EfemenaXY:




Thelish, these ladies have beautifully captured what I was going to say & suggest. Take Bukky's advice about not giving her cash or raw food items. Also respond to Loisemm's questions.

I too thought your dad was no longer in the picture (apologies for thinking that), but the fact still remains that your mother is using those "pastors" to fill the void in her life, especially now that her kids have flown the nest.

Again, what's her relationship with your dad like, and what are your dad's views about this?

Dad is too afraid to talk now oo. as he would be labeled a wizard.lol
If ur not in support, u are probably a witch or possessed by a demon.

Blonchilli:

My dear it's so sad. I understand your pains. My mom has same issues. Give her 100 k she will pay tithe of 60k cos Daddy said we should increase our yield and sow seed of 30k then she'll start doing face that hunger is killing her. She even wants me to join her but I can't become foolish all in a bid to enrich these criminals. Nigerians suffer from religious ailment. Don't stop fighting is all I can say

She says" how can a whole God take 10percent, that it's too small for God. It's better she takes d 10 and God 90. lol
If u give her money for medication, she takes tithe from it.

thelish:


Dad is very much alive. They live together. Her own is, every other person comes first before her. Except her kids hubby n mum. Her mum, that is my grandmom is even tired of d whole situation. She can give pastor 30k for recharge card but she doesn't have 100 own on her phone.
Thank u jare. I don tire sef for d matter

Then be brutally honest and upfront with her jare.

Let her know just how tight things are at your end and you're struggling to keep your family afloat too in this recession.

How can she meekly give out her entire pay pack to those scheming "pastors" then expect you to give her more money just to fund them?

Fact is, she works so it's not like she hasn't got any money coming in. In fact, seeing as you lot provide for all her primary basics (food, clothing, shelter) and even the secondary ones (re-charge cards, fuel, etc), her earnings are pocket money / jara.

Abeg I dey vex, Thelish.

thelish:


Dad is too afraid to talk now oo. as he would be labeled a wizard.lol
If ur not in support, u are probably a witch or possessed by a demon.

Lol!

Believe me, I totally understand.

You know say pessin no dey chop for winch house otherwise dem go catch witchcraft.

So apply the same principle to money. Dem no dey take money from witches and wizards hand too, abi?

Some mothers sha..

EfemenaXY:


Lol!

Believe me, I totally understand.

You know say pessin no dey chop for winch house otherwise dem go catch witchcraft.

So apply the same principle to money. Dem no dey take money from witches and wizards hand too, abi?

Some mothers sha..

Efe, abeg nor kill me with laugh oo.
But on a serious note, she doesn't even see me n my dad as good people. courtesy of fake prophecies. If am to pay her back for her maltreatment to me, I won't even call her MOTHER. But I forget n forgive easily. And secondly she is my mum.

EfemenaXY:


Then be brutally honest and upfront with her jare.

Let her know just how tight things are at your end and you're struggling to keep your family afloat too in this recession.

How can she meekly give out her entire pay pack to those scheming "pastors" then expect you to give her more money just to fund them?

Fact is, she works so it's not like she hasn't got any money coming in. In fact, seeing as you lot provide for all her primary basics (food, clothing, shelter) and even the secondary ones (re-charge cards, fuel, etc), her earnings are pocket money / jara.

Abeg I dey vex, Thelish.

U nor vex reach me ooo. lol
She doesn't really disturb for money from us ooo. It just that her complains make people see us her kids as uncaring children to her. Every minute of d day she is complaining.
She bought big drum of fresh fish n cartons of provisions to one of her pastor. The pastor's wife admired her slippers, instead of thank u, she pulled it for her n came home with bare feet. No bathroom slippers was given to her sef. The painful part was that I have begged her d slippers when her sis abroad sent it cos I know d final destination of d slippers. She bluntly refuse oo. But go give my age mate outside cos she be amama.

thelish:


U nor vex reach me ooo. lol
She doesn't really disturb for money from us ooo. It just that her complains make people see us her kids as uncaring children to her. Every minute of d day she is complaining.
She bought big drum of fresh fish n cartons of provisions to one of her pastor. The pastor's wife admired her slippers, instead of thank u, she pulled it for her n came home with bare feet. No bathroom slippers was given to her sef. The painful part was that I have begged her d slippers when her sis abroad sent it cos I know d final destination of d slippers. She bluntly refuse oo. But go give my age mate outside cos she be amama.

