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Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 12:30pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
@ peggygee....i work so standing on my own when push comes to shovel is not my problem.my issue are securing the future of my kids Thank you @ akorkor.....but even if I did nt contribute to it, what abt his kids?We hv been married for 3yrs and we dated 4 8yrs b4 we married.so all he is today I was involved from the scratch.so he can't even tell me I don't hv right to every achievement made 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by rofemiguwa(f): 12:34pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
lexajen: I also got dis type of cot.its good. I got bigboy hot water flask o.it keeps water hot two straight days. I no sabi flannel gown o. I was using cusson den changed to dove sensitive soap. Its working well for us. Buy pampers mini or huggies na for d first 2months.u can den switch or alternate between cloth nappies n disposable later. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 12:42pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
loisemm....i am praying so hard just that wisdom is profitable to direct n that's why am trying to make sure my kids get what is rightfully theres.I don't know why dh has refused to see it Aside this issues,he is a swt n caring man |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 12:45pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
mimibe:thank you.....i will call my lawyer and make enquiries about that. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Nobody: 12:49pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit: Aaaww... He will loosen up with time, prayer and effort. No forcing. You can take breaks off the matter but don't forget it and wake up in future to 'reality'. God will keep us all. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by zaynie(f): 12:49pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
I don't know why you can't discuss death with your spouse...... Start by telling him what you would like to be done if you die before him. How you want to be buried. Where your valuables lie. How can it be accessed? Then ask him what he would like to be done if he dies before you. Ask him if he trusts his brother 100% to discharge all responsibilities in his absence. Ask him to put the children's name in all his things and his brother as the proxy till they are of adult age. That way the children will grow up to claim what is theirs. Also ask him if he is his brother's NOK. As for me, my husband isn't my NOK, my mom is. Cos I have the fear that he might not give her as much as I would have loved to give her. But she, I am sure she will spend all that comes in for my kids. If she dies before I do, I will change it to my all my kids. Not the eldest, all of them. On the other hand, I am my husband's next of kin. His siblings are grabby and his mother is late and I guess that makes me a better choice. He too says he will soon change it to the kids. Better that way. Back to you. If your husband has that much investment and is unwilling to put them in your hands, then one or both of you need checking out. - how are you with funds? Do you manage it well or spend it on flimsy things? - do you have children from outside your marriage? -does he? - are you his only wife? Even if your one kobo isn't there, it is yours by right. The days you supported feeding money so he could save up. The days you consoled him when he was frustrated. The days you advised Nko? The fact that you stood by him when he had nothing.... Your sacrifices are your contributions ojere 24 Likes |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by missmalachi: 12:54pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit.......just like other mamas hv rightly say....you need to talk to ur hubby and make him see reasons why his action is going to affect the future of ur kids. I know their are alot of men who dont see their siblings as a threat and therefore entrust them with investment wc at d long run backfire. Pls ensures he does d court marriage to protect u or change d properties name to that of ur kids Above all pray for long life for him so that all there plans of inheriting his things won't happen. Pele love. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by realdentist(f): 1:02pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Akorkor:My sista, I'm not in support of women not working or contributing financially to their homes, but per adventure u unintentionally find urself in that kind of situation, that doesn't make you unentitled to what ur husband owns. After all taking care of him, bearing his children and taking care of them is A LOT of work. 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Akorkor(f): 1:08pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
realdentist:You are right my sister, but in her situation, what can she do? She just have to plead and let the man know the reason for her name or their children name should be on the properties. You know this African men cannot be forced to changed their mind. For the fact that he didn't put it in the first place in wrong and the brother surveyor he's using is another case. In all, we need wisdom and prayers 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by AlphaHandMaiden(f): 1:09pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit: You should have a marriage certificate from the church that conducted the wedding. It should have nigeria's coat of arms as well as, the federal rebublic of nigeria, federal ministery of interior . A serial number and a certificate number. As well as a quote of the marriage act section 24 all written on it. That is your legal document that you are both married. In truth, you cant force him to put your name on the property documents. And you can only repeat it so much about it before he feels he is being nagged. A lot of men seem to think, women are bad with money and seem not to trust their wives with financial matters but as a woman if your hubby is the sole/main breadwinner and is of that opinion about you, you will do well to grow yourself a brain and earn his trust. How is your current household finances? Id he the main breadwinner? Do you have a joint accout or do you have to go to him for money if something is needed. Perhaps you should start with that, dont even bring up the issue of "what if anything happens to you?" Just say you would like to have a joint account for the house. let the household costs and things come from a joint account (savings and current) you both have access to. And by cost i mean rent if you are renting, electricity and gas bills, fuel money for generator, groceries and food shopping, school/nursery/creche fees and other miscellenous costs etc. With a bit of a buffer amount for emergencies. Basically anything that concerns the household. if you both discuss the account use and any big-money item that needs to come out from there, plus you keep your own private expenses out of there then some level of trust will develope between you two and You will find out that you will be the person running the account on a day to day basis. Then ask him to open a trust/savings account in the kids' name that you both have access to. And a small amount to be deposited regularly, even if not every month, quarterly is enough. You just be account manager/tax collector and make sure you remind him to put some money into it, during christmas, ask for bonus to be put in the account. . If he complains, just use joke and say you are saving for the children's Havard university fund!. Then next of kin also needs to be changed. But you cant also force that if he is not willing to change it. If you are working, make sure you have a savings of your own as well. And be very prayerful because you can only say it so much before they will start asking if you are planning any ill will. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 1:12pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
