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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? (8782 Views)
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Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 9:53am On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: Lust! Its a word rarely spoken in our society and when we do, it is called love. Have you ever wondered why the greatest advocate of LOVE (Musicians and Actors) usually dont have good marriages? It is because what they present is the feeling of love rather than love itself. Lust is just a desire to gratify self at the expense of another! Examples: You see this tall, dark, handsome dude, and your heart melts (we call it love at first sight) The way he speaks, smiles and carries himself make you weak (..she says I think I'm falling in love) Etc. In the two examples above, the primary force at work is Having this Guy to yourself! Why? It will complement you and your desires! The question is, would it complement him too? Will it make him happy? BUT Suppose he is epileptic, would you still have him? Suppose he just left the prison, will you accept him? You see, a complete information about a person usually burst the bubble of lust. This is what marriage does, it gives you a complete information. Marriage is an eye opener especially if the necessary communication was done to open it during courtship. Lust is an Emotion BUT Love is a Decision Love is NOT emotion (Not a feeling) , it is a CHOICE to give selflessly and Sacrificially for the Joy of the other Person. Lust can also be a spirit but not in every case. Lust is primarily a longing to have because we feel it augments us. We are the primary beneficiary. God help us. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 10:01am On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: The major reason for abstinence in Christian courtship is NOT the consequences (spiritual, socialbor physical). The main reason is GOD. How can I do this and Sin Against God! My Body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit! How can I defile it? I am wonderfully and fearfully made, Satan must not have access to my body. This is why Secondary Virginity is important for those whobeither by ignorance or deliberate action lost their innocence to anyone. They can repent and turn a new leaf. Virginity is NOT a guarantee for a happy married life. Serious Christians pay higher price when they engage in sexual immorality |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 10:12am On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: Amen! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 10:13am On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: I started learning about people's spirits by shifting my mind spiritually to random people that were neighbors, friends, sometimes people on TV. It's unwise because it changed my own spiritual atmosphere negatively. I'd be in perfect peace one day, and after such I suddenly loose my peace, which would take a long time to get back. I don't do that anymore. One thing I learnt is that there are different kinds of powers that rule over people. One of those powers is lust. Lust can also be self generated by thoughts. But am talking about a spiritual one that is transferable between persons and it's tangible in a way of speaking. You can tell when it comes and when it goes. That is a spirit. 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:16am On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka:I want to believe the foundation you mean is building solidly on the principles of God as it concerns marriage (?). This communication (which i agree with), is it done at a distance or face to face? today, phones are here and communication is made easy, and lying has also been mechanised by it. Well, i think basically, no one shd choose a spouse without God's direction and guidance. We all may be believers but, not all of us are compatible, so the plausible thing to do is, go on your knees. By His Grace, i think i wont make a mistake in marrying a wrong person, that is, if i remain sensitive to the spirit. Which i depend on the Holy Spirit to be. When it comes to men coming around me, God reveals quickly who they are to me in dreams. And what i see happens almost immediately my Ba3 is out now. but i may have to share a dream i had not long ago with you sometime later. Satan targets what you desire strongly per time and sends what looks like what you need, and if no spiritual sensitivity, you fall head long. We shd be careful when in dare need. As God knows our needs the enemy also knows. When the enemy sends someone or sends something, it appears to always be too good to be true. But watch it. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:28am On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Good bless us. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:39am On Oct 20, 2016 |
Muafrika2:I dont understand, how do you shift your mind spiritually to another persons spirit, even on Tv? |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:42am On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Seriously. Its very important to obey God. When in marriage, Na you go even tire sed. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 10:47am On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka:Wow, I think i shd open a diary and take notes. *LOVE IS NOT EMOTION, IT'S A CHOICE* |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 11:03am On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: It's probably something to do with my personality. But the things you stay your mind on eventually become part of makes up your a spirit. And I spend alot of time in my thoughts. That's why we control our minds to think on ...