The bolded is worrying.This is an obsession for want of a better word to use.She seems to be doing all that to fill a void in her life like someone said.The pastors are exploiting that.The only permanent solution to this is if she leaves the area where she stays(though she might hook up with another pastor) but that might be impossible now.

Just limit the cash you give her,buy the materials or pay for the services.I hope your mum can come around one day.

thelish:



bukky, thanks for ur response. Anything dad suggest irritates her. Pastors have made her believe we are witches n wizards. Dad inclusive.
For sometime now, I have been on foodstuffs, soups n stews for her. But she will always complain of not having #1 of her own. And when she is not having any money on her, she becomes aggressive. Little things provoke her.
Complements of d season to u. Thank u

Why does anything from your dad irritate her?

This too shall pass *hugs*

thelish:




We ve done all that. Even the one that permanently took her car was bashed by me to return it.
My mum called to say she has disowned me for telling a man of God to return her car. In fact it was serious war.
we even went to threaten them at home, to stay away from her. But all to no avail

Report to the police. The guys are scammers.

Splinz:


Simply do your job of providing for her. Whatever and however she chooses to spent what you've given to her is non of your business- you've played your own part.

That's mum for you. I can't just help but love them all the same irrespective of what I think may be their mistakes.

Hmm. The mom is being scammed and deceived and you ask them to keep quiet? Didn't you read the part where the op said the mom would give all her money to "pastor" and stay hungry? So, she should be left alone in d hands of scammers until she dies of hunger?

This your advice is somehow

thelish:



My dear, u really understand d scenario. she doesn't listen to anyone. whatever a pastor says is final. And they ve so much know her to be a free giver, so they invite each other to come and scam. Some even call her to change their car tyres for them. The one she bought wine for, told her to buy carton, that he is bigger than a bottle of wine. see race she carry go buy carton of wine.

Your mom is under spell. You need to report this to the police

bukatyne:
@thelish:

Anything you want to do, do in kind:

Buy her raw foodstuffs, fill her gas, buy her Ankara or office wears, fuel her car etc.

Don't give her cash.

If she would give the food stuffs and Co to the pastors, change it to prepared i.e. cook the food, sew the materials etc.

As a poster said, over religiosity is a symptom of a deeper issue and what"s your dad's view on the issue?

Or did she have a difficult marriage with your dad and turned to the hands of the church for solace? If yes, you will need to apprepricate the pastors because they did their bit and you honestly do not know the succor they provided.

Visit the paators, apologies and give them little gifts this Christmas. .. a bottle of wine, N1k recharge card to call their members, a hamper of fruits etc.

It is well.

Not all pastors are fake and members have been led since 1700 to give all to their spiritual leaders.

Compliments of the season.

You mean she should visit the scammer pastor and still give him gift after he has glaringly scammed her mom? Now I know why pastors get easy victims to scam. It is because peeps like you are many.

If everyone was like me these pastors who refuse to have a job will starve.
I'm all for generosity but I can't be scammed. Kilode? I'm vexed reading this.

thelish:



She says" how can a whole God take 10percent, that it's too small for God. It's better she takes d 10 and God 90. lol
If u give her money for medication, she takes tithe from it.

You know she is not acting " from her right senses" right ?

Seek psychiatric help fast before it worsens - google schizophrenia - educate yourself about it and get her the help she truly needs.

blazer234:


Hmm. The mom is being scammed and deceived and you ask them to keep quiet? Didn't you read the part where the op said the mom would give all her money to "pastor" and stay hungry? So, she should be left alone in d hands of scammers until she dies of hunger?

