asunnu:


I try as much as possible to communicate with him but alot of things are involved that I can't begin to say here. Think I will have to get a job or just be strong and go back to my Catering job.

I appreciate your advice.

Please wait until your baby is pass 3 months to start work again. It would be unwise to return to work too quickly, lest something happen to your child. Where are you and your hubby based in location? I ask because your surroundings definitely determine some of this behavior. Is there a family responsibility he is attending? The two of you may need to relocate to lighten the burden for a while.

It is well, well I don't see anything wrong here in as much he provides for his family

emeraldknytt:
Maybe I'll think of what to say but this moment, I believe a good husband shouldn't make his wife a full house asset unless certain criteria set in such as child(ren) upbringing. Opinions differ, mine is just a speck of dust at a sea shore.

the fear of bet9ja and co is the beginning of wisdom

dingbang:
lol dingbang is a Chinese name. Not even close to what u think

so you know my thought!!!
Ding Bang.

Cheers bro

Just lotto n mmm u r complaining assuming he smokes,drink to stupor,beat u,patronize our olosho's then we will say u have a p,but with lotto n mmm u don't have any problem madam unless u wan to give him 1m dolls

sapien:
A full housewife in 2016?

Madam, your hubby is covertly telling you to go find a job, that the responsibilities at home are burdensome.

Hence, his involvement in diverse sources of making cash.

What is wrong with it?

ammyluv2002:
Being desperate for money with a well paid job is not a good thing if you ask me, but I don't think it's bad to have other means of income especially when you don't have to do much work. I think, you should let him know how you feel about it, have a heart to heart talk with him on the matter & see his reactions. If I were you, I will flaunt the idea that I'm scared for his health, stress, worries etc after all, YOLO


Secondly, I'd advise you revisit the issue of getting a job with him again. Being a full house wife isn't the best, no matter how rich or the amount of money that comes in monthly. If you have the qualification, pls ask him to permit you get a job no matter how small. If he's worried the job might be time consuming then take up a teaching job at least it's relatively okay. You can have time to take care of your family. And, if you don't have the qualification, look for a business to start up with his permission sha.

Not everyone has the qualifications and zeal to teach. Oh in 9ja..schoolchildren are in trouble.

dfrost:


What is wrong with it?

Everything, bro, everything.

Your wife wants to buy pampers, she waits till you get back from work.

Your wife wants to buy her sanitary towels, she waits for your return.

Your wife wants to buy matches and salt for cooking, she has to borrow from neighbours.

Moreover, your wife will be the chief gossip and narrator of every event that transpire in the vicinity and in your house.

How sensible is that?

The only thing I can detect from this topic is that if you don't do MMM you are a mugu. That one dey!! Fck MMM anything.

sapien:
Everything, bro, everything.

Your wife wants to buy pampers, she waits till you get back from work.

Your wife wants to buy her sanitary towels, she waits for your return.

Your wife wants to buy matches and salt for cooking, she has to borrow from neighbours.

Moreover, your wife will be the chief gossip and narrator of every event that transpire in the vicinity and in your house.

How sensible is that?

No d husband is suppose to drop an allowance either weekly or monthly and when she's about to run out of fund he reimburse nt like it's wen she wants to buy something he gives her money

janco:


Your husband is doing the right thing to think solutions to have financial freedom.
If he is poor, would you still love him? I am sure you will remind him that his mates are multimillionaires.
So keep a positive attitude and support him. After all he is your husband

As in eh.... I don't want to say she is a foolish wife but she leaves me no option.


the young man is busy working his arse off, trying to set up streams of residual income and his wife wants to become an obstacle. I think she is seeking for an excuse to call him "lazy man" tomorrow.

Don't worry it is called huzzle! Next trend pls

asunnu:


Please what's the different between bet9ja and lotto? The app I saw is WINLOT and I saw series of numbers scrambled on papers.

bet9ja is more dangerous pls. why? because the more he stakes the less he sees his money. Team z can beat team a without any prior announcement. Forecasting may not help every time. Unless he is not staking more than two to 3 games per a bet game. You don't need to know too much so that you won't use these info against him directly or indirectly. Look for a cool time to talk him out of his bad habits. That is his own imperfection traits. I trust you that you shall do a job on this with him. No fight , less argument because of the Girl in your womb o .. LOL

God please dont give me a wife with little ambition like the OP.

