Someone recently asked me to write on this issue, then I realized we were having this same problem at home. My step-father is a very traditional man, sometimes I wonder what my mum saw in him, she’s the typical educated lady who speaks more English than a Briton, and she’s way intelligent than her peers, so imagine our surprise when she said it was him she’s decided to spend her life with.


My dad died a long time ago, it wasn’t an easy marriage for them, separation, family intrusion and the rest, they were separated for more than a decade before he died, I’m glad they parched things up though.


My mum is a salary earner with the Lagos state government and for as long as I can remember, it’s been one quarrel with her and my step-dad to another, he says a woman must tell her husband how much she earns, my mum says if she tells him he will stop doing the normal things a man and a father would do at home, all because according to him my mum earns more than he does in a month {I don’t believe this though, he’s a funny man}


Well now the issue is, he wants my mum to tender her salary every month so that he can share it, tell her what and what to do with the salary and all, my mum says he must be joking, she pays bills, power bill, maintenance at home and sometimes feeding, because things haven’t been looking up real well for him because of the ban on importation of rice {he’s a supplier}


Now being who I am, unbiased, I want to resolve this issue amicably, it is wrong to ask a woman to tender her salary when you don’t tender yours, if you want to make it so, both of you should have a joint account where each month you put something in it from your earnings so when you both need something urgently you can withdraw from it.


There are women who do this, and this has worked for them, they are doing it because it was willingly done and not forced, I actually know someone who does something like this, the husband hasn’t had a job in like forever and at the end of the month, she shares part of her salary and gives him for his maintenance and that of the house.



What’s you take on this issue I would love to hear opinions.



Thanks and God bless


Isabella Ibeji

Below is an interview i did with my mum and dad, watch, share, and subscribe to my channel, we can only get better when we appreciate each other's efforts.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXaKdZ_gFRk

Interesting.

It is important to note that every family is different,and so one can not authoritatively say this is how it should be.

There are husbands that beat their wives up,others don't. There are husbands that cook at home,and others will not go near the kitchen,and there are husbands that will demand to know how much their wives earn and others won't.

The truth is,if a man is doing well in life,he will be less concerned with what the woman makes,even if she is the President of a Nation.

Ok

on a normal circumstances that is how it suppose to be though some families still maintain that

Women should not be coerced into handing their salaries to their hubbies.
It should rather be out of mutual consent...

my wife should belong to the bed room,the kitchen and the other room .I am making enough money already she doesn't need to work .stories like these should not exist in my house biko .

HungerBAD:
Interesting.

It is important to note that every family is different,and so one can not authoritatively say this is how it should be.

There are husbands that beat their wives up,others don't. There are husbands that cook at home,and others will not go near the kitchen,and there are husbands that will demand to know how how their wives earn and others won't.

The truth is,if a man is doing well in life,he will be less concerned with what the woman makes,even if she is the President of a Nation.

I just love the way you said this, thanks

richieadams:
on a normal circumstances that is how it suppose to be though some families still maintain that

really?

uboma:
Women should not be coerced into handing their salaries to their hubbies.

It should rather be out of mutual consent...

Consent
exactly

If the man and woman have mutual understanding, they pull resources together and run the home in peace. Husband brings, wife brings. Only a wayward husband or one who is battling for supremacy would fight with his woman to hand over her paycheck.
In my honest opinion.

Tender ko,

Nurture ni


Lemme just read comments before am termed ' Feminist '

Diddyydiva:
Tender ko,

Nurture ni


Lemme just read comments before am termed ' Feminist '

oya speak

delishpot:
If the man and woman have mutual understanding, they pull resources together and run the home in peace. Husband brings, wife brings. Only a wayward husband or one who is battling for supremacy would fight with his woman to hand over her paycheck.
In my honest opinion.

nice talk

Talk2Bella:


oya speak

In my own opinion, it is not obligatory for a woman to tender her salary to her husband.

Why would she?

Assisting in financial responsibilities is okay but making it the woman's duty is bad.

Of course there could be a mutual agreement on percentage of the woman's salary that will go into the family's up keeping .


Tendering is a no no for me

Diddyydiva:
In my own opinion, it is not obligatory for a woman to tender her salary to her husband.

Why would she?

Assisting in financial responsibilities is okay but making it the woman's duty is bad.

Of course there could be a mutual agreement on percentage of the woman's salary that will go into the family's up keeping .


Tendering is a no no for me

are u a feminist?

we believe in equal responsibilities

I see nothing wrong in being sincere to your husband by telling him how much you actually earn, but hate it when men just don't want to be men.

Nice comment hungerbad, you just spoke the truth.




I don't think a woman should tender her salary to her husband, even joint accounts pose a risk as well..



My opinion is the same as that of the Op's parents and they really did well in that video.


Thumbs up talk2bella. We love you.

Talk2Bella:


are u a feminist?

we believe in equal responsibilities

Feminism is not well defined in Nigeria, It has been abused by power starved women. I don't know your own definition of it so your will be difficult to answer.

There's love in sharing .....although I disagree in the terms that; my partner get to know the truth of my earnings because it can lead to some disadvantages like my partner avoiding most of his responsibilities, both of us having one account is a no no, him deciding what and what not to do with my money ( I earned and work hard for that money, it's my money so I get to decide not him), and lastly; Nothing will ever make me to surrender my whole salary to my partner when I'm still in my right state of mind, only slaves do that

there is no need for the man to ask for her money. He should allow her buy things in the house willingly cos I know a good woman will not abandon the well-being of her home if she has money. So why ask her when u know she will take care of things where you can't? Most women will not give their salaries to their husbands cos they fear the men will use the money to chase other women and that is a treasonable offense

My parents are working class. My father used to earn more than my mother. He used to be the one taking responsibility for everything in the house; school fees and the rest. After sometime, my mother got a pay rise and she started earning more than my father. My father was still performing all his responsibilities despite the fact that my mother now earns more than him. My mother just helps out in one or two things in the house and there is peace everywhere.
Be like my parents!

brb

...just tender your salary to him and go stay in the other room.., is that difficult to do

Haba, a woman is a home maker and should handle d financial aspect in a home. My hubby does not demand for my salary rather he gives me money from his salary for monthly upkeep, since I'm also working I take care of some of d bills.

To answer the question: they should, only if they want to.

Moving on, only a husband without shame would try to force his wife to surrender her salary to him after receipt.

IMHO, it is grossly irresponsible for a man to do that. If he is ready falling short in providing the basic needs in his home, he should double his hustle and then the wife, with her discretion, would complement him. He shouldn't RAPE the woman's income

Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes if she want to tender it.
Women sha! If there is no problem they must invent one.
Moreover any body that did not call me there when they were making agreement to become husband and wife should not disturb me with their problems.
If a woman have decided to marry, she should be ready to share more things than in the" other room".
Men and women should understand the meaning of love.
When there is mutual understanding, things will move on smoothly.
To the unmarried, iron out your finances so that you will not get married and be asking may be you should tender your salary or not.
Little things can cause big problems in marriage if not properly ironed out at the initial stage.

Y

Tender Salary bawo..lol...As i dey hustle for my money abi?Well,i am waiting for that man with the liver to even jokingly suggest that to me!When no be him help me find the work?
Abi e follow train me?
How that play wan take pass start?
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Nairalanders,abeg place your orders and support my legit hustle...

for what na?
if I'm to give my money to my husband
should be from my heart
not working and bringing my salary to him
meka why?

There are no general rules. No right or wrong. Can't use my mentality, exposure, upbringing to judge others.


I should definitely know how much my wife makes just like she should know mine bur what she does with her money outside her monthly obligation is not a major concern of mine