Scared of marrying a wrong woman, cos divorce isn't a total turn off for me.

Has to be whether or not I'd be good enough for her not to cheat on me seeing as its happened to me twice already

I'm afraid of us (me and the future wife) growing apart or me losing interest in her in the long run.

Marriage is about love,understanding and commitment,my fear is marrying someone thinking we have this only to find out we don't.

sisisioge:


Oh darling, I think I'm in love with you already. Your candidness is outa this world! Yeah, tell it as it! All cards on the table man...nothing beats knowing your limits and being truthful about it.

God created us differently. Where you totally wanna enjoy your solitude, I wanna share my world. Yes, marriage isn't for everyone dude. People like you are better off making money...spend your time with work dearie. When you grow old, your billions will still take care of you. That's the truth! You sha know the old boy of the playboy mansion ba? The guy is a legend! Enjoy...I feel you

Haha well thanks for the love ma'am you're one enlightened funny, happy soul; I envy your enthusiasm and I truly wish you the best out there. Abeg If some dude trys to play smart on you abeg hook me up asap I'm reading this new book about torture...anything for you ma'am. Love You

WriteBoy:
I used to be afraid of marriage but no more. With the type of personality I have it's going to be super difficult to remain with one woman for more than ten years. I see myself being married to at least 5 women in my lifetime.

Knowing this takes out all the uncertainties. There's nothing to fear when I know I can always walk away.

I like ya post a lot. It's always good to understand who you're before trying to fit into something cos that's what the society wants you to do. At least, you're naturally a polygamist and you know that. However, I think, rather than get married to five women and end up having kids with multiple women - it's always better to have kids with one woman. But you have to do it without the commitment that comes with marriage albeit you need to make sure you provide shelter, food, and money for the kids - and be part of their lives like a great dad. That will give you the freedom to do whatever you want to do.

I kind of have the same mentality and I doubt I can stay with one woman for the rest of my life. There are just too many beautiful women out there and most of them bring different things to table. So, I don't think I can deny myself that privilege.

Apparently nobody seems to be afraid of DIVORCE here? For the sake of my children. Growing up in a broken family would def affect them

LuvU2:
falling out of love

Ask dad & mum if they've ever fallen out of love. Personally, marriage goes beyond just loving someone, marriage is life. I say so because no matter how long you wanna stay single, a time comes when you'd shrugged it off and seek for a union. If our parents could stayed married since we were born, then let us cast off our fears. It is true that those ugly moments are bound to raise its head once in a while. But in the end, marriage is a beautiful way of life to those who know what it is!

Afraid of every day demand of sex,not having my private and quite time.

viktor01:


All those egotistic attitude and guys are meant to listen all the time as well as remember every little bit of it just to impress her.

we are even not on talking terms now nd she's try'n to encourage me to settle the rift by becoming a good frnd online, using a diff acc, buh i just tag along wt her venting all my frustration like sey i no know. Some gals sha...

What if he becomes the cheating partner after marriage and that's the number one thing i detest most....


what if he won't support my Dreams and Vision of becoming a Professor in the next ten years.

what if his family is not friendly and welcoming

what if he is not motivating me ...

SavageGarden:


Haha well thanks for the love ma'am you're one enlightened funny, happy soul; I envy your enthusiasm and I truly wish you the best out there. Abeg If some dude trys to play smart on you abeg hook me up asap I'm reading this new book about torture...anything for you ma'am. Love You

Now you are my bestie man. You are a clown!

Marriage is not for everybody. Meet someone you like and stay together, if you guys get bored move on. Shi.t happens. It is better than being married and bored but unable to leave because you have kids and you signed a contract. You will now spend the only life you have managing happiness when you could be out there exploring and discovering yourself.

For those immune to societal pressure, just date and have kids only if you want. You might even end up being better parents without the stress of spousal incompatibility and problem from in-laws. This is why I have a lot of respect for people in open marriages because they know that they cannot be monogamous and have accepted it. Marriage is not really all that and only serves to suit society as far as I am concerned.

Anyway, my fear of getting married:

1) I will get bored
2) We will grow apart

Well, for me it's the stress of taking care of a family and my job at the same time and also my parents. Trying to attend to everyone's need is something before thinking of yourself especially as the wife. Another problem is boredom, I'll hate it if my husband is the type that travels a lot. In conclusion not just his absence and stress but the commitment and all that you have to sacrifice.

mengho:
Shes gonna stop me from playing my video games & am pretty sure she won't like it when I maxed out the sound system when playing call of duty .... So my future wife most be a gamer or computer geek that way we can play games together & I don't have to worry about buying expensive bags & shoes but a new gaming rig every few years

let's go there then, but don't demand for sex every now and then..smiles

Marriage. An institution on its own!

Bravo!! This comment sweeps me off my feet, especially as it comes from a female. May there be more like you in this life and less of the caricatures yhth call demselves women. I salute u and this comment.....may ur days be long. The only wise and useful comment on this thread. Ppl will crucify u for this comment just cos its the Truth and truth is bitter. All i keep saying is weldone weldone weldone and weldone all over again.

CoCoLav:
Marriage is not for everybody. Meet someone you like and stay together, if you guys get bored move on. Shi.t happens. It is better than being married and bored but unable to leave because you have kids and you signed a contract. You will now spend the only life you have managing happiness when you could be out there exploring and discovering yourself.

For those immune to societal pressure, just date and have kids only if you want. You might even end up being better parents without the stress of spousal incompatibility and problem from in-laws. This is why I have a lot of respect for people in open marriages because they know that they cannot be monogamous and have accepted it. Marriage is not really all that and only serves to suit society as far as I am concerned.