Yes your husband is trying his best to get the family to be financially free, still you are complaining. The only advice is to tell him to reduce risk hes taking and GO GET JOB....JOB

HenryDion:


I think communication is lacking in your relationship.. You courted him for 6 years and yet, communication is an issue? I really don't understand ma'am. You both need to sit down, watch the beautiful stars and then talk. If he's not ready to initiate a conversation, please do. Through that, intentions and desires are made known.. What are your visions? What about his? How are you both working toward it? His current lifestyle shows of a man without a destination. You're a helper, help him go to the right path.
And again, being a full time housewife isn't cool. i mean, who does that in this century? You are here for a reason and your purpose in life isn't all about raising kids or mobbing the floor. Talk to your hubby about getting a job. You need to have your own priceless experience and touch lives in any little way you can. Time has gone when the female gender are been tied to the kitchen.
Wishing you a blissful life..

QED!

Op, this guy has said it all.


Guy, take a stroll to the nearest bar and order any drink of your choice. The bill is on me.

sapien:
Everything, bro, everything.

Your wife wants to buy pampers, she waits till you get back from work. Keep money for such purposes.

Your wife wants to buy her sanitary towels, she waits for your return. Give her money for her upkeep.

Your wife wants to buy matches and salt for cooking, she has to borrow from neighbours. Buy them in bulk.

Moreover, your wife will be the chief gossip and narrator of every event that transpire in the vicinity and in your house. Says who? Do you have a practical example to share? Although I don't doubt you sha.

How sensible is that?

I agree with you on a first thought but also reason with me on the bolded.

Women will always do most things you quoted even if they are working. I'm against women working either. My colleague almost died because she insisted on coming to work even though she's pregnant and almost due. Her husband has a good job that can cater for them very well.

My oga, honestly women no suppose suffer at all. I salute those that work and cater for their wards. E no easy.

Leave him alone WIFE. That's what makes him happy

asunnu:


Have talked to him amidst tears and he promised to stop. He has been apologizing also, I pray he stops

I also pray that he does. Good luck to you

dfrost:


I agree with you on a first thought but also reason with me on the bolded.

Women will always do most things you quoted even if they are working. I'm against women working either. My colleague almost died because she insisted on coming to work even though she's pregnant and almost due. Her husband has a good job that can cater for them very well.

My oga, honestly women no suppose suffer at all. I salute those that work and cater for their wards. E no easy.

Lol.

Women aren't meant to suffer, but men are destined to work their asses off at work?

Most 21st century men want independent and working class women, who would assist financially in the home front, except for extremely rich men who can afford all their wives expenses a la - taking her shopping every weekend, buying her a car, going on vacation together, taking care of her siblings etc.

Moreover, married pregnant women are usually given maternity leave, so why should a woman who is due for delivery still be clamouring for work?

sparkleRed:


No d husband is suppose to drop an allowance either weekly or monthly and when she's about to run out of fund he reimburse nt like it's wen she wants to buy something he gives her money

That doesn't make sense, still.

Asides reimbursing her account, when she's running out of funds, what type of man will take delight in coming home everyday from work and seeing his wife watching Telemundo or Zeeworld?

Only an unambitious and dependent woman would even agree to being a full time house wife in this time and age.

At a point, wouldn't she get bored?

tomzman:

QED!

Op, this guy has said it all.


Guy, take a stroll to the nearest bar and order any drink of your choice. The bill is on me.

Lol.. thanks

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

/
If you are concerned, start looking for a job immediately.

When he enquires about the sudden and serious job-hunting,then tell him about your concerns as you already know where the family finance is heading with his gambling problems.

By the way, well-paying job in Nigeria today is an illusion because of the high risk of retrenchment that pervades in every sector. Why not have him start something on the side that you could be managing? Do you want to wait until his employment hits the rocks to start looking for alternatives. He is an employee. He is expendable. That should worry you more than his love for MMM and lotto.

In 2017, as companies audit their accounts, expect more news like this in Nigeria:
https://www.nairaland.com/3495780/ericsson-sacks-160-nigerian-workers

Now think about it: Does your husband have a good paying job?

