Please I need urgent, but wise and matured advice from men and women whether married or not.
I am a 31 year old, handsome, intelligent, hardworking highly connected and popular man, due to my profession.
I am also a good Christian who has a strong personal relationship with God, in fact a Prophet of God in the making. I am due for marriage, not only am I convinced it's time for that but even people have been disturbing me it's time to get off the bachelors list and settle down to raise a God fearing and happy family. So after praying seriously about this next major step, God answered my prayers and I met a beautiful 28 year old hard working lady in the line of duty. I got her contacts (she was reluctant to give me at first but I was very persuasive, I learnt from her colleagues that she never gives her digits to men), text and call her every single day. At first She never replied my texts and she rarely picks my calls until much later after we met. I met her early May and I told her about my genuine intentions on her birthday, which was 2 weeks after we met, I gave her a modest birthday gift too. She listened to all I had to say, smiling and laughing when I said I want her to be my wife and I was led by God to her.
It took more than 2 months for her to have a long conversation with me on phone as she always turns down any eat outs or dates. I understand the nature of her job though but she is an extremely private and cautious lady.
I had a major breakthrough in knowing her house in September (I had to tail her official car dropping her off at a junction close to her street so I parked beside her to pick her up and she took some convincing before agreeing). Since then I've been to her house just 3 times and each time I go with fruits and gifts. She offers me water or drinks and then we basically just talk about me cos she never shares anything about herself, all she does is to ask me about my age, religious background, past, plans and all that. The last time I went there she didn't want me to come but I went anyway, she was not at home but I sent a text that I'm waiting for her, she came later that night and I took time to explain once again my intentions and plans for marriage and raising a family. She listened attentively and said she has heard all I have said then told me not to buy her gifts every time I come but instead once in a while.
So I sent her a very deep text on October 18 about how much I love her and would want to have her as my wife and since then I stopped calling or texts or pinging. A week after she called me to say its been a while she heard from me and I told her I'm not feeling fine, she just said "okay we will talk later then" and she cut the call.
Now to the crux, i'm convinced this woman is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with but I don't even know much about her, I love her so much, but my female friends who are now married and a Pastor told me to leave her and stop communicating with her for a while, which I have started already, their argument is that, if she wants me and has been pretending since, she will come around and show me she is ready too. Mind you this is not the first time I would stop communicating with her for like 2 or 3 weeks, I've done this thrice, and whenever I do so, she will call at least once. Should I wait for her to come around? It's been 5 months of chasing her. Should I continue to keep my distance while praying for both of us? Please I need urgent but matured advice.

Are you sure you heard from God?

@kinibigdeal, Yes I am sure. More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her as I didn't just want to rely on what I heard or saw or even feel alone. In fact, our meeting was prophesied and I was warned about how tough she would be because of her past experiences with men. She even told me she doesn't trust anyone.
Recently when I fast and prayed about her again, I saw her in my dreams for the first time asking me why I have stopped calling her and that she is ready and we should go see her parents. In the dream she came with her best friend and the friend was begging me not to break her heart cos that's the fear they've been nursing. I woke up and prayed again but as it is, it's a bit tiring waiting for 5 months.

I just don't understand what's wrong with ladies nowadays. Why do they foot drag when what they've been praying and fasting for eventually strolls in without hassle? Why make a guy so the chasing for 5 freaking and tiring months? I'm tired of these specie. @loveprotocol, sorry for my rants, but I think you should reevaluate all the options and directives and do what God tells you to do. It's not easy marrying right. Wish you the best.

Op the lady is not interested.. Simple... No need wasting time and emotions on her.. She sees u as a joker.. Let her be and concentrate more on the church and other things... In time, things will fall. In place.... They always fall in place at the right time.. Then u will know for sure, if she's the one or not.. Just relax.

Amelian:
Op the lady is not interested.. Simple... No need wasting time and emotions on her.. She sees u as a joker.. Let her be and concentrate more on the church and other things... In time, things will fall. In place.... They always fall in place at the right time.. Then u will know for sure, if she's the one or not.. Just relax.

Well, If you're saying I should relax then you're simply saying while I concentrate on other things, I should still wait for her to come around instead of looking or praying for another lady to marry?

