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My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 6:38pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Before anyone would ask if he wasn't like this before marriage. No he wasn't. He never cautioned me harshly in private not to talk of in public. When we were newly married he shouts at me in his younger brother's presence. (Why will they give me respect) He did it in the presence of our plumber cos I told him the prices of the items were expensive. Then our househelp. He does it so often that I begin to wonder what point he was trying to prove. To the extent that the lady started losing respect for me and giving me attitude anytime I caution her. That he even told her not to do what I asked her to do. Then the most recent was in church. He was struggling wit our toddler that he fell and I asked him to leave him. He just started shouting and everyone was looking. I really am not happy. And unknown to him, this is reducing my love for him. Cos i cant love someone dat disrespects me. I use to love telling people how wonderful he is but these days I cant. It's affecting my relationship with him. I'm considering embarrassing him back the next time he does it so he knows how it hurts cos he doesn't see anything wrong with it and never apologize. He says he doesn't like hiding his feelings. I ask "even when your words hurt your spouse". I'm worried cos we might be travelling soon and if he embarrases me in front of family members i might lose my temper. I need mature advises here pls. As i do not want to involve 3rd party. 29 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by JeffreyJamez(m): 6:47pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
This is simple... I'm sure you have your own "craze"..since you have talked to him about it and he has refused to listen, show him that small "craze" ..if he shouts at you, shout at him back... He go calm down! 169 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Laveda(f): 6:50pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez: I tell you, sometimes when you're too 'soft' for a man he treats you like trash. Imagine shouting for her in public, she should look for a way to go about it if she has talked to him privately. 53 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by JeffreyJamez(m): 6:51pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Laveda: She has not shown him her craze.... She should just show him small, that's all. 36 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 6:51pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Op be cautious of the way you follow the advises above me o. You just said ur hubby wasn't like this before but now he's showing his color at d slightest provocation. Who knows...you may think taking the above steps will calm him down but turn out to make things worse and these so called advicers would not be there to help your marriage. A man with a child can still remarry o but an after-one woman may find it difficult. Even if you're young blooded with radicality i still advice you to use a better approach not because ur husband is d head blabla but because you dont want to go thru a long marriage palava so early in life. Because if he takes d matter to his family he will not say he started it first. And your own family have received your total bride price...eaten it sef. So Calm your anger, talk to him heart-to-heart first, if that doesnt work, you can talk to your pastor or snr in-laws that have good sense of reasoning too...this is essential. Let them know you told them first so that when you take action, it will have deep effect and impression. Don't be deceived with the "no 3rd party" advice for new couples. There are some things you may actually need some one for. what matters is the kinda 3rd person you involve and of course not always. Besides what you're going thru is normal in the first 1-2yrs of marriage. Both of you will stabilize soon 250 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by mysticgal(f): 6:51pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
I know we are not supposed to wash dirty linens outside. But this happened with my mum and she shouted back. Like I remember her saying "orrrr, are you OK? Don't ever shout at me again" and even if my dad is mad, he would never do such. I don't know if it's the right to do but I'd do the same thing my mum did ![]() All the best.... 30 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 6:51pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
cc onegai
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Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by oatzeal(m): 6:52pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
If you check well, the level of assignment or job he s doing has increased. He has many more thing bothering him now. Don't shout at him back, don't try to comment or correct him every time anymore. Do it wen he s much relaxed. He is not doing all those things intentionally. He still loves you. Manage him. Women are meant to be manager of their homes. MANAGE HIM. Its your role. 47 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 6:52pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Emmm... I choose to dedicate this space to a special nairalander. ![]() ![]() She knows herself... Yippee 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 6:53pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
mysticgal: thanks 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by mysticgal(f): 7:02pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306:You are welcome.. You deserve the best 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 7:06pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
oatzeal: If you say he isnt doing it intentionally, how about saying "i dont like hiding my feelings" and refusing to apologize. 13 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 7:09pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306: Some men find it difficult to apologise. Maybe ego... I don't know My husband used to be one, he would rather act it_ get me a gift or something like that. Till I started doing same to him_ I told him I am a quick learner. Does he in anyway sober up or try to cheer you up after his actions? Any indirect apology, even in the other room ![]() 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by windeal: 7:10pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Please op don't shout at him back when he do in public.. It might end up beating you to pulp ...this is my advice to you op.. Whenever your husband shout at you in public ... In reactions just say "habbaa baby" it's OK then when you guys get home on happy mood just remind him his Bleep up in the public if he does it the house in front of your maid remind him when he takes you to the other room before bed things.. I bet you when you correct him two to three times in that manner he will change.. Thank me later 26 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Day11(m): 7:18pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Nagging spouse. I'm a victim of this as well. Shouting back at her/him won't stop a thing. There is something wrong with your hubby at d moment and you are the only one who can cure him The only way out ![]() Buy him a Mercedes Benz. Thank me later ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by oatzeal(m): 7:18pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306: There are different kinds of people, when you compare Mr A to B , you will miss it. Just like I said earlier. May be he has more things bothering his mind now. MAY BE. I don't know ur husband, but am like dat. Wen i have deadline for something, late for work... I can't give anybody 1sec to waste . I naturally become more aggressive. I can shout at anybody. Immediately, am done, get to my destination. I can play and smile with anyone. Just the opposite. Then I hate rhetorical questions. Now, its not 24/7 your husband shouts at you, at least you still do have time for romance. Use style to talk to him, Get to know him more. I believe he loves you 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by oatzeal(m): 7:24pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
