repogirl:
okay.....as a man expects submission, a woman expects to be loved, you also can't take that from her.

Then again, about me teaching my son how to love.... shouldn't that be his father's job, since boys are more likely to learn from their fathers by emulating their attitude?

Yes you can't take that away from her...and also a man expects to be loved too. Forget all those mancho mancho shenanigans.

It should be a job for both couples. A father teaches his son based on what he knows, how he feels and how he responds especially to emotions. A woman should also do the same to her son, teaching him how to treat a woman using herself as 'test' subject. A man's first wife is always his mom. His second are his sisters.

Also, because a man could not show his son how to treat and respect a woman, you the wife should not, and must never use that as an excuse not to teach your son how best to treat a woman.

Gboyee4fun:




may God blesses you richly.

Amen bro..the unfortunate twist is that only few ladies who got the message appreciated while many ladies wjo are either still single or have gone through series of affairs keep bashing me. This is a clear signal that many ladies should remain single fore life rather than make themselves an object of ridicule by getting divorced.

If you refuse to submit to your man then you will continue to jump from one man to another because after the initial gragra wears out from the new man, he will get to know your real color and dish you for another lady.

I am not begging any lady to be submissive but i will urge the stubborn ones to continue in their delusion until they realize how late it has become.

This is an excerpt from my write up.

"No woman has any business with marriage or any serious romantic affair with a man until she is ready to "submit,honor,respect,reverence her husband to the maximum level just as she will respect the lord.Show me a submissive woman and I will show you a peaceful and lasting union.Being submissive does not mean you should obey your man blindly or go against the commandments of GOD neither does it make you a zombie or a mindless person but it means being meek,humble and serene even when you disagree with your man as many times as possible.Believe it or not,no matter how many relationships you get involved in,you will always have issues if you don't learn how to submit yourself to your man".

I still wonder what on earth is wrong with this simple lines.

I also wrote

"And as the man,for whatever reason you choose to marry that lady, if you are not ready to love that woman with her imperfections and without exception with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness all the days of your life please don't propose marriage to her".

The problem with many people is that they are too lazy to read and some who take time to read usually finds it hard to comprehend except few ..

LynnPetra:


My man is my Lord, my partner is my king. Do you know why I say so? Because he deserves it . calling him such names means he is matured and flexible. I have never disrespected my man and sleep well, EVEN when he forgives me. I don't have any issue submitting to somebody like that, in fact what can I hold against him? The issue here is, does the said man deserves a submissive wife? No body is perfect, of course, but it's wise to acknowledge that one will/may be treated as he/she treats others. There are way matured folks who still go out of their way give to reverence to those who don't deserve it, those are the people that can withstand major turbulence in marriage. Those are the people I can take marital advice from and learn from, not all these half baked marriage experimentalists, who lost the battle even before it started.

I still hold traditional values of marriage, and I prefer it that way. If I can kneel to show everyone who my husband is as tradition demands, then I will continue to kneel for as long as I can for HIM . BUT HE MUST DESERVE IT. Being submissive is a very small thing, it's just that many men enforce it with their bad characters. We are all human beings, no body loves being disrespected, irrespective of gender.

I like your honesty. Men love your wife and women submit. SImple.

Toks2008:


Did you say alone?

Im sorry to say this.... i am too cute,intelligent,financially stable and confident to be alone.

If you must know i could have a 3some every night and each night if i so desire so please stop fooling yourself with a presumed perception of who toks is.

I have a passion for writing and all i write here is independent of my persona but because you are not intelligent enough to understand my threads you will always troll. It is because of this anomaly in our today's world that has kept me from picking a lady yet.

If you must know, i am not on nairaland to look for a woman and i have never wooed any lady on nairaland in my 9years of membership.

I really pity the type of men or women that will make the big mistake of marrying an unintelligent person because that is a disaster.

Please tell me what on earth is the problem with this thread rather than troll.