Sir you need to go back to the drawing board. Things should not be one sided like this.This is not playing hard to get this sounds just difficult. Focus your attentions on someone who wants to be with you. Don't let this become an obsession. Relationships should not be mission impossibles.

Raina80:
Sir you need to go back to the drawing board. Things should not be one sided like this.This is not playing hard to get this sounds just difficult. Focus your attentions on someone who wants to be with you. Don't let this become an obsession. Relationships should not be mission impossibles.

Thanks for this, I appreciate you. Exactly my thoughts. I don't want to come across as desperate or obsessed man. I guess the attention at first got into her head and she felt "well, he is convinced I'm the one, so let me just enjoy the chase since he has nowhere else to go". Unfortunately, I'm deeply in love with her. I've not contacted her sine October 18 now but even that is tough for me even though I must confess, i'm also tired of the care free attitude she's putting up. Maybe I said too much ab initio

Since you are a Christian, I'll attempt to look at this from a faith and revelatory perspective.

1. Are you really sure that she is the one? There was a pastor that pressured a woman into marrying him even when she initially wasn't interested in the union. All because a well-known prophet (of blessed memory) and another prophet 'confirmed' that the said woman was the one. The said pastor died this year. He quit ministry out of frustration by the woman that was 'prophesied' for him.

2. Never force anyone into marriage with you even if it was GOD'S will. Never! You may find it difficult to understand this now.

3. GOD can change HIS mind about a person when the person in question falls from GOD'S original plan. Something could go wrong between the time of initial approval and the actual event. Be sensitive to changes.

4. You seem to have been taken over by emotion on this issue.

5. You also are pushing to marry largely because everyone wants you to. This could blur your ability to sense danger.

6. Are there other options other than this lady?

7. That she is acting difficult does not automatically mean that she is the 'one' for you. This is a general flawed assumption. You are hanging on simply because she isn't giving in easily.

8. Dreams sometimes are slaves to one's momentary feelings.

Loveprotocol:


Thanks for this, I appreciate you. Exactly my thoughts. I don't want to come across as desperate or obsessed man. I guess the attention at first got into her head and she felt "well, he is convinced I'm the one, so let me just enjoy the chase since he has nowhere else to go". Unfortunately, I'm deeply in love with her. I've not contacted her sine October 18 now but even that is tough for me even though I must confess, i'm also tired of the care free attitude she's putting up. Maybe I said too much ab initio

Love should not be hard work, you have been working very hard. Focus on your ministries you can't make someone fall in love with you. If this is really the one for you it will be. God does not make mistakes but sometimes we misunderstand what he says to us.

Then, if you are so sure of your own personal vision and some prophesies, you have to be patient. She might be testing your perseverance, studying on whether you may be discourage about her actions. Trust me, she's talking about you with her friends but trying to understand your seriousness so that she wont get hurt like in time past. All you need to do is to keep being nice to her, keep calling her, dont be too desperate to have her cuz that might get her to conclude on whether you are just those random guys that just want to have sex with her and run. Keep praying till she succumb and please based on your christian background, never demand from sex from her, that may ruin the whole thing because she still have her past in her memories

Loveprotocol:
@kinibigdeal, Yes I am sure. More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her as I didn't just want to rely on what I heard or saw or even feel alone. In fact, our meeting was prophesied and I was warned about how tough she would be because of her past experiences with men. She even told me she doesn't trust anyone.
Recently when I fast and prayed about her again, I saw her in my dreams for the first time asking me why I have stopped calling her and that she is ready and we should go see her parents. In the dream she came with her best friend and the friend was begging me not to break her heart cos that's the fear they've been nursing. I woke up and prayed again but as it is, it's a bit tiring waiting for 5 months.

mastermaestro:

Is this all you could come up with as advice? SMH. @op, please hold on to the things you've heard and seen. Never kill the love in your heart, so that when she comes around you won't struggle to be the man that chased her. And if she's not the one, someone else better than her will appreciate you for who you are. You come across as a great and good man. How I wish I had a sister, I would have hooked you up, maybe @Raina80 could help.

doveweed:

Is this all you could come up with as advice? SMH. @op, please hold on to the things you've heard and seen. Never kill the love in your heart, so that when she comes around you won't struggle to be the man that chased her. And if she's not the one, someone else better than her will appreciate you for who you are. You come across as a great and good man. How I wish I had a sister, I would have hooked you up, maybe @Raina80 could help.

