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Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by MrD2: 3:36am On Nov 15, 2016 |
OP, pls DO NOT trt to embarass him back in public. U may feel it will solve d probs.......but believe me, it will cause more harm than good. Talk to him calmly about it in d other room. Each time he embarasses you, allow him to calm down, then u remind him later that u dislike d way he behaves towards you atimes. U will most likely see an improvement. He might also have some temporary challenges or pressure acting on him. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Paulezeh: 3:43am On Nov 15, 2016 |
On the contrary, we have not heard from the husband. I 've this issue with my wife for umpteenth times. These women are stubborn. They always play to the gallery. She will do something you detest first at home, you will calmly tell her that you don't like it. You will even give her the reasons why you don't like it. You might have given her the warning several times at home but she will like to do it in the public to attract public sympathy. When the man reacts, people will start looking at him as if he is irresponsible man. But they are giving instant judgement to a case that has been in adjournment for long. If you tell her to call for friends or family members to deliberate on some issues, they will say know ( third party). Me I want third party to resolve some issues before it gets to court or divorce. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by battleaxe: 4:23am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Someone once told me that our reaction to events(in this case anger) is not as a result of what the other says/does; but more because of our own internal baggage and interpretation of the event based on our past. I always used to think as well that when there was an issue and someone was ridiculing me/shouting; that I had to respond back in order not to look stupid. After viewing from afar some outbursts from people on arguments I was not involved in, I have found out that the person shouting is the one that looks like a fool. The person keeping quite wins the onlookers heart most often. In this case, maybe your husband felt that by rushing to help him with your child when he fell, that you were suggesting to people around that he was incapable of taking care of his own son/daughter. Pls, do not own his anger. It is his own baggage. Do not shout back, just let him know what impact this is having on you emotionally. If he is a wise man, he should listen. Tell him the say way he feels you're making a statement to the world on his in capability to care for his child for example, is the same way you feel. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by EkoErrands: 4:24am On Nov 15, 2016 |
thewife306: Op... I am not married and I don't know what page this my advice will fall into but I suggest you read it carefully. Don't make the mistake to shout back at him. The Bible already cursed the woman saying the man shall rule over her... All this you are suffering is the extension of the punishment for eating the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. And there is a way around it. Look for an occasion or event that both of you are supposed to attend together... I mean an outing that is so important that both of you are supposed to even wear the same clothing material. Ehen then change your mind at the last minute and tell him that you are afraid you won't be going to the event for fear that he will shout at you in public AGAIN. And the embarrassment is usually too much for you to bear and you can't imagine yourself shouting back at him in public. Then add... "If someone else were to embarrass him in your presence you would devour such a person with your bare hands so why should you now shout back at him. My sister continue to love and respect your man but no follow am go any where again... Not even church. When time reach just dress junior and put him in the front sit of the car and tell both of them bye bye. That's the person he should be shouting at whenever he wants to practice. It will even be good for the boys future (I'm assuming y'all have a son). By doing this you would have curtailed his shouting to the house only... And madam you will agree with me that is no longer public but private shouting... Just like the shout you self dey shout when he gives it to you right in the other room... Going by that.. If him shout for you for parlour... You self too shout for him at night in the other room No Love Lost... Peace! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by tjskii(f): 4:59am On Nov 15, 2016 |
I think it's a phase, cos it happened to me, the dude would be all irritable for nothing, the 1st and 2nd time I didn't say anything, the 3rd time I warned d guy in front of everyone , note I didn't shout or anything o, I just calmly told him, look oga don't embarrass me in front of people, if you have had a rough day at work, don't take it out on me, abi I resemble your subordinates for office,and I bounced, ignored the niggy for a while, he didn't apologize o, but he cautioned himself after that episode. I think you have to draw the line, I think men are wired to see how far they can push and what they can get away with(kinda like children) so if you continue to allow him, I doubt if he will have any self respect for you, the things you can't take, nip in the bud now, don't be playing good wife on the outside while you resent him on the inside, at d end of the day, you loose big time 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by slysteel: 5:02am On Nov 15, 2016 |
You came to nairaland to seek advice and then came little children to offer you advice,telling you to go show your husband some crase,you better respect yourself and think deeply,try talk to your husband and let him know you don't like the way he reacts,most times the problem is not even what you think it is,he might be under pressure or stressed out,you said it yourself that he wasn't like that before,you also need to be sure that he is not reacting to something you did or you are doing,some of us are very good in blaming others and never ourselves. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Rainmaker69(m): 5:15am On Nov 15, 2016 |
