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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / Islam for Muslims / Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar (41014 Views)
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Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by iykedare(m): 1:21pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lolaed: He isn't misguiding anyone. That is what the Quran tells them. But then, isn't it better men marry 2 or 3 wives than frolicking with 20 to 30 women. Some kind of evil are better than others. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 1:29pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lolaed: Being just in the context that I've mentioned is not something that is "hard" like you put it, Allaah does not put burden on his slave more than hw can bear, blame the people who are not practicing it right, not the text. I have Stated what "just" means, and its very much achievable. Marriage to one woman is a big deal let alone two three or four. It is hard.. and justice is not something majority can do. Don't make it seem trivial. In this period of recession ask people with a wife and two kids how they fare before encouraging a multitude of mostly, semi educated nigerian muslims to practoce polygamy. Do u know what happens in most cases eventually? The women become the bread winners and run from pillar to post in order to provide for their children. I THINK I MADE IT CLEAR ON WHOM I'M ENCOURAGING? THOSE THAT CAN AFFORD IT. You on the other hand is condemning it altogether hiding under the issue that some are not practicing it right. 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Empiree: 1:34pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lexiconkabir:How often depends on you as husband. You created it and you should put them in their places. I am glad you understood there would be misunderstandings. But if they gang up on you, chai, you go run through back door to your father's house and papa go tell you "iriri aye lo ri yen" ![]() It is fun and rocky. The MOST important is, as husband, be sure children from different mothers are UNITED. Never do abosi btw them. If children are intact, wallahi, mothers na small thing. Thank God, we have that in my family. Now that we grow up, our mothers have no choice but to put aside their differences. Matter of fact, my step mom raised me when papa and mama traveled for work purposes. Again, it is all about husband, He should never be unfair to any of them to avoid problems. Still there will be but if they can sense you try your best, their misunderstanding will be limited. 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by aisammy4: 2:13pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lexiconkabir:my dad married my mum and that will be the path. i found very stressful to date 2 ladies talkless marrying them. how, depending on my financial position in life, i should be able to take care of two women. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by tintingz(m): 2:16pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
360frolic: ![]() ![]() First it is not harmful to all men to marry one wife, not all men have the responsibility to catar for multiple wives, Mr shiekh don't have to shove it to our throat, not in this Buhari recession. @bolded, I can see he said a man should start from two what about one? After a man marry two finish and he can't do just, he will divorce one? Polygamy has advantage and also disadvantage, we don't need to start from two. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 2:17pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
dragnet: there are better things a man can do with his time here on earth than counting the number of wives and gender of children he is going to have. we should be thinking of advancing the standard of living of our country and breaking the plague of poverty and famine ravaging us in Africa. God is not the author of poverty if you look around you you will see the manifestation of Allah glory. grass dont try to grow they just grow. sun don't force itself to shine it just do Allah has lavish us with extreme abundance only that we should be putting our brain to harness this things not our third leg to procreate without ambition. salam 3 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 2:18pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
aisammy4: But make sure you don't have extra marital affairs if you want one wife, but if you fear you won't be able to do that, then its better compared to having an haraam affair outside your home. 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by MFAy: 2:24pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Interesting stuff. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by notttty(m): 3:10pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
for me my case is a bit different, all my life i dated non Muslims but wont dare show them off to my parents cos they are not Muslims, especially as my dad is in the board of supreme council of Islamic affairs, now dad been asking me to find bring my gf or fiancee home since i finished service and got a job that he wouldn't wan me to be promiscuous that it will spell doom on him in hereafter as a father didn't teach his kids well and i know he has spent his entire life living a very pious life and has done his best for us as a father, very dedicated and his knowledge of QURAN is enormous, the problem is i feel so guilty knowing am just am spoiling his entire earth work to attain JANNA, and am determine to perfect my ways, but what made is worse now is i have been transferred to Lagos from Abuja ( another sin city) and its hard to concentrate and see a Muslim, trust me if i find one i wont mind getting married before NEXT RAMADAN INSHALLAH. pls i need advise on how to go, places i can attend Islamic studies and maybe i can meet anyone or something....thanks whoever is reading this Dont hold your breath sir.