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A Frustrated Woman - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: A Frustrated Woman by shrekandfiona: 4:07pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I just talked to him about waiting till I give birth but he said it's now or never. That he has made up his mind about the marriage whether there's love or not.

The love is not very strong now but it will grow.

He said the loan is making him think too...
Jeez shocked are you that naive?

Please for the sake of that innocent seed growing in you, Don't do it. Be firm.

I forsee violence if you get married now. Anyway what do I know... sighs
Re: A Frustrated Woman by crackhaus: 4:13pm On Oct 25, 2016
Oh how I love to love love.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Acidosis(m): 4:22pm On Oct 25, 2016
sad sad
Re: A Frustrated Woman by MzDeeb(f): 4:23pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I just talked to him about waiting till I give birth but he said it's now or never. That he has made up his mind about the marriage whether there's love or not.

The love is not very strong now but it will grow.

He said the loan is making him think too...


Jeez... I pray you don't regret taking this sep. I am sure you still do not know the in depth meaning of LOVE...

WTF! Babes, this guy doesn't love you..Esp with him saying its now or never..Imagine that statement..

If you don't know, what that statement means is that--- If you dare change your mind now..I can never get married to you again.

A true man that loves you will want to get married to you over and over again.Infact haven't you heard of some couples saying they wish they can get married to their spouse in the next world if possible. Now thats cos they love themselves and can't do without each other.

Babe, that is how its supposed to be dear...A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage.

Be matured for once. You are not too young to make a lifetime decision dearie.. You should be able to have a mind of your own.

I pray God helps you and give you wisdom concerning this issue.

NB: this is what happens when all a girl even thinks of in this life is get married and give birth ...Cos if you really knew what you want in life, if you had a goal in life..You would know this step you are about taking is the wrongest step ever.

6 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 4:40pm On Oct 25, 2016
crackhaus:

Where did you get this one from?

This girl MUST marry that guy, enough of single girls raising children alone.
And I bet you will be on ground to comfort her when she is weeping?

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by crackhaus: 4:42pm On Oct 25, 2016
Ishilove:

And I bet you will be on ground to comfort her when she is weeping?
And I also bet you will be on ground to provide alternate accommodation for her once she decides to leave the guy?

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by 4nobody4every1: 4:50pm On Oct 25, 2016
Advise is what we seek when we already know what we want to do, despite all the counsels from married and experienced people to these young woman, she is bent on going ahead and allow this guy to play with her emotions, future, feelings etc. l dont have any advise for her, let her carry her cross alone to Golgotha, she will learn in a hard way, next...... sad

10 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 4:51pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Thank you all for your words.

I don't want to call off the engagement because he says I don't understand his personality, he is not romantic and I want a fairy-tale romance and he can't do that.

My mother says my pregnancy hormone is making me overreact.

My dad says out state of finance is affecting us.

His parents say I should tolerate him.

I still do love him and I can't explain why, He is not a bad person but I feel he does not love me. I do not want to anyone to get married to me out of pity and that's why I was asking for a solution.

He assist with the chores at home and bills. He does not keep late nights and he is always at home with me but he just wants to be alone always and I feel like he is irritated by me.

He says I demand too much attention from him.

I actually want to plan the wedding together but he is like he does not care and I should do the planning while he will look for the money...

He is 32years and I'm 23years.
Okay. I wish you the best

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 4:52pm On Oct 25, 2016
crackhaus:

And I also bet you will be on ground to provide alternate accommodation for her once she decides to leave the guy?
Hello, news flash. The guy is the one living with her, not the other way round!

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 4:54pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I have decided not to call it off myself but focus on me and my baby.

If by the end of this rent we've not sorted ourselves out, I'll move out and close this chapter forever.

And also work on my finances.

Thank you so much, chatting with you all made me stronger...

I'll definitely post pictures of my cute princess by may 2017.(i hope it's a girl)
Best of luck, aunty.

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Bolade005: 4:55pm On Oct 25, 2016
If only you can be patient, things will get better between you two but before then, don't push or coerce him into anything.

Take him off your mind and start living life again. Give it time, time reveals.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by kathy22(f): 5:08pm On Oct 25, 2016
Na WA ooo, maamaa, you are just 23, and u are already sounding like a 38 year old desperate woman. From all I have read it shows this guy is not responsible financially at all towards you and when a lady starts taking care of a man at her young age and marries that same man, that is what she will do till the end of her life with him. Am talking from experiences around me.
He is even threatening you with marriag,he is 9 years older than you and still depends on you, he doesn't care about you now that you feed, accommodate and at the same time pregnant for you? Think twice u still have long years ahead af you

6 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by crackhaus: 6:10pm On Oct 25, 2016
Ishilove:

Hello, news flash. The guy is the one living with her, not the other way round!
Oh for real? shocked

I honestly didn't read where she said this, it's possible you and I are reading two very different stories.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by montezz(f): 6:40pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Thank you all for your words.

I don't want to call off the engagement because he says I don't understand his personality, he is not romantic and I want a fairy-tale romance and he can't do that.

My mother says my pregnancy hormone is making me overreact.

My dad says out state of finance is affecting us.

His parents say I should tolerate him.

I still do love him and I can't explain why, He is not a bad person but I feel he does not love me. I do not want to anyone to get married to me out of pity and that's why I was asking for a solution.

He assist with the chores at home and bills. He does not keep late nights and he is always at home with me but he just wants to be alone always and I feel like he is irritated by me.

He says I demand too much attention from him.

I actually want to plan the wedding together but he is like he does not care and I should do the planning while he will look for the money...

He is 32years and I'm 23years.
*Nods* now I get it.
Happy married life!

