This is my story has it is happening right now to me.

I have known my fiance for about 5 years now, and never really liked him at first but after much proposing I agreed to date him has long as it will lead to marriage at the beginning of this year and he agreed. The love grew so much to a point that I began to ask myself why didn't I agree to date him sooner, he was a dream come true. He did everything to show his seriousness about us, like visit my village, get me a beautiful engagement ring and all.

Now he traveled to the US to further his studies and things were going very well. He is gradually doing well and because he is working part time and has carried me along by helping me pay for catering school, start a business here and do my international passport because he has plans for me to travel to the US this December for Christmas holiday.

Problem started when he called me to beg me to forgive him for a mistake he has made by getting a girl pregnant over there and the girls family wants them to get married. He is begging me to forgive him for all the promises he made to me about wanting to spend his life with me. He is claiming it was never his intention to hurt me or leave me for someone else but the condition he found himself in.
I still love him and can't believe this is happening to me but most especially, how do I move on and love again. He said something about I can keep the business and forgive him and not lay any curse on him for breaking my heart, he wants us to end the engagement on good terms, and if I need help with anything I should feel free to contact him, he still wants me to come over this December for Christmas, but I feel too hurt to see him with another woman.

My problem now is that I don't want his help, I want so much to be by his side.
Could it also be this was his plan all along, and if so, should I lay a curse on him?
How do I love again? Who has experienced such and how did you cope?

P.S. you don't have to comment if you don't have something good to say. Thank you.

I'm thinking of returning his ring above?

Men men men. Wicked set of people

Girl keep the ring... U can sell that in the future

Let him go, I know it won't be easy for u.. 5yrs is no joke to spend it with someone u tot u gonna end up with..

This may take ages depending on how u gone cope up but surely u will if u keep urself busy and focused into sumtin else...


Goodluck

TrapQueen77:




Girl keep the ring... U can sell that in the future

Let him go, I know it won't be easy for u.. 5yrs is no joke to spend it with someone u tot u gonna end up with..

This may take ages depending how u gone cope up but surely u will if u keep urself busy and focused into sumtin else...


Goodluck

Well said

My dear I know this hurts.... but he isn't for you. So just move on. Try to get involved in lots of things to keep you busy just to take your mind off what has happened and above all stay happy as it's your happy state that will attract the right man in the end.

so after all the pleading u still brought our problem to nairaland, its over.

I sometimes wonder how we humans complicate really simple matters.

You like a lady and you wanna marry her along the way due to sexual indiscreation you impregnated another who wont abort her pregnancy.
What should be done?
Marry the 2 of them simple. If you like a lady enough to shine her congo without condom, be ready to marry her when pregy shikena

Jux make sure u enrich urself with the guys money...and console urself with the fact dat he wil b e deported soon,since he wants to involve himself with a white lady

well you wouldn't want your hubby's first child to be from someone else and then again abortion is murder so you know what to do

you wouldn't return the ring if you were me, even though I don't need it, but you are not me so you decide. it doesn't seem like a mistake to me atall , the way the whole story went. but why would you curse him? let him go. it wasn't meant to be, a breakup is better than a divorce if you ask me, and you never know what blessings await you in the future.

but then again why stay in a relationship that long (5yrs), this was the first question that came to my mind.

xendra:
you wouldn't return the ring if you were me, even though I don't need it, but you are not me so you decide. it doesn't seem like a mistake to me atall , the way the whole story went. but why would you curse him? let him go. it wasn't meant to be, a breakup is better than a divorce if you ask me, and you never know what blessings await you in the future.

but then again why stay in a relationship that long (5yrs), this was the first question that came to my mind.

every relationship is different. some prefer dating for long time before getting married and she only said she have known him for 5 years... according to my dictionary, known and date are quite different

xendra:
you wouldn't return the ring if you were me, even though I don't need it, but you are not me so you decide. it doesn't seem like a mistake to me atall , the way the whole story went. but why would you curse him? let him go. it wasn't meant to be, a breakup is better than a divorce if you ask me, and you never know what blessings await you in the future.

but then again why stay in a relationship that long (5yrs), this was the first question that came to my mind.

I said, I have known him for 5 years but we only started dating this year January
About the curse thing, well it was me who told him in the beginning when we just started dating that I will curse him if he brings shame to me by leaving me or cheating on me. That is why he is seriously begging for me not to do such. He knows where I come from and what my people can do if we want to.

cuvox:


every relationship is different. some prefer dating for long time before getting married and she only said she have known him for 5 years... according to my dictionary, known and date are quite different

and such long relationship kind of marriages end faster. you can never completely know a persons character in a relationship if they don't want you to know, so its pointless wasting years, you see the things you can live with go ahead and work the others out together. unless you are just stringing someone along in a relationship in case you find a better option,

which I believe is the case here.