[/quote] 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 3:41pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Shafiiimran99: It must, unless there are much more women than men. The only reason why we dont notice it now is that almost all Muslim men are monogamous. If every Muslim man of marriageable age was to marry 2 wives or more, where will the extra women come from? Add to that the fact that most Muslim men that want to marry a second wife will still look for a young unmarried woman instead of a divorcee or a widow. This further reduces the number of young women available for the young men. Like I said, it is only because most Muslims do not marry two wives or more that the discrepancy is not noticeable. notttty: Perfect yourself first before you look for a Muslim wife. Do not marry a Muslimah if you are still tempted to be shopping around for girlfriends and what not. We all have sinned and made mistakes, but a before you marry, throw off all chances of repeating this really foolish mistake, that could bring problems, headaches and venereal diseases into your Muslim home. Make sure that you are ready for a lifetime commitment of maintaining your chastity for your wife (wives) alone. As for where you can find a wife, many get engaged from university/ poly, or through family friends. Alternatively, tell your father and mother that you are ready to marry a good Muslimah. Parents usually have an eye out for someone that they think will be good for their children. My children are still young, but I still occasionally assess someone of their age group for who will make a good husband for my girls or a good wife for my boys among my friends' children, though I do not know if my children will appreciate my private matchmaking when they grow up. Oh, and this forum has an ad for Muslim matrimony at the top of the page (just scroll up). Maybe you can try it. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by tintingz(m): 4:03pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Empiree:Same here too, I grew up from a polygamous family. I can see the stress my dad goes through to balance everything in the family. 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by notttty(m): 4:22pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Farmerforlife:thanks a lot MAY ALLAH(SWT) increase you IMMAN. AMin.... the other thing is i have been trying as much as i can to abstain from my past cos i had a terrifying experience last summer during the time i was holidaying with ex school mates and since then there is this rebirth and some kind of devotion i found, i have tried to read some books and understand the basic knowledge of Islam cos over a long period of time i have neglected the HOLY QURAN and it has left me a bit but i have found my rhythm back. never have i been a fan of mach-making tho and maybe that why i have awful taste in women so far, because i especially tend to fall for the sexiness, ( ASTAGFURULLAH) .. Thanks anyway and i really appreciate your help... pls i hope u dont mind a DM for future personal advise. MASALLAM |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by dragnet: 4:50pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
WinningSun:Better things you say? Allaah said he never created the jinns and mankid except that they should worship him, marriage as prescribed by Allaah can be part and a means of worship and also to greater good. Most of what you stated up there as "better things" can not be achieved in the absence of marriage because marriage is meant to lead to procreation and procreation leads to more man and brain power! WinningSun: This is a very wrong mode of reasoning and it's usually found amongst the people of the book, muslims should not think in such manner... Allaah stated in many places in the Quran, I've helped you out a bit so you need not go searching, [b] Q13vs26 Allâh increases the provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills), and they rejoice in the life of the world, whereas the life of this world as compared with the Hereafter is but a brief passing enjoyment. Q17vs30 Truly, your Lord enlarges the provision for whom He wills and straitens (for whom He wills). Verily, He is Ever All-Knower, All-Seer of His slaves. Q28vs82 And those who had desired (for a position like) his position the day before, began to say: "Know you not that it is Allâh Who enlarges the provision or restricts it to whomsoever He pleases of His slaves. Had it not been that Allâh was Gracious to us, He could have caused the earth to swallow us up (also)! Know you not that the disbelievers will never be successful. Q29vs62 Allâh enlarges the provision for whom He wills of His slaves, and straitens it for whom (He wills). Verily, Allâh is the AllKnower of everything. Q30vs37 Do they not see that Allâh enlarges the provision for whom He wills and straitens (it for whom He wills). Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who believe. Q34vs37 Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Verily, my Lord enlarges and restricts the provision to whom He pleases, but most men know not." Q34vs39 Say: "Truly, my Lord enlarges the provision for whom He wills of His slaves, and (also) restricts (it) for him, and whatsoever you spend of anything (in Allâh's Cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers." Q39vs52 Do they not know that Allâh enlarges the provision for whom He wills, and straitens it (for whom He wills). Verily, in this are signs for the folk who believe! Q42vs12 To Him belong the keys of the heavens and the earth, He enlarges provision for whom He wills, and straitens (it for whom He wills). Verily! He is the All-Knower of everything. [/b] |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 4:59pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Interesting and educating thread. Marrying more than one wife is a no-no for me. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 5:07pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