zaynie...thank u so much. Am an accountant so my default am trained to be prudent. I live a very simply life which he loves abt me. We both don't hv kids outside this marriage and am his only wife. I am the one that brings all the ideas of investment wc he agrees on. Am his nok to his dom acct and I also hv access to his other acct only via atm withdrawals. the issue is dat he is trying to please his family by acting as though he is in control of everything. thats why am against d bro being the surveyor in the first place. 2 Likes |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by zaynie(f): 1:16pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit: Ok. I get you now. Easy does it. Don't get too antagonistic or he'll wont budge and it will become a power tussle. Have that talk with him and remember to go first when you talk about death or illness. Good luck. 2 Likes |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Akorkor(f): 1:17pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
@Alphahandmaiden, thank you for that input |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 1:28pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
AlphaHandmaiden..... We don't hv a joint account.instead he fund my personal account for the house upkeep which he know I manage it well. infact the issue of managing his fund is nt a problem cos even to my face he praises me in front of his friends when issues of fund n home management comes up. We have account for our 2 kids wch he fund monthly and am d only signatory to it. the dollar n pounds domiciliary account he opens after our marriage am his nok but his bro is still the nok for his salary account yes he is d main braidwinner in his family Missmalachi...thank u so much.he as me nt to talk abt it again that he will effect all the changes when he is ready. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Sixx: 1:30pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
BellaElla:cc Olateboney, she may still have in stock. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Nobody: 1:34pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit ,I have one more contrib to this matter and then I will return to reading this my favourite thread quietly (I learn a lot here. Very versatile thread). Later, you guys or him or damn even you, can consider building a house or having a business or a strong investment solely in your name. You will feel so loved and secure. And of course, by extension he will secure his children's future and well being. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Mnit: 1:43pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Loisemm:thank you so much...i appreciate all contributions here today. i feel so relieved cos i cant even tell anyone around me.cos everyone feels this are perfect couple who hv everything going for them. thank you so much 2 Likes |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by AlphaHandMaiden(f): 1:43pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit: Then just let it rest, and just discuss as mama zaynie has said, if anything nlhappens to you....... you would like him to....... You may still want to consider the joint account option, and also do a joint savings for things like emergencies or even family holidays. . But just leave it to God in prayer. As you seem to have a good thing going already you dont want to cause friction between the two of you. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by apex1234: 1:51pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mnit: why not tell him to buy properties in the children's name or better still open account for them and make monthly deposit. That will help too |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Purity77: 1:59pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
iomoge2:Really! Wow, I'll call them & find out. Thank you so much mama. God bless you. |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Purity77: 2:07pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Thanks so much Mama Zaynie & every other Mama that responded. May God bless you all. I just knew I could get all the prompt & very useful information I needed here. All the mamas here, you guys rock. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Purity77: 2:13pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Mama Zaynie, pls one quick final question. So no need for me to buy the Huggies newborn abi? I mean the one that has 'nb' inscribed on it. I should start from either the one that has '1' written on it or '2'? From all indications, I might be having a huge baby (genetics). |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by enque(f): 2:41pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Hi Teamie, I remember a saturday, sometime last month, I did one kind long excessive trekking (i was feeling like one kain fit preggy mama). Let's just say ever since that day, I no de pass my boundary again, cos the rest of the week was crazy. My LO was just doing one kind afterwards and I had serious pains in my lower abdomen. I didn't need a doctor to tell me i overdid it. I think you should slow down for now, when you are getting closer to ur EDD, U can resume. Ammy5565: |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by zaynie(f): 2:57pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Purity77: No. Just go for size 1. 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Purity77: 3:06pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
XX01: Thank you so much mama. So they'll give me all those freebies eh for trial. Very interesting! For the diaper, I'll just buy some of huggies size 2 for now & wait. Many many thanks Ma. God bless you much. Thank you so much too mama Zaynie. Since hospital will give us free diapers after delivery, I guess I'll just buy the size 2 & keep for now. If they no give me plenty at hospital, we can always breeze to the mall anytime & buy some smaller size ie if baby won't fit into size 2 by then self. Ose Ma! 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Purity77: 3:37pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
[quote author=sugah post=50214283][/quote] Thank you so much Sugar. That Kirkland was my first choice when I was going, but I didn't see it at that particular walmart so I switched to Huggies. Which other place is it sold? And which size & particular type (if any) did u get? |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by PresVA: 3:39pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Please how does one know if her Episiotomy site needs to be re stitched? just looked at mine now and it has an opening. . but I'm neither bleeding nor feeling any pain from there.. so scared of going to the hospital cc tipsyjules , grandyluv and other mamas that hv epi. experience. . |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Pacypatty(f): 3:41pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Onegai: Pls ma want to send a pm,do I go ahead? |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Zheemub(f): 3:45pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
@mint, all has been said. Take it to heart and decide ur next step. I pray for God's wisdom and peace in ur home and ours too. Ameen |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by ebonychic18(f): 4:02pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Purity77:I'll advise you just skip to size 2. All my babies weighed above 4.1kg and the size 1 was used only for about 2 weeks. It became too snug so had to give them out. For my 2nd baby I didn't even bother with size 1 went straight to size 2. I birth really big babies too(genetics). 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by Gaily04(f): 4:35pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
feddy27: Congratulations dear and welcome to baby fedora, a.k.a Wari babe. We thank God for safe delivery, am so happy for you. 1 Like |
Re: Pregnancy Are You Pregnant Or Going Through A High Risk Pregnancy,,lets Talk by sugah: 5:01pm On Oct 15, 2016 |
Purity77:Actually, only Costco sells it. You can also buy it online on Costco.com I haven't bought any diapers yet.....I'm still using the one someone dashed me. Its a new brand called honest diapers. I still have over 100 pieces 1 Like |
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