CindyeMerAld:

what of if ur husband is shouting and raising his voice at u,u shld be submissive...OR what of if he wants 2 beat u,u shld submit to the beating as per goat na

Lol.

You can walk out. Its your choice.

Not holding brief for the man though but something led to the shouting and 'wanting tto beat'

some ladies here lack understanding. Have you ever heard of a lasting relationship that didn't involve submission. That's how men will continue to use ladies and dumb them.
No matter how you try to sugarcoat the truth , it will always be the truth. Your submission to your husband is not earned. The bible says do it as unto the lord.
You hardly talk about without mentioning Abraham and Sarah.
Sarah submitted to Abraham and called him "my lord" How many women can do that? I have seen how some women disrespect their husbands even in public.
Abraham loved sarah teaching men how they ought to love their wife.
But just know this that submission to your husband is without any condition.

Berbierklaus:

[b]Grandpa no one asked you for your life history,so please relax and take to corrections.

if You were my husband/boyfriend,I would have told You to "shutup and listen" I said "Relax" coz You are my grandpa

Now to the argument You both are having,Everyone has an opinion,trust me I have come to understand You and your writeups,(You are only been realistic while most of us are striving to be idealistic).The challenge is finding a balance because all these rules and regulations for marriages and relationships are unique to every relationship,some men don't take NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b]

Finally, someone with understanding speaks. It isn't just enough to get wisdom. God bless you for speaking my mind.

repogirl:
but isn't it the man who is supposed to love and the woman who is supposed to submit?

Both should submit and love themselves.

But when it comes between a man and a woman, naturally, a man expects submission from his wife. You just can't take that away from him.

But you can help mould a caring and loving generation of men as a woman when you have your son by teaching him how and why he should love his woman.

NO,no matter how submissive the wife is(been realistic,I'm sure You will agree with me) and some men are in awe or their wives and a very agressive NO will do the trick(I'm been realistic),so the problem I have with most of your rightups is that "they are not a standard for relationships,coz every relationship is unique" but from your tone of words,You type like that's all that should be done because it is in the "BIBLE" forgetting that even Jesus said in "MARK 2:27" The sabbath(law) was made for man not man for the sabbath(law),
meaning most of this bible injunctions can be used uniquely not universally. (I hope You know what happened in that verse and why he made that statement?).


secondly,I want to say I agree with your rightup once again,although it is a little bit flawed "to me". Any idiot can see the emphasis You made on "WIVES SUBMISSION" I think its good but I also think it would have been appropriate if You emphasized as much on the "HUSBAND's LOVE". (I think this is where most relationship experts get it wrong).

Now lets use the scripture You qouted as an example,did You realise that Ephesians 5:33 has two parts(part A and B)
Did You realise that part A was talking to the husband?
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself
Did You realise that the bible spoke to the husband first? That tells You that Submission is "EARNED" so its flawed for You to say "THE BIBLE SAID THAT THE WIFE MUST BE SUBMISSIVE TO HER HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT"







because grandpa,the bible has put an unspoken condition in that verse,(You can't respect/submit to your abusive father,You "FEAR" him,likewise if You say wives should be submissive unconditionally,You are only telling her to "FEAR" him,that is not submission according to the bible)

Part B
Ephesians 5:33
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord

Every man that loves his wife,automatically has earned her respect and submission,it is a known fact,and a man that doesn't love his wife(cheating on her "glaringly" abuse her,doesn't do his roles as a husband etc) will be "FEARED" not respected/submitted to).

So grandpa,all this tunranchi is what the bible is preaching(Idealistic) not what our pastors are interpreting the bible to, not what You have interpreted the bible to,which is sadly the (realistic) point of what we have in the world today because our religious leaders have knowingly or unknowingly led some men astray by repeatedly preaching and emphasizing on "SUBMISSION" while skimming through "LOVE".

The kingdom of God is a hot race,I fear for most people,as I have come to a stage in my salvation where,I read and ask the holy spirit to interpret and explain what this really means to me,instead of listening to one marriage counsel/counsellor and corrupting my heavenly journey .

I hope You will settle down and read my epistle,and may the holy spirit help You to realise the truth.[/b][/i]

[/quote]

May God bless you.

Yes. It does make a sense. Thank you.

ElsonMorali:


Let me break it down for you dear.

Marry a man you know will love you and you only. And not because he has money.

Marry him because he has qualities you admire and respect. Then it will be easy to be submissive to him.

Where in my post did you see money?

I think you are using submission like you would use the word ‘respect'. People who scream submission do not believe in ‘do unto others what you want them to do to you'. A man that respects himself and perform his duties would command respect and same goes for a woman who respects herself and perform her wifely duties.

Ambition is a contributory factor to ego . Both genders are guilty of being disrespectful when they feel like they are better than their significant other.

LynnPetra:
I still belive that wives should respect their husbands and be submissive. Unfortunately, the power of such submission lies In the hands of the husband who must first love the wife as Christ love the church. That's why I love matured men who understands the philosophy of "Do to others what you want them to do to you". You can't disrespect your wife and expects her to be submissive. The world is changing already, men now wants women to contribute both financially and otherwise to the home, and some women who are ambitious will find it difficult being submissive. Personally, I also demand respect from my man and sometimes I enforce it ,dammit!

Finally, I believe there are men that naturally commands submission from their wives because they play their roles well.It just comes flawlessly. A wise husband don't have any business with a wife who doesn't submit.

ItsQuinn:
can you please give some examples of the submissive wives in the bible so that I can read more on it, thank you

The life of Abraham and Sarah are the foundations of marriages. Abraham slept with Hagar although at Sarah's instruction but still she submitted.
Today she is credited for it and everybody calls her the mother of all nations.