gensteejay: And hope extra marital affairs is also a no no for you? 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 5:09pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lexiconkabir:In sha Allah. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by HaneefahRN(f): 6:29pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
He gave this same message at a nikkah he was invited to, kept bringing bringing having a 2nd wife up to the new husband. Another Ustaz that spoke after him broadened the talk, letting the husband know fully the advantages and disadvantages of polygamy and the attached requirements I personally don't fancy the polygyny talk, and no one should come here to tell me about Iman. And not like they'll go for widows and divorcees they keep talking about, it's a young girl who probably has series of young, single suitors asking for her hand, they'll also chase after. And I'm talking about majority 3 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Empiree: 7:31pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
To be honest, the issue of not taking more than one wife is not about Iman (faith). It is about what you have or what you dont have if you understand what I mean. It is only a matter of iman if a muslim completely reject the ayah of Quran in this effect. It is natural instinct that women should be jealous should her husband decides to marry second wife. It is not about iman at all. I am pro mono and poly since Islam does not mandates it on us. But I reject anyone who trashes polygamy mindlessly. Look at the so called nollywood, i read on naijagists website a year ago about actors complaining about one wife is not enough. Mr Jibola Dabo was interviewed about this. Please search for the article online by typing his name. They also cited King Sunny Ade. These two are Christians yet they are poly people. Mr Dabo was far as saying that muslims are correct. He said dont trust those people saying they cant marry multiple wives. Me too dont like to deceive myself. Even in America, these men would have married more women but bcuz of limit by law, they are unable to do so but the law doesnt mind if they have bunch of baby mamas outside wedlock. This dents the rights of women for real. Also, kindly read this article by TOLA ADENIYI titled [size=20pt]"THE AGONY OF MONOGAMY."[/size] Interesting read. http://folasophical.com/?p=1965 So i dont take people who say they dont want more than one woman serious. And of-course, no one says it is obligatory. But if Allah had willed it for you, nothing, absolutely nothing you can do. He(azal wajal) will create the condition for it. This Sheikh Muyideen, all i can say is, he is talking from experience. I watched the lecture on YouTube. Makes sense to me. I understand we all have different backgrounds. If you grew up in mono house it may be difficult for you to figure out how poly works. In my high school days, a VP who is also called pastor married 5 wives in the city (legally). Yet, this man have concubines in his village (students). Yes, he slept with students a lot.. Kindly read the book THE AGONY OF MONOGAMY- BY TOLA ADENIYI http://folasophical.com/?p=1965 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by lyricalz: 8:33pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Bunch of crap |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Yankelaptops: 9:19pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
1. If you want to practice marrying four, do your self a favor and let your first wife know that you'll be marrying four. Its better for you and her to know before marriage. 2. Don't marry another wife with your wife's wealth 3. Don't marry another wife through Zina... Every seconds/hours spent with another woman will be paid back to the wife at home with your good deeds on the day of Jannah. 4. Don't marry multiple if you cannot afford it. You'll be accountable to Allah if your wife ends up fending for herself and children. In addition to providing for your wife and kids, you as a man is also responsible for the monetary affairs of parents, sisters, aunts, etc. Men of today only pick and select sunnah. No one is taking care of widows, and divorcees.. I wonder if that sunnah flew out the window. 5. Its very sad that the sunnah that men of today are happy about is polygamy. I wonder sometimes why there is no ISLAMIC caliphate for over 100 year. The sahabah were never like this. They protected the Ummah. The sunnah of lowering gaze for men flew out the window. Zina is the order of the day. The sunnah of providing for parents, sister, aunts, and women in the community flew out the window. The sunnah of protecting women in the community flew out the window. The sunnah of protecting the Muslim Ummah flew out the window. The Sunnah of having an Islamic Caliphate flew out the window. The sunnah of not assaulting their wife flew out the window. The sunnah of educating their wife(s) flew out the window. An the list goes on 4 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:23pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lexiconkabir: Alhamdulillaah. You see ehn, when one wants to practice the religion of Islaam with his/her own 'sense' , things get awry, not adhering to the sunnah the proper way makes things hard for us, and the deen is not hard if you use rasulullaah as a yardstick ie not doing 'aseeto'/underDO and not doing 'aseepoju'/overDO. Rasulullaah had like 9 wives ryt?! And from the ahadith, I never see whr he put more than a