This your advice is somehow

If you believe that she's giving out everything and starving, then you can believe anything. I have a mother and know them too well.

I also know exaggeration when I see one. And yes, what were you expecting me to tell op: "stop giving her money"? "threaten the so-called pastor"? You think these kind of advices will solve anything

Well then, go ahead and advice the op.

Splinz:


If you believe that she's giving out everything and starving, then you can believe anything. I have a mother and know them too well.

I also know exaggeration when I see one. And yes, what were you expecting me to tell op: "stop giving her money"? "threaten the so-called pastor"? You think these kind of advices will solve anything

Well then, go ahead and advice the op.

Yeah, it is nice to go give the scammer more money especially after he collects the mom's car. What kind of understanding is this? Someone is committing crime and your prescription is that he should be given gift?

thelish:


U nor vex reach me ooo. lol
She doesn't really disturb for money from us ooo. It just that her complains make people see us her kids as uncaring children to her. Every minute of d day she is complaining.
She bought big drum of fresh fish n cartons of provisions to one of her pastor. The pastor's wife admired her slippers, instead of thank u, she pulled it for her n came home with bare feet. No bathroom slippers was given to her sef. The painful part was that I have begged her d slippers when her sis abroad sent it cos I know d final destination of d slippers. She bluntly refuse oo. But go give my age mate outside cos she be amama.

This is no more a case of kindness. Dont be offended but it smirks of ego and witchcraft on the part of the giver.
Ego when you easily give to outsiders but refuse giving to your own. You want to be seen as good outside forgetting that charity begins at home.
Witchcraft if she keeps disobeying and disregarding her husband who is spiritually and legally her first head. Many women think the pastor is their first authority. Na lie o. After God, na your husband. Stubbornness to our husbands is subtle witchcraft. Bible talk am. I don forget the place e dey. God help all of us.
Mummy really needs to change and see that you guys come first. If your family is in disarray or not happy with you, your impact outside will be diminished.

Some pastors sef are not helping matters. They have become professionals in taking advantage of weak -willed women. One minister couple told a woman they would like to come and squat in her spare apartment downstairs. Its a big storey duplex. This woman's husband objected. When the woman told them sorry. They started vexing for her and carrying face. What nonsense! After she had dashed them plenty money in the past o. See sense of entitlement na.

blazer234:


Yeah, it is nice to go give the scammer more money especially after he collects the mom's car. What kind of understanding is this? Someone is committing crime and your prescription is that he should be given gift?

Crime you said I'm not aware that the woman was robbed at gun point.

And please, stop making fallacious statements! If you can't understand my point of view, kindly get off!

Where did I even remotely suggest that gifts should be given to any damn person

Splinz:


Crime you said I'm not aware that the woman was robbed at gun point.

And please, stop making fallacious statements! If you can't understand my point of view, kindly get off!

Where did I even remotely suggest that gifts should be given to any damn person

Funny

So giving your car to an empty idiot calling himself a pastor when you don't have an extra car is not a crime? And who told you they have to point a gun before such can be translated as crime?
Stop contradicting yourself

blazer234:


Funny

So giving your car to an empty idiot calling himself a pastor when you don't have an extra car is not a crime? And who told you they have to point a gun before such can be translated as crime?
Stop contradicting yourself

How does wilful donation of gifts to someone without any form of coercion translate to a criminal act in the court of law? Is the said mother complaining of parting with her car out of her own volition

The joke is on you.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Now, OP is your mother mentally incapacitated? If she's not, then you need to respect her beliefs and how she wants to live her life.
The most you can do is to talk to her, and if she doesn't want to listen , leave her alone.
You can also withdraw all financial obligations to her, that's equally your prerogative. Whether she tells the whole world she's always broke is also her business.
One thing you have to understand about people and the beliefs they hold dear is that they cannot be swayed easily. The more you pressurise them about it, the more hardened they become in the face of persecution. However when knowledge comes on its own without coercion, their eyes open and they are able to make the decision themselves. Decisions made under coercion don't last long.
So just let her known your reservations and move on

