree with u. i dislike 'bleachers'. its a sign of an ebbing self worth.

Now alcohol. Hmmmm, does there live a guy who doesn't drink? well i cant say. i don't understand your total disdain for it tho. i mean, there are men who drink once in a while, like twice or thrice a year. maybe it has to do with the view of alcohol u had while growing up. but i support u if u mean those who have a habit of drinking.

Jesus. not much to say. its really important to be united spiritually.

Runaway bride. Lol,u're funny. just don't do it on a horse lest u and hubby break your necks. on a serious note tho, small weddings are cool. not the shakespearean ones tho, those ones are overly exclusive. how can just three people be present? i favour a wedding involving the couple, their parents, and a few relatives. and a dinner with them and a few invited friends afterwards.
opinion:small weddings are nice but dont take it to the extreme.

Age. under 21? whats he doing with marriage?
Under 33? for me, just before 30 is the ripe age for a guy.
34+? still cool.


You have nice expectations and i pray u find it all. however u must remember that none is spotless. so i suggest u arrange ur expections according to importance cos u might have to let go of some. say u have just the guy with all those qualities but he drinks once in a while, would u let go? so along with the expected,expect the unexpected, those few little spots that might dot our clear dreams.
Wish u the best Incrizz.
off2search4urHubby

Aadvark
Lol..I am really trying hard not to get defensive here.
Most guys, I have now come to see, don't understand women.

When a woman is in love with her man, she supports him financially and otherwise. She doesn't need to be told or tell you or say it out loud.
It's how we are wired.

Problem comes when it feels like the guy sees that as priority that she should share burden.
Would you believe a guy was asking my friend out and she hasn't even said yes but he was already discussing how the home expenses would be split 50:50? Who does that

A woman would help out in HER home. She can't help it.

Okay, I just shared with you a fantasy, my dream man, and you are already lecturing on how I ought to be a complement.
(I know that already!!!)
Are there really women who sit at home contributing nothing in these past 50years?

Before he comes, am I not already taking care of myself and earning a living?
Are you saying that I would watch a man I love break under financial weight and I won't lift a finger to help him?
That is what I feel you're insinuating by stating the obvious that I ought to support him.

If I am married and I work from home (have my own business office really close by funded by hubby, it would be cool).
How does that in any way imply that I can't do all that myself?

And the whole idea of a "made guy"... Who is a made guy anyways

Because right now, Papa Ayo who is a bricklayer, has built himself a house and funded his wife's business..and he is still bricklaying. In this Buhari economy.

Mr Peter sells stuffs in the market and opened a provision store for his wife.

Do these men have two heads?
To me, they are made men.
What I feel from them is love for their wives.
The women listened to their lyrics and believed in them and the husbands now loves them accordingly.
Funny enough these women might not even interpret these provisions by their men as love.
But for me, it's love.

My husband may eventually not do that for me, but if he does, a fantasy would have come true.

You get me??

The registry thingy, I just gave you their minimum requirement. It doesn't mean you can't come with your little crowd.
PS: it's Two witnesses, one from the gy and the other from the girl. So, 4 people in all

How far the search, it's 5hours already?

Dear Incrizz, sorry if i put u on defensive there. i cant say i understand women and i never claim to. i'm glad that u already intend to be supportive to hubby and i know he'll love u more for that. However, my emphasis on being supportive was born out of things i've seen. Not every woman is like you, incrizz. i mean, i've seen women who decided to become liabilities to their husbands simply cos they think the husband should be responsible for everything.
so i'm glad u're different. keep it up sis.

As for the search, mehn! i got to see the trueness of this igbo proverb, ''the female frog carries its mate on its back because it knows that husbands are scarce''. lol, i blame buhari sha.
Anyway, let me continue looking for your husband. patience is key, lol. Hope u're having a nice day

Advark I don't believe you.
What do you mean she is a liablity?
Be specific please.
You mean there is a woman around you there, maybe in your neighbourhood, who is just sitting and doing nothing, as per, she is not selling, she is not on salary, she is not even making an attempt to earn with her hands but prefer to just...do what anyways...sit and watch tv?
Make me understand please.

As for that igbo proverb, they just twisted things. The female frog is carrying the male frog because they are mating

I read on some thread today that men are scarce but on google:
More precisely, out of 1,000 people, 504 are men (50.4%) and 496 are women (49.6%). For every 100 girls, 107 boys are born...

So man keep on searching lol..

Incrizz:
Advark I don't believe you.
What do you mean she is a liablity?
Be specific please.
You mean there is a woman around you there, maybe in your neighbourhood, who is just sitting and doing nothing, as per, she is not selling, she is not on salary, she is not even making an attempt to earn with her hands but prefer to just...do what anyways...sit and watch tv?
Make me understand please.

As for that igbo proverb, they just twisted things. The female frog is carrying the male frog because they are mating

I read on some thread today that men are scarce but on google:
More precisely, out of 1,000 people, 504 are men (50.4%) and 496 are women (49.6%). For every 100 girls, 107 boys are born...

So man keep on searching lol..