I hate trolls.

..One of your biggest problems is that you talk and blab too much..and because you talk too much,half of what you say usually deserves the trash can..

..It was you who flooded Nairaland in the past(like you do now) lamenting and regaling all who cared to read on how your wife left you for another man...that is how i and countless others got to know your 'woman' problems...or you wanna deny that?..but thats a story for another day.


.....The truth of the matter is that you know nothing about relationships and marriage if its based on the craps you post all over Nairaland in the name of 'counsellorship'..

..Tokunbo you are not an authority on marriage and relationships because your views about women are twisted and warped..Therefore respect yourself and stop this nonsense.

doveda:
I think you are using submission like you would use the word ‘respect'. People who scream submission do not believe in ‘do unto others what you want them to do to you'. A man that respects himself and perform his duties would command respect and same goes for a woman who respects herself and perform her wifely duties.

Ambition is a contributory factor to ego . Both genders are guilty of being disrespectful when they feel like they are better than their significant other.

Lol. Submission is a simple thing dear . Do you know why it seems hard? It's because misogynistic men don't want to appear effeminate as a result of their insecurities and failures. They want to enforce it rather than let it come to them naturally by what they dish out.

Believe me, even crazier women submit.
I'm a true testimony to that at least .

Abegi!!! Who said a woman & a man r nt equal? Both r equal & shld enta marriage wt d mindset of loving, respecting & submitting 2 each oda. U cnt tell a woman 2 submit 2 a man who's nt ready 2 submit 2 her also. Marriage is an equal partnership. Both parties shld b able 2 do their part 2 make it good. When I hear d hell a lot of married women go through in d hands of their husband all in d name of submission, I fume inwardly. It's almost akin 2 slavery. When I hear some men saying things lyk dey can't assist in house chores or its an insult 2 cook 4 their wives, I feel lyk gvn dem hard knock.

Toks2008:


This is why i have resorted to getting a village uneducated lady as a wife because some of these ladies are more intelligent than many so called educated ladies.

Please can you make intelligent submissions like some smart and brainy ladies have done on this thread? I am definitely positive that you did not read the thread as usual but barge in to comment.

Even if you are too lazy to read at least try and read a paragraph every hour before making comments.

lol
bro brilliance is by books and intelligence is not.

There is no perfect human on earth, no not one.
When it comes to the issue of marriage we all need to go back to the originator of marriage, God.

Whatsoever you ask of Him, He will do it!

Ask for your wife from Him, He will give her to you.

By the grace of God I have been married for 15yrs and is like I just got married few days ago. It has to be God.

All I did then and still doing is study the word of God, read books on marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly which is helping me by the day.

Thank you for this.

Beamborla:
The problem is trying to hinge one on the other. Let husbands love their wives come what may and women submit to their husbands come what may.

The OP is emphasizing on the woman's submittion while excusing the man's inability to love is wife on the basis that she's not submissive.

The Bible mandated both parties to play their roles and did not give any condition whatsoever. Even the most unruly man wants submission when he's not playing his part and the OP is justifying it making them believe they need not be good. Wait for your wife to submit before loving her and even if you don't treat her right, suffer not yourself, she must submit.

The Bible has placed the man as the leader and Lord the house, no problem. How many men are ready to be a leader and not a boss? Don't forget that to be a leader, you'd have to serve your subjects first and always. I'm not denying that some women are poison as well.

But a biased writeup of this nature will do more harm than good. OP, your writeup is biased.

Since she must submit even if he's not worth it, do you agree that he must love and treat her right even if she's not submissive?

Sugar bee,

The write-up is not biased joor.

So you mean you won't submit to me?

Women should submit to their husband. The subject for if the man should love his wife or not is for another day. But common sense would dictate that a man should love his wife.

Truth also is that a man expects submission whether the woman likes it or not. And if she doesn't like it, then the choices is hers to leave. Shikena!!!!!!

