@ peggygee....i work so standing on my own when push comes to shovel is not my problem.my issue are securing the future of my kids

Thank you @ akorkor.....but even if I did nt contribute to it, what abt his kids?We hv been married for 3yrs and we dated 4 8yrs b4 we married.so all he is today I was involved from the scratch.so he can't even tell me I don't hv right to every achievement made

lexajen:
I intend to buy baby diapers.

Is Napkin still in vogue, the white type I mean...
Or should I buy disposable kind?

Which one is affordable and what size can I get for a new born that will not make me regret? I'm scared of pampers

Also, which soap and oil and powder is best recommended.
I was also told to buy antiseptic baby cream, which one will I buy.

What does a flannel gown look like?

Which hot water flask brand is best?

Please no read and ignore me o o o
Epp me with answers please.

Onegai florena iomoge2 rofemiguwa Zaynie.
Everyone please

*modified*

Ehen, Mamas, this is type of cot I bought..
You may notice it has two layers.
I was thinking of buying something foamy to augment the sleeping surface, but I don't know the name I will call to market people, please advise me.

I also got dis type of cot.its good.
I got bigboy hot water flask o.it keeps water hot two straight days.

I no sabi flannel gown o.

I was using cusson den changed to dove sensitive soap.
Its working well for us.

Buy pampers mini or huggies na for d first 2months.u can den switch or alternate between cloth nappies n disposable later.

loisemm....i am praying so hard just that wisdom is profitable to direct n that's why am trying to make sure my kids get what is rightfully theres.I don't know why dh has refused to see it

Aside this issues,he is a swt n caring man

mimibe:

Try and get ur marriage registered, it's very important. I have been married for 5yrs now and it has not been so easy with extended family from both sides, u guys might not get the full potential of ur marriage if extended family is involved in decision making in ur home. Talk to ur husband as a wise woman, you got all the powers.

thank you.....i will call my lawyer and make enquiries about that.

Mnit:
loisemm....i am praying so hard just that wisdom is profitable to direct n that's why am trying to make sure my kids get what is rightfully theres.I don't know why dh has refused to see it

Aside this issues,he is a swt n caring man

Aaaww... He will loosen up with time, prayer and effort. No forcing. You can take breaks off the matter but don't forget it and wake up in future to 'reality'.
God will keep us all.

I don't know why you can't discuss death with your spouse......
Start by telling him what you would like to be done if you die before him. How you want to be buried. Where your valuables lie. How can it be accessed?
Then ask him what he would like to be done if he dies before you. Ask him if he trusts his brother 100% to discharge all responsibilities in his absence. Ask him to put the children's name in all his things and his brother as the proxy till they are of adult age. That way the children will grow up to claim what is theirs.
Also ask him if he is his brother's NOK.



As for me, my husband isn't my NOK, my mom is. Cos I have the fear that he might not give her as much as I would have loved to give her. But she, I am sure she will spend all that comes in for my kids.
If she dies before I do, I will change it to my all my kids. Not the eldest, all of them.
On the other hand, I am my husband's next of kin. His siblings are grabby and his mother is late and I guess that makes me a better choice. He too says he will soon change it to the kids. Better that way.



Back to you.
If your husband has that much investment and is unwilling to put them in your hands, then one or both of you need checking out.
- how are you with funds? Do you manage it well or spend it on flimsy things?
- do you have children from outside your marriage?
-does he?
- are you his only wife?


Even if your one kobo isn't there, it is yours by right.
The days you supported feeding money so he could save up.
The days you consoled him when he was frustrated.
The days you advised Nko?
The fact that you stood by him when he had nothing....
Your sacrifices are your contributions ojere

Mnit.......just like other mamas hv rightly say....you need to talk to ur hubby and make him see reasons why his action is going to affect the future of ur kids.

I know their are alot of men who dont see their siblings as a threat and therefore entrust them with investment wc at d long run backfire.

Pls ensures he does d court marriage to protect u or change d properties name to that of ur kids

Above all pray for long life for him so that all there plans of inheriting his things won't happen.
Pele love.

