Amelian:
Dear op, I understand what you are going. Through but pls do not allow desperation push you to marry someone you have no feelings for. Be patient, continue to work on your qualities, Be the best you can be, pray and be optimistic . The right man meant for u will locate you and marry you as his beloved.
God's time is always the best.
.shalom

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss

seizethaBae:
Thanks sis,but pls is dis my situation normal?

Almaiga:
Hmmmm

gidjah:
You will some day get married bae,you just need to get a lil bit more less strict and reduce your yard lines drawn.i wanna believe fine men come close,but your feelings ain't there,would you want the kind of person you will have feelings for or vice versa?,
Iife is not most times how we want it to get played,love grows with time too, the person you tend not to have feelings for today,might b d one your feelings gets strongest for with time ,that's how love grows .if it grows with time, it will stay permanent,you will have to let your love grow with some nice guy out there,watch it ,tend it,water it and watch it grow to stay forever.you are pretty young,that's why you are still feeling this way,but mind you ,age is never on your side,you grow old daily,watch it,I pray it does get better with you.gat an older sis who was just
LIke you,she started like you,finished her school very young ,na so we talk to her,she go say,'this one ,I don't have feelings for,''that one he is not minding me'..bla bla bla..to make the short story long,my older sis works with the accountant general of the federation as the head,she is well over fourty today but guys have stopped coming!,she is still there with all the comforts she has,was with 'aunty'few days ago, age no be here o, she told me she gets depressed dail over how she has been,and how she has treated guys,..with all the cars and affluence,na only married guys dey show for her side!.her pastor even asked her to keep her cars at home and start trekking may be boys will show up,...for were !!??

gidjah:
You will some day get married bae,you just need to get a lil bit more less strict and reduce your yard lines drawn.i wanna believe fine men come close,but your feelings ain't there,would you want the kind of person you will have feelings for or vice versa?,
Iife is not most times how we want it to get played,love grows with time too, the person you tend not to have feelings for today,might b d one your feelings gets strongest for with time ,that's how love grows .if it grows with time, it will stay permanent,you will have to let your love grow with some nice guy out there,watch it ,tend it,water it and watch it grow to stay forever.you are pretty young,that's why you are still feeling this way,but mind you ,age is never on your side,you grow old daily,watch it,I pray it does get better with you.gat an older sis who was just
LIke you,she started like you,finished her school very young ,na so we talk to her,she go say,'this one ,I don't have feelings for,''that one he is not minding me'..bla bla bla..to make the short story long,my older sis works with the accountant general of the federation as the head,she is well over fourty today but guys have stopped coming!,she is still there with all the comforts she has,was with 'aunty'few days ago, age no be here o, she told me she gets depressed dail over how she has been,and how she has treated guys,..with all the cars and affluence,na only married guys dey show for her side!.her pastor even asked her to keep her cars at home and start trekking may be boys will show up,...for were !!??

ammyluv2002:
Op, let me share this story

I have a friend from school, we were so close back then in school. She was reserved and homely, but suitors weren't coming. She was so worried about the whole thing to a point, she became desperate to settle down yet no serious guy.

After graduation, she decided to say yes to any guy that comes her. Someone linked her up with this dude and after some months he proposed to her. My friend wasn't interested in the guy's attitude or anything, she just wanted to get married. The date for trad was fixed and they got married, after 3 months she left the guy that she can't live with him. I told her if i were to be her dad,she will remain in that marriage cause i warned her.




My dear, God will bring the right husband at the right time. Don't put your life on hold just to please the people around. Live your life in all fulness & don't allow such to bother. Yes, you're ripe for marriage but it will come when the time is right , but for now perpare yourself while you pray for the right guy. Work on your flaws to make yourself the right woman, travel if you have the resources. Make yourself very pleasant to the eyes, socialise, dress smart, hang out with friends just live your normal life. Whether we like it or not, God has the finally say in every aspect of our lives all we need to do is to do our part and leave the rest to Him.

seizethaBae:
Thanks so much for this; @bolded; i would love it both ways i.e the kind of person that i have feelings for and also have feelings for me. Honestly stories like that of your aunt scares me every single day, and if i said i shld go with someone i dont love now hoping love will grow with time,wat if it doesnt?. The ex of mine i talkd about,i dated him for good 3yrs! wishing/praying to God for me to like him,it dint just happen.

