My husband doesn't care about me or love me,he told me and shows it through his actions. Chat with different girls at will,cheated before but am not sure if he's still cheating as I stopped checking his phones. He has always being like this while we were courting but not really this obvious. Am confused as I don't know how to continue in a loveless marriage. I have two kids already and I don't have a job,its not being easy getting a job. We sleep in separate rooms also. I don't know what to do stay in a loveless marriage, don't know if leaving the marriage ll help either. He doesn't simply care at all

ifemola:
My husband doesn't care about me or love me,he told me and shows it through his actions. Chat with different girls at will,cheated before but am not sure if he's still cheating as I stopped checking his phones. He has always being like this while we were courting but not really this obvious. Am confused as I don't know how to continue in a loveless marriage. I have two kids already and I don't have a job,its not being easy getting a job. We sleep in separate rooms also. I don't know what to do stay in a loveless marriage, don't know if leaving the marriage ll help either. He doesn't simply care at all

Number one offence is to check ur hubby phone, that will make you loose confidence in him and thereafter generate to hatre, so, show more love as ever before, dress to impress him, give him more good food, i tell you, you will win him back, today girls loves married men, so ur husband is not alone...............

makelove2m:


Number one offence is to check ur hubby phone, that will make you loose confidence in him and thereafter generate to hatre, so, show more love as ever before, dress to impress him, give him more good food, i tell you, you will win him back, today girls loves married men, so ur husband is not alone...............

thanks am 26 .I dress really nice, cook good food. I tried to take him out on his birthday but he refused. He's social with girls outside but with me its different. Truth is he really don't see anything good in me. When I was pregnant he complained I was too ugly, he never compliment but criticize.

ifemola:
My husband doesn't care about me or love me,he told me and shows it through his actions. Chat with different girls at will,cheated before but am not sure if he's still cheating as I stopped checking his phones. He has always being like this while we were courting but not really this obvious. Am confused as I don't know how to continue in a loveless marriage. I have two kids already and I don't have a job,its not being easy getting a job. We sleep in separate rooms also. I don't know what to do stay in a loveless marriage, don't know if leaving the marriage ll help either. He doesn't simply care at all

please don't just view...help a sister in need of advice...its really frustrating

makelove2m:


Number one offence is to check ur hubby phone, that will make you loose confidence in him and thereafter generate to hatre, so, show more love as ever before, dress to impress him, give him more good food, i tell you, you will win him back, today girls loves married men, so ur husband is not alone...............

Typical male comment. She should start to worship him because he cheated, mtcheew.

ifemola:
please don't just view...help a sister in need of advice...its really frustrating

Does he atleast care about his kids, is he the type that would still pay their fees after you leave? You should be happy you are sleeping in different rooms, let him have fun, while you try to look for a job. The bible already gave adultery as the only grounds for divorce, I don't know how women can still be interested in pleasing a man who's cheating on them. Stop wasting your time trying to be a better wife, he's the one that needs to be a better husband.

Giddyperson:

Does he atleast care about his kids, is he the type that would still pay their fees after you leave? You should be happy you are sleeping in different rooms, let him have fun, while you try to look for a job. The bible already gave adultery as the only grounds for divorce, I don't know how women can still be interested in pleasing a man who's cheating on them. Stop wasting your time trying to be a better wife, he's the one that needs to be a better husband.

thanks he said he ll take up the kids responsibility interms of money,I left the house right now cause of an issue and he hasn't called for like a week to even ask of the kids.

You said he is like this before you guys got married..............Why then did you marry him? And what where you expecting when you got married to a cheating boyfriend?

nnamdibig:
You said he is like this before you guys got married..............Why then did you marry him? And what where you expecting when you got married to a cheating boyfriend?

he didn't cheat while courting, just the nonchalant attitude but its wasn't really obvious then.

More of serious introspection will help to take you out of this problem. If you are a Christian, pray and also seek the advice of some elders or people you could possibly confide in. Some people have walked this road and testimonies have been said but it is up to you to decide how you want your marriage to continue.

ifemola:
thanks he said he ll take up the kids responsibility in terms of money,I left the house right now cause of an issue and he hasn't called for like a week to even ask of the kids.

He's probably expecting you to come back home cuz that's what most women do. Next thing now there would be a family meeting where your fellow women would try to shame/beg you into going back and 'praying'. No need going back after you've moved out, especially to a man that doesn't even seem to care. If your family wants to mediate, ask them to focus on getting him to agree on a definite plan for the kids welfare, as for you, you are still young, and you've got two kids, all you need now is a source of income not a cheating husband.

