This is meant to be a counter-thread to a post made by Benita27 titled "Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?" For ease of reference, the post has been reproduced below:

I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Even though Benita27 claimed to have sought clarification, she already indirectly made a clarification to the issue by revealing that she would naturally be afraid to meet her mother-in-law, even if it was for the first time. The environment through Nollywood has poisoned our ladies' minds so that by default, as they are planning to get married, they consciously prepare for war with their innocent mother-in-laws. This situation is so bad that even the meekest mother-in-law may become somewhat cruel as a result of the extremely defensive attitude which the wife displays. There are many good mother-in-laws but our ladies are now taught never to give them a space.

I'm not sure of other ethnic groups but I can speak of mine, Yoruba. This menace seems to have found a permanent seat among us and it usually throws this ugly situation at us (husbands) - You have to Choose one between your mother and me!.

Someone might wonder why I feel so concerned. It's because my wife carelessly lost a great fortune to this menace. Her married sisters advised her never to be friendly with my mother even though she had no reason to be cruel towards my mother - the incident remains the ugliest I've ever witnessed in my marriage... It's really a long story but you can read it here https://www.nairaland.com/3206538/wifes-siblings-breaking-us-apart

hmm. Is the TV pre-planned shows, dramas having effect on marital life? some want practice zee world, telemundo, etc cos it looks appealing and uplifting.

If you ask me,na who I go ask?

But there are some truly devilish mother-in-laws o

trishapal:
But there are some truly devilish mother-in-laws o

R u talking from experience or African magic?

DevGuru:
This is meant to be a counter-thread to a post made by Benita27 titled "Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?" For ease of reference, the post has been reproduced below:

I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Even though Benita27 claimed to have sought clarification, she already indirectly made a clarification to the issue by revealing that she would naturally be afraid to meet her mother-in-law, even if it was for the first time. The environment through Nollywood has poisoned our ladies' minds so that by default, as they are planning to get married, they consciously prepare for war with their innocent mother-in-laws. This situation is so bad that even the meekest mother-in-law may become somewhat cruel as a result of the extremely defensive attitude which the wife displays. There are many good mother-in-laws but our ladies are now taught never to give them a space.

I'm not sure of other ethnic groups but I can speak of mine, Yoruba. This menace seems to have found a permanent seat among us and it usually throws this ugly situation at us (husbands) - You have to Choose one between your mother and me!.

Someone might wonder why I feel so concerned. It's because my wife carelessly lost a great fortune to this menace. Her married sisters advised her never to be friendly with my mother even though she had no reason to be cruel towards my mother - the incident remains the ugliest I've ever witnessed in my marriage... It's really a long story but you can read it here https://www.nairaland.com/3206538/wifes-siblings-breaking-us-apart

bro hope all is well btw you and your wife now

lol..doesn't still change the fact,most women are possessive..be it mother-in-law or wife..they wanna possess the husband

DevGuru:
This is meant to be a counter-thread to a post made by Benita27 titled "Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?" For ease of reference, the post has been reproduced below:

I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Even though Benita27 claimed to have sought clarification, she already indirectly made a clarification to the issue by revealing that she would naturally be afraid to meet her mother-in-law, even if it was for the first time. The environment through Nollywood has poisoned our ladies' minds so that by default, as they are planning to get married, they consciously prepare for war with their innocent mother-in-laws. This situation is so bad that even the meekest mother-in-law may become somewhat cruel as a result of the extremely defensive attitude which the wife displays. There are many good mother-in-laws but our ladies are now taught never to give them a space.

I'm not sure of other ethnic groups but I can speak of mine, Yoruba. This menace seems to have found a permanent seat among us and it usually throws this ugly situation at us (husbands) - You have to Choose one between your mother and me!.

Someone might wonder why I feel so concerned. It's because my wife carelessly lost a great fortune to this menace. Her married sisters advised her never to be friendly with my mother even though she had no reason to be cruel towards my mother - the incident remains the ugliest I've ever witnessed in my marriage... It's really a long story but you can read it here https://www.nairaland.com/3206538/wifes-siblings-breaking-us-apart

In order to burst your bubble Sir!,...i don't do home movies.
Secondly, your observation was right...i will naturally be scared of meeting my mother in-law for the first time.

Why will your wife hide to those advice given to her by her sisters if she has a kind mother in-law?.

All been said still doesn't change the fact that there are mean mothers in-law.

Benita27:
In order to burst your bubble Sir!,...i don't do home movies.
Secondly, your observation was right...i will naturally be scared of meeting my mother in-law for the first time.

Why will your wife hide to those advice given to her by her sisters if she has a kind mother in-law?.

All been said still doesn't change the fact that there are mean mothers in-law.

I'm glad you are here! Firstly, denying watching home movies can't help your case as you can never deny its influence in the world you and I live in. If you could be afraid of meeting a woman you've never met before simply because of your unholy and preposterous presumption, you've already spelt what the outcome of your relationship with her would be.