What we learnt in school is that the female child has a survival gap rate wider than that of the male child. For every 100 girl child survivor, we have 75 of the boy child.

Wishing you the best in your search.

Hmmmm Incrizz, it is not a joking sturvs o.
At my former place of residence, i had a neighbor who was a teacher. his wife was a tailor. she used to earn a reasonable sum but not a kobo goes into helping the family. if at any point she's forced to spend on family matters, she records the amount and asks her husband to pay when he gets his salary. i used to really pity that man. sometimes he exhausts his salary the very day he gets it. so my dear, not all women reason like u.

You are correct with the frog thing, lol, i was just pulling ur legs with that proverb. but true true, husband scarce o.

Oya respond to bioteck's explanation.

Poetic Justice Incrizz

BioTeck:


What we learnt in school is that the female child has a survival gap rate wider than that of the male child. For every 100 girl child survivor, we have 75 of the boy child.

Wishing you the best in your search.

"For every 107 males, there are about 100 females.
But research has shown male mortality to be higher, so that, at some point in time, the ratio of men to women evens out".

Then,
As per distribution,
in some countries males are higher while in some other countries, females are higher.

In Nigeria,
as of January 01 2016,
"The sex ratio of the total population was
1.026 (i.e 1,026 males per 1,000 females)"

95,138,042 is the Current male population which is 50.6%

92,741,599 is the Current female population which is 49.4%

-countrymeters.info

You guys just like the feeling of thinking you are scarce right?

Aadvark
Mehnnnnn... that example you gave feels depressing.
So many scenarios are playing in my head.
Maybe she did it only once and you just hapened to be there and noticed??
Maybe she LENT him the money and due to his previous track record of not paying back she had to stand her ground and collect it back since it was a BORROW situation? I dunno man...

Lol, I was taken aback by your frog proverb though.

I have replied BioTec

Anyways, the day I made this thread, it seems motherhood-craving hormones had just been released into my system.
It seems to have cleared off now.
I feel alright

dairykidd:
Poetic Justice Incrizz

What does it mean?

Incrizz:

What does it mean?

i think u have an imaginative style of expressing urself...its good

dairykidd:


i think u have an imaginative style of expressing urself...its good

Thanks.

Incrizz
It wasn't just a borrow situation, or something that happenned only once; i lived there for years. my parents were like the older couple in the neighborhood, so they were usually in the thick of settling their squabbles. the point is, all women can't be good and supportive, just like all men aren't.


Your reply to bioteck though. una no go just gree say we scarce, lol. well then, how do u explain lots of women flooding prayer ministries just to get a husband? men don't do that, do they? kinda makes it hard for me and many other men to believe those stats on the internet.

Erm, when u said the hormones have cleared off now, u mean i should stop searching for your husband? cos i was just about searching with 4G, Lol.

Do have a beautiful sunday sis.

incrizz search no more! I'm here for you. I'm ready to make your dream come true. the only challenge I have is that u prefer babysitting to working. my wife must work. at least go out in the morning and come back in the afternoon. I'm not looking for a nanny in this present dispensation. this is 2016

Incrizz:

Thanks.

U welcome

Lincolnburrows:
incrizz search no more! I'm here for you. I'm ready to make your dream come true. the only challenge I have is that u prefer babysitting to working. my wife must work. at least go out in the morning and come back in the afternoon. I'm not looking for a nanny in this present dispensation. this is 2016

Lol @nanny
but Sweetie, I never said full time housewife. I may have used the wrong term. Self employed/Business owner is what I meant.

But you may want to reconsider your stance on the housewife view..? Hehe
Check out excerpts from new researches:

Raj Persaud debates the "unfulfilled husband" versus "woman as health director" theories

The Institute for Social and Economic Research reported that being married to a housewife - as opposed to an executive wife - makes all the difference to a man's success at work.

Married men earn more than single men, but only if their wife stays at home - and does all the chores.

Note: their author, Mark Taylor (male, of course) - a labour market economist at Essex University, where the institute is based - attracted many abusive e-mails.

Taylor defended his study by saying: "It is important to point out that
-THE MAN benefits from his wife not working,
-but THE HOUSEHOLD benefits when she does work.

"Men whose wives contribute to the domestic chores (rather than going out to work) are able to spend more time developing the skills and contacts that increase their labour market productivity."


Furthermore, a new study by sociologists Vincent Duindam and Ed Spruijt of Utrecht University in The Netherlands is set to generate even more controversy; it confirms that, the more hours the mother works, the worse the father's physical and mental health.

...Surprisingly, Duindam and Spruijt found that, for both groups, the longer their wives' working hours, the worse the fathers' physical and mental wellbeing.

An important conclusion from both studies is that, the more their wives work outside the home, the more the fathers' mental wellbeing deteriorates.

Women working, had more negative effects on the health of caring fathers than average fathers.

'Excerpt disjointed much?

Lincolnburrows:
incrizz search no more! I'm here for you. I'm ready to make your dream come true.

*falls in love*

Aadvark
We no go gree arall...

@More women at prayer Ministries: the men just prefer to sit and watch the available single sisters file out and make their pick with their eyes instead of coming out I think?
-women are more expressive?

