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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child (3584 Views)
How To Prevent The Boy Child From Sexual Abuse / In Response To A Previous Thread Created By Amara Okafor / Horrible Plight Of A Single Woman (2) (3) (4)
Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 7:03pm On Nov 26, 2016 |
I am impressed you noticed the world does not recognise challenges facing males. Where you fall short is your lack of concern. You tow the Nigerian line of ridiculing to correct. The word Ridiculing used here is just a fancy euphemism for Insult. I will assume you asked your self why males behave like we do. What answer did you get? You focus on the How. The key to understanding a situation is the Why. So what do you think the Why is? The Why is not a lack of Boy Child Day. Rather, it is the attitude your letter put across concerning the Boy Child. The Boy Child is just as vulnerable as the Girl Child but you failed to recognise this in your post despite you being a male. You dismissed it to immaturity. It is not. The Boy Child acts these ways due to a lack of purpose-built attention. This attention can not be prayed into existence. The effects of the lack of attention can not be wished away. From your piece, it is clear you'll make the same mistake most parents make with their male kids. As a reference frame, to be an actor, you practiced a lot. An Engineer/Doctor passed a tonne of courses (both academic and professional) to be fit to practice. Conversely, what training have parents, yourself inclusive, passed to be a parent to a boy/girl? How many books on parenting have you read? How many books on age and gender sensitive psychology have you read? How versed are you in the pattern of development of the male/female brain? There is a lot to raising kids. What most parents do is Wash-Rinse-Repeat. They do to their kids what they enjoyed their parents did to them. Stuff they had done to them by their parents that they didn't like, they don't do to their kids. This method grossly hinders the proper development of the male. The females under the same circumstances will fare better because there are lots of materials on girl child nurturing. There are government and feminists inputs that parents or society can source from (sometimes unconsciously) to guide the female while the males are left to fluke it. Inputs from the media are terrible as well. Even cartoons depict subtle violence against men plus a dose of emasculation of the male. For example, a cartoon showing a debate scene between a boy and a girl must end with the girl winning or being violent with the boy. She may shove him, slap his head, call him a jerk etc. In addition, most movies and TV commercials are misandric. Let's take the movie 300 as an instance. Right at the beginning when the black messanger came to deliver the message, he was having a normal conversation with Mr 300. All of a sudden, his queen came from no where and used the word Idiot (or stupid) on him (the messanger). This her action was partly the reason for the male on male violence that ensued. In fact, she greenlighted the violence. I bet 99% of the people that died in the war were men! This manipulation and male dumb-down is not foreign only. It's in your profession as well. Name one home video or sit come where the male wasn't ridiculed. There must be an Usman or Okon that the Oga or his wife will shout at to open the gate. The Usman will then walk like a baboon to go open the gate thus disgracing the whole gender. Even if Onga or Semo or Indomie or whatever is to be advertised, it will depict the female eating like a human being and the male swallowing and finger licking like an...in fact... The one that gets under my skin is the sitcom The Johnsons. Spiff! Okay how are people like Spiff auditioned? Do the producers say "okay we will need an imb.ecile and it must be a male imb.ecile. We don't want a female imb.ecile because we don't want bad role models for the girl child. Please find me a male that can mumu pra pra. Okay Spiff, na you? Fine boy like you? Oya mumu let's see if your mumu has enough experience to be the chosen one. Feel free to add a touch (or hand) of individuality" The target audience of these shows are males of developing ages. Since TV is very influential (that's why you are popular to begin with) how do you expect the young males that watch this to behave? The implication of this as it concerns the male child is the chances of failing is higher than that of succeeding. Contrary to what many think, failures know they are failures. They know! Their sense of pride diminishes. Consequently, they try to get back that sense of pride. Keep in mind, this sense of pride is not "male pride" or ego. It is thesame pride quota that is in the female. It's the pride quota every human have. It is the same pride quota that will make a 5yr old child embarrassed if they get scolded by their parent while before their classmates. It is the same sense of pride that makes us all look in the mirror before leaving our houses. It is what makes us wear clothes instead of going naked. Bottom line is, no one likes to be in an embarrassing situation. The problem is society has demonised the "lack of sense of pride" effect of the male. Thus, we all become unforgiving towards the male child. Recently, a young black male was killed in the US and Obama's comment on it impressed me. He said these boys didn't do stuff worse that what he did when he was young, the difference is society was more forgiving back then. If Ms Cucumber were a male of the same age with the same circumstances, the DSS would have raided his house by now and it will not be the end of his ordeal because there will be vegetarians from all over the world calling for THE FULL GROWN MAN THAT WAS AWARE OF HIS ACTIONS to be charged with se.xually assaulting an innocent vegetable in cold blood. These