In my piece titled PMB, Aisha Buhari And The Dilemma Of Nigeria's First Family, I touched on the political aspect as it concerns Nigerians in my reaction to HE Mrs Aisha Buhari's open outburst to her husband and the subsequent "or joking" but an equally public response from His Excellency, President Muhammadu Buhari. This piece however, is concerned with the family aspect and expectations of spouses to their partners in public offices.

While many, for political reasons were quick to side the outburst of Mrs Aisha Buhari on her husband and his political choice, some others did so for some other reasons. The public reaction of President Buhari even added a new twist and made the story more dramatic. There are two BIG QUESTIONS, which are Was it proper for Mrs Aisha, the wife of Mr President to criticise him openly? and Was it proper for Mr President to openly respond to his wife outburst in a manner that riddicles her person as a wife?

Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I am neither a "chauvinist nor an alpha male". I respect the institution of marriage and family, and I believe that God that instituted this has a purpose (apologies to atheists). I respect women as much as I respect men, and I believe that in marriage couples are to support each other while being their strongest influence, Advisor and even critic (as long as it is constructive), but such criticism should be exclusively kept within the confines of their privacy. Back to the subject under discussion

1. Was It Proper For Mrs Aisha Buhari To Openly Criticise Her Husband?
FROM CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE:
I am a Christian from a strong Christian background that strongly believes in the Christian definition of a Virtuous Woman, as outlined in the Holy Scriptures (Proverbs 31:10-31), and the role of a wife as outlined in 1 Peter 3:1,2,5,7 and Ephesians 5:21-23. From the Christian perspective, it is inappropriate for a man's wife to publicly criticise him not to talk of making open remarks that will equip her husband's political adversaries to get at her husband (I avoided using the word "wrong" so as not to be accused of being judgmental).

FROM THE SECULAR PERSPECTIVE
From the secular perspective, we have to appreciate spouses of other public officers especially in Western Countries. I have tried to check records of past presidents, governors, monarchs and prime ministers in the USA, UK, Spain and other countries to see whether or not their spouse usually or at any point in time openly criticised them.

In January 1998 during the infidelity allegations on US President Bill Clinton, who was accused of having sexual relationship (extramarital affair) with White House Intern Monica Lewinsky, his wife Mrs Hilary Clinton not only stood by him but openly gave him emotional support. Hilary had told NBC's Today on January 27(1998) that, "The great story here for anybody willing to find it and write about it and explain it is this vast right-wing conspiracy that has been conspiring against my husband since the day he announced for president.". Even after several months when it was evident that Bill had adulterous affair with Ms Monica, and even admitted "inappropriate relationship" with her, Hilary still stood by her husband. Even God knows that Hilary had every right to be angry because her husband broke marital vow, but due to her love, support and commitment to him, due to the fact that she was unwilling to equip her husband's political adversaries, she kept her dissatisfaction in private. I am 100% sure but Bill would have received the lashing of his life in private. On the other hand, despite heavy criticism trailing the handling of confidential issues by Hilary Clinton during her reign as Secretary of State, Bill Clinton still supports his wife, Hilary, and he is one of her major campaigners for her Presidency. It doesn't mean that they never disagreed in their privacy.

Taking a look at the Obamas, Mrs Obama has been one of the rock and support for her husband. Even though she isn't a "fan" of Hilary (due to the improper remarks Mrs Hilary Clinton made towards Her Husband, Barrack Obama in 2008 electioneering period, Mrs Obama for the sake of her husband's political equity delivered a very powerful speech at the 2016 Democratic Convention to solicit support for her husband's ally, Mrs Hilary Clinton despite her relative conservative lifestyle. In fact, it has never been heard of that she involved herself in politics of the White House. It was even reported that she plainly stated that she is not interested in policy decisions of President Obama(governance) but as FLOTUS, her initiatives are strictly —"eating healthy, exercising, promoting education for girls overseas". That doesn't mean that she agrees with all of Barrack's policies but I am sure she confined her disagreement to their privacy. Even when photographs that suggested Obama "flirting" with a white woman during Mandela's burial, Mrs Obama never lashed her husband in public but systematically "took her rightful place" in the event and broke communication between her husband and the said lady. I am sure Barrack would have done some explanations in the bedroom.