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Unless your physical health is in danger, you married him for better or for worse. You know your hubby best. In relationships, most Men are actually moved by submissiveness. Very few men respond kindly to confrontation. Be the voice of reason in your marriage and he will melt for you. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by barofterror(m): 5:45am On Nov 15, 2016 |
EfemenaXY:100,000 likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by AuroraB(f): 5:49am On Nov 15, 2016 |
dangotesmummy:Please let the 'tipa-tipa-marriage' people know. Maybe, just, maybe, they'll get a bit wiser. They won't give these advices if reverse were the case. Lord of the house No one's dragging the title with you, just wear the damn crown. I go with avoiding him even in the house. But take it from me, he's bringing yet another attitude worse than shouting. We all know what it is. Op, are you ready? |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by DavidEsq(m): 5:55am On Nov 15, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez:So true. For real, it work like magic o |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Theophilu(m): 6:11am On Nov 15, 2016 |
thewife306:U just need to pray for ur husband since you said he wasn't like that before. There is nothing prayer can not do. Beside don't try to shout at him pls it may lead to beating I bet with you. Just keep calm he will change. God will touch his heart. That is Marriage for you. By keeping quiet he will rethink one day and u should at least be telling him how you feel while doing that to you. God bless your home |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by satysaca: 6:14am On Nov 15, 2016 |
oatzeal: You are 100 right , this happens to me to I still love my wife very well but when she misbehaves I shout on her anywhere not intentionally but am a very straight forwarded person.please I will advice you to check his grieviences towards you. You might be getting on his nerves and saying some negative words to him a times or not the type that takes correction always looking for away to defend yourself whenever he tries to correct you or tell you something .Take it from me this is the genesis of the whole thing. It happens to me and my wife he might not tell you because you always feel you are right in whatever you do and when he talks you defend yourself and he feels insulted and you MUST have aroused his anger and it makes him does this always.Try and be civil to him to argue unnecessarily with him. Then see how things will come back. Never you say anything bad against his family all the time because he will hate your speach and will be angry with u. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Tellemall: 6:19am On Nov 15, 2016 |
DarkRebel101: Everything is wrong with that man on the bus. What sort of man gets on a crowded bus with his family? What sort of monster will sit his scaly hide down while his wife and children are left standing? What sort of stupid creature doesn't let the wife carry the children but screams at her to let them sit and that she should stand, when she had the aim of getting them all to sit since he didn't in the first place? Is that really a man? Oh, wait, I almost forgot. African men and Asian men must be the most horrid creatures ever born of woman to roam the planet. I guess culture has reduced their reasoning to the lowest levels. Figures. Conclusion: Many lowlifes are to be found on crowded buses. The ones who drive are a menace to only themselves, thankfully. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by superstarDikk(m): 6:21am On Nov 15, 2016 |
mysticgal:So ur mum shouted at ur dad and you wanna do same with ur husband? isokay.. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by mira24(f): 6:22am On Nov 15, 2016 |
My dad use to be like that,althrough our growing up to d extent my mum stoped following him to public places n occasions ,it took a very long time for my dad to stop cause my mum wasn't not ready to involve third parties n bring about about a life time saga between her n my dad ,but just recently my mum decided yo take the bull by d horn,on an outing he shouted at her ooooooo my God my mum losed it, and Also started shouting back at him,my dear,as am talking to u right now,DAT was the last time my dad shouted at my mum... 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by superstarDikk(m): 6:26am On Nov 15, 2016 |
thewife306:You are thanking her for this kinda advice? nawa o. The man saw something in you that no other woman has, thats why he married you. Talk to him about what he does. Tell him how it hurts and he will change. I'm damn sure he wouldn't wanna loose you |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by superstarDikk(m): 6:31am On Nov 15, 2016 |
mira24:Mira Mira. it might have worked with ur mum but it may not work with the op. Men are wired differently, some don't talk, some shout at the slightest provocation, while some get violent when shouted back at. So op should know the kinda man he is before taking actions 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Charly68: 6:33am On Nov 15, 2016 |
You want to hear the truth? Possibly you are a type that talks too much in public & he does not like it..but that notwistanding,let him know how you feel in the closet & the need for him to change his habit in this regards. I had similar experience with my spouse but we resolved it amicably. It is not every matter that you respond to in the public. A times you allow your husband to do the response while you keep your cool ..Backgrounds play a lot of roles in matters like this..It takes understanding to work things out. For example,my own parents communicate in the public without anybody knowing ..I have same trait because my parents don't need to open mouth before they talk to me..but here was I married to a talking type of woman..yet man must cope. After she protested about my attitude in the closeth I felt personally guilty doing such but had to let her know what she does that provoke my intuitive outburst. Now such a thing never occur again. Never take vengeance against the man. Resolve the matter amicably . 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by moonnstar(f): 6:35am On Nov 15, 2016 |