I have 5 brothers and no sisters at all.

doveweed:

Is this all you could come up with as advice? SMH. @op, please hold on to the things you've heard and seen. Never kill the love in your heart, so that when she comes around you won't struggle to be the man that chased her. And if she's not the one, someone else better than her will appreciate you for who you are. You come across as a great and good man. How I wish I had a sister, I would have hooked you up, maybe @Raina80 could help.

Hmmm, 2 me dere is no person in particular dats kept 4 u 4 marriage. Just pray to meet d right person. I guess she's an introvert, but d truth is dat u wont achieve anything by keeping ur distance, since u love and want her as ur wife.

Try talking to her again, dis time around make sure she speak out. Tell her u want to know her stand so u will know if to move on or nt, 4rm dere u will know what next... When she was asking u...,u would ve asked her in return 2. Dont always wait 4 her to talk, ask her and b persistent...

Chat more with her, Dan calling, some ppl re free to express dere self while chatting dan when u meet face to face until d closeness is establish. Den she will now b totally free... U need to b fun to chat/be with, tease her and all dat, b open and free. Don't b 2 serious minded or churchy if u re with her, u can play game at d same time gist.

U need to take d bold step and create a cordial relationship first, nothing gd comes easily. I just hope she's worth it at d end. She likes u tho, maybe just being careful I wish u all d best.

Oga, you shouldn't have brought marriage proposal to the table immediately, you should have observed her and know the right strategy to woo her.
solution
no mind the babe na shakara she dey do, change ur strategy, know all u need to know about her, have humor, don't remind her of your real intention, use your head, have faith, if she is attracted to you she will fall.
NB: Don't allow your emotions to supersede your intelligence. k

Oga, you shouldn't have brought marriage proposal to the table immediately, you should have observed her and know the right strategy to woo her.
solution
no mind the babe na shakara she dey do, change ur strategy, know all u need to know about her, have humor, don't remind her of your real intention, use your head, have faith, if she is attracted to you she will fall.
NB: Don't allow your emotions to supersede your intelligence.

You don't know anything about her? yet you love her? So what exactly do you love? She's not into you, if you tell a woman you are sick and her reply is simpley ok, not I'm coming to check on you, then she's not caring. Look for a Younger woman. A 28 year old woman is already set in her ways and will not change for anyone. Look elsewhere. There is more to loving someone than their looks or you are attracted to the fact she's got a good job.

Loveprotocol:
@kinibigdeal, Yes I am sure. More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her as I didn't just want to rely on what I heard or saw or even feel alone. In fact, our meeting was prophesied and I was warned about how tough she would be because of her past experiences with men. She even told me she doesn't trust anyone.
Recently when I fast and prayed about her again, I saw her in my dreams for the first time asking me why I have stopped calling her and that she is ready and we should go see her parents. In the dream she came with her best friend and the friend was begging me not to break her heart cos that's the fear they've been nursing. I woke up and prayed again but as it is, it's a bit tiring waiting for 5 months.

My guy you need to change the why you live your life. Not everything in life is spiritual. Basing all your decision on prophets will lead you astray one day. Give another girl a chance, you might find happiness.

I wonder the kind of pastor you are yet you are visiting prophets; You think its only you and your prophets that can hear from God abi? If you are her own, God will speak to her also because the BIBLE tells us GOD isnt an author of confusion.

He cannot speak with you and your candle burning/broom flogging woli's and not speak with her.
If i was her, i would flee from you sef.
You stalked her (trailing her from work)
She told you not to visit yet you came anyway and texted to inform you (you dont listen to her)
She doesnt like you visiting but you carry your hungry self anyway
All i see is a gold digging dude who has seen a working class babe, approaching her 30's and is flinging the word marriage/prophet/pastor all in a bid to lord over someone's pikin....abeg

doveweed:
I just don't understand what's wrong with ladies nowadays. Why do they foot drag when what they've been praying and fasting for eventually strolls in without hassle? Why make a guy so the chasing for 5 freaking and tiring months? I'm tired of these specie. @loveprotocol, sorry for my rants, but I think you should reevaluate all the options and directives and do what God tells you to do. It's not easy marrying right. Wish you the best.