Anyway, my fear of getting married:

1) I will get bored
2) He will not understand my drive for success and try to slow me down with children
3) We will grow apart

I am definitely afraid of marriage. The thought of living with someone that has a totally different background, personality and habit scares me.
What if we get tired of each other??
What if hate each other later on?
What if we can tolerate each other's little faults??
What if he becomes a serial cheater?? What if I cheat on him??
What If our sex life becomes horrible??
What if he stops loving me??

Mehn!!! The what if's is sha plenty. I just keep praying to God to bless me with a good man and help me as I help myself be a better woman.

jeff1607:



Experienced minds can help out here and you can share yours too.

#nuffsaid

I am a very emotional person and my greatest fear is 'What if he stops loving me?'

[color=#550000][/color] i can't really say i'm afraid or i have fears. However, i believe that when there's a reason to worry, myself and my wife to be will get over it somehow.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" ----- Groucho Marx

jeff1607:
I know money, financial status, mental preparedness and more are necessary in marriage but putting all that aside what are yours fears? Mine has a lot of what ifs


what if in the long run it gets boring with everything looking like a routine with the fire that was present initially, will she try to rekindle it? As we know most ladies (not all) tend to wait for the guy to everything to spice it all up, from kinky gossips or just gisting.

What if she doesn't have time for me and probably loves the kids more?

what if love making becomes more like a chore or routine, would she try to spice it up and become more adventurous?

what if am no more would she be able to handle everything all on her own ( men die before that wives).

what if she changes during the course of marriage ( like show her true colour or character)


what if she can't bear the usual hustle and bustle in marriage and decides to quit? ( marriage isn't all smooth)


Experienced minds can help out here and you can share yours too.

#nuffsaid

Not much to say really. I don't think I have to worry about this. I personally do not have any fear. Well, whether I'm around or not, my future wife should keep the momentum going. I want to have a very happy family like my elder brother.

grandlexuz:


[b]Yeah very true! Selflessness is the watch word. When both parties are willing to put the other infront, there is always room for improvement and compromise.

A Very Poor Man Lived With His Wife.

One day his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.[/b][i][/i]

This your story reminds me of my past relationships and tear fell from my eyes, have been in a lot of bad relationship that I even wondered if this relationship/marriage thing is for me and that's why I gave up till now..
My fear is if marriage represents what have gone thru in the past then am not sure if it can work, up till now am still not fully healed cause of the past, and my greatest fear is my partner cheating on me and I caught her I will never forgive her, cause even just me imagining my partner is been screw by someone else drives me crazy...

My fears are;

I don't want someone (my wife) to say '' I miss you'' because I travel a lot, I'm a tourist, I like adventure. I like to know many places, visit different places, learn from people, visit historical sites I've read about.

I don't want my children to lack anything.


But, Insha Allaah, I will get married anything 4 or 5 years from now. Insha Allah.

lexiconkabir:
Lol.... well I have just two fears;

1) won't I get bored with the same person (cuz i dont plan to have a polygamous home)?

2) I hope I won't lack the financial capability to keep the family running.

Am a very hard person to understand, which most most people get me wrong. so my fear is if I will really get the right person, that will take me as I am and also if I will find the right person.

Shym3xx:


I like ya post a lot. It's always good to understand who you're before trying to fit into something cos that's what the society wants you to do. At least, you're naturally a polygamist and you know that. However, I think, rather than get married to five women and end up having kids with multiple women - it's always better to have kids with one woman. But you have to do it without the commitment that comes with marriage albeit you need to make sure you provide shelter, food, and money for the kids - and be part of their lives like a great dad. That will give you the freedom to do whatever you want to do.

I kind of have the same mentality and I doubt I can stay with one woman for the rest of my life. There are just too many beautiful women out there and most of them bring different things to table. So, I don't think I can deny myself that privilege.

Sir Shymexx, thanks for the counsel! At least you understand; a lot of people do not.

I am scared of so many things, coupled with the bad news one is hearing everyday about marriage.
What if he changes totally from the person I fell in love with??
What if he starts cheating on me??
I can't cope with a selfish partner as well

It is well sha even in the well

IdisuleOurOwn:
My fears are;

I don't want someone (my wife) to say '' I miss you'' because I travel a lot, I'm a tourist, I like adventure. I like to know many places, visit different places, learn from people, visit historical sites I've read about.

Lol, honestly this is no problem to me, she can travel with me wherever I go, in fact it will be fun that way and won't be happy if she doesn't follow me.

I don't want my children to lack anything.

Same here....

But, Insha Allaah, I will get married anything 4 or 5 years from now. Insha Allah.

4 or 5 kini? Well as for me, once I achieve what I want in terms of studies(both secular and religious), then I won't waste time at all, I will get married, insha Allaah.

FriendChoice:


Getting bored remains sacrosanct in a monogamy but it's temporary. Sometimes bored sometimes Not Board.

Financial capability: That one is life, maychance can happens to anyone.

This are my thoughts.

Go and get married!! Lol

grandlexuz:


[b]Yeah very true! Selflessness is the watch word. When both parties are willing to put the other infront, there is always room for improvement and compromise.

A Very Poor Man Lived With His Wife.

One day his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.[/b][i][/i]

true talk
Selflessness that what really called true love. Just like our lord Jesus christ he forgot about himself but held unto the cross.

Neenie:


I am a very emotional person and my greatest fear is 'What if he stops loving me?'

you've gotta toughen up bae

Titilayooni:
Afraid of been tired of the love we initially shared....

you have a very good reason. one mumu above you said she's afraid of being a slave or a housewife. the height of inferiority complex! what happened to love before marriage?