\

ghostmist:
As in eh.... I don't want to say she is a foolish wife but she leaves me no option.


the young man is busy working his arse off, trying to set up streams of residual income and his wife wants to become an obstacle. I think she is seeking for an excuse to call him "lazy man" tomorrow.

Hasn't come to that?! I no blame you sef, na me wey bring my matter come Nairaland.. All these small small children sef. pscheew#

sapien:
That doesn't make sense, still.

Asides reimbursing her account, when she's running out of funds, what type of man will take delight in coming home everyday from work and seeing his wife watching Telemundo or Zeeworld?

Only an unambitious and dependent woman would even agree to being a full time house wife in this time and age.

At a point, wouldn't she get bored?

I don't have time for all those, I spend my time on more profitable things I.e books and all. I also have a trade I learnt that I also teach people but my present condition made me stop as I don't have the strength for now.

He made me stop the work I was doing because it was strenuous and it's a Lebanese company. So get your facts right before you judge. thanks

asunnu:


I don't have time for all those, I spend my time on more profitable things I.e books and all. I also have a trade I learnt that I also teach people but my present condition made me stop as I don't have the strength for now.

He made me stop the work I was doing because it was strenuous and it's a Lebanese company. So get your facts right before you judge. thanks

I wasn't judging you, Madam; I was only talking from a general perspective.

You are paranoid? Lol.

Try to understand your husband. You've not really listed anything illegal here.. Are these things causing him not to give you attention. Are you scared he might be doing something worst you don't know. Are you thinking he will graduate to something worst/illegal if care is not taken. Do you think he can anything for money.

is he from a poor background? Poverty is not good. If you've ever experienced it, you will be propelled to do anything legal and moral to be successful and save your future generations from the menace.

Keep communicating with him. Keep doing passion check on him to know if he's still taking his moral stand in the midst of his great passion to make money. Example of passion check. playfully test him with one illegal biz. Real intentions are display sometimes during play..If he sharpedly says 'mba, Olorun maje', he's still under control...If he falls for it like giving it a second thought, then you need to start taming his passion.

asunnu:
Dear Nairalanders, please advise a sister.
My marriage to my husband is just 13months and it's like I don't know him despite we courting for 6years before settling down.

My husband is so desperate (so to say) for money, he is into a lot of things I.e Lotto, MMM, get help, e.t.c that I'm not cool with. He has a well paid job, though I'm a stay home wife. Already told him he should let me know if the burden is too much on him so that I can get a job since he was the one that actually told me to stop work at the initial stage.

Please what's your take on it?

if you ain't married,take your advice and shove it down your ass...
meanwhile the only problem I see is you being jobless

misteryman:
Leave him alone WIFE. That's what makes him happy

O.k Sir, I hear you.

sapien:
I wasn't judging you, Madam; I was only talking from a general perspective.

You are paranoid? Lol.

Para Wetin?! If I hear, also making clarification especially from your post. Thanks

Papyrus411:


bet9ja is more dangerous pls. why? because the more he stakes the less he sees his money. Team z can beat team a without any prior announcement. Forecasting may not help every time. Unless he is not staking more than two to 3 games per a bet game. You don't need to know too much so that you won't use these info against him directly or indirectly. Look for a cool time to talk him out of his bad habits. That is his own imperfection traits. I trust you that you shall do a job on this with him. No fight , less argument because of the Girl in your womb o .. LOL

Lolz... thanks alot, I won't use it against him. He actually wants a boy and I want triplets (cover face).

HenryDion:


Am independent but single.. From the quoted, It's not all women that discourages their husband from tapping into opportunities and please, don't generalize it. Op feels concerned, she wants to be part of whatever deal the hubby is making cause they are in the race together. His engagements aren't a secret, but the wife not having a little glimpse of what's going on within will no doubt feel isolated and at some points, come to a false assumption. Like i said earlier, communication makes all the intentions and desires known.. If they were not having any issue via communication, this thread won't exist. Whatever you're doing, carry your wife along unless she doesn't care.

You have a point. Your opinion anyway.




The last time I carried a woman along in a risk decision business, she always crumble the whole thing.

Different stroke for different folks.

deedondavi:
Biko!! this MMM a Good Samaritan should explain in details how to go about it..... seems it's changing life's .

mail me