john1964:
Wow! You guys have been really amazing with your words, I really do appreciate. Thank you so much!
I guess I'll stick to you guys advice moving on and still been friends with her, and also not giving up on my self and also work on my success too

Please what little business that is profitable with time do you guys think/suggest one can start or do while in school?

john1964:
Wow! You guys have been really amazing with your words, I really do appreciate. Thank you so much!
I guess I'll stick to you guys advice moving on and still been friends with her, and also not giving up on my self and also work on my success too

Please what little business that is profitable with time do you guys think/suggest one can start or do while in school?

john1964:
Wow! You guys have been really amazing with your words, I really do appreciate. Thank you so much!
I guess I'll stick to you guys advice moving on and still been friends with her, and also not giving up on my self and also work on my success too

Please what little business that is profitable with time do you guys think/suggest one can start or do while in school?

joycesims:
Go and hustle man! you'd definitely find love again

john1964:
Hi guys I know nairaland ain't the perfect Place to come asking for advice but I have no one to confide to, am this kinda person that find it hard sharing personal issues with someone I know, When I read people write about their personal love life issues I find it very funny sha..lol..

Not knowing I'll one day face mine and be forced to share it. Been dating this girl for 3 years now am in the university, 400L while she's in her 300L presently, she's always cared and loved me undoubtedly since day 1, always had back in school both financially and others too and we've always had this plan for a future together, coz I strongly believe and know our love was real. The bond we had was just so strong, suddenly I had an issue with school which brought me back though.

Sadly Had to start all over from 100L it hurts me so much, though all the time have been going through this dilemma, she's always tried encouraging me and pushed me not to give up on my dream.

I was almost thinking so negative when I had this school ish, thought about killing myself thinking the world was over. But this lady stood by me and never gave up on me and convinced me that killing my self wouldn't help matters (I was really a mess then, like a HUGE mess) didn't go out much, had to stay in school a whole year preparing all over again for jamb nd all that, tho still attending lectures.

Now, when I had this issue that was were my dreams started shattering, our future wasn't looking all bright anymore because now am starting all over again, when I'll be in my 100L she'll be in her 300L and on and on like that..

It really broke my heart, at some point she believes in me and tries to convince me things would be better and I'll definitely scale through, But most times there's just this little doubts that comes in, You Ladies are prone to marry early (and she's very cute) which is actually a huge A+, men have always been coming asking for her hand in marriage and she has always declined them.. But she ain't getting any younger, and has to get married someday, sadly she told me yesterday she really do love me so much and has always had my back always and supported me always and which is so true that she has just decided to give me some lil break so I can try sorting my self out and balancing my life and she has decided to agree to one of her suitors(the guy is quite close to her family/ he's financially stable too tho the guy has a lil kid sha I guess his a single dad) coz she's always told me about ppl asking for her hand in marriage, though they ain't getting married now, but at least she wants to face him, instead of pushing away all her suitors and in the future wen she graduates and am Still in school, it might not be easy for me to be financially stable easily, tho she begged me that Pls hope I wouldn't paint her as a bad person coz she really tried for me.

I've just been really down since she told me this and it's really affecting me so much tho what she says is sadly the truth, Have just really built my life around her and she's just the only one I confined to in school when I have issues (coz am really this typa person who don't flows and share things easily with anyone, I kinda hv trust issues) don't really know how I'll cope when Am back to school, we leave close to each other in school, and she still really wants to be friends with me and wants to always support me too. Don't really know what to do right now I really do love her so much because she's an amazing person who has just been by my side through really hard times in school, it wont be easy starting Just as friends right now, I really do have a mild heart.

Wish I could rewind the hands of the clock and correct the mistake I made that made me start all over again.. It's just really sad

Pls if I made a mistake with my typing, don't attack me.. Just really down now

john1964:
Hi guys I know nairaland ain't the perfect Place to come asking for advice but I have no one to confide to, am this kinda person that find it hard sharing personal issues with someone I know, When I read people write about their personal love life issues I find it very funny sha..lol..

Not knowing I'll one day face mine and be forced to share it. Been dating this girl for 3 years now am in the university, 400L while she's in her 300L presently, she's always cared and loved me undoubtedly since day 1, always had back in school both financially and others too and we've always had this plan for a future together, coz I strongly believe and know our love was real. The bond we had was just so strong, suddenly I had an issue with school which brought me back though.

Sadly Had to start all over from 100L it hurts me so much, though all the time have been going through this dilemma, she's always tried encouraging me and pushed me not to give up on my dream.