Vanillaskin:

I said, I have known him for 5 years but we only started dating this year January
About the curse thing, well it was me who told him in the beginning when we just started dating that I will curse him if he brings shame to me by leaving me or cheating on me. That is why he is seriously begging for me not to do such. He knows where I come from and what my people can do if we want to.

OK sorry for that misunderstanding.

vivianbelema:
Men men men. Wicked set of people

Women, women, women wicked set of people. My babe also left me a month to our introduction, not minding the money, time and emotions I have invested in the relationship. This year is technically a loss for me, so it is not about men but wicked people.

its over move on. next tin u wud see Marriage pics online. probably used d gal to get green card. pele

Sorry for that... Stuff like that happens...
The following are possible:

1. The guy saw a fine girl and liked her, and she liked him too, and like most guy, he went for her pot and got hooked.

2. The girl liked the guy and went for him... She seduced him and trapped him with pregnancy.

3. The guy wants to marry the girl.

4. There is no pregnant lady anywhere... He just wants you to free him.

5. No one is forcing him to marry her.

The above are mere possibilities which may not all be true.

My advice is:
1. Move on.

2. Do not curse him.

3. Encourage him. If truly he impregnated a lady and he is being coerced to marry her, then he must be quite depressed (except he really loves the lady). He must be going through alot.

4. Go to the US for that Christmas holiday at his expense and enjoy yourself. You may be lucky enough to find your real guy there (sometimes there's a testimony in a test).

5. If you have the chance, return his ring to him. Or use it to engage your next guy. ;That will aid your recovery.

6. Don't allow the thought that all men are the same sink into you. It has nothing to do with me. It happens to all genders. Everyone has a weak point, including you. You may or may not have been caught in shit before, but that does not mean you have not done shit before.

Please don't curse that guy because shit happens. Just take him as a friend but don't let him touch you again. I believe he should be doing his best to make it up to you. I don't know how he plans to do that.

234GT:


Women, women, women wicked set of people. My babe also left me a month to our introduction, not minding the money, time and emotions I have invested in the relationship. This year is technically a loss for me, so it is not about men but wicked people.

Chai! I feel your pain

ikp120:
Sorry for that... Stuff like that happens...
The following are possible:

1. The guy saw a fine girl and liked her, and she liked him too, and like most guy, he went for her pot and got hooked.

2. The girl liked the guy and went for him... She seduced him and trapped him with pregnancy.

3. The guy wants to marry the girl.

4. There is no pregnant lady anywhere... He just wants you to free him.

5. No one is forcing him to marry her.

The above are mere possibilities which may not all be true.

My advice is:
1. Move on.

2. Do not curse him.

3. Encourage him. If truly he impregnated a lady and he is being coerced to marry her, then he must be quite depressed (except he really loves the lady). He must be going through alot.

4. Go to the US for that Christmas holiday at his expense and enjoy yourself. You may be lucky enough to find your real guy there (sometimes there's a testimony in a test).

5. If you have the chance, return his ring to him. Or use it to engage your next guy. ;That will aid your recovery.

6. Don't allow the thought that all men are the same sink into you. It has nothing to do with me. It happens to all genders. Everyone has a weak point, including you. You may or may not have been caught in shit before, but that does not mean you have not done shit before.

Please don't curse that guy because shit happens. Just take him as a friend but don't let him touch you again. I believe he should be doing his best to make it up to you. I don't know how he plans to do that.

well said. Bless you

Sweerie, keep the ring and go for the holiday biko

Vanillaskin:

I said, I have known him for 5 years but we only started dating this year January
About the curse thing, well it was me who told him in the beginning when we just started dating that I will curse him if he brings shame to me by leaving me or cheating on me. That is why he is seriously begging for me not to do such. He knows where I come from and what my people can do if we want to.

ur curse can't work. curse nko .cus u wan marry ready made. shift jare I like the fact him impregnate better girl for USA.

I just dey wonder how many abortion way this lady don do for that 5 years. Wasted 5years with a man, and story enter. He say make you come holiday for Us, which can play lion go dey play with a dog, if not to eat the dog...Hummmmm...just prepare to endure insult from people way no say him come do engagement for your head...It will definitely hurt,but life must go on my sister.