The only time in my Church a Pastor ever asked Singles who are ready for marriage to file out for prayers some years ago, guys outnumbered women in my eyes
I was amazed. So there were guys? Haha. I felt bad though that they all returned to their seats after the prayer without the Pastor encouraging some form of mingling or interaction between them. A simple, "Guys, in the next 5 minutes, go around this female crowd and collect 5 numbers" would have done the trick, I think. But maybe the Pastor is wiser than I.....

4G right? Lol... I don't know what to say because I just called someone Sweetie

Incrizz
it is true that there are single men who are ready for marriage, but most times it is because they want to search for the right partner. for women, it is different. there comes a time when just any man will do as husband. when a woman approaches forty and still a spinster, there's a fat chance she'll not get married but a forty year old man will have no problems finding a wife. i think that explains the desperation single women might display.
But that ur suggestion for ur pastor get as e be o. collect 5 numbers for inside church? lol.

@calling someone sweetie, hmmm. so he's the one?
SEARCH ABORTED! I REPEAT, SEARCH ABORTED!!!
lincolnburrows' head must have swelled to bursting point now, lol. anyway, congratulations o. when is the wedding? i know u want a small one but invite me o. nothing in this life is as sweet as party rice.

H♏M.. Aadvark
Men would see it as "anyone would do" but it's not true.

There is always something a woman at any point in time T, considers in a guy before settling for him.

A woman will not settle for just "any" man, no matter how desperate.
You may see it as "any man" maybe because the guy is poor, or "ugly" but something in that guy made her settle.

It would amaze you to know that, some "desperate women" funny enough, do have men, though few, showing interest in them but they still won't settle lol.
It may take the intervention of friends or family to make have some sense.

There is something they are looking for and that something, psychologically, still won't cause them to respond to maybe the gardener who thinks them valuable and seek them albeit subtly.

What do you think? That Rita dominic, Genevieve and other forty-ish women don't have 3-4 guys subtly showing them that they care?
It's that psychology of that "something" that won't cause them to settle for those men.

I know lady, the truth is I don't know her age, but because of her younger siblings, I know she is well over forty.
She still won't just settle for anything. Her issue right now is the manner of approach of the guys lol. I'm serious.

That Pastor and phone number thingy, I just feel that since there are so many males and females right there in front of the Church why not foster some mingling and interaction among them right there?

Incrizz
You can be insistent sha, lol. well, lets say i'm forced to agree with u partially. one thing i've learnt from that example u gave is that women want something, but are not really sure what they want. even when they think they've found what they want in a guy, after some time, they realize there's something else they also want that the guy doesn't have. i've had a personal experience. maybe my views are flawed by that, but i believe that women are, to a greater extent than men, insatiable.
Women behave like a farmer who wants to eat corn, so he walks into his farm to harvest. he searches until finds one he thinks big enough to satisfy his hunger. but as he makes to harvest it, a thought hits him: that there might be a bigger one further on. so he moves on until he finds another big one. he's not sure if its really bigger than the one he left. at this point the only way to be satisfied is get one bigger than these two he has found. and so, on the search goes. . . . . .

Point is, women's minds are easily swayed by what they see, as their soft hearts are wont to yearning for things they dont posses.
Pardon my generalization though. i know THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE DIFFERENT, who know what they want and stand firm when they find it. however, that is a small percentage.

And Incrizz, you no mention the wedding again. e gba mi o, me i wan chop party rice o. i don talk my own

All I can say is that I'm enjoying this thread!

Incrizz, where's your face? Suitors are checking out your profile and seeing someone else there. Not cool.

Aadvark Your farmer analogy is funny but so true. But it's not because they are insatiable.
Women can be satisfied
So I beg to disagree

I think it's a scale of preference thingy.

Ask her to tell you what qualities she desires in a man,
She goes something like, "Doesn't drink, white teeth, Jesus."

Okay, ask her to arrange it in ascending or descending order.
She goes, "Jesus, White teeth, doesn't drink."

Ask her to affix percentages.
She goes, Jesus 90%, White teeth 9%, doesn't drink 1%

So, she meets a man who doesn't drink but realises later on that he really doesn't care about going to church. Lol..

So, she moves on to another, a Christian. But as they relate, she realises that even though he is a cell leader, and the youth leader, and is head of the choir department, he is merely religious. He has no personal relationship with Christ Himself, he doesn't even know who The Holy Spirit really is.
So, she leaves him.
Right?

But you, outside, observing her would think she is confused or insatiable. The truth is that, She, from her own point of view, whether myopic or not, has still not seen that "thing" that she is looking for in a man!
You get?

Also there are some who really don't want to settle down but they just don't know it.
They are independent... They just don't know it.
And because they are also biological, that, interferes.
So when the man comes, their independence feels threatened and they can not deal.

aadvark:
And Incrizz, you no mention the wedding again. e gba mi o, me i wan chop party rice o. i don talk my own

Lol...

kay9:
All I can say is that I'm enjoying this thread!

Incrizz, where's your face? Suitors are checking out your profile and seeing someone else there. Not cool.

Lol...Why do you say that's not me?