seizethaBae:
I dont even know where to start or how to explain what my problem is,hopefully i get lucky for the 'problem' to be 'diagnosed'. Im a 27yrs old lady,finished uni very very early and i've been extremely lucky with almost everything in life,but to get a suitor and settle down na palava. Friends/family members keep saying im too choosy or not serious. Honestly,I AM NOT choosy.When the one thing i fast/pray for is for God to link me with the bone of my bone very soon,i even gave up my travelling plans in order to increase my chances of finding a future patner(i know you can meet ur patner anywhere,but na just to shut up pple wey don tink say i no dey serious),a close friend even suggested i pend my 'work-from-home business',look for job so i can be leaving d house,and i got lucky within a month or two of dusting my CV i got a fantastic high paid job with no connection(honestly i've always been so lucky when i ask God for anything but i have no idea why he is delaying this). I just dont know how to explain it,the ones i like doesnt like me and the ones i dont have single feelings for will do anything to wife me. Im not desperate or something,i just want to reach out if im d only one having dis problem. There was even a time i made up my mind to accept an ex proposal even tho i have no single feeling for him,i kept hoping/fasting/praying for a miracle to happen so i can atleast like him(even if its 20%) bcus hes just too PERFECT,but it dint just happen. My type of man doesnt need to be extremely rich,tall,handsome like most ladies dream man.He should just be neat,God fearing and have something upstairs biko (i love intelligent guys).Back to the main reason why i created this post; Married women/mature lady out there,has this ever happen to you? I really envy people that love their patners and they are loved back equally. Married women pls im waiting to hear from you.

And for most people that will think im looking for a rich guy,believe me i once met a guy that was willing to sponsor my M.Sc in UK if i can be his Mrs,but i will never engage in anything that will bring curse on my head.So my problem is not even money.Im so sick and tired

ammyluv2002:
Op, let me share this story

I have a friend from school, we were so close back then in school. She was reserved and homely, but suitors weren't coming. She was so worried about the whole thing to a point, she became desperate to settle down yet no serious guy.

After graduation, she decided to say yes to any guy that comes her. Someone linked her up with this dude and after some months he proposed to her. My friend wasn't interested in the guy's attitude or anything, she just wanted to get married. The date for trad was fixed and they got married, after 3 months she left the guy that she can't live with him. I told her if i were to be her dad,she will remain in that marriage cause i warned her.




My dear, God will bring the right husband at the right time. Don't put your life on hold just to please the people around. Live your life in all fulness & don't allow such to bother. Yes, you're ripe for marriage but it will come when the time is right , but for now perpare yourself while you pray for the right guy. Work on your flaws to make yourself the right woman, travel if you have the resources. Make yourself very pleasant to the eyes, socialise, dress smart, hang out with friends just live your normal life. Whether we like it or not, God has the finally say in every aspect of our lives all we need to do is to do our part and leave the rest to Him.

Chubhie:
You place premium on intelligence.Has it occurred to you that your ideal husband could be too busy locked away with passion in putting his intelligence to work?

Paths MUST be crossed either through angelic orchestration or self-help.

Dont appear desperate cos an intelligent dude can spot such from one mile radius.

Look for locations or places you feel your ideal intelligent dudes congregate and adapt to such environments.

Iron sharpens iron.you MUST first become that which you desperately seek.

It must be a give and take situation with that which you seek or you end up bored and miserable with them.

Can you be comfortable with a Seun sitting in front of his computer all day and coding in alien languages without having his bath?

You talk of an ex being all perfect yet you can't love him? You must understand that love is a fleeting sensation and barely enough to see you through marriage.

If that your ex ticks all the other boxes why not work on yourself and reconsider him?

You can not have everything on a plater of gold else that's rigging from your maker.

Perhaps,your maker is looking up to you to make this one decision.Such a wise God!

seizethaBae:
Thanks all for your kind and wise advice.I really appreciate. @Chubhie;God bless you for putting up that piece together,indeed such a wise God we serve. But y wld i pray to God for 3solid years to have feelings for someone,did everytin possible for me not to lose this great guy,I TRIED I REALLY TRIED,yet nothing happen?. I really cant go deep discussing that relationship bcus he is a nairalander(he might put one or two tins togeda and figure out its me),but just picture NO SINGLE FEELINGS AT ALL,NONE THAT CAN EVEN MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK FOR 24HRS hence i treat him as i want,even tho im not a bad person dat treat people anyhow.

Nancy2016:


I agree with most of what you said except the part where you say "love is a fleeting sensation". That's not true. True love never dies. Why do you think more and more women are cheating? This is because a lot of them for whatever reasons got married to men they didn't love. Women are emotional beings and are always in search of love. If a woman has no love for her husband she is prone to temptation. A lot of times you hear women cheated with their exes. This is because they still are in love with these men. I will always advise women that if you have no feelings for a man, please do both of you a favour, end the relationship and let that man find his rightful partner.

Chubhie:

By fleeting sensations I meant non permanence.Love should be a necessary condition to broker marriage but not enough to last the distance cos feelings as emotions changes with time.

Even true love dies! Some women genuinely love their husbands yet sleep with other men out of pleasure,money,revenge,tricked into it,medical purposes etc.

seizethaBae:
if u guys no d level of my seriousness walah iu wont take it as a joke. shams040 im not here to look for patner/husband but to find experience pple to diagnose what could be wrong with me or if it happens to most ladies before they settle down. Experience pple pls respond plsssss