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by montezz(f): 6:44pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
He said he loves me somehow and that I'm a wife material but I'm demanding so much attention.

He said I talk a lot and he does not like talking (gisting) that he likes being alone.

He said he does not care about the pregnancy because he does not know anything about it and he feels since women do it almost everyday, it's not so difficult.

He said I cry a lot and crying irritates him.


I still don't understand all these and I feel so sad and unhappy.
Smh. Aja to ba ma sonu KO ni duro gbo fere olode.

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by Dexema(m): 7:00pm On Oct 25, 2016
ifyalways:

Well, you can plead with him to move out seeing as you now disgust him. If he ever loved you and is humane enough, he should do that atleast for you but if he refuses, tough luck, try to co-exist as a room mate with him and please NEVER give him the cookie jar again.

Hahaha! And you believe that will happen? She better just sublet the place and get another accommodation, since the dude wants to get rid of her he should agree to it. Honestly I don't see them staying together for a year and it ain't gonna happen.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 7:07pm On Oct 25, 2016
crackhaus:

Oh for real? shocked

I honestly didn't read where she said this, it's possible you and I are reading two very different stories.
Stranger things have happened on Nairaland grin

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by jake2much(m): 7:13pm On Oct 25, 2016
Ishilove:

Stranger things have happened on Nairaland grin
my sweetie how u
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Dyt(f): 7:43pm On Oct 25, 2016
Ishilove:

Okay. I wish you the best

Ishilove:

Best of luck, aunty.


cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ishilove: 7:47pm On Oct 25, 2016
Dyt:





cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Abi na? I cannot carry anybody's matter on my head o. She has made her decision and it is her alone that will face the music, whether good or bad.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Atk1nson(m): 7:55pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
He said he loves me somehow and that I'm a wife material but I'm demanding so much attention.

He said I talk a lot and he does not like talking (gisting) that he likes being alone.

He said he does not care about the pregnancy because he does not know anything about it and he feels since women do it almost everyday, it's not so difficult.

He said I cry a lot and crying irritates him.


I still don't understand all these and I feel so sad and unhappy.

He is probably stressed. As a man, primary responsibility of taking care of d family rest on his shoulders. In d current economic environment, he is probably just using his frustration on you. All he may need is for you to let him know you understand his fears and you'll work with him to make it work. However, let him also know that if he is truly not comfortable with the relationship, he can call it off and you guys go your separate ways. Don't let him have d impression that he is doing u a favour
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Mimzyy(f): 7:58pm On Oct 25, 2016
It's not you that I actually pity, it's the innocent one on the way. I wish u well. Ori Okere koko lawo...
Re: A Frustrated Woman by idu1(m): 8:07pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:


I did not ask him out and I did not try to make him jealous, I decided to make other friends so I will not be attached to him so much.

We moved in together because he did not have money for his rent.
you are still defending yourself abi?


Let me keep my advise then.



































Infact I no get anything to say sef




U be desperado na em kill u.

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by WORLDPEACE(m): 8:54pm On Oct 25, 2016
Ishilove:

Hello, news flash. The guy is the one living with her, not the other way round!
If they are sharing the rent 50/50 they are both living with each other.

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by WORLDPEACE(m): 9:03pm On Oct 25, 2016
kathy22:
Na WA ooo, maamaa, you are just 23, and u are already sounding like a 38 year old desperate woman. From all I have read it shows this guy is not responsible financially at all towards you and when a lady starts taking care of a man at her young age and marries that same man, that is what she will do till the end of her life with him. Am talking from experiences around me.
He is even threatening you with marriag,he is 9 years older than you and still depends on you, he doesn't care about you now that you feed, accommodate and at the same time pregnant for you? Think twice u still have long years ahead af you
Most ladies who are pregnant out of wedlock are desperate. It has little to do with age. She is a giving person by nature, not a fool. And somehow despite all the pages of the thread you have gone through to this point you have chosen to believe she feeds and accommodates him despite her saying otherwise. That's how people who don't like giving always interpret things. You people should not change a loving person to a bitter unloving one.

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by MrPresident1: 9:57pm On Oct 25, 2016
The lawful captives of the mighty are redeemed, saith the LORD.

Isaiah 49:24-25
24 Shall the prey be taken from the mighty, or the lawful captive delivered?
25 But thus saith the Lord, Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by kogi2010: 10:15pm On Oct 25, 2016
I hail una ooooo for dis kind hard time na em una gada shout?

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by cuteralph101(m): 10:18pm On Oct 25, 2016
Dyt:

Seal7 said

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
I never knew ignorance cud be sincere.. undecided
Re: A Frustrated Woman by rickyrex(m): 10:19pm On Oct 25, 2016
Direct your problem to BRING BACK OUR GIRL GROUP
Re: A Frustrated Woman by PARAHH(f): 10:23pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:


I'm at uyo.

Thank you so much
my sister.., please please please I'm begging U you don't go through with the wedding... damn that shame at work, go to work wearing the best smile you've got they'll talk but act like you don't care let that man see the Independent you... care for yourself like only toand the baby matter yes tongue will wag just stand strong
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Nobody: 10:25pm On Oct 25, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.
Please don't let anyone put you down. You were sincere, even though you may have made a mistake. But u were sincere and that's the most important thing. Please hold your head up and feel okay. You may not marry him in the end, but let that be your decision. Don't let that be what majority of know-nothing girls here are rushing to say.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Coolspot(m): 10:27pm On Oct 25, 2016
Straight to my point>>>>>>
This young man told you he was dating yet still went ahead and " f*ck cajoled" him to date you, and @ same time sabotaging another girl's relationship.... Karma has turned to your neighbor!
If you ended up marrying that guy you will regret your entire married life.

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