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Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 11:10am On Oct 20, 2016 |
Muafrika2: I perfectly agree with you. Most men have experienced this without attributing spirituality to it but of course, it is heavily spiritual. Guys may have noticed that when some ladies come within your vicinty, a thought of lust will surface out of no where. They don't have to be beautiful or dress sexually provocatively. That is the aura they carry around. These ladies dobnot have to think about sex but they spray around that connection to themselves. Its just like in some deliverance cases where you find a and unmarried lady who is only approached for marriage by old married men. There is a lot in the unseen rhelm. I treat them with a very long pole no matter how friendly they are. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 11:15am On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka: 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 1:05pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Muafrika2: I perfectly agree with you. Most men have experienced this without attributing spirituality to it but of course, it is heavily spiritual. Guys may have noticed that when some ladies come within your vicinty, a thought of list will surface out of no where. They don't have to be beautiful or dress sexually provocatively. That is the aura they carry around. These ladies dobnot have to think about sex but they spray around that connection to themselves. Its just like in some deliverance cases where you find a and unmarried lady who is only approached for marriage by old married men. There is a lot in the unseen rhelm. I treat them with a very long pole no matter how friendly they are. They are dangerous as secretaries for any MOG. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Scholar8200(m): 1:22pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
I read this from a book and felt it may be relevant here, enjoy https://www.raptureready.com/resource/brengle/ancient02.html 2 Likes |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by analice107: 1:39pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Muafrika2:Hmmm. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Jdazzle: 2:18pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: Very correct |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Jdazzle: 2:20pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
[/b] shadeyinka: The major reason for abstinence in Christian courtship is NOT the consequences (spiritual, socialbor physical). The main reason is GOD. How can I do this and Sin Against God! My Body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit! How can I defile it? I am wonderfully and fearfully made, Satan must not have access to my body. This is why Secondary Virginity is important for those whobeither by ignorance or deliberate action lost their innocence to anyone. They can repent and turn a new leaf. Virginity is NOT a guarantee for a happy married life. [b]Serious Christians pay higher price when they engage in sexual immorality True 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 2:44pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: Unfortunately, a good marriage is not attained ONLY by spirituality. A couple who love God and live impeccable christian lives may still not have a good marriage. Their marriage may be absent of major crises and quarrels but their marriage is still ordinary. Most of our parents were in this category. They had a peaceful cordial marriage with nothing spectacular. If that is a persons definition of a good marriage, then a strong Christian virtue is OK. But if what you want it that which is higher than the norm, then you have to work on the other foundations. Basically the three foundations are: 1. Fruit of the Spirit 2. Love (Unconditional, Friendship and Emotional) and Respect 3. Communications Under communication, you do not need to agree but to understand and respect each others views. Things to discuss deeply well before Marriage include: Love, Third Parties, Money and Possessions, Inlaws , Treasury, Career, Children Upbringing, Future Plans, Weaknesses, Sex, Spiritual etc with respect to your dispositions to it. One other things to discuss are the "What If....questions": What if we only have girl children? What if I loose my Job? What if I have problems with my mother in-law? What if we have a conflict stalemate? Etc etc. Communication is deep when these are prayerfully tackeld. analice107: Communication, the type that I spoke about above is best done in a face to face manner. Only in extreme cases must the phones replace it. It is 10 time more investment for a long distance courtship. analice107: I agree perfectly with you, Gods direction is a Must for believers o! My first real crush was a girl who was more "spiritually sound" than me but you know what God said to me? One single word answer; NO! God prevents us from making choices that will wreck our life especially with Him and in relation to our eternity and spiritual assignment He has given us. analice107: There is nothing like compatibility in relationships. Its all about Love, Respect and the Fruit of the Holy Spirit. Or, maybe I am jumping the gun. Define what you mean by Compatibility? analice107: The procedure I recommend for knowing Gods will for marriage is: 1. The guy comes and makes his intentions known 2. Is this the kind of Person I wish to live with? 3. You Assess: i. Is he Born Again? ii. Does he love God iii. Is he socially respectible? iv. Do I think he really loves me? If he reasonably passes ALL above, the next step is to 4. Ask for Gods Opinion (truthfully and be ready to stand by Gods final decision) Oh my Father, this Guy ...came. I think, I will like to marry this guy, he is tall, handsome and rich. I think he is born again and loves You. Father, what do you say? Do I say Yes? And the Lord will Guide you with either 1. Yes! 2. No! 3. Wait OR 4. Silence! analice107: OK! Whenever you are ready. On WhatsApp though! analice107: Perfectly said! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 2:56pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: Its always an opportunity for Satan to hit very very hard! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 3:00pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
analice107: That's true: Many times O don't feel emotional to my wife, like when Iam at work. But does it mean I don't love her? Certainly Not! Feeling is like a Barometer! It fluctuates like the weather and so should not be the basis of marriage. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 3:02pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Muafrika2: I think you should open a thread to explain this. Don't you think so? When you do, holla us o! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 3:09pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
shadeyinka: Hmm. We'll see. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 3:14pm On Oct 20, 2016 |
Scholar8200: Its a beautiful writeup. 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 4:25am On Oct 21, 2016 |