Lastly, submission is a human thing, not exclusive to the man but also to the woman especially among her peers.

gemale:
Abegi!!! Who said a woman & a man r nt equal? Both r equal & shld enta marriage wt d mindset of loving, respecting & submitting 2 each oda. U cnt tell a woman 2 submit 2 a man who's nt ready 2 submit 2 her also. Marriage is an equal partnership. Both parties shld b able 2 do their part 2 make it good. When I hear d hell a lot of married women go through in d hands of their husband all in d name of submission, I fume inwardly. It's almost akin 2 slavery. When I hear some men saying things lyk dey can't assist in house chores or its an insult 2 cook 4 their wives, I feel lyk gvn dem hard knock.

It seems you know little of scripture.
The woman was created for the man. Let us make man a helper. And the bible also says the desire of the woman shall be for her husband. How to please her husband.

LynnPetra:


Lol. Submission is a simple thing dear . Do you know why it seems hard? It's because misogynistic men generally (sic) don't want to appear effeminate as a result of their insecurities and failures. They want to enforce it rather than let it come to them naturally by what they dish out.

Believe me, even crazier women submit.
I'm a true testimony to that at least .

Sorry...

freecocoa:
To be submissive, you practically have to be a zombie, so unless you want a zombie for a wife, shut up about submission already.

no wonder you are still single at 46

odohemma:


LOL. Didn't say you (or the woman) should pound, but what if the man is at work? Is it a biggie to engage someone else to do the pounding?

P.S: In my place, the man is to pound if he is available.

I don't like the idea of maids generally.

Pounded yam will not be eaten on week days, simple

Ngokafor:





..One of your biggest problems is that you talk and blab too much..and because you talk too much,half of what you say usually deserves the trash can..

..It was you who flooded Nairaland in the past(like you do now) lamenting and regaling all who cared to read on how your wife left you for another man...that is how i and countless others got to know your 'woman' problems...or you wanna deny that?..but thats a story for another day.


.....The truth of the matter is that you know nothing about relationships and marriage if its based on the craps you post all over Nairaland in the name of 'counsellorship'..

..Tokunbo you are not an authority on marriage and relationships because your views about women are twisted and warped..Therefore respect yourself and stop this nonsense.

I dont know your gender but Now i can see a perfect picture of who you are...You are the jobless full housewife or jobless guy who goes about spreading unfounded stories.

I can not remember ever writing that my wife left for another man and i give you the whole day to dig into my past posts to bring that out.

Your problem is apparent...you are frustrated probably because you have been jilted many times. Please i beg you, im not the cause of your problem so dont come online to pour your frustrations on me.


My life is an open book and if i must write threads about romance i believe it is imperative to talk about my personal life but that does not give you the right to start imagining crazy stories that never happened.

No lady has never left me for another man so get your facts right and stop your low life disposition online.

I have told you on several occasions when you barge into my threads to troll that there is an easier way of ignoring without disgrtacing yourself just as you have successfully done once more today.

I am happy that the mods usually put my name after my threads so whenever you see toks just ignore and scroll down to view other threads.

If your act of trolling is to get my attention then im so sorry i cant date your type because you are not intellectually sound enough and if you are a man please get off my threads.

Have a nice day.

lolamitayo:
There is no perfect human on earth, no not one.
When it comes to the issue of marriage we all need to go back to the originator of marriage, God.

Whatsoever you ask of Him, He will do it!

Ask for your wife from Him, He will give her to you.

By the grace of God I have been married for 15yrs and is like I just got married few days ago. It has to be God.

All I did then and still doing is study the word of God, read books on marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly which is helping me by the day.

Thank you for this.

I Connect To This Grace.

nigeriafarmer:
no wonder you are still single at 46

take it easy

DonBobes:


Wher my wife de self @ oluwacyris1

Am here olowo orimi, my gold

Toks2008:


My sis you are right to believe my thread is biased but the sincere truth is that it is not.