days, jungle justice and shaming language are used to attempt to correct the male child. You even used the latter in your letter. The effect is, you will push the male child away. He won't tell you his reasons for fear of being shamed thus, we will all lose the only other means of understanding the male. The 1st option is for us to read it up but we don't read. Clearly, the reason why some males act like that is a lack of sense of pride. It is linked to poverty and poor education. When society erodes the male pride, it gets to that point the male MUST attempt to get that pride quota back. To do this, he uses his maleness. What is maleness? Basically, maleness is the reason why we have planes, skyscrapers, education, computers, internet, crude oil, running water, medicine, government etc. It is just that in this case, the emasculated male uses his maleness for evil. It is all he's got left and he wasn't trained on the positive ways of using it or he wasn't given a chance to use it for good. What does it take to insult, pick a gun, design a bomb, adulterate drugs, put plastic in rice, call women names (so they can come to his level), be violent etc. If you notice, the drive scientists have is the same drive hardened criminals have - they don't give up. When next you see a male going astray, bring him close and advise him. Put him on a scholarship. Point him in the right direction. Let him know his is just as important as the female. Let him know his life is worth as much as that of the female. Put him on a trade. Teach him how to fish as that is the sole source to getting that sense of pride that's the building block of a well rounded male. In addition, intervene when you get a movie script that depicts men and boys in bad light. Put forward materials that speak about the ills of females insulting males. Raise your daughters to respect men and boys. Raise your daughters to not insult a male just because he is of little means. Enlighten the public that men and boys are not defacto imb.eciles for movie props. Our depiction as being foo.ls is not supposed to be the main entertainment theme for the masses. Women won't do it for us. Linda Ikeji has a Teach-How-To-Fish scheme aimed at only females which is funded by money she makes from both genders. The president's wife has hers and again, it is funded by public money being realised from both genders. Your daughter is probably drafting one. So, you, which male-help scheme are you working on other than male bashing? Women advice young ladies on the art of manipulating a man (e.g. 300) or the art of seduction. Older women give younger ladies wisdom. Older men don't advise us on how to know when we are being manipulated by women. Older men won't give us jobs. They would rather shame us. Look around you. Chances are, everything you see that was not invented by GOD was invented (and are still being maintained) by males. Therefore, imagine the fate of a society that chooses to ignore the unique developmental challenges of the Boy Child. I am not asserting males will act right when they have money. Rather my point is, it will be difficult for a male with a legit and decent revenue stream to be a menace to society. cc Ishilove Lalasticlala RoyalRoy 31 Likes 10 Shares
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Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 7:10pm On Nov 26, 2016 |
OK |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by stan241(m): 7:28pm On Nov 26, 2016 |
ok |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by talktonase(m): 7:39pm On Nov 26, 2016 |
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Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 12:56pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
Great piece Articles like these help remind me why Nairaland is a great site Nb I don't see the correlation of the third pix to your message though. You might be a humanist but you are also selling your self short by that identity tag 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 1:06pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
FredN: I put up that 3rd meme in response to a portion of RMD's letter that hinged on religion and prayer n things. There's this meme I saw on IG one time. Basically, it suggests DONT PRAY FOR THINGS THAT REQUIRES COMMON SENSE TO SOLVE. I had to paraphrase there because I can't find the meme. Next time I'll save such memes just in case. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 1:07pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
FredN: How do you mean? |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 2:59pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
HumanistMike: Ok 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by AngelsAndStars(m): 3:43pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
great. but op if we were treated like females trust me we'd become pussies. we'd whine like the white males do. I see life as a war, I have been made strong by being neglected. I am hard who will bear the result? the female after all. it's give and take. there will be action, there will be judgement and by then I know no emotions. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 4:08pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
AngelsAndStars: Okay, how how do you reckon males should be treated? |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by AngelsAndStars(m): 4:24pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
HumanistMike:hard. like it's now. we need soft and hard for a balance. there's always need for opposite sides of any phenomenon |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 4:28pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
More men should tell us how important this is to them. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Babysho(m): 4:49pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
