@lifted.hands I'm not married but although I'm about to...I faced a situation worse than yours...I cried my soul out and prayed my heart out...

I was about to be abandoned with my pregnancy but just when I thought God travelled, He showed up...
I finally had my introduction on friday and my wedding is coming up this december...
My future hubby returned back to me lovingly..
I definitely know my battles are not over and I'm willing to stand...
If your life is not threatened, please don't give up...
No one can help save your marriage but God...hold on to him...

You posted this on another thread just two days ago, you were encouraging someone else too. You should also listen to your own words @emboldened.
I wish you well.

Maaamaaa:


Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.

So, if you don't call off the wedding, are you hoping he will do it for you? And if he doesn't, will you go through with it in December?

I see, just read the post before mine. You want tips and encouragement to win him back. Alright girl, best of luck to you.

Maaamaaa:


[size=23pt]He pays for his bills and provides money for his feeding... We share the expenses 50/50[/size]

You MUST marry him.

Sorry abt ur situation.
I Won't wnt to blame u, bt this is my advice/ little solution

Try to get some savings , nd start looking for another better job.

Save to get a new apartment , but for the main time still stay to get. D money.

Because stay wit him might cost u ur happiness and joy and u might not be able to concentrate on many important things.

Get a new and better job and apartment,

1, To start a new life and be more focus.

2, To give the right man that will love u the chance to meet and marry u.

Lastly, I want you to believe in urself , love urself and start ur life afresh

Be Wise, and learn frm ur mistake .

God will guide u.

The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to date a man or fall in love with a man that is already in a relationship whether far or near. Most men are deceitful, they will lie that they don't love her, she is far bla a bla at the end you will be the one to lose. My dear don't marry him. He will make ur life miserable and remember this is someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Don't go to your early grave cos of marriage.

Go back to your parents and confess the whole truth. They would guide and shield you from henceforth.

The guy has seen your all hence lack the motivation to carry on. There's some wisdom in never allowing a man see your unclothedness till he has shown commitment.

You both would lead a miserable life if forced to continue as man and woman.

To imagine I once made some crazy choices and decisions. such days of ignorance!

Onegai:


So, if you don't call off the wedding, are you hoping he will do it for you? And if he doesn't, will you go through with it in December?

I see, just read the post before mine. You want tips and encouragement to win him back. Alright girl, best of luck to you.

I love yiu
No homo

Chubhie:


To imagine I once made some crazy choices and decisions. such days of ignorance!

Why does it feel like I know you or do I say I wanna know you

*nodding head*

southernbelle:


You posted this on another thread just two days ago, you were encouraging someone else too. You should also listen to your own words @emboldened.
I wish you well.

Problem solved.

Dyt:

Why does it feel like I know you or do I say I wanna know you
*nodding head*

The feelings mutual. The "affairs" of yesternight's all wiped off as predicted?

Chubhie:

The feelings mutual. The "affairs" of yesternight's all wiped off as predicted?

Which of it is mutual?

Yes your predictions were on point
Don't you think we will make a good pair earning from predictions?

Mimzyy:
Excuse me ma, you guys want to obtain a loan to have your wedding?
Is that not a grave mistake?
What happens after the wedding when the multitudes that you have fed leave you to your fate?
What happens to the innocent unborn?
Any plans on getting your baby's stuffs? Shouldn't that be of topmost priority now?
Can't you pend the wedding?

Maaamaaa, please you guys need to set your priorities. How on earth is he even going to payback? It's going to put a further strain on the relationship when it's payback time and He's unable to make ends meet. As it is, it's already difficult to sustain you both. Well, the ball is in your court. We can only but proffer advice , it's up to you to make a final decision. All the best.

Very complicated story. I smh

He's living with her, chopping free punny, free food, free accommodation on top, he's flat broke and still treating her like sheit on top.

Women!

Maaamaaa:


Thank you because this is indeed the hard truth.

Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

Ishilove:

Very complicated story. I smh

My dear, i just weak for body...