wife in a quarter..every wife with her apartment, this is whr majority of men get it wrong. We think getting dem in d same aws, sharing the same thing is sunnah, some men even share a room with two wives using drape to separate the room(pathetic)Laa, this is weirdly inconsistent with common sense. Me dat is a guy really dislike sharing rest room, kitchen with others, talk less of amongst women(wives). Rasulullaah is the best, noblest of creation, yet he separated his wives in their various quarters, knowing fully well what 'women' are capable of, and if we obey rasullullaah, we r indirectly obeying Allaah. It will be hard for quarrel to occur, since everybody dey gidigba for her apartment. PS; from the verse in the Qur'an abt marrying more dan one wife, the latter part says, if we(men) can't be just, stick with ONE...this is the major cause of unhealthy 4 wives. Majority of men are not JUST wen it comes to this aspect, except the one Allaah helps to be just. And u can be JUST if u've 'ilm/beneficial knowledge, and u act by it('ilm) the way rasulullaah and his sahabas acted by it. Also, from the 4 character to look for in a woman by d rasul d 'koko' is religion, if a man marries a religious, virtous women, who know dat it is 1-4 wives is SUNNAH, I can bet u, fyt go hardly occur for decades, except if Allaah wills it. Allaah musta'an! 3 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:27pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Bujumbura: But in this recession, you can have 92 girlfriends ba?! Stop ur archaic thinking guy!!!! Una sha wan dey copy America for everytyn...legalise one man, one wife, but you can have 100 baby mamas!!! Shio 3 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:32pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lolaed: Who come say 'monogamy' dey compulsory? Who said it is a rule? Using foul words on people is not the sunnaah. If u can't engage in polygamy, den don't engage in it, but don't come here and criticise it, bcuz the best of mankind(Rasulullaah) engaged in polygamy! 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:40pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
lolaed: Some are in monogamy and can't feed themselves, talk less of the significant other. You forget, Allaah grants means of sustenance. Some people have more than 80 children, and they are well fed, some have a child and can't give a complete single meal. Na choice if ppl go into polygamy, wat u think doesn't matter! If u hate polygamy, that is ur problem, but criticizing it, is criticizing kalamuLlaah/Qur'an! And hatred like this makes one fall into a kind of 'nifaq'/hypocrisy. I seek refuge in Allaah from nifaq, may Allaah not make us fall into nifaq of any kind, ameen. 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:42pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:47pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
abula112: You are wrong brother. Most of us forget Allaah provides..and Allaah does not burden a being more dan what he/she can handle. Most people believe that if one must marry more dan one wife, he should be having quintillion in his bank account, LAA...I can be making 90k or less and still mantain more than one wife, biiziniLLaah. TAWAKALTU ALA LILLAAH everyone!!!!!!!(O_O) 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:50pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
RABIUSHILE04: She probably will prefer her husband having an affair outside to bringing the woman home for marriage. |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Yankelaptops: 9:52pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
So men with four wives don't have affairs... 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 9:54pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Empiree: LOL, gang up indeed. Na dat kind gang up make rasulullaah ves for all him wives..dat he boycotted dem for a month, and the gang up na innocous o..honest gang up...but he got vexed. Solution dey for wen two wives gang up against you, marry a third one..heheheh...#jokes_apart o Alhamdulillaah in my home(2 wives), we the children are ONE, dat is 'barakah' from Allaah. I agree with 'empiree'..no matter what hitch must dey, but one gats exercise 'sabr'. It depends on the MAN gaskia. If he dey do 30-70 to the wives, na OYO be in case niyen o. Allaah's help is sought. 2 Likes |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 10:07pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
HaneefahRN: So will the young girl be forced ni? Aw does it affect people with the choices some people make? If a man chooses to marry 4 wives who are young girls in their time, was she coerced ni? I think saying you don't fancy this polygyn talk is lacking of you sister. 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 10:11pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Yankelaptops: Wen no be 'eye-insect'. IFF it occurs, it will be 1 in a 2million. And if it occurs, the nigga needs to be HIGHLY 'RUQYA-ed. The jinn is strongly playing FIFA with his soul! 1 Like |
Re: Why It Is Dangerous For A Muslim To Marry Only One Wife – Islamic Scholar by Nobody: 10:18pm On Nov 17, 2016 |
Naturally, man is polygamous in nature, and woman is monogamous in nature. Allaah that created us knows about this, thus making it halaal for men to be polygamy-ed and not vice versa. This is a FACT, most women know and prefer their husbands keep the girlfriends outside, even if the gf(s) have kids from him, but he shouldn't bring dem home. Many 'akobas' ; zina, assisting in zina, shamelessness(from both party), bastards, this occurs mostly from the 'one man-one wife-90 girl friends' people! Na wen the 'one man' die, the 'one wife' go dey see 90 gf's claiming property! 3 Likes 1 Share |
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