I have heard my mother and other mothers saying things like : OUR DADDY WILL NOT LIKE IT... GET TO KNOW THOSE THINGS... I feel you have not done your assignment. DONT COMPARE YOUR MARRIAGE TO YOUR FRIEND'S MARRIAGE, OR TO WHAT YOU SEE ON TV. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by baby124: 7:33pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
When something starts, if you don't stop it quickly, it will grow wings. Tell him right there in a calm voice not to ever raise his voice at you again. If he has something contrary to say to you, he can say that in private. And even in private it must be with a calm and rational voice. 51 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 7:47pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
oatzeal: You snap at people when ur under pressure and you smile later. And come here to tell me dont compare. Did i mention anything about tv or friends. Learn to control your temper ![]() oatzeal: You snap at people when ur under pressure and you smile later. And come here to tell me dont compare. Did i mention anything about tv or friends. Learn to control your temper 25 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Richy4(m): 7:50pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
[b]Two wrongs can never make a right dear OP.... I suggest you table it to him nicely again the way you said it here Let him know how it was affecting you negatively,...... Ask him how he will feel if you loose your self respect outside.....Ask him how he will feel if a total stranger, a male to be précised starts yelling at you; say in a function over a minor mistake or issue......If he says he will feel bad, then let him know that he is giving them the license the way he was acting in public...Tell him that you did not ask him not to yell.. but yelling between spouses is like sex, It's not done in public....If he treats you like a door mat with welcome written allover it, then that means it is ok for anyone to say or do as they pleases.... Again try and find out if something is eating him up....It could be work related or fatherhood is catching up on him or finance etc... I did not want to ask this question but how long did you court this man?....You can't tell me you did not see any sign or you chose to ignore it.. He says he does not like to hide his feelings but obviously you must have seen a little sign and did not act on it fast enough.... But hey, there are good actors out there when it comes to a relationship, if there was no sigh, then he was very good...[/b]. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 7:56pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Richy4: thank you sir 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Richy4(m): 8:01pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 8:05pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
RadicallyBlunt: Thank you. i really do not want to retaliate as 2 wrongs dont make a right but my kind of person. wen someone intentionally hurts me i try to avoid the person and grow cold. but in this case its my husband. and i know its affecting my feelings towards him 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 8:10pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
oatzeal: You must be a selfish person. How about after you must have met your deadline, you lose your loved ones. See who's talking about doing assignment. You think life is all about you 58 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by KealDrogo: 8:10pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Op maybe you should consider shouting back at him in public when ever he try that nonsense again ![]() 29 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Viking007(m): 8:26pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306: ![]() Lord knows I don't like people who like shouting. I do see them as people with mental issues(no offense to Your husband). I don't think You screaming back at him will solve/change anything. Like someone rightly said above; talk to him when he's in a good mood. Pour Your mind out to him. Let him know he's seriously hurting You. Also pray, no harm in asking for God's intervention. All the best. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by modath(f): 8:32pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
......... Typing.. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 8:34pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306:I understand how you feel. Have you talked to him about it recently? 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 9:15pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
RadicallyBlunt: I have. he doesnt seem bothered.Keeps saying he doesnt hide his feelings. Dats why i made this post. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Nobody: 9:29pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306:For your kinda nature I offer my first post as advice sha. Try tell ur pastor or some close and snr in-law. I feel your pain |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Ishilove: 9:32pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
thewife306:I noticed his comments but I didn't want to comment. Very one sided and unrealistic. I'm not married so I don't know how will I react in the situations you've described. However, this is how my mum will react: she will NOT shout back at him when he is misbehaving. She will rather wait until they're alone then bring the roof down, shake the whole building and tear the entire house to pieces. It is wrong and very disrespectful of your hubby, and I will suggest that you talk to him when he is calm, describe what you're feeling and seriously warn him of dire consequences if he continues disrespecting you publicly. The bible exhorts us women be submissive to our husbands, but it also asks the husbands to treat their wives with respect. Something your hubby is not doing. I wish you the best and hope you sort it out. 28 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by thewife306: 9:36pm On Nov 12, 2016 |
Ishilove:Thanks Sis 6 Likes 1 Share |
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