And regarding my wife's case, she is the last born and has 4 married female siblings who are all at loggerheads with their mother-in-laws and they decided to advise her ahead of the time her own would probably start. I just hope that you (Benita27) will not transmit your own resentment for mother-in-laws to your younger ones (if you have any)...

DevGuru:


I'm glad you are here! Firstly, denying watching home movies can't help your case as you can never deny its influence in the world you and I live in. If you could be afraid of meeting a woman you've never met before simply because of your unholy and preposterous presumption, you've already spelt what the outcome of your relationship with her would be.

And regarding my wife's case, she is the last born and has 4 married female siblings who are all at loggerheads with their mother-in-laws and they decided to advise her ahead of the time her own would probably start. I just hope that you (Benita27) will not transmit your own resentment for mother-in-laws to your younger ones (if you have any)...

Lol. But Sir!, i ain't denying a thing, Nollywood movies are super boring to me, and who allows movies take a great toll of them, even "telemundo" and "Zeeworld" we all know their movies are fictional, does it mean after seeing them act love scenes which are out of this world, i would be making unnecessary demands on the guy i'm dating?... No!.
I just feel your wife is making a mistake by having resentments towards your mum if she hasn't done anything wrong to her, but is your marital issue so you two should think a way out of things.

.

It's awkward when you think the wives of having these preconceptions today will become mothers-in-law tomorrow.

Its only men that can stop mil vs dil bs but they choose TO be neutral for reasons best known to them

during my free time at work one of my male colleagues was jisting briefly which was last week and he said the first time he brought his fiance home who is now wife he told the mother in clear terms which was heavily loaded.I laughed when he said it he said


MUMMY IYAWO NI MO MUWALE MIO MU OMO ODO ABI ERU WA FUN YIN O

So I was like why did you say that. He said because he knows the type of woman his mother is and what she does to his younger brother's wife

He said the wife was sitting there when he said it and even after marriage no mil harassment.every one respects themselves. That's why I said the issue can only be resolved by the man because if he doesn't set boundaries no one will not know where they belong

DevGuru:
This is meant to be a counter-thread to a post made by Benita27 titled "Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?" For ease of reference, the post has been reproduced below:

I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse. grin
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Even though Benita27 claimed to have sought clarification, she already indirectly made a clarification to the issue by revealing that she would naturally be afraid to meet her mother-in-law, even if it was for the first time. The environment through Nollywood has poisoned our ladies' minds so that by default, as they are planning to get married, they consciously prepare for war with their innocent mother-in-laws. This situation is so bad that even the meekest mother-in-law may become somewhat cruel as a result of the extremely defensive attitude which the wife displays. There are many good mother-in-laws but our ladies are now taught never to give them a space.

I'm not sure of other ethnic groups but I can speak of mine, Yoruba. This menace seems to have found a permanent seat among us and it usually throws this ugly situation at us (husbands) - You have to Choose one between your mother and me!.

Someone might wonder why I feel so concerned. It's because my wife carelessly lost a great fortune to this menace. Her married sisters advised her never to be friendly with my mother even though she had no reason to be cruel towards my mother - the incident remains the ugliest I've ever witnessed in my marriage... It's really a long story but you can read it here https://www.nairaland.com/3206538/wifes-siblings-breaking-us-apart

OP, u dint update us about ur wife's case. How did u handle it? I want to learn

SAMBARRY:
Its only men that can stop mil vs dil bs but they choose TO be neutral for reasons best known to them

during my free time at work one of my male colleagues was jisting briefly which was last week and he said the first time he brought his fiance home who is now wife he told the mother in clear terms which was heavily loaded.I laughed when he said it he said


MUMMY IYAWO NI MO MUWALE MIO MU OMO ODO ABI ERU WA FUN YIN O

So I was like why did you say that. He said because he knows the type of woman his mother is and what she does to his younger brother's wife

He said the wife was sitting there when he said it and even after marriage no mil harassment.every one respects themselves. That's why I said the issue can only be resolved by the man because if he doesn't set boundaries no one will not know where they belong

Madame I don't know how your story will solve the problem here.did you read the op?

oloyede252:

Madame I don't know how your story will solve the problem here.did you read the op?

who the op epp?

Benita27:
In order to burst your bubble Sir!,...i don't do home movies.
Secondly, your observation was right...i will naturally be scared of meeting my mother in-law for the first time.

Why will your wife hide to those advice given to her by her sisters if she has a kind mother in-law?.

All been said still doesn't change the fact that there are mean mothers in-law.

Why will you be scared if you do not already have the 'wicked mother-in-law' thoughts in you?. I do not know if you are married yet and if you are and you have a son, then in future, the lady he is going to bring home to you will also be naturally scared the first time. So the cycle continues.