I was almost thinking so negative when I had this school ish, thought about killing myself thinking the world was over. But this lady stood by me and never gave up on me and convinced me that killing my self wouldn't help matters (I was really a mess then, like a HUGE mess) didn't go out much, had to stay in school a whole year preparing all over again for jamb nd all that, tho still attending lectures.

Now, when I had this issue that was were my dreams started shattering, our future wasn't looking all bright anymore because now am starting all over again, when I'll be in my 100L she'll be in her 300L and on and on like that..

It really broke my heart, at some point she believes in me and tries to convince me things would be better and I'll definitely scale through, But most times there's just this little doubts that comes in, You Ladies are prone to marry early (and she's very cute) which is actually a huge A+, men have always been coming asking for her hand in marriage and she has always declined them.. But she ain't getting any younger, and has to get married someday, sadly she told me yesterday she really do love me so much and has always had my back always and supported me always and which is so true that she has just decided to give me some lil break so I can try sorting my self out and balancing my life and she has decided to agree to one of her suitors(the guy is quite close to her family/ he's financially stable too tho the guy has a lil kid sha I guess his a single dad) coz she's always told me about ppl asking for her hand in marriage, though they ain't getting married now, but at least she wants to face him, instead of pushing away all her suitors and in the future wen she graduates and am Still in school, it might not be easy for me to be financially stable easily, tho she begged me that Pls hope I wouldn't paint her as a bad person coz she really tried for me.

I've just been really down since she told me this and it's really affecting me so much tho what she says is sadly the truth, Have just really built my life around her and she's just the only one I confined to in school when I have issues (coz am really this typa person who don't flows and share things easily with anyone, I kinda hv trust issues) don't really know how I'll cope when Am back to school, we leave close to each other in school, and she still really wants to be friends with me and wants to always support me too. Don't really know what to do right now I really do love her so much because she's an amazing person who has just been by my side through really hard times in school, it wont be easy starting Just as friends right now, I really do have a mild heart.

Wish I could rewind the hands of the clock and correct the mistake I made that made me start all over again.. It's just really sad

Pls if I made a mistake with my typing, don't attack me.. Just really down now

joycesims:
Go and hustle man! you'd definitely find love again

john1964:

It was a malpractice ish, tried helping a sick friend out with a course but it didn't go out pretty well, had no choice but to go tk jamb and select a different course, though the school hasn't given their final judgment yet but I couldn't just continue and waste time/money paying school fees and tomorrow the judgement would be really bad . If they was really enough money I wanted to continue both courses so just incase the judgement is light at least I will have 2 degrees

Ariel20:


Not everyone is as little minded as you are.

@Op..leave her for now & face your studies. She'd help you in the future so keep as a friend. All the best in life and please no malpractice again.

CorGier:

To be sincere with you sha - after letting her see you at your worst - she was never going to marry you. Truth be told, ever since your issues started, her relationship with you has been based on pity. She has a good heart, I give her that.
You can keep her as a friend tho, hopefully she gets to divert funds from the husband-to-be towards funding your education.

Amelian:
You are absolutely right. No money, no love.
A man lost his wife during labour cause he had no money for blood transfusion. Before he rally round to borrow money, she died.
A guy lost his girlfriend, who had malaria and typhoid and also malnourished, and she died of typhoid, when there was no money for proper treatment.
A guy lost his girlfriend due to high bp, before he could rally round for. Money to take her to the hospital, she died on the way.
So many scenarios like that, when money is not involved.
So op, just move on and focus on your studies and making money by the side.
I repeat no human being loves poverty. Do yourself a favour and make it.

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

john1964:

Sorry I can't, just be careful in school not to find yourself with an ish that might make you have no choice than to start all over again.

Ujuhot:
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties.The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.

At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age. So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly. To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23. And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands in to many things hoping for good. All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls. When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies. Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.

Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back. Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship. Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her. And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well". Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.

You have to be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself. She was talking to the guy a long time before now.

Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played. Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.

In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already). I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend. No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about. And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and abroad. Can life be more unfair at this moment?

6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become. You are one of the happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by. Of course, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave. She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.

You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there chats seem more like interview. And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.

You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.

Written by @jaetomz


What goes around...