The first step for a woman to live a happy life in this cruel world of men is to see herself as an endangered specie.Indeed it is a cruel world of men so if you refuse to submit because a man is not living up to expectation you will be the one to lose at the end and i have seen many ladies who think they are so hot and would leave their marriage in a jiffy but i always tell these ladies that its a move in futility because each man you meet will always have a character you must tolerate and when these ladies get to certain ages they become so vulnerable and lonely and will not mind to take worse shits.


I have my reasons for directing my threads to ladies more because if they can try to get it right then they will be happier. Men are stubborn and even if you preach to them,that crazy ego will still override them so the best is to preach to ladies who seem to be more receptive.

Datzall

ElsonMorali:


I guess you mean the Bible was also saying poo when it specifically asked the woman to be submissive to her husband.

Maybe what you're saying is that God didn't know what he was talking about in Genesis when he said the woman would be under the authority of the man.

You know the problem of ladies nowadays? Pride. I believe that was the cause of Satan's fall right?

You know the bible also said love your wife as Christ loves the church right?? Why are you ignoring that and only concentrating on the submissive part. The Bible makes us understand that marriage is a two way thing from both parties, be submissive to your husbands (wives), love your wives (husbands). If you love your wife, you won't cheat on her, you won't disrespect her, her opinion will matter in your decision making in fact you won't make major decisions without consulting her 1st cos both of you are partners, you will compromise to her favour sometimes and she will do the same for you as well, then watch if she won't respect you. that's my point. It takes both partners to respect each other for a marriage to work.

nigeriafarmer:
no wonder you are still single at 46

If your life depends on me getting married, be rest assured I'd die a spinster, hahaha.

LynnPetra:


My man is my Lord, my partner is my king. Do you know why I say so? Because he deserves it . calling him such names means he is matured and flexible. I have never disrespected my man and sleep well, EVEN when he forgives me. I don't have any issue submitting to somebody like that, in fact what can I hold against him? The issue here is, does the said man deserves a submissive wife? No body is perfect, of course, but it's wise to acknowledge that one will/may be treated as he/she treats others. There are way matured folks who still go out of their way give to reverence to those who don't deserve it, those are the people that can withstand major turbulence in marriage. Those are the people I can take marital advice from and learn from, not all these half baked marriage experimentalists, who lost the battle even before it started.

I still hold traditional values of marriage, and I prefer it that way. If I can kneel to show everyone who my husband is as tradition demands, then I will continue to kneel for as long as I can for HIM . BUT HE MUST DESERVE IT. Being submissive is a very small thing, it's just that many men enforce it with their bad characters. We are all human beings, no body loves being disrespected, irrespective of gender.

everyone deserves to be respected and loved no matter how good or bad they are. It's called humility

doveda:
We can be of help you know

lolz

Toks2008:


I dont know your gender but Now i can see a perfect picture of who you are...You are the jobless full housewife or jobless guy who goes about spreading unfounded stories.

I can not remember ever writing that my wife left for another man and i give you the whole day to dig into my past posts to bring that out.

Your problem is apparent...you are frustrated probably because you have been jilted many times. Please i beg you, im not the cause of your problem so dont come online to pour your frustrations on me.


My life is an open book and if i must write threads about romance i believe it is imperative to talk about my personal life but that does not give you the right to start imagining crazy stories that never happened.

No lady has never left me for another man so get your facts right and stop your low life disposition online.

I have told you on several occasions when you barge into my threads to troll that there is an easier way of ignoring without disgrtacing yourself just as you have successfully done once more today.

I am happy that the mods usually put my name after my threads so whenever you see toks just ignore and scroll down to view other threads.

If your act of trolling is to get my attention then im so sorry i cant date your type because you are not intellectually sound enough and if you are a man please get off my threads.

Have a nice day.