Another example is the wife of Donald Trump, Melania who has NEVER for once joined critics to lambast her controversial husband in public despite all the unfavorable remarks attributed to her controversial husband.

Queen Elizabeth II, the British Kingdom monarch has her husband, we haven't seen him publicly lashed at his wife. German Chancellor, Angela Markell equally has a husband, a pillar of support that has refrained himself joining her critics to lambast his wife.

In the home front, the Wife of ExPresident Goodluck Jonathan, Mama Peace never for once lashed at her husband, despite his flaws, same way Jonathan never took upon himself to publicly scold his wife. The wife of the Vice President, Mrs Dolapo has carried herself in a manner that has attracted praise from even those that are not in the same political page with her husband. Governor Fayose's wife has been a strong pillar to him, same with others like Mrs Oshiomole, Mrs Wike, Mrs Amaechi etc.

In summary, even wives(and husbands) of secular world and local leaders will not come open to join critics into lashing at their partners.

2. Was It Proper For Mr President To Relegate And Openly Respond/Derogate His Wife?
FROM THE CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE:
When Sarah, the wife of Abraham was displeased with Hagar and wanted her to leave, Abraham protested because Hagar had given him his first son, Ishmael. However, God Almighty commanded him to listen to Sarah and do as she commands (Genesis 21:12). Also in the books of Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19, husbands were commanded to love and respect their wives like Christ love the Church. Jesus Christ relates the relationship between Husband and Wife with that between God and Christ. According to Him, "I and my father are one", and went on to say that "the man and woman becomes one flesh".

No woman/wife is subordinate to her husband, neither is her opinion irrelevant. In fact, she should be the number one influence and support on her man, and not destined to the bedroom or kitchen. She belongs to the heart, soul and body of her husband and not some rooms. Though nothing justifies Aisha's open criticism, maligning and relegating the woman in decisions is absolutely in proper, openly telling the world that your wife belongs to the kitchen and other rooms is inapropriate of a President- even if both of you agree to such.

Hence, President Buhari was wrong.

FROM THE SECULAR PERSPECTIVE
From the secular perspective, I am yet to see a public officer that is worth his onion descending so low as to speak inappropriately of his wife in public. It doesn't mean that they are perfect, but respect must be accorded to wives.

President Buhari failed to realise that any mockery or insults that is directed at Mrs Aisha is automatically directed at him. Those picking sides, insulting Aisha because they are Buhari loyalits are only making a mockery and caricature of the man they claim to love.

Much has been said on this issue, I hope the first family will spare Nigerians the troubles of washing their dirty linen in public. As practicing Muslims, I expect Muhammadu Buhari to manage his house as prescribed by the Holy Koran and other noble traditional value, and not further embarrass their family.

Finally, as a patriotic Nigerian, I believe that Nigerians owe this country a great favor by asking Mr President to put his house in order. I also want to state that Aisha Buhari should not make any attempt to appear heroic because her conduct runs contrary, neither should Buhari praise himself because his conduct was disgraceful. However, I will advice her to understudy the carriage and disposition of Her Excellency, Mrs Dolapo Osibanjo.



May God Bless Us All and Bless Nigeria

PS: Apologies to non-Christian readers
Posted on Palmchat Community and other Social Media pages

This is not objective, especially where you compared Hillary Clinton support for her husband to that of Aisha Buhari to President Buhari. Hillary has threatened and even paid women in the past to shut them up, she doesn't care about anyone but her career and family.

Also, Melania Trump is a prisoner of Donald Trump, an immigrant running away from hardship to seek better future for herself and family. She once confided in someone in 2005 that Donald abused her severally, the article is in the public domain.

Aisha Buhari is not your average woman, just like Chimamanda, Michelle Obama, Oprah, etc are not average. And she owe this country to voice her concern of the very reason we kicked out past administration. I don't know why people are worried about her approach and not the revelation in itself.

This saga, just exposed our president poor leadership skill, if Aisha Buhari could go to the public with such information. Trust me, there is more to our president approach to things, I mean he just failed with his wife.