Thanks abunch

Giddyperson:

He's probably expecting you to come back home cuz that's what most women do. Next thing now there would be a family meeting where your fellow women would try to shame/beg you into going back and 'praying'. No need going back after you've moved out, especially to a man that doesn't even seem to care. If your family wants to mediate, ask them to focus on getting him to agree on a definite plan for the kids welfare, as for you, you are still young, and you've got two kids, all you need now is a source of income not a cheating husband.

Whew! I can imagine how distraught and confused you must be right now. Pele. Pls note that you are in the best position to advise yourself now...

-Do you really want to be in a loveless marriage?
-Do you really want to stay with a man who clearly doesn't want you?
-Do you want to struggle this out only to wake up at 36 to the reality of your situation and them move?
- Do you think you two might have rushed this marriage thing and thus need the counselling you might have skipped initially?


Think about your life and your kids and decide from there... Pretend you are a third party with amble info while at it. Good luck.

The only thing I can advice now is get a source of income
Every other will fall in after then

But first and most importantly
Make money

Thanks alot

sisisioge:
Whew! I can imagine how distraught and confused you must be right now. Pele. Pls note that you are in the best position to advise yourself now...

-Do you really want to be in a loveless marriage?
-Do you really want to stay with a man who clearly doesn't want you?
-Do you want to struggle this out only to wake up at 36 to the reality of your situation and them move?
- Do you think you two might have rushed this marriage thing and thus need the counselling you might have skipped initially?


Think about your life and your kids and decide from there... Pretend you are a third party with amble info while at it. Good luck.

Giddyperson:

Typical male comment. She should start to worship him because he cheated, mtcheew.

I never meant that she should worship him but know it that every women, has all that it takes to win any strong man............... yes god made it so, she should discover her strenght and put it to work, by doing so, that man will submit willingly and the woman becomes a winner even when it was not announce going by African customs and traditions, atleast the woman wins.,

Thanks

Dyt:
The only thing I can advice now is get a source of income
Every other will fall in after then

But first and most importantly
Make money

Have been trying

Dyt:
The only thing I can advice now is get a source of income
Every other will fall in after then

But first and most importantly
Make money

ifemola:
thanks am 26 .I dress really nice, cook good food. I tried to take him out on his birthday but he refused. He's social with girls outside but with me its different. Truth is he really don't see anything good in me. When I was pregnant he complained I was too ugly, he never compliment but criticize.

Never to worry, but needed to restrategize once more, men life seem more complicated than that of a women, we think that what we saw out there are better than what we have until we lose that, you needed to find out in your own way what he used to see in other women that you don't have and try to make it up ...................... Every woman is beautiful, my mum used to tell me, no ugly woman, if he says you are urgly, ask him the meaning of groom, Patience dogs eats the fatest bone and watch again if you really nags, i mean talk more when you suppose to listen, do you really give him peace even when he doesn't deserve it............... do you show him love when he wants war, do you keeps the house neat even when he is the one always mess them up, men are like babies they needs you to cuddle them like their mum even when they do not merit it...... they will want you to breast feed them even when you are tired, they ask you to work then around even when you complain of been sick.............., yes, surely if you love this man, you will soon win his heart and later make him do what you want him do............ DO NOT IN ANYWAY ATTEMPT TO CONFRONT ANY MAN EGO. IF YOU DO YOU WILL KEEP LOSING HIM TO OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE

ifemola:
Have been trying

Keep trying.. You will get 2 d promise land sooner than u expect.
Just place his matter behind you but he needs to take care of kids financially.
Or did you get pregnant before marriage?

[b] You are the "genesis" of your problems, when a man "clearly" doesn't show you love, It's "never" advisable to marry such a person!

I don't believe in built love, Attachment can be built but love? No!

Its not impossible for you to win his love , It's doable but the changes will be "demanded and temporary" and you won't feel satisfied knowing that you forced him to love you, The most beautiful thing about love "is being loved in return" not because you demanded it!

If you decide to leave him, The way i see it, You have so many things to consider before making that decision

:The effect on the kids, loveless marriages/divorces have been known to have negative effects on the kids involved

:Practical matters, leaving him will bring about many changes and expenses, place to live, where will the kids stay?

:Are you ready for the social consequences? Are you ready to face your mum, brothers, friends, pastor etc and explain your decision, most cultures don't support the dissolution of a marriage irrespective of the situation of things.