I don't like you. Stop quoting me.

kaboninc:


It is people like you who submit the most.

doveda:
I think you are using submission like you would use the word ‘respect'. People who scream submission do not believe in ‘do unto others what you want them to do to you'. A man that respects himself and perform his duties would command respect and same goes for a woman who respects herself and perform her wifely duties.

Ambition is a contributory factor of pride and arrogance. Both genders are guilty of being disrespectful when they feel like they are better than their significant other.

This is where people miss it. Submission to your husband is a commandment.

mhizcovy:


toks n his endless theoretical lectures... well iv a little modification or more or less of a counsel sef..pls wen ur married..lovv ur wife first ..not just romantic one alone..develop loyal lov for her n watch her reciprocate by bin submissive.u people should stop watering down on the gravity of adultery. it is a big SIN.d only scriptural ground for divorce ..cheating by either of d spouse is sooo UNACCEPTABLE .gracias

So if your husband is determined to kill you and frustrate the hell out of your life, would you continue in the marriage?

CFCman:


If you don't mind, What type of foreign guys do you like?

the ones that don't require me to pound yam and can have an intellectual conversation without sounding like a 17th century being

Good for you!

BornInApril:
This is where people miss it. Submission to your husband is a commandment.

theEYe21:
How does a woman say no in a submissive way?

Ultimate submission is to God let ur conscience and Bible guide ur submission to ur husband

Toks2008:



Here you are as zebudia use to say.

Sometimes when i create some threads and some people just barge in to curse and attack me i just laugh calmly because i know that most people who abuse me for my no holds bar threads today will likely remember it in the nearest future.

I presume you must be a very married lady because your insightful comment depicts it. Nice submission.

thanks. it's only that I've seen what patience and submission can fetch one. it works for me

doveda:
I don't like you. Stop quoting me.

Lol. Its like you know me.

Well I don't know you and so I'll quote you because I love you.

Oya, how old are you?

There is an hierarchy of authority in the home.
God has parents authority over their children. So children are expected to submit to their parents.
same way God has given husbands authority over their wife. And she is expected to submit to him.

pepigeorge:


if u submit fully to your husband, he won't cheat on u

If I hear .....what of Sarah that submitted fully to Abraham nko? Make I hear word

safarigirl:
the ones that don't require me to pound yam and can have an intellectual conversation without sounding like a 17th century being

What about engaging a house help to pound the yam?

safarigirl:
the ones that don't require me to pound yam and can have an intellectual conversation without sounding like a 17th century being

So there are no Nigerian guys?

Laido:
.

You know Men will always be Men , But eventually nko?? What's good will always remain what's good??.

Plz ma'am. Just saw you profile and saw where you are.. Plannin to come to the states right after my degree, plz ma'am, some good tips you can actually tell me to enhance the process ??

At bolded, there is no point in submitting to a man if "men will always be men" regardless of submission. The woman might as well do whatever she likes.

Are you coming to the US to further your studies? If you are, the most important thing you can do is go through the US student visa threads in the travel section. Start from the first one and read them all. They have all the resources you need. Any questions you might have now have been thoroughly dealt with and more. Plus, you will be reading from people who have personally gone through the process.

BornInApril:
This is where people miss it. Submission to your husband is a commandment.

oh? Where exactly is that under the ten commandments?

ItsQuinn:
If I hear .....what of Sarah that submitted fully to Abraham nko? Make I hear word

Abraham did not cheat. Sarah took hagar to abraham and ask him to sleep with her. that's not cheating.

Toks2008:


LOBATAN!

you and post man are the best, the first thing is a man or a woman should love God and fear God, when a man or a woman loves God and fears God it would then be easy to keep His commandments on marriage.
A man should love his wife, unconditionally(wethert He submits to him or not), because he loves and fears God and wants to please keep His commandment and please Him in all things.
A woman also shoukd submit herself unconditionally to her husbamd( whether he loves her or not) . She is not doing it for his sake, she is doing it because first she loves God and fears Him, and has to keep His commandements

kaboninc:


So there are no Nigerian guys?

I don't know, the ones I see on NL give me no hope. I can literally count the sensible Nigerian guys on NL

Toks2008:


Do you know that you would have made more sense and sounded mature without the first paragraph?

I can't remember ever claiming to have monopoly of anything so why the unwarranted bitter rant?

Please you are a man so comport yourself as one.

I swear!!!

odohemma:


What about engaging a house help to pound the yam?

how about engaging the man to pound the yam?

In my family, it's the men that pound yam because it's strenuous activity and I'm skinny as a twig anyway, can barely wrap my hands around a pestle handle

The problem is we are in a more expose society, where women want to be like men in every way.... Most women will not agree with the op, submission doesn't mean slavery, Some feminists go to great lengths to try to argue that the Greek word for “head” means “source” and carries no notion of authority. Which is ludicrous. A loving, sensitive husband will not force his wife to do anything against God’s will, and he will not push her into anything distasteful or harmful to her. He will never assert his authority to get his own way. When there are disagreements, they should be worked through calmly in love. In making decisions, a wise husband will solicit and carefully weigh his wife’s insights, so that most decisions will be
mutually agreed on.Submission should not be abused by husbands... If only husbands and wives follow this simple instruction by God, there will be absolute happiness and joy in such marriages....

safarigirl:
oh? Where exactly is that under the ten commandments?

what I really meant was that submitting to your husband is without a condition. Let it be as unto God. Do it because God has instructed you to even when he is not acting how you want him to act. And I tell you there is a reward for that.
Same way men were instructed to love their wife in all conditions.

safarigirl:
I don't know, the ones I see on NL give me no hope. I can literally count the sensible Nigerian guys on NL

NL is just a small community. Maybe too, you've been coming in contact with these guys who give you no hope.