Akorkor:

First of all, my question is are you working or supporting your husband in anyway? The landed property acquired did you input some part of your money in anyway? If yes, then you are not being paranoid,you have right as much as he does to the name written on the document. If no, then please let him rest; he may decide on whoever names BC he desires to put on the document.
Also about court marriage issue, I think they have used corner for you. Just cry to God silently to change his mind and he will dance to your tone on that because I believe there is nothing God cannot do.

In all we need JEHOVAH in our home. And may the lord help us

My sista, I'm not in support of women not working or contributing financially to their homes, but per adventure u unintentionally find urself in that kind of situation, that doesn't make you unentitled to what ur husband owns. After all taking care of him, bearing his children and taking care of them is A LOT of work.

realdentist:

My sista, I'm not in support of women not working or contributing financially to their homes, but per adventure u unintentionally find urself in that kind of situation, that doesn't make you unentitled to what ur husband owns. After all taking care of him, bearing his children and taking care of them is A LOT of work.

You are right my sister, but in her situation, what can she do? She just have to plead and let the man know the reason for her name or their children name should be on the properties.
You know this African men cannot be forced to changed their mind. For the fact that he didn't put it in the first place in wrong and the brother surveyor he's using is another case.

In all, we need wisdom and prayers

Mnit:
AlphaHandmaiden....<br>
Thank you so much for contributing <br>
My money is not involved in any of the properties and that is not even an issue.<br>
2ndly....the church that wedded us is a registered church so i dont know if that count.<br>
My major concern is not even about now but abt d future.<br>
<br>
@sugah.....b4 we married,his brother has been his next of kin and he has&apos;nt change.<br>
<br>
Jazzyjazzy..... i did change of name on news paper n had an affidavit to support it .i dont know if it is same as you explain.

You should have a marriage certificate from the church that conducted the wedding. It should have nigeria's coat of arms as well as, the federal rebublic of nigeria, federal ministery of interior . A serial number and a certificate number. As well as a quote of the marriage act section 24 all written on it. That is your legal document that you are both married.

In truth, you cant force him to put your name on the property documents. And you can only repeat it so much about it before he feels he is being nagged.

A lot of men seem to think, women are bad with money and seem not to trust their wives with financial matters but as a woman if your hubby is the sole/main breadwinner and is of that opinion about you, you will do well to grow yourself a brain and earn his trust.

How is your current household finances?
Id he the main breadwinner?
Do you have a joint accout or do you have to go to him for money if something is needed.

Perhaps you should start with that, dont even bring up the issue of "what if anything happens to you?"

Just say you would like to have a joint account for the house.
let the household costs and things come from a joint account (savings and current) you both have access to. And by cost i mean rent if you are renting, electricity and gas bills, fuel money for generator, groceries and food shopping, school/nursery/creche fees and other miscellenous costs etc. With a bit of a buffer amount for emergencies. Basically anything that concerns the household.

if you both discuss the account use and any big-money item that needs to come out from there, plus you keep your own private expenses out of there then some level of trust will develope between you two and You will find out that you will be the person running the account on a day to day basis.

Then ask him to open a trust/savings account in the kids' name that you both have access to. And a small amount to be deposited regularly, even if not every month, quarterly is enough. You just be account manager/tax collector and make sure you remind him to put some money into it, during christmas, ask for bonus to be put in the account. . If he complains, just use joke and say you are saving for the children's Havard university fund!.

Then next of kin also needs to be changed. But you cant also force that if he is not willing to change it.

If you are working, make sure you have a savings of your own as well.

And be very prayerful because you can only say it so much before they will start asking if you are planning any ill will.

zaynie...thank u so much.
Am an accountant so my default am trained to be prudent.
I live a very simply life which he loves abt me.
We both don't hv kids outside this marriage and am his only wife.
I am the one that brings all the ideas of investment wc he agrees on.

Am his nok to his dom acct and I also hv access to his other acct only via atm withdrawals.
the issue is dat he is trying to please his family by acting as though he is in control of everything.
thats why am against d bro being the surveyor in the first place.