I just remembered something about night vigils. Should married men allow their wives to go alone? Are they safe for unmarried women? Concerning one, a certain church decided to take one of their Friday night vigils just outside the estate where there was less development and more quiet. They found an old building that they used. Sometime at 3.00 am, a thoroughly armed gang broke into the church brandishing guns. Guess what the pastor and the men did: They took to their hills, run into the open fields for safety, and left the church valuables for the thieves. They left the women. And you know it's the most prayerful, worship leaders, dedicated women who attend night vigils. They were raped. The person who was narrating this story to us was one of the men who had been present on that day and ran. He was a new leader at my church. He was using it as an example of why we should pray hard during night vigils, that we were too relaxed It was my last night vigil. I know of another church also robbed at gunpoint during an evening service - around 8.00 pm. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 10:35am On Oct 21, 2016 |
Muafrika2: This is really a sad story! Should married men allow their wives to go for Night vigils? Its not a YES or NO answer! There are a lot of other underlying questions? Why is the man not going for the same All Night Prayer? Why is the woman going? Where is the venue? Who are the Pastors? Are they Christ's or Wolves? Is a the place safe? Do you trust each other sexualy? Etc. The problem in many homes is that women have taken over from the men the role of spiritual head of the family. So, everything else is an aberration. When the hedge is broken, the serpent bite! The story above is indeed very very sad! 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by yetseyi(f): 12:20pm On Oct 21, 2016 |
Nice thread, Shadeyinka following |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 12:41pm On Oct 21, 2016 |
yetseyi: Thanks |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by Nobody: 6:01am On Oct 23, 2016 |
One of my many pastors told me that unmarried women living in their own house is one and the same thing with prostitution. I did not agree with him. I thought it was just him being the very traditional person he was. But people (and by people I mean men especially married men) actually believe that in my own observation. They believe its a house they can casually visit for their own adulterous purposes (though I must add, I live in a rural place where I've noted this belief is true.) But I advice such men to be careful. You may be bringing curses upon your own selves and families because you never know what know what kind of spirit is in a person. |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 7:07am On Oct 23, 2016 |
Muafrika2: Exactly! Just as HIV no dey show for face, Spiritual Sexually transmitted diseases don't show on the face. And worse, no condom in the world can prevent one contracting a spiritual STDs. However, A woman however can live alone and still be very very chaste! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by femzysticks(m): 2:57am On Nov 09, 2016 |
shadeyinka: good point about praying about parents acceptance. now if the parents are not born again and spirit filled.. and God has told you His plan for your life towards a life partner. after praying and they still don't approve of the relationship 'obey your parents in the Lord...' if your decision is the will of God for your life then I don't think its wrong to go ahead an get married you cannot miss purpose in life and destiny just because of parents (who do not know the will of God for your life) decision how about those parents who force their children to study medicine when God has destined the the child to be an artist... will that child live in his full capacity in a field not his own?? marriage is very spiritual we can't afford to miss God's plan for our life because of parents they won't be there in the house with us when we start facing marital challenges . . God will help us 1 Like |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by shadeyinka(m): 3:39am On Nov 09, 2016 |
femzysticks: I smiled a little on reading your post, because I saw the seriousness in your question and the sincerity behind it. As you said, Marriage is Spiritual: in fact, marriage is a serious spiritual contract. Now, the area I have problem with your post is the definition of "Gods will" for your life! What is Gods will for a person in marriage? That you marry a child of God! 1. If you ask me, any two "spirit filled" children of God can marry and have a beautiful marriage unless God says no to the marriage. 2. There is nothing like predestination or the doctrine of "bone of my bone created specially for me" in marriage. Whoever you makeba marriage commitment with is the bone of your bone QED! Now your point is that, what if 1. Your parents are unbelievers AND 2. They won't accept the person of your choice, should a christian go on with the wedding? The answer is NO! 1. The authority of parent over their child is independent of their godliness. Note that, Noah got so drunk that he exposed his unclothedness, how come Ham was cursed Gen 9:22-29 for viewing his fathers folly? 2. Honour your parents is without condition: Exo20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 3. Obey your parents in ALL things is the instruction: Col 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. This include everything as long as it doesn't violate Gods rule against sin. Now, the scripture Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Is a special class of Col3:20 (parent in the Lord) it doesn't violate Eph 6:1 So, then, what should Christian children do in a deadlock like this? 1. If God is indeed the one who says that this is your partner, wait for it, for it would surely come to pass because, God cannot lie and Satan cannot stop God. You don't need to force a prophecy to come to pass! 2. Repeat your request to your parent as long as they say no while you use the time to deepen your courtship (prepare for marriage) i.e. buy things, rent house, furnish it, buy clothes, and also do the non physical preparations. Prepare to wait for as long as they say no in Holiness (the bed undefiled). 3. Use the time of waiting to pray that God change their mind and also for your relationship. Never ever get married in rebellion for you have just set up yourself for satanic involvement in your marriage. Stay blessed. Note that, Your parent cannot force you to marry anyone, they can only delay your choice. If it is Gods will, as long as you don't derail, God will fulfill His part. Compare with David: Anointed King of Israel as a Youth BUT Would not use his hands to destroy Saul even when he could That is called Faith my Dear! |
Re: Strictly For Christians: Having Questions About Sex, Dating or Relationships? by femzysticks(m): 4:44am On Nov 09, 2016 |
shadeyinka: I had this same believe before my pastor and some other materials made me believe everyone has a predestined soul mate This is an assignment for me I guess Cus when a man is filled with the spirit of God and the word of God then he is led to say right... Other business: Can I get your contact details?? We could talk further |
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