Dyt:

Which of it is mutual?
Yes your predictions were on point Don't you think we will make a good pair earning from predictions?

Like I know you from past incarnation.

ElsonMorali:


Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

I'm just imaging what would be the man's reactions if he suddenly realises that his case has been tabled and been judged secretly by total strangers who perhaps fail to understand him.

Chubhie:

Like I know you from past incarnation.

Now I believe that story of birthing twice
I think I remember you well enough

Ishilove:

Very complicated story. I smh

He's living with her, chopping free punny, free food, free accommodation on top, he's flat broke and still treating her like sheit on top.

Women!

She actually moved in with him, she ditched her own apartment and used the money meant for her own rent to pay for his. Things we do for love. yeah, but in this case, the guy in the picture doesn't give 2fcuk 'bout her hence her predicament. Different strokes for different folks o jare. I tire.

Maaamaaa:


Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.

He is going to choose to marry you so as not to bring shame to you or your parents. He has said so already. This man is not marrying you for love but because he feels trapped and obligated. And you still want to go ahead cos "u dont want him to use it against u to your parents"? Cos you dont want them to say it was you that broke off the engagement?

Is it when you are pregnant for the second, nay, third child and he comes home drunk every night with a used condom dangling forgotten on his manhood and he attacks you and the kids out of sheer frustration that your eyes will clear??


Ladies of empowerment in this section. I leave this matter to you.
*walks out of thread.

I still don't understand why people re asking u to leave the guy asap. I say no to that.I simply see colleagues who re dating and and the lady happen to get pregnant. The guy did d honourable thing by accepting to marry her and move further to meet both parents.

Do u think its easy to walk up to both parents as a guy to say u want to marry a lady? You will be drilled and for the guy to still stand his ground means he is not marrying out of pity rather a calculated decision.

Maaamaa, it could be his financial state and unpreparedness that is working him up and not love as u guys posit. Asking u to do abortion is a suggestion even married couples make when finance is not stable. Pls don't leave the guy at ur state now because it won't be easy for you, unless u want to come to Nairaland tomorrow and be asking for contributions for baby food and things.

You guys should go ahead and do ur formal introduction and leave it at that, pending when u deliver ur baby. Love could be cultivated by ur good manners and support for each other.

The guy is not a bad guy from my assumptions and u sound naive to me, pls involve ur sibling and trusted friends before heeding to any online suggestions.

Ishilove:

Very complicated story. I smh

He's living with her, chopping free punny, free food, free accommodation on top, he's flat broke and still treating her like sheit on top.

Women!

Dem be Ishiazu.

Hope I spelt it right.

Dyt:


Now I believe that story of birthing twice I think I remember you well enough

You are a free spirit milady. Namaste.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Madam, the shame will not kill you.

Oh, they are going to talk about you behind you and point fingers at you everywhere you go. Not just your work place. So start developing a thick skin right now.

But here's the truth, after a while, people will get tired of your matter and look for some other juicy things, latest scandal to gossip about.

If you have good friends, let them help you at this point and accept their support with gratitude.

If you don't have, Well, find strength within yourself and get closer to God.

This is not the end the of your life if you make an effort everyday to be happy.

We all make bad choices once in a while. Nobody is immune.

Be sorry for your mistakes but dont dwell on the shame too much. Move on and be strong.

Ishilove:

Very complicated story. I smh

He's living with her, chopping free punny, free food, free accommodation on top, he's flat broke and still treating her like sheit on top.

Women!

Where did you get this one from?

This girl MUST marry that guy, enough of single girls raising children alone.

Onegai:


So, if you don't call off the wedding, are you hoping he will do it for you? And if he doesn't, will you go through with it in December?

I see, just read the post before mine. You want tips and encouragement to win him back. Alright girl, best of luck to you.

So right. . never thought about the bolded..

Chubhie:

You are a free spirit milady. Namaste.

Namaste

masam:
I still don't understand why people re asking u to leave the guy asap. I say no to that.I simply see colleagues who re dating and and the lady happen to get pregnant. The guy did d honourable thing by accepting to marry her and move further to meet both parents.

