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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. (11992 Views)
"I Will Die, If I Give My Wife Money" - Man Tells Lagos Court / "Leave Your Wife’s Money Alone" - Nigerian Man Tells Other Men / Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 7:33am On Oct 12, 2016 |
cococandy: Much more. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Eketem: 7:44am On Oct 12, 2016 |
This mentality irritates me to no end. Grown adult women waiting to be " taken care off" what a shame. Same way I am irritated by a grown adult man waiting to be cooked and cleaned for. You are both freaking adults sort your selves out. Every adult should financially take care of themselves and when they have a family financially be responsible to their family same way every adult should be able to cook and clean. God forbid that any child I have marries a woman with this mentality and God forbid that a daughter I have will marry a grown man waiting to be fed and cleaned. Raise your children to have sense biko 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by cococandy(f): 7:47am On Oct 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness:We are. Most of my other posts were sarcastic. For those who understand. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 7:49am On Oct 12, 2016 |
cococandy: It isn't possible to overlook the sarcasm. 3 Likes |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by missvera(f): 7:51am On Oct 12, 2016 |
Marriage is a 50/50 thing... The two partners must know what they bring to the table. If not 50/50 bcs of our African culture then it shoud be 60 on the part of the man and 40 on the part of the wife. Women claiming their money is theirs and still expect to have a say in the Family right? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 9:47am On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: What are you advocating for? This your post doesn't seem clear on your position 1 Like |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 9:48am On Oct 12, 2016 |
jaybee3: What's your view on the money & domestics thingy. 1 Like |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 9:52am On Oct 12, 2016 |
missvera: What if their family is run on hubby doing 100% finance and wife doing 100% domestics? 1 Like |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by jaybee3(m): 9:59am On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: I believe in fairness and equity but my views would be different IF location plays a factor However, no matter the location and income disparity, I strongly believe couples should work together as one however way they decide but ensure contribution isn't skewed in order to have deserved equity 2 Likes |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 10:02am On Oct 12, 2016 |
jaybee3: Share now... irrespective of loaction |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 10:02am On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: As funny as this sounds, it's the truth. You could even be praying while simultaneously thinking about the best strategy to execute a project.... |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by jaybee3(m): 10:09am On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: You want specifics? Here you go: If my wife happens to earn more than me (Highly likely considering we are both highly educated with years of experience) then she has to contribute equally If she earns equal or less than me then I contribute more However much she earns, the house chores will be shared simply because it’s the logical thing to do I can’t expect a woman that has gone to work all day to come home and start making food for me. I’m only her husband not her boss I can’t expect her to start fixing mechanical/electrical things because that isn’t her expertise Children are the responsibility of both parents so time resource will be equally devoted to that 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 10:21am On Oct 12, 2016 |
jaybee3: In summary, > You expect the couple to contribute a certain percentage of their earnings > Both parents care for the kid > The chores are attended to with equity (I don't believe chores can be shared 'equally') Interesting. 1 Like |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by jaybee3(m): 10:36am On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: Why not? Do you want to compare the chores in absolute terms or the resource needed to execute each chore? |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 10:46am On Oct 12, 2016 |
jaybee3: Both. I believe in both parties doing whatever they like with few exceptions like their strengths when they have the time/resources to do so. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by jaybee3(m): 10:55am On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: Meaning you agree they can be equally shared if we factor in the degree of difficulty and resource needed to execute each chore |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by bukatyne(f): 10:58am On Oct 12, 2016 |
jaybee3: Examples abeg Your engilish na waya 1 Like |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by jaybee3(m): 11:07am On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: Which kain yeye english As an example: Cleaning the house vs Mowing the lawn Cleaning the house - Dusting Hoovering Cleaning the toilet and bathroom In absolute terms, those are 3 specific tasks needed to complete that categorized Job Whereas Mowing the lawn is a single task 3 is far greater than 1 in absolute terms BUT The single 1 is probably more difficult to achieve than the combined 3 On average, it will probably take you 2 hours to clean the house whereas it might take 3 hours to keep the lawn clean I know you will come back with the argument of frequency but it's just a simple illustration of how chores can be equally shared |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 2:23pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne:The guys here won't like this. Lol. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by raumdeuter: 2:24pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
Mindfulness: One of the most important reason for getting an education is to get make a living. Education costs money, Since its considered an investment that will bring future earnings, If you just want to learn about life, you can sit down with an old man and learn his experiences That is why courses that lead to significant earning potential are more in demand. You will learn more about life if you go into the arts but the truth is many of the arts dont lead to a profitable career. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by raumdeuter: 2:30pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
