Stats: 3,186,762 members, 7,930,618 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 August 2024 at 11:26 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please (6696 Views)
I Cheated On My Husband With A Guy From Work And I Don't Know What To Do. / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do / My Wife Is Pregnant, I Don't Know If Its With My Baby. (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 9:40pm On Dec 22, 2016 |
He said I was the best wife but he couldn't just love me,I wondered if he ever loved me.I don't know what happened, he's not even feeling bad treating me badly. Am still wondering makelove2m: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by MrPresident1: 9:42pm On Dec 22, 2016 |
ifemola: Hmmm... ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by WorldRichest: 11:28pm On Dec 22, 2016 |
ifemola: Please don't say this outside. I beg you in the name of all Nigerian men. This is too shameful. Once again, please don't say this outside. I am sorry, I have no advice to give on the subject. I have been married for 6 years now and I have 2 kids, believe me there is no mathematical formula for happy marriage. No marriage is without its up and down. If you see old couples celebrating 70 years of marriage, it means that they have been fighting and settling for 70 years, so marriage is a work in progress. However, some people are difficult to live with. Just take it easy and think about yourself first before the kids. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by nnamdiosu(m): 12:28am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: Sweet heart. Its.gonna be all right. See....before I say anything.....you need to yell us some more things. E.g wen did u exactly notice this.behaviour from him. Did.u guys have any argument before? Other aspect is the sex life. Has it died down or dying? (You might wan to privately pm me). Is there someone in the family he respects that u can talk to?, etc. just don't despair. Talk to God. We here for u ok? |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by darlingtito(f): 12:39am On Dec 23, 2016 |
I feel your pain tho..buh since you noticed it while dating, you should have taken a walk and jus given ur kids the best dad..buh it's already done.so jus pray and don't lose yourself tryna please him. ifemola: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by drmikeadams(m): 1:00am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by OneManLegion(m): 2:06am On Dec 23, 2016 |
makelove2m: A very chauvinistic and unintelligent comment. Get out! 11 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 7:00am On Dec 23, 2016 |
He used to respect his dad but not any more. His behaviour started after i was pregnant with my first baby but now its worse. Am confuse nnamdiosu: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 7:02am On Dec 23, 2016 |
He's not rich, am not lazy ,am making small small money. The biz he started I was able to raise small change for him from my pocket. drmikeadams: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 7:03am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Its really embarrassing I know that and its hard for me saying it here too. Thanks WorldRichest: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by madamGift(f): 7:08am On Dec 23, 2016 |
bbmpin: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by cococandy(f): 7:23am On Dec 23, 2016 |
makelove2m:wow 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by cococandy(f): 7:25am On Dec 23, 2016 |
makelove2m:Which God? The one you guys created in your wicked fantasies to help you brainwash the willing into swallowing poo from you? Na so. God indeed 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by cococandy(f): 7:29am On Dec 23, 2016 |
![]() ![]() makelove2m: 3 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by MrPresident1: 8:24am On Dec 23, 2016 |
The lawful captive is released from captivity saith THE LORD. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by makelove2m(m): 8:38am On Dec 23, 2016 |
cococandy: No one has the capacity to create God as he is supreme, reading from your threads, it seem to me that you were once, messed up by men, never to worry, time will heal your wound, I never support evil and will never support one in future, girls , i mean women should be more careful when selecting who to relate to, if you built your relationship in a shaky foundation, it willl more likely going to fall, your instints will guide you do better judgement, men were like MMM, do not give all you have otherwise, you will regret it later, = REMENBER THAT THERE ARE BETTER MEN OUT THERE= AND BETTER WOMEN ALSO= SHINE UR EYE=BE YOURSELF, Then you will fine your match 1 Like |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by makelove2m(m): 8:39am On Dec 23, 2016 |
cococandy: No one has the capacity to create God as he is supreme, reading from your threads, it seem to me that you were once, messed up by men, never to worry, time will heal your wound, I never support evil and will never support one in future, girls , i mean women should be more careful when selecting who to relate to, if you built your relationship in a shaky foundation, it willl more likely going to fall, your instints will guide you do better judgement, men were like MMM, do not give all you have otherwise, you will regret it later, = REMENBER THAT THERE ARE BETTER MEN OUT THERE= AND BETTER WOMEN ALSO= SHINE UR EYE=BE YOURSELF, Then you will find your match |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by cococandy(f): 8:41am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Dumbass makelove2m: 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by makelove2m(m): 8:48am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: It seem you are living in fear, so, deal with it to enable you restore your confidence in your husband....................... wishes you goodluck |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by Nobody: 9:35am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Blaming you isn't the solution to your problem bt I just want you to realise you caused all this shii. Were you pressured into marriage? Y d hell would you marry someone dah has a nonchalant attitude and doesn't even care about you or your feelings.... You said he started making his behavior obvious when you were pregnant with ur first child and went ahead to give me him a second child.... What were you thinking?? He would get better ryt?? The person in question here doesn't respect his dad and you expect him to be submissive? Madam ifemola take your life into ur hands and wise up! Ignore the man for now abeg, get a job or start a trade ur priority now should be ur kids and creating a good life for them..... Let the man change his perception about you.... Be an independent woman it's never too late to start something reasonable and above all BE PRAYERFUL 3 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by thorpido(m): 9:36am On Dec 23, 2016 |
