Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

Op I see ur hubby as a man who loves risk taking...talk to him about U going back to work for safety purposes, should anything happen to one of his investment I.e lotto, MMM etc. If U start working it will help as a backup for d family .

Allow him,when he looses some substantial amount of money he will come back home to you

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

I think communication is lacking in your relationship.. You courted him for 6 years and yet, communication is an issue? I really don't understand ma'am. You both need to sit down, watch the beautiful stars and then talk. If he's not ready to initiate a conversation, please do. Through that, intentions and desires are made known.. What are your visions? What about his? How are you both working toward it? His current lifestyle shows of a man without a destination. You're a helper, help him go to the right path.
And again, being a full time housewife isn't cool. i mean, who does that in this century? You are here for a reason and your purpose in life isn't all about raising kids or mobbing the floor. Talk to your hubby about getting a job. You need to have your own priceless experience and touch lives in any little way you can. Time has gone when the female gender are been tied to the kitchen.
Wishing you a blissful life..

Being desperate for money with a well paid job is not a good thing if you ask me, but I don't think it's bad to have other means of income especially when you don't have to do much work. I think, you should let him know how you feel about it, have a heart to heart talk with him on the matter & see his reactions. If I were you, I will flaunt the idea that I'm scared for his health, stress, worries etc after all, YOLO


Secondly, I'd advise you revisit the issue of getting a job with him again. Being a full house wife isn't the best, no matter how rich or the amount of money that comes in monthly. If you have the qualification, pls ask him to permit you get a job no matter how small. If he's worried the job might be time consuming then take up a teaching job at least it's relatively okay. You can have time to take care of your family. And, if you don't have the qualification, look for a business to start up with his permission sha.

you courted your boyfriend for 6yrs now your husband and you want us to believe the things you complained about are new to you or you believed you can change him once you becomes his wife

if your concern is that you need a job then discuss it with him that you are tired of siting at home simple

sorry i just have to laugh,that ur hubby is covetous he cant be satisfied,be prayerful cos desperation can lead to crazy things

We've got a lot of 'marriage counselors' here.

talktonase:
Allow him,when he loses some substantial amount of money he will come back home to you

Then beats the hell out of her

A full housewife in 2016?

Madam, your hubby is covertly telling you to go find a job, that the responsibilities at home are burdensome.

Hence, his involvement in diverse sources of making cash.

I like these type of husbands that chase money with all their strength

I don't see any issue here.


In addition with the listed, some added at least 3 cooperatives, pension scheme, mortgage/estate/housing scheme, bank loan, fixed deposit, mutual funds, even ajo.



Remind me, what's the issue again?

sapien:
A full housewife in 2016?

Madam, your hubby is covertly telling you to go find a job, that the responsibilities at home is burdensome.

Hence, his involvement in diverse sources of making cash.

Thanks so much, that's how I feel too. Have talked to him about getting a job, though this might not happen any time soon as no one will be willing to employ a pregnant woman.

Luckily I have learnt a trade,will have to fall back on that, I hope my strength permits

Acidosis:
I don't see any issue here.


In addition with the listed, some added at least 3 cooperatives, pension scheme, mortgage/estate/housing scheme, bank loan, fixed deposit, mutual funds, even ajo.



Remind me, what's the issue again?

You mean you don't see anything wrong in Lotto?

fijiano202:
sorry i just have to laugh,that ur hubby is covetous he cant be satisfied,be prayerful cos desperation can lead to crazy things

That's my fear... so that he won't end up doing something crazy. Will have to go more on my knee to God. I feel so tired!

ammyluv2002:
Being desperate for money with a well paid job is not a good thing if you ask me, but I don't think it's bad to have other means of income especially when you don't have to do much work. I think, you should let him know how you feel about it, have a heart to heart talk with him on the matter & see his reactions. If I were you, I will flaunt the idea that I'm scared for his health, stress, worries etc after all, YOLO


Secondly, I'd advise you revisit the issue of getting a job with him again. Being a full house wife isn't the best, no matter how rich or the amount of money that comes in monthly. If you have the qualification, pls ask him to permit you get a job no matter how small. If he's worried the job might be time consuming then take up a teaching job at least it's relatively okay. You can have time to take care of your family. And, if you don't have the qualification, look for a business to start up with his permission sha.