Loisemm:

This is no more a case of kindness. Dont be offended but it smirks of ego and witchcraft on the part of the giver.
Ego when you easily give to outsiders but refuse giving to your own. You want to be seen as good outside forgetting that charity begins at home.
Witchcraft if she keeps disobeying and disregarding her husband who is spiritually and legally her first head. Many women think the pastor is their first authority. Na lie o. After God, na your husband. Stubbornness to our husbands is subtle witchcraft. Bible talk am. I don forget the place e dey. God help all of us.
Mummy really needs to change and see that you guys come first. If your family is in disarray or not happy with you, your impact outside will be diminished.

Some pastors sef are not helping matters. They have become professionals in taking advantage of weak -willed women. One minister couple told a woman they would like to come and squat in her spare apartment downstairs. Its a big storey duplex. This woman's husband objected. When the woman told them sorry. They started vexing for her and carrying face. What nonsense! After she had dashed them plenty money in the past o. See sense of entitlement na.

She wants to be seen as Mrs perfect outside. Thank u my sister. Me, I don tire oooo

Pushurself:


You know she is not acting " from her right senses" right ?

Seek psychiatric help fast before it worsens - google schizophrenia - educate yourself about it and get her the help she truly needs.

Thank u

blazer234:


You mean she should visit the scammer pastor and still give him gift after he has glaringly scammed her mom? Now I know why pastors get easy victims to scam. It is because peeps like you are many.

I dey craze to do that kind thing?? tufiaaa

blazer234:


Your mom is under spell. You need to report this to the police

Hahaha. abeg I don tire. My elder bro has given up on matter cos there is nothing he hasn't done.

bukatyne:

Why does anything from your dad irritate her?
This too shall pass *hugs*

Amen oo. Thanks dearie. *hugs n smiles**

thorpido:
The bolded is worrying.This is an obsession for want of a better word to use.She seems to be doing all that to fill a void in her life like someone said.The pastors are exploiting that.The only permanent solution to this is if she leaves the area where she stays(though she might hook up with another pastor) but that might be impossible now.

Just limit the cash you give her,buy the materials or pay for the services.I hope your mum can come around one day.

Thank u sir. She refused USA invitation for vacation. She said she will miss her pastors n bishops if she travels.
There was a time she discharged herself from hospital cos she never wanted to miss a service, until she go collapse for church ooo

thelish:


Thank u sir. She refused USA invitation for vacation. She said she will miss her pastors n bishops if she travels.
There was a time she discharged herself from hospital cos she never wanted to miss a service, until she go collapse for church ooo

Hmmm,the deliverance she needs now has to be deliverance from pastors.

cococandy:
If everyone was like me these pastors who refuse to have a job will starve.
I'm all for generosity but I can't be scammed. Kilode? I'm vexed reading this.

Hahaha. if my mum were to be ur mum, what will u do then?

Splinz:


Crime you said I'm not aware that the woman was robbed at gun point.

And please, stop making fallacious statements! If you can't understand my point of view, kindly get off!

Where did I even remotely suggest that gifts should be given to any damn person

When d said pastor told her there was spirit of accident in d car?

EgusiSoup:


go to the church and do the needful to the pastor.

shoot d pastor in d head

eyinjuege:
Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Now, OP is your mother mentally incapacitated? If she's not, then you need to respect her beliefs and how she wants to live her life.
The most you can do is to talk to her, and if she doesn't want to listen , leave her alone.
You can also withdraw all financial obligations to her, that's equally your prerogative. Whether she tells the whole world she's always broke is also her business.
One thing you have to understand about people and the beliefs they hold dear is that they cannot be swayed easily. The more you pressurise them about it, the more hardened they become in the face of persecution. However when knowledge comes on its own without coercion, their eyes open and they are able to make the decision themselves. Decisions made under coercion don't last long.
So just let her known your reservations and move on

Thank u ma