I know that it is a bit lengthy , but it is worth the effort


Make I call Lalasticlala this time

Even your own writeup long pass the BBC interview. Biko gan summarise it joor.

Ok make I read am first

TonyeBarcanista:
I know that it is a bit lengthy , but it is worth the effort


Make I call Lalasticlala this time

My guy sharrap! AISHA IS A BOSS!



We are not living in the caveman era anymore, and women should have a very strong say in whatever direction we intend on taking the nation!


Buhari is _fucking up! He needed to be told!











**slaps the otondo***

Agrogbeide:
Even your own writeup long pass the BBC interview. Biko gan summarise it joor.

Well, you may elect for selective reading by going straight to subheadings of interest...


But be careful not to read out of context.

Ba Islamic perspective?

BossKratos:




My guy sharrap! AISHA IS A BOSS!



We are not living in the caveman era anymore, and women should have a very strong say in whatever direction we intend on taking the nation!


Buhari is _fucking up! He needed to be told!











**slaps the otondo***

Will you be happy if your wife comes out to join critics to lash at you?

Chubhie:
Ba Islamic perspective?

I am a Christian living in a secular world, I can't be able to discuss from Islamic perspective based on the fact that I am not a Muslim. My little knowledge of Islam is not a qualification to speak from their own angle.

I know say Tonye no like me but this your write up need person wey don chop belleful to read am

As for me


Aisha is Right


Buhari is Wrong

Hello from the other room

Mujaheeeden:
I know say Tonye no like me but this your write up need person wey don chop belleful to read am

On the contrary, I like you 100%. In fact, I love you as a brother...



But na you no like me..

Do you know what that woman has endured for long before she voiced out? Muslims are conservative and their wives even when educated tend to live conservatively so i don't blame her for breaking her silence and speaking out.



As for buhari


Life na per head

TonyeBarcanista:
On the contrary, I like you 100%. In fact, I love you as a brother...



But na you no like me..

Sorry for that post.

Maybe you have forgotten the fact that Aisha is not only a wife now, but First Lady of this country,
She has every right to air her mind in any medium she deems fit about what's not going right in her husband's administration,
Buhari is known to be a very stubborn person,
I won't be shocked to hear that Aisha tabled her grievances at home with him, and he dismissed her as any male chauvinist like him will do,
Taking the BBC route was her way of making her husband listen to her grievances finally,
and take her more seriously

Buhari had trusted allies way b4 he met aisha-fought a war,became minister and even head of state,quite unlike patience and goodluck jonathan.personally I think she's upset that she hasn't had much influence in terms of contracts and her 'list' of appointees taken into cognisance unlike her predecessor,PEJ

TonyeBarcanista:
I am a Christian living in a secular world, I can't be able to discuss from Islamic perspective based on the fact that I am not a Muslim. My little knowledge of Islam is not a qualification to speak from their own angle.

You must attempt to understand buhari from Islamic perspectives to strike a balance before you conclude.

Your excuse is untenable as a scholar.

Mujaheeeden:
Do you know what that woman has endured for long before she voiced out? Muslims are conservative and their wives even when educated tend to live conservatively so i don't blame her for breaking her silence and speaking out.



As for buhari


Life na per head

I understand the conservativeness of Muslim wives, but we have to understand that nobody forced them to be Muslims or to marry a Muslim.

I always believe that people should marry those that shares similar ideology and values with them.

If you are a "feminist" that doesn't believe in the role of wives as prescribed in the Bible or Koran, please, DO NOT MARRY a Christian or Muslim.

If you are a "Chauvinist" that believes women should "serve" you, please DO NOT MARRY someone that doesn't share in the ideology.

For instance, I'm not the "lousy"/proud type, I will never settle down with a lousy/proud woman to save myself some troubles.

Thankfully, my woman and I understand each other and share similar ideology.

BossKratos:




My guy sharrap! AISHA IS A BOSS!



We are not living in the caveman era anymore, and women should have a very strong say in whatever direction we intend on taking the nation!


Buhari is _fucking up! He needed to be told!











**slaps the otondo***

Must u be violent and rude?? Grow up!

This is a more balance write up in comparison to passingshot's bias epistle.