Do u think its easy to walk up to both parents as a guy to say u want to marry a lady? You will be drilled and for the guy to still stand his ground means he is not marrying out of pity rather a calculated decision.

Maaamaa, it could be his financial state and unpreparedness that is working him up and not love as u guys posit. Asking u to do abortion is a suggestion even married couples make when finance is not stable. Pls don't leave the guy at ur state now because it won't be easy for you, unless u want to come to Nairaland tomorrow and be asking for contributions for baby food and things.

You guys should go ahead and do ur formal introduction and leave it at that, pending when u deliver ur baby. Love could be cultivated by ur good manners and support for each other.

The guy is not a bad guy from my assumptions and u sound naive to me, pls involve ur sibling and trusted friends before heeding to any online suggestions.

Onegai
This is one of those things she wanna read
Encouragement is all she needs

Who are we to know better

Chubhie:

I'm just imaging what would be the man's reactions if he suddenly realises that his case has been tabled and been judged secretly by total strangers who perhaps fail to understand him.

Whatever his reactions are, there is no honor in cheating on your significant other.

Whoever he is and whatever his situation in life is, it is dishonorable to put a woman in a family way and then start blaming her for getting pregnant.

A man shoulders his responsibility regardless.

Reminds me of an advice my dad gave me and my brother. He said "the meat you know you won't eat, you should not sniff at it"

My concern is for the woman who is carrying a human being within her.

Her physical and mental health is way more important than the feelings of the man whose only responsibility so far is as a sperm donor.

masam:
I still don't understand why people re asking u to leave the guy asap. I say no to that.I simply see colleagues who re dating and and the lady happen to get pregnant. The guy did d honourable thing by accepting to marry her and move further to meet both parents.

Do u think its easy to walk up to both parents as a guy to say u want to marry a lady? You will be drilled and for the guy to still stand his ground means he is not marrying out of pity rather a calculated decision.

Maaamaa, it could be his financial state and unpreparedness that is working him up and not love as u guys posit. Asking u to do abortion is a suggestion even married couples make when finance is not stable. Pls don't leave the guy at ur state now because it won't be easy for you, unless u want to come to Nairaland tomorrow and be asking for contributions for baby food and things.

You guys should go ahead and do ur formal introduction and leave it at that, pending when u deliver ur baby. Love could be cultivated by ur good manners and support for each other.

The guy is not a bad guy from my assumptions and u sound naive to me, pls involve ur sibling and trusted friends before heeding to any online suggestions.

You're leaving out the part where she says the guy hates and despises her. Even without the pregnancy she shouldn't be advised to continue.

Guy is only marrying her because of the pregnancy. When she gives birth what do you think is going to happen?

Broken engagement is better than a broken marriage

ElsonMorali:


Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs

ElsonMorali:


Whatever his reactions are, there is no honor in cheating on your significant other.

Whoever he is and whatever his situation in life is, it is dishonorable to put a woman in a family way and then start blaming her for getting pregnant.

A man shoulders his responsibility regardless.

Reminds me of an advice my dad gave me and my brother. He said "the meat you know you won't eat, you should not sniff at it"

My concern is for the woman who is carrying a human being within her.

Her physical and mental health is way more important than the feelings of the man whose only responsibility so far is as a sperm donor.

The issue of honor and responsibility should never be mentioned one mile radius of those two adults cos they both acted in dishonorable and irresponsible manner.

I'm not attempting to hold brief for the guy but an infatuated woman can move mountains to lure her man into lockdown.

I bet this wasn't how the youngman proposed to live his life until the babe crossed paths,moved in and sins of the flesh took root. The guy could only be in it just for the fun and not an entire lifelong deal.

The lady wanted marriage probably from the get go.

My dad advised that if one wants to eat frog,one should go for ones with fat so that when you are called frog eater, you boldly shoulder responsibility.

Maaamaaa:


I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs

It's okei