HumanistMike: I don't think I've read a better piece than this since I was born. Did you draft this yourself sir? 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 4:58pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
Babysho: I sure did Sir. Thanks for the compliment. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Babysho(m): 5:05pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
HumanistMike: If I understand this write up of yours, you are saying that the Male child has already been given a story; one filled with neglect, one where it is okay for male child to be stupid and act as he wants- but the major solution to all those challenges there is to eradicate poverty in that nation. Poverty leads to illiteracy and illiteracy leads to stupidity. A good example would be USA in contrast to Iraq/Nigeria. You wouldn't see an American Male child getting involved in acts of terrorism because he KNOWS too well that he should channel his "need to protect his pride" through creative thinking and acquiring wealth legally. Unlike Nigeria where the Male Children especially from the North are potential monarch rapers and terrorist because they have no idea of how to channel that 'Maleness' into productivity because they've seen their elder one's go into it, they've seen it on TV. Poverty is the Main Engine of Male Child Waywardness. There are several other factors that affect the Male Child's behaviors. Like the parenting skills and also like you suggested, the things they, we see on the TV. It affects the rich ones the most. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by CivilzedTyger(m): 5:11pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
By Allah! This is the real gender equality |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 5:12pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
AngelsAndStars: Please what do you mean by "hard"? |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 5:53pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
Babysho: You have a point but it is deeper than that. I am a Men's Rights Advocate so I know a lot about these things. You see, the feminist have a plot for women to be in major positions of power and subjugate the male. They know it will be difficult so they hatched a plan. The plan is to infiltrate the media, education, government etc. Through these points, they spew male hate and emasculation materials. This is done so the male will be easier to dominate. When males drop out of school, can't communicate properly, can't act well in public, have poor hygiene, fear the female, etc it will make the male less qualified for good jobs and good positions. It also will make the male less likely to want to compete with the female. So it's more like the female running unopposed, kind of. Most Hollywood materials are misandric. So are most sit coms and TV commercials. The education focuses on the girl child. There are more female degree holders in the US and UK now. The only academic disciplines where males dominate are in STEM. So what did the feminists do? They have put up scholarship schemes in STEM courses for the female child only in a bid for the females to overtake the males. Note that the government (feminist's puppet) are not interested in why males are dropping out of school. It is not important to them. Women own the government. Divorce, crime, immigration, workplace harassment etc all favours women. The plot is to render as many men as possible voteless. Any man convicted of a felony loses his right to vote. Also, more men die in the workplace and in wars. Therefore, women constitute the bulk of the voting block. Consequently, women will determine who rules; who becomes president. As it is in the US now, if all women vote for a particular candidate, that candidate will win since the eligible female voters outnumber that of the males. That is why you hear politicians say things like "free this and that for females only if I'm elected", "if your wife slaps you, you should kneel down and beg for forgiveness because it's not domestic violence. It just means you are a jerk". The politicians can't risk not appeasing the female voting block. That's why everyone is surprised Trump won cus him no send women. What happened was despite, Hillary's tactics of making the female voters hate Trump, she forgot that women hate women. All in all, Hillary's plan would have worked if not for the Electoral College. So here in Nigeria, we don't think. All we do is copy. We have copied their chivalry and TV script without knowing the Why. This is the reason why job creation and literacy alone won't stop the effemination/dumb-down of men in Nigeria. After all, rich kids and big men fall for the brainwashing too. What will stem the tide is proper education. Not the type gotten in schools alone, but the type gotten from awareness. The type gotten from male-help sites like avoiceformen.com. Youtubers like Barbarossa (I probably spelled that wrong) and Paul Elam etc. I know this is a long piece but there a lot to things than meet the eye. Knowledge is not in schools although school is very important. Knowledge is out there. It is this knowledge that will open your eyes to the manipulation we all are being subjected to. School can make you intelligent but knowledge will make you aware and wise. 6 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by AngelsAndStars(m): 6:47pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
HumanistMike:less emotional |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Fkforyou(m): 7:23pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
