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How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by safarigirl(f): 3:12am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Hello Romancelanders, So, I once had this conversation with a friend on her relationships, and she seemed to have so many stories of exes that I had to ask her how many guys she's dated. Now, by dating, I mean someone who has lasted at least a month, anything outside that time period is just preliminaries. I've always held the opinion that a girl shouldn't date more than 3-5 guys before marriage, but funny enough, I've met females that can't last a month without having someone in their lives. I usually peg that as a psychological problem. But, here's my question, what is the average amount of relationships a young lady can get into pre-marriage without looking like a wreck? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by habideenib: 3:14am On Nov 06, 2016 |
[img]http:///2fnR3xZ[/img] |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 3:45am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Some ladies find their guy at the first try ,so it's not about numbers ![]() 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by safarigirl(f): 4:00am On Nov 06, 2016 |
KissChrix:So 10 guys is okay? First tries are not included, what is the acceptable limit? Surely there's a number a girl will tell you she's dated to get you going "babe, is it that serious?" Women are supposed to be emotionally invested in these things unlike guys |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 4:15am On Nov 06, 2016 |
safarigirl: Well, it depends on the lady's mentality though, some will settle for less, while some will keep looking till they find their dream partner. Relationships are not like rocket science. There's no clear cut answer for this 7 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Berbierklaus(f): 5:18am On Nov 06, 2016 |
[b]You have to be more open minded OP,this is 21st century and 2016,there is no "shock" if a girl dates as many guys as possible until she meets the right one,because in this century,there is nothing a man is entitled to that a woman is not allowed to. The world has evolved from dictating what a girl should do or not do to her simply because a has a Vjay or a weaker sex. Personally though,I believe anybody,(both boy and girl,gender segregation is a great sin to me) should think well and get to know their partners before dating, and If it's not working out,they can easily end it,Dating is just trial and error,until you are satisfied with the one that you can cope/tolerate/love for a very long time.Which is why in marriage there is no going back,the first question any sane person will ask when marriage blues start and a couple complains is "did you court your partner?" There is nothing like what a girl is "supposed to" that is a very sexist statement. She is a human being with the brains to think for herself not a piece of property,if you think her ideas is a mistake,let her make her own mistakes. So Safarigirl, a girl should date as much as possible while considering her best option. PS:Even If it involves sleeping with them all,she owns her body,The world has evolved beyond judging "girls" or boys with what they use their own body for[/b] 17 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 5:28am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: I endorse this statement. Beautifully put sis ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by connkg(m): 5:32am On Nov 06, 2016 |
There's a particular mentality responsible for (cyclical) dating, in my opinion. Perhaps, the term "dating" in this context needs to be clarified. Getting to know someone well enough for marriage presumes so much exclusive time invested, that I do not know how other friendships cannot be affected. To the question proper, challenges like medical reasons and parental refusal *MAY* create cyclical dating patterns, but in the absence of external factors, knowing someone and his/her family and background takes about a year. Knowing what you want to look for and working to avoid UNNECESSARY external factors should take less than 5cycles, mathematically speaking... ![]() 1 Like |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Berbierklaus(f): 5:39am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Dimples999:I dislike the "what a girl is supposed to do" talk. [size=35pt]A girl is a human being not a property[/size] Therefore a girl is "supposed to do" what makes her happy,not what the society or anybody thinks she is "supposed to do" ![]() 8 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by vitalisdiho(m): 6:06am On Nov 06, 2016 |
To be kosher* with you,mature lady does not has a limited guy but,she is sreaching for her husband |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 6:24am On Nov 06, 2016 |
How many guys you don date at present? 2 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 6:25am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: EXACTLY, tell them, tell them! 1 Like |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by dingbang(m): 6:25am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Safarigirl get urself a boyfriend. U can't continue being single like this. 5 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 6:33am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: The most painful part is that it's US women who set these limits. It's never the men really it's self hating women that set these rules and limitation. I wish the op catered this question without the gender bias stamp and just asked what's the healthy number of relationships one should go through before settling down. Then we could go along the route of this poster #Connkg who is looking at this from a psychological point of view rather than a gender specific one. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by falconey(m): 6:41am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: since you didn't specify I will hold my premise, FYI there are things a girl is suppose to do and not suppose to do. let me go with not suppose to do, it isn't much and difficult to do. in the op's concept of relationship, there are normative doctrines that a girl shouldn't sleep around, keep too much men around, dress indecent and be impolite(before marriage in this case) why not? she needs a branded good image, she will be soughted for marriage. about being a property, thats a peculiar premise, practically after marriage a woman beocomes a property of the husband and vice versa. you own her she owns you. there are so much subjectivities in a woman's perspective and it overwhelms so many logical hypothesis about courtship, thou both is mutually inclusively needed. what's it with women anyway? a woman calls her husband my property people laugh at it and think this is a proud and confident woman who take care of her hubby , if in the case of man saying she is my property it is assumed, he controls and uses her for chores. the sense of empathy and inferiority walk with women these days 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 6:41am On Nov 06, 2016 |