Amelian:
You are absolutely right. No money, no love.
A man lost his wife during labour cause he had no money for blood transfusion. Before he rally round to borrow money, she died.
A guy lost his girlfriend, who had malaria and typhoid and also malnourished, and she died of typhoid, when there was no money for proper treatment.
A guy lost his girlfriend due to high bp, before he could rally round for. Money to take her to the hospital, she died on the way.
So many scenarios like that, when money is not involved.
So op, just move on and focus on your studies and making money by the side.
I repeat no human being loves poverty. Do yourself a favour and make it.

john1964:
Hi guys I know nairaland ain't the perfect Place to come asking for advice but I have no one to confide to, am this kinda person that find it hard sharing personal issues with someone I know, When I read people write about their personal love life issues I find it very funny sha..lol..

Not knowing I'll one day face mine and be forced to share it. Been dating this girl for 3 years now am in the university, 400L while she's in her 300L presently, she's always cared and loved me undoubtedly since day 1, always had back in school both financially and others too and we've always had this plan for a future together, coz I strongly believe and know our love was real. The bond we had was just so strong, suddenly I had an issue with school which brought me back though.

Sadly Had to start all over from 100L it hurts me so much, though all the time have been going through this dilemma, she's always tried encouraging me and pushed me not to give up on my dream.

I was almost thinking so negative when I had this school ish, thought about killing myself thinking the world was over. But this lady stood by me and never gave up on me and convinced me that killing my self wouldn't help matters (I was really a mess then, like a HUGE mess) didn't go out much, had to stay in school a whole year preparing all over again for jamb nd all that, tho still attending lectures.

Now, when I had this issue that was were my dreams started shattering, our future wasn't looking all bright anymore because now am starting all over again, when I'll be in my 100L she'll be in her 300L and on and on like that..

It really broke my heart, at some point she believes in me and tries to convince me things would be better and I'll definitely scale through, But most times there's just this little doubts that comes in, You Ladies are prone to marry early (and she's very cute) which is actually a huge A+, men have always been coming asking for her hand in marriage and she has always declined them.. But she ain't getting any younger, and has to get married someday, sadly she told me yesterday she really do love me so much and has always had my back always and supported me always and which is so true that she has just decided to give me some lil break so I can try sorting my self out and balancing my life and she has decided to agree to one of her suitors(the guy is quite close to her family/ he's financially stable too tho the guy has a lil kid sha I guess his a single dad) coz she's always told me about ppl asking for her hand in marriage, though they ain't getting married now, but at least she wants to face him, instead of pushing away all her suitors and in the future wen she graduates and am Still in school, it might not be easy for me to be financially stable easily, tho she begged me that Pls hope I wouldn't paint her as a bad person coz she really tried for me.

I've just been really down since she told me this and it's really affecting me so much tho what she says is sadly the truth, Have just really built my life around her and she's just the only one I confined to in school when I have issues (coz am really this typa person who don't flows and share things easily with anyone, I kinda hv trust issues) don't really know how I'll cope when Am back to school, we leave close to each other in school, and she still really wants to be friends with me and wants to always support me too. Don't really know what to do right now I really do love her so much because she's an amazing person who has just been by my side through really hard times in school, it wont be easy starting Just as friends right now, I really do have a mild heart.

Wish I could rewind the hands of the clock and correct the mistake I made that made me start all over again.. It's just really sad

Pls if I made a mistake with my typing, don't attack me.. Just really down now

Op u are not ready for marriage nah, why will this innocent lady wait for you till eternity when u are not even ready, what of if u fail to marry her in the future ? she has sacrifice a lot for you already, women are Like flower and aged like a burning flame,
haba this is something worth celebrating... u will forever feel important... relax... attend the wedding if she invited or surprise her if u are not invited, attend the wedding with a very good looking attractive female friend... dress smartly ur dressing should kill the show, made her feel jealous of you once again, flirt happily as if u won lottery ticket. don't show any sign of grievance, move on with ur life... God has something good in store for u, it is written someone will snatch ur girlfriend from u as a wife and u will also snatch someone girl friend as ur wife... that's karma. never promise marriage to lady when u are not too sure

john1964:

Can you please explain better, read it but don't really get it sha

Amelian:
You are absolutely right. No money, no love.
A man lost his wife during labour cause he had no money for blood transfusion. Before he rally round to borrow money, she died.
A guy lost his girlfriend, who had malaria and typhoid and also malnourished, and she died of typhoid, when there was no money for proper treatment.
A guy lost his girlfriend due to high bp, before he could rally round for. Money to take her to the hospital, she died on the way.
So many scenarios like that, when money is not involved.
So op, just move on and focus on your studies and making money by the side.
I repeat no human being loves poverty. Do yourself a favour and make it.