My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else - Romance - Nairaland
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| My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 8:07am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Hi guys I know nairaland ain't the perfect Place to come asking for advice but I have no one to confide to, am this kinda person that find it hard sharing personal issues with someone I know, When I read people write about their personal love life issues I find it very funny sha..lol.. Not knowing I'll one day face mine and be forced to share it. Been dating this girl for 3 years now am in the university, 400L while she's in her 300L presently, she's always cared and loved me undoubtedly since day 1, always had back in school both financially and others too and we've always had this plan for a future together, coz I strongly believe and know our love was real. The bond we had was just so strong, suddenly I had an issue with school which brought me back though. Sadly Had to start all over from 100L it hurts me so much, though all the time have been going through this dilemma, she's always tried encouraging me and pushed me not to give up on my dream. I was almost thinking so negative when I had this school ish, thought about killing myself thinking the world was over. But this lady stood by me and never gave up on me and convinced me that killing my self wouldn't help matters (I was really a mess then, like a HUGE mess) didn't go out much, had to stay in school a whole year preparing all over again for jamb nd all that, tho still attending lectures. Now, when I had this issue that was were my dreams started shattering, our future wasn't looking all bright anymore because now am starting all over again, when I'll be in my 100L she'll be in her 300L and on and on like that.. It really broke my heart, at some point she believes in me and tries to convince me things would be better and I'll definitely scale through, But most times there's just this little doubts that comes in, You Ladies are prone to marry early (and she's very cute) which is actually a huge A+, men have always been coming asking for her hand in marriage and she has always declined them.. But she ain't getting any younger, and has to get married someday, sadly she told me yesterday she really do love me so much and has always had my back always and supported me always and which is so true that she has just decided to give me some lil break so I can try sorting my self out and balancing my life and she has decided to agree to one of her suitors(the guy is quite close to her family/ he's financially stable too tho the guy has a lil kid sha I guess his a single dad) coz she's always told me about ppl asking for her hand in marriage, though they ain't getting married now, but at least she wants to face him, instead of pushing away all her suitors and in the future wen she graduates and am Still in school, it might not be easy for me to be financially stable easily, tho she begged me that Pls hope I wouldn't paint her as a bad person coz she really tried for me. I've just been really down since she told me this and it's really affecting me so much tho what she says is sadly the truth, Have just really built my life around her and she's just the only one I confined to in school when I have issues (coz am really this typa person who don't flows and share things easily with anyone, I kinda hv trust issues) don't really know how I'll cope when Am back to school, we leave close to each other in school, and she still really wants to be friends with me and wants to always support me too. Don't really know what to do right now I really do love her so much because she's an amazing person who has just been by my side through really hard times in school, it wont be easy starting Just as friends right now, I really do have a mild heart. Wish I could rewind the hands of the clock and correct the mistake I made that made me start all over again.. It's just really sad  Pls if I made a mistake with my typing, don't attack me.. Just really down now 34 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by UnknownT: 8:13am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Move on. She has tried for you, not all school relationships lead to marriage 348 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 8:13am On Dec 02, 2016 |
 isa 10 vs 27 don happen for you 23 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 8:15am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Sorry ehn That's why it's not advisable to build your whole life around a lady you're not sure you'll take to the altar Take it as an experience , learn from your mistakes and move on 95 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by joycesims(f): 8:17am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Go and hustle man! you'd definitely find love again  84 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by nely(m): 8:18am On Dec 02, 2016 |
You too go and marry someone else, she's only your girlfriend not your wife, There are to many problems this days in this country, for someone to disturb his self over women issue 206 Likes 9 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Khd95(m): 8:18am On Dec 02, 2016 |
How about u tell us d mistake that made u start all over again,sombody could learn from such mistake  .As for d girl,move on with life..if she is urs,she will come back to you,no matter ur status 35 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 8:19am On Dec 02, 2016 |
EmmzyWhite:Can you please explain better, read it but don't really get it sha 2 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Spacless(m): 8:20am On Dec 02, 2016 |
joceey: 29 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by RoyalGoat: 8:21am On Dec 02, 2016 |
I wish in my best wishes I can be a dot of what op is, give a damn! RoyalGoat 1 Like |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by joceey(m): 8:24am On Dec 02, 2016 |
My Guy ,he who believe he has a bright future has everything.....all her excuse no be excuse at all she is looking at your financial status now from a microscopic point of view towards the future... she fail to understand that a guy can still be in school and be a million..Pls don't give up on yourself that's th most important thing take care 89 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by photoshoot(m): 8:25am On Dec 02, 2016 |
ItsQuinn you see why it is good to check on your partners social media accounts once a while? Okay, I just read it, but still  4 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 8:31am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Khd95:Sorry I can't, just be careful in school not to find yourself with an ish that might make you have no choice than to start all over again. 7 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by banjicom(m): 8:33am On Dec 02, 2016 |
please can you let us know what really happened, why do u have 2 start over from 100L wen u are suppose to be in 400L now. Am just curious to know As for your girlfriend i will advice you to let her be and focus on yourself for now there is nothing much u can do in this situation bro. Please stop whining and take d bull by d horn, u might still end up marrying her if she start seeing positive changes in your life. please just put urself together life goes on. 16 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by LesbianBoy(m): 8:34am On Dec 02, 2016 |
