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Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him - Family - Nairaland

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Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by AjalaJ(m): 12:05pm On Nov 19, 2016
Should I tell my husband that the daughters he loves so much don’t belong to him?

My husband loves both of his daughters a lot, but he isn't their father. Should I tell him?

I am love married for 15 years now and living happily with my husband and two daughters 14 & 13 years old.

He is not their real father and he is not aware of that.
From my college days when I was dating him, I used to have casual sex with guys around.

Please don't ask me about counts.
After marrige I became a housewife and was less social.
But this didn't change me.

I still get to meet guys when my husband was out which included his cousin,friends,laundry man, neighbours etc.
So in short I did it with multiple guys.

And I have no regrets,I still do it but less frequently.

When my daughters where 5 & 6 I got their dna tested and as expected came to know he isn't their father.

He is a good man though, but I feel if I tell him,he will leave me, and that will affect my daughters life financially.

So what should I do?



ANSWER:

I’m going to assume this is a joke post. Assuming it isn’t—big mistake on my part—here’s my answer and it’s going to be somewhat harsh.

What you did before your marriage is your business. I fooled around quite a bit before I got married, had multiple girlfriends, enjoyed life, and I don’t have a double standard where men sleeping around is okay while for women it isn’t. Women are free to do what they want and more power to them, but…

Men don’t get pregnant. You did. From other men. And your attitude since you found out has been nothing short of hypocritical. You continued having extra-marital affairs, had two children with different men, and you are using your husband as an ATM machine.

He loves his children….he doesn’t know they’re not biologically his. Have you given a thought to how he feels or how he would feel if he knew? I don’t think you have, at least, not much, according to your letter.

You care for your daughters, but don’t care enough to be faithful to your husband or at least tell him the truth. So FWIW, you owe him the truth. If he leaves you, he’s more than justified, IMO. If he doesn’t, you should be thankful and you should leave, as he is the superior parent in this situation.


Source: https://www.quora.com/My-husband-loves-both-of-his-daughters-a-lot-but-he-isnt-their-father-Should-I-tell-him

Neteller here: www..com.ng
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by afanide: 12:10pm On Nov 19, 2016
Abasi Mbok shocked shocked shocked
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by emeraldknytt(m): 12:46pm On Nov 19, 2016
afanide:
Abasi Mbok shocked shocked shocked
Abegi, what does 'Mbok' mean ?? e don tey wey I wan dey ask

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by purple3091: 1:13pm On Nov 19, 2016
no dont dare tell him unless you are a stupid woman,men have egos,more physical strength than us,and run a patriachal society(depends where you are though)....i have 4 kids sister,all boys and just the first is my husbands,the rest from my younger hunk lovers.and my husband doesnt know because since am in nigeria and its hard for a woman/female i know what would happen plus i married my husband for his money and his old(ten years older than me),just keep agreeing with his view on women and men so he never suspects me,while in private i get the younger,hotter men "...am in that pink ferrari,i got a thing for porsches,i like my men like my cars,strong and built like horses.." this verse frm Trina,singing million dollar girl...point is:younger men are more physical attractive,sex is easy for women to get since we are the desireable gender and older men just have economical advantage,therefore i chose the best of both worlds.you should do the same sister smiley

2 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ultimateyankee: 1:18pm On Nov 19, 2016
Ashiawooo women God is watching you people
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 1:23pm On Nov 19, 2016
emeraldknytt:
Abegi, what does 'Mbok' mean ?? e don tey wey I wan dey ask

Please
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by DozieInc(m): 1:33pm On Nov 19, 2016
.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by dangotesmummy: 3:49pm On Nov 19, 2016
When you know your v@gina cannot be closed or restricted to only your husband why did you marry? undecided

He's still going to know anyway It's just a matter of time undecided
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 4:02pm On Nov 19, 2016
No matter how large the tissues of falsehood might be, it can never cover the immensity of factuality. Attempting to conceal the truth is like burying a seed in a wet, manured field—it stays hidden for some time but eventually sprouts up and cuts through the patina of untruth with a thin blade of florescence.

Tell your husband the truth while you still can. It's better he hears it straight from the horse's mouth than that he gets the news from the grapevine.

I cannot help but wonder how you've managed to look him in the eye for fifteen years knowing your marriage was built on one big lie.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 4:32pm On Nov 19, 2016
DarkRebel101:
No matter how large the tissues of falsehood might be, they can never cover the immensity of factuality. The truth is like burying a seed in a wet, manured field—it stays hidden for some time but eventually sprouts up and cuts through the patina of untruth with a thin-blade of florescence.

Tell your husband the truth while you still can. It's better he hears it straight from the horse's mouth than that he gets the news from the grapevine.

I cannot help but wonder how you've managed to look him in the eye for fifteen years knowing your marriage was built on one big lie.