OP....you writing is very impressive, it seems like what Rollo Tomassi would write, thumbs up. Time and time again I have also see this scenario play out even right here on Nairaland.... You'll hear something like; "A real mam does not do this, a real man does not do that" mind you, this is coming from a 14/15 year old girl who doesn't know her left from right..o. Another common one is; "A real man does not hit a woman no matter what she does even if she hits him,like seriously does that seem fair?" Don't get me wrong it's not like I'm supporting violence, it's just that you never/hardly hear things like " A real woman does not hit/abuse anyone whether man/woman" To make matters worst you'll see a man abusing his fellow man for the sake of woman even right here on Nairaland. It's like we're being programmed to place more value on women more than we put on ourselves. Don't get me wrong it's good to respect women but not at the expense of our own self respect. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 8:09pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
AngelsAndStars: There's nothing wrong about having and showing emotions. Anything contrary to this is abuse. Emotional abuse. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 8:11pm On Dec 12, 2016 |
Fkforyou: Well said man. Thanks for the compliment. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by JhyMedex: 12:18am On Dec 13, 2016 |
HumanistMike:Cld u help me wit a link to d RMD article?.. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Crieff(m): 11:12pm On Mar 28, 2017 |
Hi HumanistMike, I read your piece and I get where you're coming from. I have often wondered, and for a very long time too, the seeming collusion of silence and neglect of the boy child. I am acutely aware of the gradual and unobtrusive emasculation of the male folk in popular media and the overall "relegation" for want of a more apt word, of the male gender. And yes, the neglect of society and the silence of the inputs of father figures, balanced, wholesome and sound father figures are all contributory to the prevalence of this de-masculining. I see this when a female is employed in a particular post just because she is female and not on merit. I see it in the feminized face of every day commodities' adverts, it is present in movies too but perhaps , the loudest of it is the silenced voice of the boy child, and by extension, the male gender. I believe this is not about gender supremacy. I have always believed and held the two gender to be equal. I have never for once believed in the superiority of the male over the female or vice-versa for that matter. Personally, I wonder why bonding amongst male is not emphasized strongly enough. I am a Christian. I wonder sometimes what the Men's fellowship of churches do apart from talk about money or marital relationships. I wonder where the vast horde of fatherless men are expected to get validation from. The street? Gangs? Cults? Alcohol? From men with a warped, skewed or twisted outlook on life? Men like Kashamu BuruSomething - that drug baron oaf senator from Ogun state, Dino? Rappers or even men like RMD, lover boys? You observe a typical Sunday, the population of women in churches is more than men and that is definitely with a significant difference. You wonder what the churches are doing in getting these men to church? Will they continue to joke around the absence of men in churches? Do they think that the consequences of the failure of men's absence in the church is limited to the church? That it will not spread to the family, to leadership, to finance, to their relationships, their work, their community? Yes, we should help men as much as they can nor should they refuse to help women because they are female but rather because we can help at that particular point in time. In the same vein, the development of the girl child should not be at the expense of the boy child too. However, do not let this contaminate the clarity of the mind of what it is really about. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 5:15am On Mar 29, 2017 |
Crieff: Nice point sir. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by HumanistMike(m): 5:27pm On Mar 29, 2017 |
Lalasticlala pls do the needful. |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 4:52pm On Mar 30, 2017 |
The boy child is never neglected. They get all the love, support and independence needed for intellectual and moral growth from their parents especially the mum, far better than the girl child. So I don't support this write up |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Kondomatic(m): 5:42am On Mar 31, 2017 |
Hipsofagoddess:Boys get love from parents more than the girl child? Whoever sold this lie to you must be the same guy that managed to convince a blind man that he needs sunglasses. A smart liar cum trader he is. 3 Likes |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 1:15pm On Mar 31, 2017 |
Kondomatic: Keep lying to yourself |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Kondomatic(m): 1:30pm On Mar 31, 2017 |
Hipsofagoddess:You are the one that has been lying irresponsibly here 1 Like |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by Nobody: 1:34pm On Mar 31, 2017 |
Kondomatic: I don't like arguing so I'll leave you to your opinion and stick to mine |
Re: Response To RMD On The Plight Of The Boy Child by filani(m): 6:44pm On Mar 31, 2017 |
HumanistMike: @ HumanistMike Truth sir !!! And as you noted the copycat syndrome is bringing same to naija . It is not as full blown as it is in the western world but with every year it gets a little more visible for those who have eyes to see. I am a follower of Rollo Tomassi Blog , The Rational male( www.RationalMale.com) & there is nothing you have said here that I have not read on his blog or blogs he references. Indeed we look the Men like him becos as you said the knowledge that our generation of men and those coming behind us need will not be found in a classroom, it will be up to us to learn the needed lessons and teach all males within our sphere of influence in our own little corners of the world. I am doing my little bit, keep doing yours ![]() 1 Like |
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