....Agbaya liar..who is jobless between you and i??..you sleep on Nairaland posting crap after crap in the name of advice and you talk about jobless..foolish man,keep disgracing your old self here lying and spitting trash..mumu..

..Have a nice idle time on Nairaland.

chai!

nigeriafarmer:
no wonder you are still single at 46

Even queen Elizabeth refused to get married because she knows she is expected to submit to the authority of her husband.
Ladies never get married if you are not ready to submit.

Toks2008:


This is why i have resorted to getting a village uneducated lady as a wife because some of these ladies are more intelligent than many so called educated ladies.

Please can you make intelligent submissions like some smart and brainy ladies have done on this thread? I am definitely positive that you did not read the thread as usual but barge in to comment.

Even if you are too lazy to read at least try and read a paragraph every hour before making comments.

Pls marry a village girl you can maltreat and disrespect cos no learned person will even look at you 2ce. I read your post very well and even read your comments and it made me very upset, you are saying even if a man cheats the woman should still be calm and submissive and being submissive to your husband is unconditional but a man loving his wife is conditional on her submitting to him. For Christ sake what kind of rubbish talk is this? do you know that women are humans with feelings too how do you expect a woman to respect a man who does not respect her when she is not a robot, respect is earned. Both parties need to respect each other, a husband should not make any major decision without consulting his wife and vice versa and if one party is not happy about a decision, the other should think twice before implementing it or give it up completely, in marriage both parties should be ready to make compromise and sacrifice for the other, the man should not lord it over his wife and always have the final say or insist his decision is final. I learnt this from the best couple in the world "my awesome parents".

lolamitayo:
There is no perfect human on earth, no not one.
When it comes to the issue of marriage we all need to go back to the originator of marriage, God.

Whatsoever you ask of Him, He will do it!

Ask for your wife from Him, He will give her to you.

By the grace of God I have been married for 15yrs and is like I just got married few days ago. It has to be God.

All I did then and still doing is study the word of God, read books on marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly which is helping me by the day.

Thank you for this.

I wish you 1,000years more happy married life enjoyment

BornInApril:
It seems you know little of scripture.
The woman was created for the man. Let us make man a helper. And the bible also says the desire of the woman shall be for her husband. How to please her husband.

woman

BornInApril:
take it easy

I hear you bro

kaboninc:


Yes you can't take that away from her...and also a man expects to be loved too. Forget all those mancho mancho shenanigans.

It should be a job for both couples. A father teaches his son based on what he knows, how he feels and how he responds especially to emotions. A woman should also do the same to her son, teaching him how to treat a woman using herself as 'test' subject. A man's first wife is always his mom. His second are his sisters.

Also, because a man could not show his son how to treat and respect a woman, you the wife should not, and must never use that as an excuse not to teach your son how best to treat a woman.

well said.

jeff1993:
............ Bro u are correct ..... May God increase ur knowledge ...... I had an encounter wit one of d most brilliant economics of our time ....... I travelled wit my frnd to his villa ..... during d course of d travel we went to visit mrs okonjo Iweala ........ Do u knw dis woman still serves her husband food .....even as popular as she is!!! ..... even kneeling down a little when serving d food!!! ... I was so awed ...... I pray to God that women of dis generation wud take a cue from women of past generation n learn how it is done!!!!!

Can you imagine?

That is a woman who has gotten to the zenith of her career yet you see many young ladies who should rather calm down to learn asking for my head simply because i am revealing to them the ultimate secret of marital longevity or even courtship sustainability.

I know many ladies bashing me for my threads will surely remember the facts latter...its a matter of time.

It's actually 2am where I am, and this thread has kept me awake till now. It's been fun reading different opinions on the issue. However, I frown at people that insult others in passing their opinions. If you don't agree with others opinions, ignore what they say or state your counter opinion intelligently and move on. We cannot all sleep and face the same side

NB: I think the most important factor in marriage is wisdom in living amicably with one's partner.

*Throw in the towel* Time to sleep, work in 6 hours