JeffreyJamez:SIMPLE |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by timibenson: 6:36am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Be careful of d advice u heed to and don't let people push u out of yr ouse |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by toprealman: 6:38am On Nov 15, 2016 |
TheWIFE...lol....nice ID. #1, was he like this during courtship.....if you guys courted? #2, What is a lady doing in your house in the name of housemaid....are you a learner? #3, Do you think turning the situation into a shouting match will make Chelsea win the EPL? #4, Have you told him how you feel....or as TheWife, will it be seen as a sacrilegious act? |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Immorttal: 6:39am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Which husband shouts at her wife in public? I am not understanding. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by uzolexis(f): 6:45am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Whiteguru1179: and in which holy book does it say wives should not react spontaneously too. The bible says love your wife, love begets respect and her husband is disrespecting her, he has no right to shout at her in public, they have a home, if she does something he doesn't like he should caution her at home that shows he respects her. Stop justifying emotional abuse. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by liveexoticfish: 6:47am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Hi. I don't have time to advice u but after I read everyone advice I think the best is for u to just follow the advice of Radically blunt |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by uzolexis(f): 6:51am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Whiteguru1179: so many misogynist on NL I tell you. She needs to be cut to size and he has to do that in public. To NL guys, once you become a wife you loose all your rights to become a human being, you don't feel, you don't act, you just become docile and every thing you do is only to please your husband who does not owe you the same obligation. wife=slave to husband. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by ialife: 7:00am On Nov 15, 2016 |
I guess u know ur husband more than anybody on this forum. If you think you have exhausted all options pray about it for directions on the next step to take. Not everybody is the same so some advises her may not work for him. I pray for wisdom to handle more issues that would com up in this journey. Remember to always love n respect him even when he doesn't seem to deserve it. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by DedeNkem: 7:05am On Nov 15, 2016 |
thewife306: Your husband is not happy with you, but his attitude is not the best way to resolve anything. If you do to him exactly what he does to you then you're no different from him. So the best thing to do is to starve him of sex until he opens up about what makes him unhappy with you or until he changes his behavior. While you're on sex strike, make sure you wear sexy stuff at home, especially, tight mini skirts and see-through night gowns. Nothing hits a husband to the core than being sex starved while you rub it on his face everyday by wearing those sexy stuff. When you're wearing a tight mini skirt and you know he's staring you, let something slip from your hand and slowly bend down to pick it up while backing him. He'll enjoy the sight while salivating. If you adhere to my advice, the problem will be resolved in a very short time. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by Albishir: 7:16am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Well, I might be havin a different opinion and view. Now could it also be possible that OP is also so fund of makin some funny or disgustin behaviors in the public and unfortunately for her, her husband is not the kind of man that can hold his breath until he gets home. My point is, OP plse check itself real good and make sure u re not always the cause of his reactions. |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by bayulll011(m): 7:18am On Nov 15, 2016 |
@ op the thing is we men sometimes behave silly,I can never shout at my wife in public or even raise my voice at her,she serf will behave with one or two body language if she mess up,u took it the first time,u accepted it second time,3rd time might even be a slap,all u need to do is when he shout at u in public next time,don't shout back,wait till u get home and raise the roof,make sure its shakes to its foundations nd let him understand that your not shouting back in public is because of your love for him and if he continues he will loose the love,he will be set to deafult mood 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by favexx(f): 7:27am On Nov 15, 2016 |
Sister if u hv any hint he is about to shout @ u in public, forge a fone call and leave that place he would end up looking like he is mad cos people would keep wondering y he is shouting...kuma dat ur house help beat am small na or check if hubby don dey press bobbi...nothing is impossible 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by ferhyntorlah(f): 7:29am On Nov 15, 2016 |
dangotesmummy: This is the reality on ground. I've formed the habit of observing couples, and I've noticed that the wives look way older than the man. The stress an average Nigerian woman goes through in her marriage is mind-boggling. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Always Shouts At Me In Public by favexx(f): 7:29am On Nov 15, 2016 |
DedeNkem:of cus this advice is all u need @ op to loose ur husband to dat silly house help of urs |
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