Do you ever consider maybe he's not her choice? Or maybe she think she can do better? Or simply maybe they are not on the same level relationship wise

mastermaestro:
Since you are a Christian, I'll attempt to look at this from a faith and revelatory perspective.

1. Are you really sure that she is the one? There was a pastor that pressured a woman into marrying him even when she initially wasn't interested in the union. All because a well-known prophet (of blessed memory) and another prophet 'confirmed' that the said woman was the one. The said pastor died this year. He quit ministry out of frustration by the woman that was 'prophesied' for him.

2. Never force anyone into marriage with you even if it was GOD'S will. Never! You may find it difficult to understand this now.

3. GOD can change HIS mind about a person when the person in question falls from GOD'S original plan. Something could go wrong between the time of initial approval and the actual event. Be sensitive to changes.

4. You seem to have been taken over by emotion on this issue.

5. You also are pushing to marry largely because everyone wants you to. This could blur your ability to sense danger.

6. Are there other options other than this lady?

7. That she is acting difficult does not automatically mean that she is the 'one' for you. This is a general flawed assumption. You are hanging on simply because she isn't giving in easily.

8. Dreams sometimes are slaves to one's momentary feelings.

Well I am not contemplating marriage because others are telling me to, I know I am ripe for it. As for my emotions spilling over to my dream life, I disagree, cos one of the greatest gifts I have is seeing visions, dreams and their interpretation. But I agree I have shown too much affection. I am hanging on because I am in love with her and can't stop thinking about her, it's weird when you just can't describe how you feel about someone when you barely even know them but it's as if you've known them all your life.

some guys sef. Isn't it obvious she doesn't want anything 2do with you? She's 28! She's not playing any "hard-to-get' dumb games with you. She just doesn't want you. Stick that to your brain and back off. You tend to irritate her more by bn desperate!

Pls tell him o.

dapsonlou:


Do you ever consider maybe he's not her choice? Or maybe she think she can do better? Or simply maybe they are not on the same level relationship wise

keepingmum:
I wonder the kind of pastor you are yet you are visiting prophets; You think its only you and your prophets that can hear from God abi? If you are her own, God will speak to her also because the BIBLE tells us GOD isnt an author of confusion.

He cannot speak with you and your candle burning/broom flogging woli's and not speak with her.
If i was her, i would flee from you sef.
You stalked her (trailing her from work)
She told you not to visit yet you came anyway and texted to inform you (you dont listen to her)
She doesnt like you visiting but you carry your hungry self anyway
All i see is a gold digging dude who has seen a working class babe, approaching her 30's and is flinging the word marriage/prophet/pastor all in a bid to lord over someone's pikin....abeg

Hold it there please, no insults based on wrong assumptions. Maybe you're a novice when it comes to matters of the Prophets. I am not talking about false prophets or white garment ones. Maybe you don't know that there's always a spiritual father to every Prophet/Pastor? Even the likes of Baba Adeboye and Oyedepo submit to a higher anointing and pay tithe to another ministry.
Who told you I am hungry? Who told you she is better than me financially? As young as I am, I've used not less than 8 cars, all gotten from legitimate sources. At some point I was into farming business before I closed my farm to pursue a career in Broadcast Journalism where I've met and interviewed the who is who in this country. In fact I feel she is scared of my popularity and public exposure at first. I can't just reveal my real identity because of trying to prove a point to you. All the same, thanks for dropping in but never jump into conclusions next time

Bmanchi:
Oga, you shouldn't have brought marriage proposal to the table immediately, you should have observed her and know the right strategy to woo her.
solution
no mind the babe na shakara she dey do, change ur strategy, know all u need to know about her, have humor, don't remind her of your real intention, use your head, have faith, if she is attracted to you she will fall.
NB: Don't allow your emotions to supersede your intelligence.