Mothers always find it difficult to let go of their sons. It is a natural thing. Fathers easily move on about their daughters and that is why it is easier between father-in-law and their son-in-law. Despite the fact that i have kids of 11 years and 9 years, my mother still calls me a boy and will even threaten to slap or flog me if i misbehave and we will all burst into laughter. So, you can see that a mother's bond for her son never wanes. That is what causes the friction. I was recently in the hospital where a mother has been with her kid son that is on admission for two days. You could see the stress and tiredness on her face and also how the boy is clinging to her with her continuously petting him. Such a mother will always look back at such bond. Daughter-in-laws should always try to understand. The day my son went to boarding house, when we got home, my wife was wiping tears from her eyes. This is a school here in Lagos that is just a 10 minutes drive away and there is now GSM to even call the boarding house master. I now told her that she should then reflect on what my own mother went through then when i had to go to boarding house in a place that is about 300km away without GSM then to call and the only means of communication was by writing and posting a letter through NIPOST.

Abeg, daughter-in-laws, make una dey pity mother-in-laws. They are not bad or wicked. Daughter-in-laws initial body language is what raises the antenna in mother-in-laws. This is why i normally pray for every lady to give birth to a boy so that she will know how it feels.

Those who nurture such preconceived ideas are hypocrites.


Ask them deeply, they all have one issue or the other with their sister in-laws (their brothers' wives).

Mother in laws are wicked yet as small as you are you condemn your brothers' girlfriends and wives.. make we hear word abeg

Acidosis:
Those who nurture such preconceived ideas are hypocrites.


Ask them deeply, they all have one issue or the other with their sister in-laws (their brothers' wives).

Mother in laws are wicked yet as small as you are you condemn your brothers' girlfriends and wives.. make we hear word abeg

Do not mind them. There is this lady that i know of that when her brother's wife did not get pregnant on time, you need to see the pressure she was putting on him to go outside and was even arranging outside babes for the brother so that he can have kids. She too now got married and when she did not get pregnant on time, she said that Pastors and Prophets said that her mother-in-law is a witch and that it was the mother-in-law that has closed her womb. Real hypocrisy.

Some are wicked and some are nice . Better to have an open mind when joining the family. Whichever kind u meet, be nice. It is much easier to win them over when U behave well regardless of how u may be treated. (Its not easy sometimes but its doable).

well sha. i believe if the man takes a stand everything will be put in perspective. no emotional blackmail from the mom and no craziness from the wife. if he decides to take the back seat war might break out between the two if no one decides to be mature about things.
I however do believe if they can develop a mother-daughter relationship it will help. wives see their mother-in laws as mothers and mother-in laws their daughter-in law as their daughter. A mother wont hide their dissatisfaction. Both mother and daughter will not always get along. I knw we av some SPECIAL MEAN mothers and some STUBBORN know know wives buh if the daughter-in law is willing then things will come around. understand that it isn't really easy relinquishing the seat of authority to a younger lady who seems inexperienced buh its bound to happen. Ladies build yourself. I believe this one of the major stuff that should be considered before saying i do. In this generation we tend to prepare for wedding and not marriage.
In conclusion if your mother-in-law is troublesome talk to God about it, ask for wisdom and remember love is a covering.

trishapal:
But there are some truly devilish mother-in-laws o

may your future daughter in law see you as devilish. Say Amen!

Acidosis:
Those who nurture such preconceived ideas are hypocrites.


Ask them deeply, they all have one issue or the other with their sister in-laws (their brothers' wives).

Mother in laws are wicked yet as small as you are you condemn your brothers' girlfriends and wives.. make we hear word abeg

Most Nairaland wives hate their mother-in-laws. If there is anything I hate about this section, it is these set of women.

oloyede252:

Madame I don't know how your story will solve the problem here.did you read the op?

please shut up

SAMBARRY:
please shut up

shut up? how is that possible when am typing. madame stop typing fake stories.

oloyede252:

shut up? how is that possible when am typing. madame stop typing fake stories.

oloshide get of my mention.Must you stalk me

By the way when will you grow up?

I thought you should have outgrown your stopeed childishness by now

Abeg get lost joor.oni rada rada

SAMBARRY:
oloshide get of my mention.Must you stalk me

By the way when will you grow up?

I thought you should have outgrown your stopeed childishness by now

Abeg get lost joor.oni rada rada

Lol. stalk Who? you. that not possible cos I don't do sugar mommy.

for the rest of your ranting,it's total rubbish
Am OLOYEDE by the way

oloyede252:

Lol. stalk Who? you. that not possible cos I don't do sugar mommy.

for the rest of your ranting,it's total rubbish
Am OLOYEDE by the way

no.you're OLOSHIDE because when you fok off it's usually a pleasant day

Hence the name OLOSHIDE!

SAMBARRY:
no.you're OLOSHIDE because when you fok off it's usually a pleasant day

Hence the name OLOSHIDE!

Lol. angry bird aka sambarry and the person who liked her post are both oloshide.fok off

My mother in law is bae my personal midwife

oloyede252:
Lol. angry bird aka sambarry and the person who liked her post are both oloshide.fok off

oloshide is pained

Chaii e pain am

eipreel:
My mother in law is bae my personal midwife

You're very lucky

May God bless your life and your home. It's awesome the way you see the good side of your mother-in-law and focus less on her faults.

eipreel:
My mother in law is bae my personal midwife