The girl doesn't really love you like you thought 25 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Young03(m): 8:34am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Nwanne oburo ball eji me training ka ejI agba match u see ur life, u want to tie someone's daughter down why didn't u go into biz when ur schooling matter crashed to make moni come marry her 28 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 8:38am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Guys thanks for the advice, but it feels so sad going back to been just friends all over with someone you're really in love with, she called me this morning to ask how I was doing, tho not based on the issue, but she later brought it up that hope am not still thinking about what she told me yesterday. That at least we've been dating for 3 years and things went really well for both of us, and if we're meant to be in the future we might find ourselves dating again 6 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Melahou(m): 8:41am On Dec 02, 2016 |
If you think you have found the best then wait till you graduate and make money. The best you could do for her and yourself is to move on and wish her all the best 30 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 8:43am On Dec 02, 2016 |
banjicom:It was a malpractice ish, tried helping a sick friend out with a course but it didn't go out pretty well, had no choice but to go tk jamb and select a different course, though the school hasn't given their final judgment yet but I couldn't just continue and waste time/money paying school fees and tomorrow the judgement would be really bad . If they was really enough money I wanted to continue both courses so just incase the judgement is light at least I will have 2 degrees 12 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by LesbianBoy(m): 8:46am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Lol girls don't like to be seen as a bad person even when they are actually bad or doing something bad! If she actually goes ahead to marry the other person, if I were you i will stop being friends with her! Forget about being a "real" guy or a "mature" guy!  49 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by dotman4real007(m): 8:47am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Op for this recession you still dey think about girl!!! Girl!!! Girl!!! She don waka you self use it to your advantage to hustle get a job and school at the sametime no girl is worth dying for!!! They are all the same!!! No money no love!!! 28 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by gabinogem(m): 8:53am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Emotional problem of living... The worst problem on earth. For those that have heart to put up with this emotional ish, guard ur heart well. For we that have no heart...we thank God for that. Cheers. PS: handle ur education one day at a time. 10 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 9:00am On Dec 02, 2016 |
You are absolutely right. No money, no love. A man lost his wife during labour cause he had no money for blood transfusion. Before he rally round to borrow money, she died. A guy lost his girlfriend, who had malaria and typhoid and also malnourished, and she died of typhoid, when there was no money for proper treatment. A guy lost his girlfriend due to high bp, before he could rally round for. Money to take her to the hospital, she died on the way. So many scenarios like that, when money is not involved. So op, just move on and focus on your studies and making money by the side. I repeat no human being loves poverty. Do yourself a favour and make it. 53 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 9:06am On Dec 02, 2016 |
john1964:To be sincere with you sha - after letting her see you at your worst - she was never going to marry you. Truth be told, ever since your issues started, her relationship with you has been based on pity. She has a good heart, I give her that. You can keep her as a friend tho, hopefully she gets to divert funds from the husband-to-be towards funding your education. 65 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 9:07am On Dec 02, 2016 |
What did you read?  photoshoot: |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by sashishalom(f): 9:08am On Dec 02, 2016 |
She loves you no doubts... I guess the pressure is much too... Shez also having doubts about you guys.will it really work?..would my waiting be in vain??..do i trust him this much to wait?.... Give her the space she needs...she might come back... There are a lot of questions going on in her head..let her find answers to them herself...her decision might not be final.. Also,dont get too close to her again physically... just phone calls... 23 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by banjicom(m): 9:09am On Dec 02, 2016 |
john1964: the lord is your strenght my brother, just focus on yourself has i have said above. i know it hard losing someone u love but always know life doesn't end with her. just continue to be friends with her and don't change ur atitude so she won't see u as a weak person. you can also tell her about ur future plans too but don't depend on her anymore......if she is still willing to help u fine! and if she want to focus on her new relationship just try to let her be. But one thing is certain, u will always be in her♥heart♥ your success is what really matters 13 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by raziboi(m): 9:14am On Dec 02, 2016 |
john1964: one advice for you Bro. WE ARE MEN.... CHALLENGES CAN'T WIN .US... FORGET ABT HER THIS MOMENT AND MOVE ON..... THANK U. 10 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by DeLioncourt: 9:27am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Live on ma n*gga. Keep her as a friend...she's supportive. In truth, it wouldn't be very smart for her to wait for you...and you seem to understand this. So just let her go. You'll move on faster if you two decide to just be friends. You'll have someone familiar that you trust and you can talk to. And please, if you do become friends, don't make the mistake of trying to get her back or sleep with her. You'll just end up losing her. 14 Likes |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 10:23am On Dec 02, 2016 |
john1964: Dat yoke don comot 4 im neck. 1 Like |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by Nobody: 10:35am On Dec 02, 2016 |
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be. At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to. I mean where is the money?? You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet. Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing. Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?. You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it. You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you. You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now. Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle. You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it. In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there. And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties. At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago. To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment? 6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds. You are on chat with her always. And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days. Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of "Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken. You see we are always going to do this to ourselves. Written by @jaetomz What goes around... 389 Likes 99 Shares |
| Re: My Girlfriend Is Marrying Someone Else by john1964: 10:49am On Dec 02, 2016 |
Young03:I got admitted again merit list, so am starting again. So my schooling hasn't crashed 4 Likes 1 Share |
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