Horse mouth ko, Kettle mouth ni undecided

Don't tell him anything & don't tell anyone anything, even your Mum, Dad, sister, friends or anyone close to you.

What u don't know cannot/will not kill you. I have secrets i have kept for years that no one knows and will not know. lipsrsealed

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 4:42pm On Nov 19, 2016
truthsayer007:


Horse mouth ko, Kettle mouth ni undecided

Don't tell him anything & don't tell anyone anything, even your Mum, Dad, sister, friends or anyone close to you.

If you were married and, perchance, two of your children were fathered by another man unbeknownst to you. Are you saying you prefer that the truth is withheld from you because living in denial is a better way of coping with problems for you?


What u don't know cannot/will not kill you.

That one doesn't know he/she has AIDS does not make him-her any more immune to the virus; it also doesn't mean he-she wouldn't die from it. To think otherwise would be to live in a fool's paradise.

This and the much touted “ignorance is bliss” claptrap are the two most misleading apothegms humanity has ever conjured.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 4:47pm On Nov 19, 2016
DarkRebel101:


If you were married and, perchance, two of your children were fathered by another man unbeknownst to you. Are you saying you prefer that the truth is withheld from you because living in denial is a better way of coping with problems for you?


Yes, I prefer that the information is withheld from me. Life is too short please.

For Example: If my wife had an abortion before she got married to me, as long as we don't have any issues in given birth. I prefer she not telling me anything about it. Period.

6 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 5:07pm On Nov 19, 2016
truthsayer007:


Yes, I prefer that the information is withheld from me. Life is too short please.

For Example: If my wife had an abortion before she got married to me, as long as we don't have any issues in given birth. I prefer she not telling me anything about it. Period.

Then your sobriquet shouldn't be truthsayer since you don't like saying or hearing the truth except when the timing and circumstances are convenient.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by afanide: 5:23pm On Nov 19, 2016
emeraldknytt:
Abegi, what does 'Mbok' mean ?? e don tey wey I wan dey ask



It means 'Please'
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by emeraldknytt(m): 7:52pm On Nov 19, 2016
Pidgin2:

Please
afanide:




It means 'Please'
Thank you so much...guys wink wink
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by BizLifeE: 10:38pm On Nov 19, 2016
This is a serious issue. I would ask the elderly to know their opinions.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ifyalways(f): 11:33pm On Nov 19, 2016
So how was the DNA test done without the husbands knowledge because for DNA testing, dad's sample is needed

Bloggers and their usual tales for traffic.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ShakurM(m): 7:10am On Nov 20, 2016
purple3091:
no dont dare tell him unless you are a stupid woman,men have egos,more physical strength than us,and run a patriachal society(depends where you are though)....i have 4 kids sister,all boys and just the first is my husbands,the rest from my younger hunk lovers.and my husband doesnt know because since am in nigeria and its hard for a woman/female i know what would happen plus i married my husband for his money and his old(ten years older than me),just keep agreeing with his view on women and men so he never suspects me,while in private i get the younger,hotter men "...am in that pink ferrari,i got a thing for porsches,i like my men like my cars,strong and built like horses.." this verse frm Trina,singing million dollar girl...point is:younger men are more physical attractive,sex is easy for women to get since we are the desireable gender and older men just have economical advantage,therefore i chose the best of both worlds.you should do the same sister smiley
I thank God for your weed man grin

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ituglobal(m): 7:59am On Nov 20, 2016
Is the woman even sure that the girls belong to those lovers outside? They don't even know they got kids by her, and she shouldn't do anything that would destroy her marriage.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Viking007(m): 10:30am On Nov 20, 2016
Sometimes if Your intentions are for good...it's ok to keep Your mouth shut or lie if needed.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 11:18am On Nov 20, 2016
ifyalways:
So how was the DNA test done without the husbands knowledge because for DNA testing, dad's sample is needed

Bloggers and their usual tales for traffic.
I know someone who forged a DNA test result..
Connived with the doctor to falsify the result..


Somethings are meant to be taken to the grave, this up there should be one of them!
Tell that guy he is not the father and the relationship will never be same and normal again, not after you've lied to him all the while!!

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ifyalways(f): 12:53pm On Nov 20, 2016
Captainbells:

I know someone who forged a DNA test result..
Connived with the doctor to falsify the result..


Somethings are meant to be taken to the grave, this up there should be one of them!
Tell that guy he is not the father and the relationship will never be same and normal again, not after you've lied to him all the while!!
Which "doctor" does DNA testing? How can DNA test be carried without samples of the suspected dad/s?

My dear, I shake gele for una o. You think say DNA test na genotype? How many labs in Nigeria handles DNA testing sef, definitely not up to five.