it depends on ur mission, if it's fun/money u get as many as u want but it z for marriage, I advice u stick to one faithful /serious type that is ready and willing to settle down bc playing smart by dating many men when in serious r/ship will end up making u look like a LovePeddler/potentially unfaithful and u end up been ditched, but don't allow men to take advantage of u sexually, u can kiss and offer him sex seldomly. 1 Like |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by nonjebose(m): 6:49am On Nov 06, 2016 |
safarigirl:No hard and fast rule to it. The important thing is getting the right person at the end. Dating is never a problem, settling down with the wrong person is. The number of persons she has dated does make much difference. My opinion, though 1 Like |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by LoveDecay(m): 6:56am On Nov 06, 2016 |
The maximum is three boyfriends ... any girl with more than that is carry excess baggage. But the issue is that girls always reduce the nos - so if she says 1 guy tis proly 3 guys, if she says 3 it proly 6. I always add 3 to the nos. My friend multiplies. 2 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by LoveDecay(m): 6:59am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: To quote the American's you so admire - "no freedom without responsibility" . While she is doing what makes her happy she should be willing to take responsibility for her actions. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by falconey(m): 7:23am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: I'd love to reply this comprehensively but won't because I'm afraid it will result to a long argument. society have doctrines and moral standards set for both genders. boys have their's so do girls, if we go against these moral conducts we will be condemned. i'm fully in support of this customs because man is a social animal and we cant survive without our society. if you must know, the belief of condemnation of some acts discourages most from going Haywire but if you think we should do what we feel and think and not consider the society standards let see where that get us, lol ofcourse you know where that has gotten us so far. do you know what i'd love to do with my body? you don't want to know, because of what society might say I restrained, besides youths make lot of atrocities when their sexual activeness hit it peak with certain moral rules we do few in sly. in a world gone crazy with sexual innuendos this is the recent bizzare notion I've come acrossed. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Justiyke4u: 7:33am On Nov 06, 2016 |
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Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Papiikush: 7:39am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: your comment is flawed in many ways Miss! This is Africa not the western world. You have cultures and morals don't copy those who are without morals and culture nor respect for whatsoever. ![]() I don't know when you become a feminist oh ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by safarigirl(f): 7:52am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: Ten guys before marriage is not you being liberated, it's you seeking validation from men or having daddy issues so you need a man in your life. My dear, you're not more feminist than I am, but the sad truth most feminists fail to realise it that both genders have different genetic make-up. Hence, the rule of "see them as equals" will never apply. What Paul can do with zero attachments, Paula can't do in same manner. I started this because women are much more guided in their choice of partners, they are analytical, not spontaneous. They NATURALLY do not just jump into bed or relationships with anyone because they feel like it, that's what men do. Women do not see relationships as some free-for-all candy store you can just walk into and pick the flavour of your choice, no, they think of feelings and emotions and if you think your heart can pass through 10 men before you land a husband, then your poor husband will end up being your therapist Even Chimamanda would wonder about a woman going through men like a pack of cards. It's not normal 22 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by SalomonKane: 7:56am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Frankly I can't put a number to it. Many things happen for reasons we can never seem to phantom. |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by safarigirl(f): 8:07am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus:most serial dating girls aren't happy... More like desperate, insecure, uncertain. If you have to go through more than five guys to find this elusive thing you're looking for, maybe it's not in the market. I didn't include guys in this topic because more often than not, guys don't go into relationships thinking of marriage, they just want to have fun. Girls in Africa and Asia especially (because the Americas are filled with robots who can enter even marriage and discard it in days), go into relationships with the possibility of marriage It is all this talk of girls not 'conforming' that has destroyed Americans and their relationship values. Everybody must conform to something, certain things are expected from males equally that are not held necessary for females eg the act of provision and protection. You don't see men calling for a revolt, most keep to such values and society frowns at any man who cannot provide for his family. Hence, the degrading name "fu*k boy", which is the male version of the degrading female term " ho" In truth, most women want everything for nothing. 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Berbierklaus(f): 8:36am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Papiikush:This is not a matter if feminist or not. And right here and now,I am not copying western cultures,I am only saying what should be fair to me as a girl. A girl should not be compelled to stay in a loveless,nonfunctional or even violent relationship,because there is a limit she can go with the number of men she has been with. that's hogwash. A girl should not remain single and forfeit her happiness because the society has given her the grace to be with a certain number of guys,that's another hogwash there. PS:I am perplexed and shocked that you could go so low,then again,we are humans,we don't stop surprising ourselves 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Papiikush: 8:44am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: As expected! Whenever a guy talks about not supporting their views as feminists they start with the whole "violent relationship" sentiments... That is just obsolete! Grow up already! open your eyes to reality! Most of you all blabbing about women rights can't even stand up for yourselves in the real world. Real feminists don't talk the way most of you all do here especially on nairaland. No offense ![]() I thought ladies are suppose to be "better than men" in cases well as expected except from stuffs like this right? ![]() There is nothing low in my comments cuz I am never harsh on women. In your words "I have sisters too" ![]() 9 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by JeffreyJamez(m): 8:55am On Nov 06, 2016 |
