Lero15:

Till the Empire is built

What happens after?

davide470:
I am sure quite a number of you JobLanders will agree with me that it’s about time we had a chat room in this section. The most important reason being the constant derailing of serious threads which may span into pages.

Hence forth, IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE: All trivial gists, gossips, discussions, chat-ups, e-toasting etcetera should be done on this thread. Any defaulter to the normal Nairaland rules shall be... well, fill in the Gap. Also, if you have any questions for the Mods, if you want to abuse me / us, please feel free to do it here.

Post whatever you ever wanted or needed to say to your favourite JobLander (whatever that means) outside actual serious Job threads.

You can even hook-up, plan a meeting or a coup, just about anything.

Anyways, enjoy!

wroskian:
After reading Jazmiynne's last diary update, I promised myself to bare my mind on the subject matter raised- cheating; I hope this is not late. I believe a lot of brilliant peeps here have argued back and forth on it, pardon me if I'm over flogging some points, I didn't go through all the comments.

"Why do men cheat?"

It would be apt to say that men don't have the monopoly of cheating as women engage in it as well. So, I think the question should be "Why do people cheat in relationships?"

Looking at it from a psychosocial perspective, I would attribute it to the dysfunctional nature of the perpetrators of this act. I'll explain myself ...

Many factors lead to dysfunctional behavioral patterns in people: negative peer influence, wrong parenting, media, rape, financial pressure et.al
A boy brought up in a home where the father is always battering the mother is most likely to be a wife-beater in future, a girl brought up by a mother who is baby mama to several men is at the risk of ending up in the wrong relationship, children exposed to s3xual habits at an early stage of their lives are likely to become perverts if nothing is done to help them and the instances goes on...

While I totally agree that individuals change at a point in their lives either from good to bad or vice versa due to different variables, I would also posit that our personalities are formed early in life and it is based on the nature of the primary agents of socialization around us, most especially family and peers. This also explains why most drug addicts, hooligans, prostitutes e.t.c are from broken and dysfunctional homes.

However, dysfunctional behavior is no respecter of success or position, one could be successful and still exhibit wrong behaviors. To an extent, cases of top company executives demanding to sleep with their female subordinates in exchange for benefits and wayward children of clergymen largely proves this. If you see a cheat, take a cursory look at the person's life, investigate if you can and see where he/she is coming from.


Is cheating a necessary evil?

While it is necessary for some people due to lack of self-control, greed and those aforementioned factors, I will say it isn't worth it. If you are no longer interested in a relationship, call it quits instead of messing around. I totally agree with the guy that said relationship (or is it marriage) is for men and not boys, I'll also add that it is for matured ladies who can handle it and not girls.

Ability to expel a whitish slippery substance only makes you a "male" and not "a man" as ability to produce eggs makes you a "female" and doesn't validate you for a relationship. A real man should be able to take decisions that are not self-destructive and which would impart positively on his family and a real lady should know what she wants and when she wants it.

Is there something a woman can do to ensure a man doesn't cheat?

This is a difficult question, but my answer is Yes.

- Go into a relationship for the right reasons, don't go into relationships to medicate pain or to cure loneliness, you'll end up being used and dumped.
- Be sure you both share the same values.

Before going into any relationship, ask yourself -

What attracted me to this person? Would I still want to be with him/her if the force of attraction is no longer available? What are his/her flaws? Can I cope with it?

Have a heart-to-heart discussion with your partner before making a lifetime commitment and of course pray
to avoid stories that would make nairaland frontpage.

In conclusion, if you know anyone who is in the habit of cheating, take the person to see a therapist or psychologist. Cheating/infidelity is ungodly and self-destructive especially in marriage, irrespective of what our society has turned out to be.
Children brought up in a cheating atmosphere are likely to grow up emotionally and psychologically crushed, so if not for anything, avoid cheating for the sake of your innocent children.

Happy Weekend Everyone.

Jazmiynne:


Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter.

I think I like the idea of factoring it as a dysfunctional behaviour. Somehow it's really a reflection of who we are and what we accept to be normal. Our individual perception of wrong.
The mindset promoted in the society paints cheating as normal and thus makes it easier for people to cheat because somehow their subconscious has accepted cheating as a necessary evil

May we all find and maintain a love that is ours alone

Jazmiynne:


Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter.

I think I like the idea of factoring it as a dysfunctional behaviour. Somehow it's really a reflection of who we are and what we accept to be normal. Our individual perception of wrong.
The mindset promoted in the society paints cheating as normal and thus makes it easier for people to cheat because somehow their subconscious has accepted cheating as a necessary evil

May we all find and maintain a love that is ours alone

Udochee:


LM u sabi soft rock jare

Jazmiynne:


May we all find and maintain a love that is ours alone

Moyarh:

Amen

Abimbex007:

Oyah come. I'm around today

Abimbex007:

Amen
Happy Sunday Sis

Moyarh:

Lol. Sunday is RestDay

Abimbex007:

Ah wee not play with you again

Jazmiynne:

Moyarh:

Oya, com n rake agbalumo

Abimbex007:

Moyarh:

JazJaz
Bawoni?

Jazmiynne:


Mo wa pa nooni

Adupe fun Olorun

How's the job?