1 Like

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 1:06pm On Nov 20, 2016
ifyalways:

Which "doctor" does DNA testing? How can DNA test be carried without samples of the suspected dad/s?

My dear, I shake gele for una o. You think say DNA test na genotype? How many labs in Nigeria handles DNA testing sef, definitely not up to five.
Aunty doctor is a family friend and also a lab director.
I never said it happened in Nigeria, did I?
They only found out it was falsified when they was asked to get another test by the court.. The court chose an approved testing company. DNA analysis at Kings college!!!
And nope I don't know how many Nigeria Labs handle DNA testing!!
You can also book a private DNA test services, hope you know that!
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by 5minsmadness: 1:36pm On Nov 20, 2016
ifyalways:

Which "doctor" does DNA testing? How can DNA test be carried without samples of the suspected dad/s?

My dear, I shake gele for una o. You think say DNA test na genotype? How many labs in Nigeria handles DNA testing sef, definitely not up to five.

grin

But seriously angry

Social media is becoming more and more of a nuisance nowadays, weaving lies to bamboozle and discombobulate the gullible public. How do you do a comparative DNA test without collecting a sample of the husband's blood?

Anyway, it makes for good entertainment.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by 5minsmadness: 1:37pm On Nov 20, 2016
Captainbells:

Aunty doctor is a family friend and also a lab director.
I never said it happened in Nigeria, did I?
They only found out it was falsified when they was asked to get another test by the court.. The court chose an approved testing company. DNA analysis at Kings college!!!
And nope I don't know how many Nigeria Labs handle DNA testing!!
You can also book a private DNA test services, hope you know that!

Calm down smiley
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 1:46pm On Nov 20, 2016
5minsmadness:


grin

But seriously angry

Social media is becoming more and more of a nuisance nowadays, weaving lies to bamboozle and discombobulate the gullible public. How do you do a comparative DNA test without collecting a sample of the husband's blood?

Anyway, it makes for good entertainment.
The last time I checked, one could use other samples for a DNA test.. Whatever happened to hair from the roots?
Toothbrush?
Chewing gum?

Making assumptions and branding a person a liar is never a good look.
Now I don't care about the story up there, I was just making a comment on something I know that happened.. smiley

2 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ifyalways(f): 1:58pm On Nov 20, 2016
And in your outside Nigeria, DNA testing was carried out with special specimen eg toothbrush, hair WITHOUT the consent signature of the owner of submitted specimen?

Okay!
Captainbells:

Aunty doctor is a family friend and also a lab director.
I never said it happened in Nigeria, did I?
They only found out it was falsified when they was asked to get another test by the court.. The court chose an approved testing company. DNA analysis at Kings college!!!
And nope I don't know how many Nigeria Labs handle DNA testing!!
You can also book a private DNA test services, hope you know that!
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by 5minsmadness: 1:59pm On Nov 20, 2016
Captainbells:

The last time I checked, one could use other samples for a DNA test.. Whatever happened to hair from the roots?
Toothbrush?
Chewing gum?


Making assumptions and branding a person a liar is never a good look.
Now I don't care about the story up there, I was just making a comment on something I know that happened.. smiley
grin

Ok. No wahala.
Happy Sunday.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 2:03pm On Nov 20, 2016
ifyalways:
And in your outside Nigeria, DNA testing was carried out with special specimen eg toothbrush, hair WITHOUT the consent signature of the owner of submitted specimen?

Okay!
Again. Making assumptions and coming for me won't get you no where..
The test was a result of child maintenance, and you think the guy who was trying to skive off paying child maintenance didn't consent to his sample being taken for a test??

2 Likes

Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 2:03pm On Nov 20, 2016
5minsmadness:

grin

Ok. No wahala.
Happy Sunday.
In this case it was his se.me.n though..
I'm talking too much now and becoming annoying..

Bye bye grin
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by ifyalways(f): 2:07pm On Nov 20, 2016
Captainbells:

Again. Making assumptions and coming for me won't get you no where..
The test was a result of child maintenance, and you think the guy who was trying to skive off paying child maintenance didn't consent to his sample being taken for a test??
hello, you were the one that jumped on my post o.

I no know you, no send you an definitely not coming for you.

My post was for bloggers who are so desperate for clicks that they come up with fake stories. Enjoy your day.
Re: Should I Tell My Husband That The Daughters He Loves So Much Don’t Belong To Him by Nobody: 2:10pm On Nov 20, 2016
ifyalways:

hello, you were the one that jumped on my post o.

I no know you, no send you an definitely not coming for you.

My post was for bloggers who are so desperate for clicks that they come up with fake stories. Enjoy your day.
I only made a comment and you made implications and assumptions and I thought I should clarify it..
I'm never this defensive..
You have a nice day..

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