Mnit:
zaynie...thank u so much.
Am an accountant so my default am trained to be prudent.
I live a very simply life which he loves abt me.
We both don't hv kids outside this marriage and am his only wife.
I am the one that brings all the ideas of investment wc he agrees on.

Am his nok to his dom acct and I also hv access to his other acct only via atm withdrawals.
the issue is dat he is trying to please his family by acting as though he is in control of everything.
thats why am against d bro being the surveyor in the first place.

Ok. I get you now.
Easy does it.
Don't get too antagonistic or he'll wont budge and it will become a power tussle.
Have that talk with him and remember to go first when you talk about death or illness.


Good luck.

@Alphahandmaiden, thank you for that input

AlphaHandmaiden.....
We don't hv a joint account.instead he fund my personal account for the house upkeep which he know I manage it well.
infact the issue of managing his fund is nt a problem cos even to my face he praises me in front of his friends when issues of fund n home management comes up.
We have account for our 2 kids wch he fund monthly and am d only signatory to it.
the dollar n pounds domiciliary account he opens after our marriage am his nok but his bro is still the nok for his salary account
yes he is d main braidwinner in his family


Missmalachi...thank u so much.he as me nt to talk abt it again that he will effect all the changes when he is ready.

BellaElla:
Mamas please can anyone send me postpartum belt between today and Monday latest.
I am in ph. Pls quote me if u hv as I no Sabi pm o.

cc Olateboney, she may still have in stock.

Mnit ,I have one more contrib to this matter and then I will return to reading this my favourite thread quietly (I learn a lot here. Very versatile thread).

Later, you guys or him or damn even you, can consider building a house or having a business or a strong investment solely in your name.
You will feel so loved and secure. And of course, by extension he will secure his children's future and well being.

Loisemm:
Mnit ,I have one more contrib to this matter and then I will return to reading this my favourite thread quietly (I learn a lot here. Very versatile thread).

Later, you guys or him or damn even you, can consider building a house or having a business or a strong investment solely in your name.
You will feel so loved and secure. And of course, by extension he will secure his children's future and well being.

My current landlady has a big 2 storey house built by her husband for her. And it is in her name alone. They have other houses too. She has a big shop managed by her situated on the first floor.
I talked about this wise and loving act of her husband to my Dh so much that he said ,'its okay. I know where you are going. I will build you a house too'.

I pray o

thank you so much...i appreciate all contributions here today.
i feel so relieved cos i cant even tell anyone around me.cos everyone feels this are perfect couple who hv everything going for them.
thank you so much

Mnit:
AlphaHandmaiden.....
We don't hv a joint account.instead he fund my personal account for the house upkeep which he know I manage it well.
infact the issue of managing his fund is nt a problem cos even to my face he praises me in front of his friends when issues of fund n home management comes up.
We have account for our 2 kids wch he fund monthly and am d only signatory to it.
the dollar n pounds domiciliary account he opens after our marriage am his nok but his bro is still the nok for his salary account
yes he is d main braidwinner in his family


Missmalachi...thank u so much.he as me nt to talk abt it again that he will effect all the changes when he is ready.

Then just let it rest, and just discuss as mama zaynie has said, if anything nlhappens to you....... you would like him to.......

You may still want to consider the joint account option, and also do a joint savings for things like emergencies or even family holidays. .

But just leave it to God in prayer. As you seem to have a good thing going already you dont want to cause friction between the two of you.

Mnit:
loisemm....i am praying so hard just that wisdom is profitable to direct n that's why am trying to make sure my kids get what is rightfully theres.I don't know why dh has refused to see it

Aside this issues,he is a swt n caring man

why not tell him to buy properties in the children's name or better still open account for them and make monthly deposit. That will help too

iomoge2:
Do u have health insurance? If yes find out if they Will be giving u car seat b4 buying.

I think they gave feddy27 or sugah.... cant remember now.

Really!
Wow, I'll call them & find out.

Thank you so much mama. God bless you.

Thanks so much Mama Zaynie & every other Mama that responded. May God bless you all.