:How will you feel being single? Are you willing to do what it takes to find another man?

Can you handle all that?

He married you so clearly he feels something for you, Might be lost but it "existed"

You have to win his love back "naturally", Make him fall "in-love" with you again!

Dwell on my thoughts and let me know, I can help you win his love back (naturally) but the choice "must" be yours and yours alone

I wish you much strength and much wisdom. [/b]

ifemola:
My husband doesn't care about me or love me,he told me and shows it through his actions. Chat with different girls at will,cheated before but am not sure if he's still cheating as I stopped checking his phones. He has always being like this while we were courting but not really this obvious. Am confused as I don't know how to continue in a loveless marriage. I have two kids already and I don't have a job,its not being easy getting a job. We sleep in separate rooms also. I don't know what to do stay in a loveless marriage, don't know if leaving the marriage ll help either. He doesn't simply care at all

I guess I should feel some bit of empathy but sadly I don't. You invited the 'devil' to your bed voluntarily, knowing full well what you were getting yourself into.

My experience with some ladies have really turned me into this unsympathetic individual when it comes to ladies weeping over a choice they made with their two eyes open.

We have a lot of good guys out there but nooooooo, what some ladies want are the flashy, fun to be with, lying, cheating guys who care only for what's between their legs; with the hope of changing them when they are married.

I know a lady who is currently going through what you are facing and probably her case is a bit worse than yours but still I find myself unable to show any form of sympathy.

I hope to be generous enough some day to show the empathy ladies in your shoes need.

On a lighter note I empathise with your kids because they did not choose this for themselves. If only their mum had made a wise decision, probably all these would have been avoided.

I will say a prayer for you though and hope someone gives the good advise that you seek.

makelove2m:


Never to worry, but needed to restrategize once more, men life seem more complicated than that of a women, we think that what we saw out there are better than what we have until we lose that, you needed to find out in your own way what he used to see in other women that you don't have and try to make it up ...................... Every woman is beautiful, my mum used to tell me, no ugly woman, if he says you are urgly, ask him the meaning of groom, Patience dogs eats the fatest bone and watch again if you really nags, i mean talk more when you suppose to listen, do you really give him peace even when he doesn't deserve it............... do you show him love when he wants war, do you keeps the house neat even when he is the one always mess them up, men are like babies they needs you to cuddle them like their mum even when they do not merit it...... they will want you to breast feed them even when you are tired, they ask you to work then around even when you complain of been sick.............., yes, surely if you love this man, you will soon win his heart and later make him do what you want him do............ DO NOT IN ANYWAY ATTEMPT TO CONFRONT ANY MAN EGO. IF YOU DO YOU WILL KEEP LOSING HIM TO OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE

thanks but the real reason I left the house was because he tried to sleep with my younger sister staying with us,though he denied it. But I have my evidence.

makelove2m:


I never meant that she should worship him but know it that every women, has all that it takes to win any strong man............... yes god made it so, she should discover her strength and put it to work, by doing so, that man will submit willingly and the woman becomes a winner even when it was not announce going by African customs and traditions, at least the woman wins.,

Mtcheew, strong man ko, a man who cheats on his wife is as weak as they come, he doesn't deserve to be won. You men should stay there and be fooling yourselves. Op better find something else to channel your energy on, a new term is about to begin, so you can atleast find a school to teach, that would keep your mind occupied and ensure you are not total burden to whomever is accommodating you..

Op, please continue to pray to God who orders the steps of man. All you have to do is have sincere and complete faithe in the One who created you and wrote the blueprint of your life. Before He created you, He already knew you, and He already made provisions to help you.

My sincere advice to you is that you should continue to have faith in God because no one can help you except Him, and He said that He honours nothing as much as sincere faith, OP, taku ti Olorun to'da e, taku ti finally, go burst on Him with dangerous and unwavering faith.

Another thing you mist do is that you must be a source of joy to everyone around you, all the beggars must know you as the iya oninu ire who never passes without dashing us something. Let people see you and see relief to their issues, and let these people continue to bombard heaven with prayers on your behalf.

OP, all will be well, you hear, all will be well. Faith has never failed anyone and it will not start with you.

Don't sit around and wait for paid employment, whatever your hand finds, do it. Learn how to make hair, take your CV to schools, think of something you can sell. Don't just do nothing and please try not to be chummy before you contact HIV and other STDs. You can never make a man that never loved you, love you. You are just 26 , don't wait till 46 to realise that you wasted your life with a man that is worth nothing as a husband.

ifemola:
thanks but the real reason I left the house was because he tried to sleep with my younger sister staying with us,though he denied it. But I have my evidence.

