theEYe21:
How does a woman say no in a submissive way?

asuo27:
Nice write up Toks.
I noticed you placed more emphasis on submission, plz! can i ask you something?.

Toks2008:


Fire on.

asuo27:
Base on the first scripture you used " men love your wives as you love yourselves". hope i got that?.

And the second one which says "women should be submissive".

My problem here is "Loyalty is a two way thing", how will a woman be docile while her loving and caring husband cheats on her?.

Toks2008:


Nice question.

The issue of a man cheating will forever be a pain in the minds of many ladies but I'm so so sorry to tell you this truth that submitting to your husband is unconditional.

In submittion you can table your grievances and the fact that your hubby cheats on you is not a ground for disrespect. If you want to leave the union because of that then it's your choice but that must not make you disrespect him.

Your husband is your lord.

asuo27:
Well!, i'm not satisfied by your respond.

Diplomaticbeing:
@OP


Stop sounding like you an authority or one who has monopoly of wisdom.

Your postulation is flawed to someone like me, because I believe that love or submission when given (earned or not), should be maintained so as to sustain it.

Toks2008:


Do you know that you would have made more sense and sounded mature without the first paragraph?

I can't remember ever claiming to have monopoly of anything so why the unwarranted bitter rant?

Please you are a man so comport yourself as one.

ammyluv2002:
Yes! It does make sense, but wives should submit fully to their husbands according to the bible principles. My husband cannot tell me to sleep with his friend & you expect me to submit fully

Diplomaticbeing:


You amuse me. Kindly re-read the first paragrahy of your article and see how self-conceited you appeared.

All the same, no hard feelings. Take care.

asuo27:
Base on the first scripture you used " men love your wives as you love yourselves". hope i got that?.

And the second one which says "women should be submissive".

My problem here is "Loyalty is a two way thing", how will a woman be docile while her loving and caring husband cheats on her?.

Toks2008:
As long as you can not insult your lord you have no right to curse back at your husband even if he rains curses on you

Toks2008:
This does not make you a zombie or a mindless specie but rather it gives you a vantage point in the life of the man.

Is anyone else seeing the contradictions in these posts? all in one breath .

You people do not even realise that y'all have painted our God as an Unfair God with all these baldadash and contradictions/confusions

The God I serve is not unfair nor confused

Toks2008:


Bro I'm so unfettered with negative comments and anytime I respond to one I just do that to correct the poster.

The truth us that I have no business with nairaland asides my passion for freelance writing on romance, religion and politics.

I know what marriage looks and feels like and the best I can do is share my knowledge and experience here and it is the choice of people to contribute or ignore rather than slander or make derogatory remarks.

No hard feelings watsoever. I'm a lover not a fighter.

[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"

Toks2008:


NO BE MY RESPONSE O..NAH BIBLE TALK AM.

Toks2008:

Nice question.
The issue of a man cheating will forever be a pain in the minds of many ladies but I'm so so sorry to tell you this truth that submitting to your husband is unconditional.
In submittion you can table your grievances and the fact that your hubby cheats on you is not a ground for disrespect. If you want to leave the union because of that then it's your choice but that must not make you disrespect him.
Your husband is your lord.

because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

jaybee3:
^^^
Please ask him where he got his experience of marriage from?

Maybe his former life

Berbierklaus:

[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Toks2008:


Nice question.

The issue of a man cheating will forever be a pain in the minds of many ladies but I'm so so sorry to tell you this truth that submitting to your husband is unconditional.

In submittion you can table your grievances and the fact that your hubby cheats on you is not a ground for disrespect. If you want to leave the union because of that then it's your choice but that must not make you disrespect him.

Your husband is your lord.

nma24:
Same should apply to men too... Must ladies swallow bullshit all in d name of marriage?

nma24:
Same should apply to men too... Must ladies swallow bullshit all in d name of marriage?

asuo27:
Nice write up Toks.
I noticed you placed more emphasis on submission, plz! can i ask you something?.

Toks2008:


The bible never instructed wives to swallow bull pooh in the name of marriage but respect, reverence, fear your hubby meaning you can express your anger in a submissive and respectful manner.

My sister this is the ultimate key to marital bliss yet it has become extremely difficult for many ladies and this is why divorce will forever be on the increase.

When a lady says my husband does not love me, it will amaze you that in 90% of the cases it is the lady who ignited that act and just do your findings to confirm.

Toks2008:


The bible never instructed wives to swallow bull pooh in the name of marriage but respect, reverence, fear your hubby meaning you can express your anger in a submissive and respectful manner.

My sister this is the ultimate key to marital bliss yet it has become extremely difficult for many ladies and this is why divorce will forever be on the increase.

When a lady says my husband does not love me, it will amaze you that in 90% of the cases it is the lady who ignited that act and just do your findings to confirm.