Yes I agree I shouldn't have started with marriage issue. But I stopped talking about it afterwards until I wanted to draw a commitment from her before giving her the silent treatment ongoing. Would it be wise to go ahead with the silent treatment?

njiasi30:
Hmmm, 2 me dere is no person in particular dats kept 4 u 4 marriage. Just pray to meet d right person. I guess she's an introvert, but d truth is dat u wont achieve anything by keeping ur distance, since u love and want her as ur wife.

Try talking to her again, dis time around make sure she speak out. Tell her u want to know her stand so u will know if to move on or nt, 4rm dere u will know what next... When she was asking u...,u would ve asked her in return 2. Dont always wait 4 her to talk, ask her and b persistent...

Chat more with her, Dan calling, some ppl re free to express dere self while chatting dan when u meet face to face until d closeness is establish. Den she will now b totally free... U need to b fun to chat/be with, tease her and all dat, b open and free. Don't b 2 serious minded or churchy if u re with her, u can play game at d same time gist.

U need to take d bold step and create a cordial relationship first, nothing gd comes easily. I just hope she's worth it at d end. She likes u tho, maybe just being careful I wish u all d best.

Unfortunately this lady is not one who likes chatting or talking on the phone. I've seen her ignore calls even from her parents and she may not call back just because she doesn't feel like it at that moment.
As for asking her about her life and past, she just said she would tell me later. She makes it look like she's interviewing me and carrying out a research about me to evaluate her options. Her colleague once told me she likes me but she's just scared though

kinibigdeal:
Then, if you are so sure of your own personal vision and some prophesies, you have to be patient. She might be testing your perseverance, studying on whether you may be discourage about her actions. Trust me, she's talking about you with her friends but trying to understand your seriousness so that she wont get hurt like in time past. All you need to do is to keep being nice to her, keep calling her, dont be too desperate to have her cuz that might get her to conclude on whether you are just those random guys that just want to have sex with her and run. Keep praying till she succumb and please based on your christian background, never demand from sex from her, that may ruin the whole thing because she still have her past in her memories

I can never have sex before marriage again. Trust me, I've had enough sex to last me till age 60. That's even if I have sex 3 times a week.

seizethaBae:
some guys sef. Isn't it obvious she doesn't want anything 2do with you? She's 28! She's not playing any "hard-to-get' dumb games with you. She just doesn't want you. Stick that to your brain and back off. You tend to irritate her more by bn desperate!

Have you ever been heartbroken by a man that professed love, promised heaven and earth to you and then you trust him with your life and money, only for him to ditch you at the last minute when wedding plans were in slow gear? How fast will you heal? Will the next man that comes calling not suffer in your hands?

A lady doesnt have to be heartbroken or have suffered heartbreak to reject a dude. Why dont you get that she is probably not into you?
Just like you look for qualities in a lady so also does she. She has her own standards and criteria and its likely you dont measure up.

Loveprotocol:


Well I am not contemplating marriage because others are telling me to, I know I am ripe for it. As for my emotions spilling over to my dream life, I disagree, cos one of the greatest gifts I have is seeing visions, dreams and their interpretation. But I agree I have shown too much affection. I am hanging on because I am in love with her and can't stop thinking about her, it's weird when you just can't describe how you feel about someone when you barely even know them but it's as if you've known them all your life.

Never force someone into marriage with you, never ever. You are trying to make it happen with your all. On the issue of visions and dreams, you should be extremely careful. I know a handful of folks with your kind of gift who still ended up with the wrong partner in marriage. When it comes to marriage, the devil uses everything he has to derail those who appear to be very spiritually sound, especially the ones with prophetic gifts. Watch well, dude.

keepingmum:
A lady doesnt have to be heartbroken or have suffered heartbreak to reject a dude. Why dont you get that she is probably not into you?
Just like you look for qualities in a lady so also does she. She has her own standards and criteria and its likely you dont measure up.

Why does she call me when I don't call her for a while? Why does she respect me and behave like a wife whenever I'm around her? Why does she keep asking about me and trying to know about my past? Why did she say "there's something about me I want you to know, I always take my time before making a decision, I like to consider all the pros and the cons before I choose so that whenever anything goes wrong, I'd accept responsibility"? Why is she asking her colleagues around to dig up my past which is rough but I never hid anything from her? Can you help provide answers to these questions?