safarigirl: Brilliant! 4 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Nobody: 8:55am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus:@Underlined... Oh, You haven't heard? He's A Nutjob, Utter crackhead still stocked with the 12th Century Mentality... ![]() |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Berbierklaus(f): 8:55am On Nov 06, 2016 |
safarigirl:This is caging and illogical, even if it takes 20 guys before marriage to find what makes a girl happy,then so be it, Now resulting to terming it all sorts of things is another hogwash entirely,because a lot of factors could have led to that lifestyle.Please don't tell me you don't think outside the box My dear, you're not more feminist than I am, but the sad truth most feminists fail to realise it that both genders have different genetic make-up. Hence, the rule of "see them as equals" will never apply. What Paul can do with zero attachments, Paula can't do in same manner. First of all I am not even feminist in anyway,anybody that knows me,know I respect my place as a woman,what I am after in this particular discussion is the fair treatment of a girl in relations to her gender and the what not to do's. In the case of using genetic makeup as an excuse to impose a particular lifestyle on a girl, I will tell you to think outside the box because its just your mind and culture shock and will to be accepted as good playing a fast one on you. I started this because women are much more guided in their choice of partners, they are analytical, not spontaneous. They NATURALLY do not just jump into bed or relationships with anyone because they feel like it, that's what men do.Agreed,this does not mean somethings or events could not have led to them having a high number of men at their beck and call,even if they choose to adopt that as a lifestyle. Women do not see relationships as some free-for-all candy store you can just walk into and pick the flavour of your choice, no, they think of feelings and emotions and if you think your heart can pass through 10 men before you land a husband, then your poor husband will end up being your therapistAt this stage you need to cut down on the generalization. okay let's switch it both ways,men are supposed or even allowed to have any flavour of women they want,even up to 50 if it takes that to make them satisfied before landing a wife,then the poor wife will end up being his therapist ![]() ![]() Even Chimamanda would wonder about a woman going through men like a pack of cards. It's not normalChimamanda is a woman with her own right to believe what she wants,every women is not compelled to follow her footsteps. Repeat after me,this is not about feminism,this is about breaking out of the mindset of what a woman is supposed to do or not. 3 Likes |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Berbierklaus(f): 9:03am On Nov 06, 2016 |
safarigirl:This is caging and illogical, even if it takes 20 guys before marriage to find what makes a girl happy,then so be it, Now resulting to terming it all sorts of things is another hogwash entirely,because a lot of factors could have led to that lifestyle.Please don't tell me you don't think outside the box My dear, you're not more feminist than I am, but the sad truth most feminists fail to realise it that both genders have different genetic make-up. Hence, the rule of "see them as equals" will never apply. What Paul can do with zero attachments, Paula can't do in same manner.First of all I am not even feminist in anyway,anybody that knows me,know I respect my place as a woman,what I am after in this particular discussion is the fair treatment of a girl in relations to her gender and the what not to do's. In the case of using genetic makeup as an excuse to impose a particular lifestyle on a girl, I will tell you to think outside the box because its just your mind and culture shock and will to be accepted as good playing a fast one on you. I started this because women are much more guided in their choice of partners, they are analytical, not spontaneous. They NATURALLY do not just jump into bed or relationships with anyone because they feel like it, that's what men do.Agreed,this does not mean somethings or events could not have led to them having a high number of men at their beck and call,even if they choose to adopt that as a lifestyle. Women do not see relationships as some free-for-all candy store you can just walk into and pick the flavour of your choice, no, they think of feelings and emotions and if you think your heart can pass through 10 men before you land a husband, then your poor husband will end up being your therapistAt this stage you need to cut down on the generalization. okay let's switch it both ways,men are supposed or even allowed to have any flavour of women they want,even up to 50 if it takes that to make them satisfied before landing a wife,then the poor wife will end up being his therapist ![]() ![]() Even Chimamanda would wonder about a woman going through men like a pack of cards. It's not normalChimamanda is a woman with her own right to believe what she wants,every women is not compelled to follow her footsteps. Repeat after me,this is not about feminism,this is about breaking out of the mindset of what a woman is supposed to do or not. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Many Guys Should A Girl Date Before Marriage by Laveda(f): 9:11am On Nov 06, 2016 |
Berbierklaus: At emboldened, in as much as I'm in support of this particular comment I don't think that's right. There's just a number of guys a girl date, and you'd just ask 'nah wetin nau' Yes! No one is supposed to settle for less, but there's a point it gets to and you just need to sit and ask yourself certain questions, how long will you keep changing men? When it comes to issues like these we shouldn't compare ourselves to men, let's face reality. ![]() I think when a girl is faced with things like these, its better she takes her mind off relationships and think of better things to do with her life, till the next better man comes, she observes and see if he'll be good for her. PS: the girls changing boyfriends like boxers, go ask them they aren't proud of it. 4 Likes |
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