Aisha is wrong but the President is more wrong.

nedu2000:
Buhari had trusted allies way b4 he met aisha-fought a war,became minister and even head of state,quite unlike patience and goodluck jonathan.personally I think she's upset that she hasn't had much influence in terms of contracts and her 'list' of appointees taken into cognisance unlike her predecessor,PEJ

She is very right that Buhari doesn't personally know many of the people he made Ministers and Head of Agencies.
Many Ministers in Buhari's cabinet, are Apc Governor's and Godfather's candidates
She, like Many Nigerians, thought that things will truly change for the better under her husband,
But things only became worse

TonyeBarcanista:

Will you be happy if your wife comes out to join critics to lash at you?

If I am _fucking up why not?


Is the guys government not drifting into treacherous waters?


Are mamman daura and abba kyari and all those redundant old _twats that have cocooned him in the villa not advising him wrongly?


Is his battle against corruption not looking lopsided?


Is the recession not looking as if it has no end in sight?


Is his media team not _fucking up by always sending mixed signals to the public?



Are you not suprised that tinubu is being made a fool of after the mega efforts and sacrifices he made to help install him in power ?



Why is the youth wing of the Apc or even some of the nigerian youth not playing any key roles in his government?


Is nepotism not rife in his appointments?







Guy......No make me vex oh?

I support PMB 100%.

His wife belongs to no political party, she is neither an elected official nor a political appointee. She shld confine her business to personal and domestic affairs of mr president, period. Its not Aisha's business who is getting appointed to what position. This is d mistake jonathan made, and nigerians paid dearly for it. Aishba shld hide her head in shame for put both her husband's career and her own family on d line. Shameless woman!

I agree with you tonye.

Now The way forward is for PMB to listen to aisha hereby selecting opinions from her that will be for the betterment of the country. Aisha should also apologise to her husband for making such ridiculous statement in public. I hope both can achieve this feat.

blackpanda:


Must u be violent and rude?? Grow up!

Mr man! Kindly get lost from my mentions!


This is how me and barcanister(yes..that was his old moniker) have always related!


I don't know why what another man ate is making you take a _shit? Swerve with your old age.........

hungryboy:
Maybe you have forgotten the fact that Aisha is not only a wife now, but First Lady of this country,
She has every right to air her mind in any medium she deems fit about what's not going right in her husband's administration,
Buhari is known to be a very stubborn person,
I won't be shocked to hear that Aisha tabled her grievances at home with him, and he dismissed her as any male chauvinist like him will do,
Taking the BBC route was her way of making her husband listen to her grievances finally,
and take her more seriously

Aisha wasn't elected or appointed "First Lady". in fact, first Ladyship is a title not an office that comes as a privilege of being married to the President. In other words, it is tied to the President,. As such, it is unheard of that wives of leaders openly criticise their husbands that are public officers. Aside the first ladyship, it is rare for any sane spouse to openly criticise his/her partner.

If he dismissed her in private, he has failed to be a loving husband BUT it doesn't justify her.

TonyeBarcanista:

Aisha wasn't elected or appointed "First Lady". in fact, first Ladyship is a title not an office that comes as a privilege of being married to the President. In other words, it is tied to the President,. As such, it is unheard of that wives of leaders openly criticise their husbands that are public officers. Aside the first ladyship, it is rare for any sane spouse to openly criticise his/her partner.

If he dismissed her in private, he has failed to be a loving husband BUT it doesn't justify her.

you are sounding more like someone who cares more about Buhari, than the suffering many Nigerians are going through under his rule,
Oga if you wan decamp again, Make you tell us, so that we go know how to take tackle you oh?

mr opinion writer, if you no talk who go talk.

Mr Tonye, i commend the fact you apologised to atheists somewhere in ur write up.

But most of ur quotes have come from the bible. Maybe you should apologise 2 people of other religion as well.

Well,as for the excellencies,they both were very wrong especially mr Buhari himself.

And for those who blame Aisha completelx, you should remember there's a limit to what anyone can take. She might know more than she said. And as well,her husband might be a captive in the hands of this cabal. Maybe that interview was an indirect way of calling on Nigerians and those concernd to come to her husband's rescue. She's human and woman.