cococandy: ![]() |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by drmikeadams(m): 9:36am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola:..just give pushing ..some men are ingrates |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by nnamdiosu(m): 9:39am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: Ok. But who does he respect or listen to? Friend, family, pastor? Does he drop.money for u for up.keep etc? Is hr acting like u offended him? Like wen he's angry with us, are these the signs. Is there still a sexual bond? |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by bukatyne(f): 9:46am On Dec 23, 2016 |
byvan03: My sister, when will they learn the bolded? Signs How are you and yours this Christmas? |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by bukatyne(f): 9:49am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: @OP: I honestly don't know what changed that is fueling this thread. Like byvan said, get a source if income & everything will fall into place. Chasing this man to love you will only bring more misery if he doesn't reciprocate. May I ask why you married him? I am guessing you wedded him at about 23? |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by thorpido(m): 10:04am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Op,you need to get a source of income first of all.It doesn't have to be a paid job.You can learn to trade. Or if you don't have a flair for that,learn hair dressing or something that can bring in daily income. I don't know if your husband can change,though some do change but I wouldn't want you to waste your time in a loveless marriage.I believe in prayer but I'll rather pray for a mango tree to bear mango fruits rather than praying for the mango tree to produce guava. Your foundation was faulty.If a man doesn't love a woman,it's hard for him to,even in marriage. I write for you single ladies,take your time to have a proper foundation before marriage.Let your boyfriend be shown to love you and be committed before deciding to marry him.Ensure he has some stability,family-wise.I advise against not marrying a man who has no stability family-wise.Someone who does not have a good role model.Someone who does not have anyone he looks up to in a family.Someone who has no 'father-figure'. I want to know why you married him at 22/23 yrs of age like someone asked. 2 Likes |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by baby124: 10:34am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom: People marry for several reasons. Some for love, age, beauty, security or kids. Not everyone gets married for love. In fact in my observation most don't. But the most important factor that probably keeps most marriages going is respect and a willingness to work on the marriage. Also a willingness to be selfless and change what is obviously sabotaging that marriage. One thing I have learnt in life is that there are all kinds of people. A majority of people lack deep thought. If you are a thoughtful person you will realize this. A lot of us are shallow and act without truly thinking. We also mostly act selfishly. When you truly realize this you will know how to handle people more. The things they do will not hurt you. Instead you would look at things from a practical angle and decide what you want to do. Also, another factor that most people don't understand is mental illness. We Nigerian's tend to try to explain an obvious mental instability. A person that constantly puts you down and degrades you is not mentally ok. A person that cannot empathize or lacks empathy, is not mentally ok. A person that can attempt to sleep with your sister, is not mentally ok. A person that willingly puts those around him, their health and safety is jeopardy is not mentally ok. A man that cannot listen to his father, will not make a good role model as a father. That is if the father is a good man. We don't know the reason for that rift. At the end of the day, we have the power to decide what we accept in our lives. You have to be selfish about yourself to survive in this life. But not selfish to the point where you hurt other's. Just selfish enough to know your limits and know you cannot change anyone. You also must have a plan for your future. If you have a plan for your life my dear, anything trying to derail that plan will quickly be thrown away. Lastly, dont let a man with obvious mental and self esteem issues bring you down to his level. You look in the mirror and know you are not ugly. He says that to keep a hold of you to abuse you for his own sick desires. He keeps you there with abuse to have someone to frustrate when he is frustrated. You came to this world alone, and you will be buried alone. The path to your happiness and fulfillment does not lie in any human's hands. Be wise and wake up. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 10:45am On Dec 23, 2016 |
I loved him.we got married after my service bukatyne: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by ifemola: 10:48am On Dec 23, 2016 |
Thanks so much I really appreciate baby124: |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by bukatyne(f): 11:04am On Dec 23, 2016 |
baby124: Nice one! |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by bukatyne(f): 11:14am On Dec 23, 2016 |
ifemola: If you were content loving him without him loving you back then, what changed now? And I don't believe you just noticed his cheating now. To be honest, I don't think separation will do you any good. If you couldn't choose well at 23 when you were without kids, had the world at your feet and obviously more liable to seek romance, what is the probability you will choose well at 26 with 2 kids? I will advise you to read baby124's post over and over again. Forget his love, it wasn't important; strive for his respect and financial responsibility esp to the kids. Get a source of income and stop engaging him from a supplicating or needy standpoint. Be more assertive (note I didn't say rude) and carry yourself with grace. With time, he will behave better towards you; afterall, he has acknowledged you are a 'good' wife whom he doesn't just fancies/loves. Goodluck. |
Re: I Don't Know What To Do......suggestions Please by byvan03: 12:37pm On Dec 23, 2016 |
bukatyne: I guess they will learn when a fowl sprouts teeth. We are good Sis and yours? Christmas is accelerating already ,am on it ![]() |
Golfer Grayson Murray Cause Of Death: Wife, Net Worth, Accident, Fiance / Mothers Please Talk To Me. / In Need Of A Househelp Agency(or House Help)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 94 |