I just knew I could get all the prompt & very useful information I needed here.
All the mamas here, you guys rock.
Thanks

Mama Zaynie, pls one quick final question.
So no need for me to buy the Huggies newborn abi? I mean the one that has 'nb' inscribed on it.
I should start from either the one that has '1' written on it or '2'?
From all indications, I might be having a huge baby (genetics).

Hi Teamie,

I remember a saturday, sometime last month, I did one kind long excessive trekking (i was feeling like one kain fit preggy mama). Let's just say ever since that day, I no de pass my boundary again, cos the rest of the week was crazy. My LO was just doing one kind afterwards and I had serious pains in my lower abdomen. I didn't need a doctor to tell me i overdid it.

I think you should slow down for now, when you are getting closer to ur EDD, U can resume.

Ammy5565:
Thanks favouredmum for ur input. God bless u ma. I just dont want to make a mistake, u even need to see me after the walks, all my bones nd waist will jez finish.

Mamas can know how to ignore some1 here ehn!
Pls u ppl shud help a FTM oh. Biko nu.

Purity77:
Mama Zaynie, pls one quick final question.
So no need for me to buy the Huggies newborn abi? I mean the one that has 'nb' inscribed on it.
I should start from either the one that has '1' written on it or '2'?
From all indications, I might be having a huge baby (genetics).

No.
Just go for size 1.

XX01:
@Purity77

Thank you so much mama.

So they'll give me all those freebies eh for trial. Very interesting!

For the diaper, I'll just buy some of huggies size 2 for now & wait.
Many many thanks Ma. God bless you much.



Thank you so much too mama Zaynie.
Since hospital will give us free diapers after delivery, I guess I'll just buy the size 2 & keep for now.
If they no give me plenty at hospital, we can always breeze to the mall anytime & buy some smaller size ie if baby won't fit into size 2 by then self.
Ose Ma!

[quote author=sugah post=50214283][/quote]

Thank you so much Sugar.

That Kirkland was my first choice when I was going, but I didn't see it at that particular walmart so I switched to Huggies.
Which other place is it sold? And which size & particular type (if any) did u get?

Please how does one know if her Episiotomy site needs to be re stitched? just looked at mine now and it has an opening. . but I'm neither bleeding nor feeling any pain from there..
so scared of going to the hospital

cc tipsyjules , grandyluv and other mamas that hv epi. experience. .

Onegai:


I use nappies and cloth wipes and they work well for me and I believe in the long run, they are much cheaper and function better than most locally produced diaposable diapers. I used Aveeno baby wash and switched to Dove pure and sensitive after 3 months. Antiseptic baby cream is unnecessary in my opinion and I shared on the Newborn thread a link that antibacterial handwashes and soaps were being banned in the U.S. from next year. I can answer more there on that thread if you like.

Pls ma want to send a pm,do I go ahead?

@mint, all has been said. Take it to heart and decide ur next step.
I pray for God's wisdom and peace in ur home and ours too. Ameen

Purity77:
Mama Zaynie, pls one quick final question.
So no need for me to buy the Huggies newborn abi? I mean the one that has 'nb' inscribed on it.
I should start from either the one that has '1' written on it or '2'?
From all indications, I might be having a huge baby (genetics).

I'll advise you just skip to size 2. All my babies weighed above 4.1kg and the size 1 was used only for about 2 weeks. It became too snug so had to give them out. For my 2nd baby I didn't even bother with size 1 went straight to size 2. I birth really big babies too(genetics).

feddy27:
Baby Fedora is here!!!!! Born Oct 4 @ 5.50pm US time (11.50pm naija time).

Congratulations dear and welcome to baby fedora, a.k.a Wari babe. We thank God for safe delivery, am so happy for you.

Purity77:


Thank you so much Sugar.

That Kirkland was my first choice when I was going, but I didn't see it at that particular walmart so I switched to Huggies.
Which other place is it sold? And which size & particular type (if any) did u get?

Actually, only Costco sells it. You can also buy it online on Costco.com

I haven't bought any diapers yet.....I'm still using the one someone dashed me. Its a new brand called honest diapers. I still have over 100 pieces