From story one thing come to my mind GREEN CARD loading for guy...
Girl move on he have already planed his future there its just a tactic to move you out of picture so that life can be smooth...
If not and u wanna make trouble travel to US on his expense and show your ring to girl he gave seeds to...

But personally hes over your and greed has overtaken love...

Choice is your and its my view no offence intended
Don't try to quote me on a sunday or u will go to hell

Came:
I just dey wonder how many abortion way this lady don do for that 5 years. Wasted 5years with a man, and story enter. He say make you come holiday for Us, which can play lion go dey play with a dog, if not to eat the dog...Hummmmm...just prepare to endure insult from people way no say him come do engagement for your head...It will definitely hurt,but life must go on my sister.

I don't understand how what I wrote is difficult for you to comprehend
I said I have known him for 5 years but we only started dating this year, pls stop putting sugar and spice into the story

Posters above have said it all move on its difficult but at the end am sure u will look back and be glad u did
Just like u am currently heartbroken but here I am still standing u can do the same
Good luck

The "should I lay a curse on him" part made me lol...
Honey there's no need to curse, just try your hardest to be strong, you'll meet someone who deserves you. There's really no need crying over spilled milk, because that won't bring him back. Just go on with your life, that part is over.

Vanillaskin:
This is my story has it is happening right now to me.

I have known my fiance for about 5 years now, and never really liked him at first but after much proposing I agreed to date him has long as it will lead to marriage at the beginning of this year and he agreed. The love grew so much to a point that I began to ask myself why didn't I agree to date him sooner, he was a dream come true. He did everything to show his seriousness about us, like visit my village, get me a beautiful engagement ring and all.

Now he traveled to the US to further his studies and things were going very well. He is gradually doing well and because he is working part time and has carried me along by helping me pay for catering school, start a business here and do my international passport because he has plans for me to travel to the US this December for Christmas holiday.

Problem started when he called me to beg me to forgive him for a mistake he has made by getting a girl pregnant over there and the girls family wants them to get married. He is begging me to forgive him for all the promises he made to me about wanting to spend his life with me. He is claiming it was never his intention to hurt me or leave me for someone else but the condition he found himself in.
I still love him and can't believe this is happening to me but most especially, how do I move on and love again. He said something about I can keep the business and forgive him and not lay any curse on him for breaking my heart, he wants us to end the engagement on good terms, and if I need help with anything I should feel free to contact him, he still wants me to come over this December for Christmas, but I feel too hurt to see him with another woman.

My problem now is that I don't want his help, I want so much to be by his side.
Could it also be this was his plan all along, and if so, should I lay a curse on him?
How do I love again? Who has experienced such and how did you cope?

P.S. you don't have to comment if you don't have something good to say. Thank you.

Well, do as he has said, join him over there come december, when you get there pour out your heart to him, i mean make him to settle you cumbersomely, comeback to naija and start a very good business or use the money he will give and empower your already going business...i think he's a good person, shits happens in life, and pls pls pls dnt lay a curse on him or else the both of you will be at the losing end...open up your heart to love again cos men must come...let's i forget, bill him very well, and let him settle you in dollars…my take tho.

Vanillaskin:
I'm thinking of returning his ring above?

keep wailing

did you say you want to curse him as an option, pls better remove that from your mind cus is not a must all courtship or engagement would lead to marriage.
he even tried pleading with you and explained as well, cus am sure some other dudes will go ahead wirh the wedding and you will get to know through his social media or from someone's mouth.
just move on, it has happened already and take the lesons you got from it cus such is life(que sera sera).

xendra:
and such long relationship kind of marriages end faster. you can never completely know a persons character in a relationship if they don't want you to know, so its pointless wasting years, you see the things you can live with go ahead and work the others out together. unless you are just stringing someone along in a relationship in case you find a better option,

which I believe is the case here.

but she said they started dating this January

guess we should go back to the days of fixed marriages then so that one can spend his entire lifetime trying to figure out the other person.

Remember marriage can either make or break you

truth is, whether they date for 2 months or 10 years I still believe the survival of a marriage depends on how much both partners are willing to make it work

moreover, finance and trust are 2 reasons why We guys don't get married early.

Her mistake was giving telling him the relationship must end in marriage if she wants her to date him without putting his financial status into consideration. sounds desperate

His mistake was cheating. Here trust comes into play as he might have felt she was cheating over here too. Truth is we all find it difficult to trust the one by our side not to talk of the ones we can't see.

Only good thing here is he is standing up to take the responsibility of the mess he created. Fate has a way of messing with us.

not that I support him but like I said, every relationship is different.