In this case you are not the one to leave the house but your sister, since am a man, i do advise from the man angle of judgement, men are like dogs, yes, some men, they have preferences but they go for anything accessible at a given time and later regrets their actions, most men think with their genital organs than their God given brain, please go back to your husband house, since he wasn't the one that sent you out but, try to regain strenght this time to win him, yes, you can, i know you can, even the word impossible says, I'mpossible, You can make him kneel before you to apologise for all his shortcomings, you have what it takes, don't listen to most people as they were not seeing what you are seeing right now, they may not have the best advise to give to you............. remenber to make yourself relevant financially, if you have not started, start up immediately, very important, ............... thanks anyway for speaking up so many women dies in silent today, as many men do think that since they married the women that they are their slaves, you can never be one, that was in old days

ifemola:
thanks am 26 .I dress really nice, cook good food. I tried to take him out on his birthday but he refused. He's social with girls outside but with me its different. Truth is he really don't see anything good in me. When I was pregnant he complained I was too ugly, he never compliment but criticize.

why did he marry you?

. It's sad your husband can say such to your face. OMG

Giddyperson:

Mtcheew, strong man ko, a man who cheats on his wife is as weak as they come, he doesn't deserve to be won. You men should stay there and be fooling yourselves. Op better find something else to channel your energy on, a new term is about to begin, so you can atleast find a school to teach, that would keep your mind occupied and ensure you are not total burden to whomever is accommodating you..

Your case may be different from OP, so ...........don't compare at all, every woman has all it takes to pull men to their kneels, not by fight, shout and constant nagging........every woman needs a man, for a man to cheat there must be a woman involve, and that woman must be some one wife or future wife, no exemption, nature made it so, but that devilish thought can be controlled, an women has the right tool to do the job correctly

Thanks so much

Richy4:
Ma'am...It is just like when they tell a child not to put hands on fire that it burns, the child still went ahead and put his hands on it.......when it burns, he/she starts crying for solution......

You saw all the signs from the beginning..what were you thinking, that you can change him?...what was it that made you so hooked up?...was it the fact that he was

<<<<So Tall
<<<<fair in complexion
<<<<Pointed nose
<<<<Got British accent
<<<<or is it because you want to get married and answer MRS because all your mates got that title?

I would have asked you to carry your cross ma'am because i feel you were the architect of your problem...but this is Christmas....A time we share.....Anyways, I will suggest;

1. You do not have a job...You cannot live on the street...so i suggest you stay there,thank goodness you got a room..U have to stay like a flat mate.....Take care of your kids only and do not expect anything from him anymore..if he gives you, you take it just for your kids..

2. CV..CV...CV ...start sending that out desperately.. anywhere..everywhere...it does not matter...you need to built yourself worth again.. when love is not there, The spouse sees you as a free loader...So your image and whom you are is at-stake here..

3. when you got a job vacate the house and do not look back..there's nothing t salvage in that relationship...because he will not care whether you go or stay...besides, there was no spark in the relationship in the first place...And you can rise and shine again..do not be afraid but be strong..If genuine love knocks on your door this time, please accept...

One last thing...if you have a female kid ma'am.. start drumming it into her ears not to get marry because others were getting married..Especially when it looks like the bus carrying all the eligible bachelors were living her behind.....Advise her to marry because the man adores her and she feels the same.... Good-luck ma'am

He didn't feel remorse about it,rather he blame my mum. He never feels remorse after doing anything bad,even the day he nearly kill me,he didn't feel remorse even with my plead and tears,he never stop till he was tired. Am just afraid of starting over but equally tired of the marriage

makelove2m:


In this case you are not the one to leave the house but your sister, since am a man, i do advise from the man angle of judgement, men are like dogs, yes, some men, they have preferences but they go for anything accessible at a given time and later regrets their actions, most men think with their genital organs than their God given brain, please go back to your husband house, since he wasn't the one that sent you out but, try to regain strenght this time to win him, yes, you can, i know you can, even the word impossible says, I'mpossible, You can make him kneel before you to apologise for all his shortcomings, you have what it takes, don't listen to most people as they were not seeing what you are seeing right now, they may not have the best advise to give to you............. remenber to make yourself relevant financially, if you have not started, start up immediately, very important, ............... thanks anyway for speaking up so many women dies in silent today, as many men do think that since they married the women that they are their slaves, you can never be one, that was in old days