cococandy: You can discuss before marriage all you want but people change everyday, Some of the things you believed 4yrs ago are different now, A woman or man who believed in earning and making contribution to the family suddenly entered into it and decided she isnt going to follow it anymore I have a friend who married and both were working or had the impression they would be working, the wife stopped working to have their first child, and she hasnt gone back till now, that child is 14yrs old now and the other kid is 11. So no excuse of child bearing or rearing. She even got a higher degree in between incurred student loans which the husband had to pay He cant afford to divorce her because he has a lot of asset and he knows she will rip him badly in proceedings but is always complaining and whenever he sees friends whose wifes are workin he will be like "Are these not women? My own wife just sat down at home" |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 2:30pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter:Really?. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by raumdeuter: 2:34pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
bukatyne: That every adult in the marriage work and contribute to the running of the house |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by TR1212: 4:06pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: Eeerrrmmmmm.... Is there a law in whatever country this friend of yours lives in that says a man must give his wife allowances? What happens if he cuts her off on all her allowances? He already caters for the kids, so he might as well spend for them directly without having to give her the money. Yes, time might be a factor since he may not have spare time ti go shopping with his kids and all, but he can take it as part of what he has to do to TRY and make his marriage work. It's a sacrifice. Besides, it could be fun too. I'm sure that woman will sit up by the time she has no money to spend, nothing to do, not even grocery shopping. E no hard nah. But na question I ask sha |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by raumdeuter: 4:34pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
TR1212: They live in the US, The laws when it comes to divorce favor the women, So any appearance of abuse (What you are suggesting would be termed financial abuse) would even make the judge even favor her more. He takes care of the kids His plan initially was to slowly dissolve the assets he has in US and send the money to a Nigerian account where the judge wont be able to touch, when the children are 18 and in college and cant hold him for child support, He will be settling the kids financially on the side. Then he pushes for divorce and claim he is broke after doing a business offshore that went bad. The problem is he just bought another house last yr and he was like would he be waiting and let good opportunities pass him by because of the wife? |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Nobody: 4:37pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: It's one, it may be even the most important reason to you, but it's not the only one. I want my kids to have an education even if they decide to become stay at home mums / dads for the reasons I mentioned and more. |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by TR1212: 4:55pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: Financial abuse? Really? You still didn't tell me what law states that the man must work and pay her. I'm sorry o, pardon my ignorance, but I'd like to understand what judge will call that financial abuse when she's not sick or incapacitated in anyway. Or is the wife american? |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by raumdeuter: 5:09pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
TR1212: Financial abuse What is financial abuse? Financial abuse is one form of domestic abuse. Withholding money, stealing money and restricting the use of finances are some examples of financial abuse. To figure out if your partner is financially abusing you, think about how you are being treated by answering the following questions. Does your partner: Steal money from you or your family? Force you to give him/her access to your bank accounts to make transactions without your input? Make you feel as though you don't have a right to know any details about money or household resources? Put you on an “allowance” even if you object to this? Force to you to account for all money you spend by, for example, asking for receipts? Prevent you from working or attending school or skill-training sessions? Overuse your credit cards or refuse to pay the bills (thus ruining your credit)? Withhold physical resources from you including food, clothes, necessary medications or shelter? Force you to turn over your paychecks or public benefit payments? Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets you own (e.g., bonds, stock or property)? Force you to agree to power-of-attorney so s/he can sign legal documents? Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay?* http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=14107&state_code=PG =========================================== |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by TR1212: 7:35pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter: And so your friend suffers in bondage. This thing called Marriage..... oh well.... 2 Likes |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by ElsonMorali: 8:42pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
I think it's the man's responsibility to feed, clothe and house his family...if he has the means even if the wife earns more. That gives him a sense of pride and self-respect. The wife should be kind enough to support the husband and save her money as their retirement plan provided the woman doesn't run away with a younger man in her 60s. I guess I'm old school. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Jaygrl(f): 11:14pm On Oct 12, 2016 |
raumdeuter:Some men,like my husband insists I keep my money as it is his duty to take care of me....I use my head to do stuffs in the house without even telling him and sometimes he insists on paying me back....We are not very rich,we are just comfortable. 4 Likes |
Re: Is Your Wife's Money 'her' Money And Yours 'our' Money?. by Kimoni: 11:45pm On Oct 13, 2016 |
Benita27: I love this babe Pls don't let raumdeuter bobo you. You are sooo on point. I have bolded everything you wrote for emphasis. 1 Like 1 Share |
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