I sure do have a qualification and i have discussed the issue of job with him, I learnt Catering also but my strength does not permit since I'm pregnant. My fear is for him not to get into anything crazy since he is so desperate.

I caught him first with Lotto which he apologized about and deleted the app from his phone, it was later I now saw the other ones he's into and he has downloaded the lotto app again on his other phone.

HenryDion:


I think communication is lacking in your relationship.. You courted him for 6 years and yet, communication is an issue? I really don't understand ma'am. You both need to sit down, watch the beautiful stars and then talk. If he's not ready to initiate a conversation, please do. Through that, intentions and desires are made known.. What are your visions? What about his? How are you both working toward it? His current lifestyle shows of a man without a destination. You're a helper, help him go to the right path.
And again, being a full time housewife isn't cool. i mean, who does that in this century? You are here for a reason and your purpose in life isn't all about raising kids or mobbing the floor. Talk to your hubby about getting a job. You need to have your own priceless experience and touch lives in any little way you can. Time has gone when the female gender are been tied to the kitchen.
Wishing you a blissful life..

I try as much as possible to communicate with him but alot of things are involved that I can't begin to say here. Think I will have to get a job or just be strong and go back to my Catering job.

I appreciate your advice.

From what I understand about serious gamblers, they are either very rich or very poor. There are no in-betweens.
Try and convince your husband to put some money in a joint account every month from his salary and whatever he makes from those other incomes and make sure he doesn't have much access to it, convince him it will be useful for your baby (during and post pregnancy) and your business(when you are ready to start it).
This is so that you have something substantial to hold on to just incase he decides to go "all-in" with his money and God forbid, it doesn't turn out so well.

Thank God your husband is into get help worldwide

Check my signature

Gambler-husband I'll tell you something, get used to it, he's not leaving that habit. ND hey, who 'earns good' yet gambles

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

Provided he is not into illegal things why worry, besides u shld be thinking abt how to help him out with coping with the rising cost of living. One source of income was never enough talk more of when we are in recession

E b lyk say u like hunger pass enjoyment..Man pikin dey hustle day and night to make sure u eat, u come nairaland dey complain. Pls, I have no advice for u than for u to divorce him.

asunnu:


I try as much as possible to communicate with him but alot of things are involved that I can't begin to say here. Think I will have to get a job or just be strong and go back to my Catering job.

I appreciate your advice.

Going back to your catering job is definitely a wise choice.. Perhaps if he see you becoming more ambitious, he will respect and cherish you the more thereby letting you into every phase of his life. Men love seeing their wife take the bull by the horn.. Keep pressing forward.

Stay at home mum is a No No, please get a Job. Your Husbands desire to make money and live a comfortable life is admirable only if he will struggle through other channels like doing businesses that will last a while, what will happen when MMM, and Ultimate Cycler crashes? He will use all his investments on Lotto. Talk to your husband about investing in things like Agriculture, Manufacturing etc. you could even start your own business and all. But please ensure you talk him out of these schemes because it wont last for ever and when it crashes Lotto will remain and GODforbid you know what lotto can turn a man's life into.

asunnu:

You mean you don't see anything wrong in Lotto?

He needs to drop that Lotto asap.

asunnu:


Thanks so much, that's how I feel too. Have talked to him about getting a job, though this might not happen any time soon as no one will be willing to employ a pregnant woman.

Luckily I have learnt a trade,will have to fall back on that, I hope my strength permits

Thank God you learnt a trade you could easily fall back on.

Going back to the trade, after delivery, would give you ample time to cater for and take care of the home front, rather than search for a private job.

I wish you a safe delivery in Jesus' name.

sapien:
Thank God you learnt a trade you could easily fall back on.

Going back to the trade, after delivery, would give you ample time to cater for and take care of the home front, rather than search for a private job.

I wish you a safe delivery in Jesus' name.

Amen in Jesus name.. Thanks abunch. God bless you.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm dy told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

You better go and open a seperate account sharply!