makelove2m:


Your case may be different from OP, so ...........don't compare at all, every woman has all it takes to pull men to their kneels, not by fight, shout and constant nagging........every woman needs a man, for a man to cheat there must be a woman involve, and that woman must be some one wife or future wife, no exemption, nature made it so, but that devilish thought can be controlled, an women has the right tool to do the job correctly

ifemola:
He didn't feel remorse about it,rather he blame my mum. He never feels remorse after doing anything bad,even the day he nearly kill me,he didn't feel remorse even with my plead and tears,he never stop till he was tired. Am just afraid of starting over but equally tired of the marriage

ifemola:
thanks but the real reason I left the house was because he tried to sleep with my younger sister staying with us,though he denied it. But I have my evidence.

ifemola:
please don't just view...help a sister in need of advice...its really frustrating

ifemola:
he didn't cheat while courting, just the nonchalant attitude but its wasn't really obvious then.

ifemola:
please don't just view...help a sister in need of advice...its really frustrating

makelove2m:


Never to worry, but needed to restrategize once more, men life seem more complicated than that of a women, we think that what we saw out there are better than what we have until we lose that, you needed to find out in your own way what he used to see in other women that you don't have and try to make it up ...................... Every woman is beautiful, my mum used to tell me, no ugly woman, if he says you are urgly, ask him the meaning of groom, Patience dogs eats the fatest bone and watch again if you really nags, i mean talk more when you suppose to listen, do you really give him peace even when he doesn't deserve it............... do you show him love when he wants war, do you keeps the house neat even when he is the one always mess them up, men are like babies they needs you to cuddle them like their mum even when they do not merit it...... they will want you to breast feed them even when you are tired, they ask you to work then around even when you complain of been sick.............., yes, surely if you love this man, you will soon win his heart and later make him do what you want him do............ DO NOT IN ANYWAY ATTEMPT TO CONFRONT ANY MAN EGO. IF YOU DO YOU WILL KEEP LOSING HIM TO OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE

nnamdiosu:



Sweet heart. Its.gonna be all right. See....before I say anything.....you need to yell us some more things. E.g wen did u exactly notice this.behaviour from him. Did.u guys have any argument before? Other aspect is the sex life. Has it died down or dying? (You might wan to privately pm me). Is there someone in the family he respects that u can talk to?, etc. just don't despair. Talk to God. We here for u ok?

drmikeadams:
;Dplease get a job and keep[ ur self busy..maybe he thinkls ur just lazying around eating his money...but get a job or start a biz

WorldRichest:



Please don't say this outside. I beg you in the name of all Nigerian men. This is too shameful. Once again, please don't say this outside. I am sorry, I have no advice to give on the subject. I have been married for 6 years now and I have 2 kids, believe me there is no mathematical formula for happy marriage. No marriage is without its up and down. If you see old couples celebrating 70 years of marriage, it means that they have been fighting and settling for 70 years, so marriage is a work in progress. However, some people are difficult to live with. Just take it easy and think about yourself first before the kids.

bbmpin:
[b] You are the "genesis" of your problems, when a man "clearly" doesn't show you love, It's "never" advisable to marry such a person!

I don't believe in built love, Attachment can be built but love? No!

Its not impossible for you to win his love , It's doable but the changes will be "demanded and temporary" and you won't feel satisfied knowing that you forced him to love you, The most beautiful thing about love "is being loved in return" not because you demanded it!

If you decide to leave him, The way i see it, You have so many things to consider before making that decision

:The effect on the kids, loveless marriages/divorces have been known to have negative effects on the kids involved

:Practical matters, leaving him will bring about many changes and expenses, place to live, where will the kids stay?

:Are you ready for the social consequences? Are you ready to face your mum, brothers, friends, pastor etc and explain your decision, most cultures don't support the dissolution of a marriage irrespective of the situation of things.

:How will you feel being single? Are you willing to do what it takes to find another man?

Can you handle all that?

He married you so clearly he feels something for you, Might be lost but it "existed"

You have to win his love back "naturally", Make him fall "in-love" with you again!

Dwell on my thoughts and let me know, I can help you win his love back (naturally) but the choice "must" be yours and yours alone

I wish you much strength and much wisdom. [/b]

makelove2m:


Number one offence is to check ur hubby phone, that will make you loose confidence in him and thereafter generate to hatre, so, show more love as ever before, dress to impress him, give him more good food, i tell you, you will win him back, today girls loves married men, so ur husband is not alone...............

makelove2m:


I never meant that she should worship him but know it that every women, has all that it takes to win any strong man............... yes god made it so she should discover her strenght and put it to work, by doing so, that man will submit willingly and the woman becomes a winner even when it was not announce going by African customs and traditions, atleast the woman wins.,

makelove2m:


In this case you are not the one to leave the house but your sister, since am a man, i do advise from the man angle of judgement, men are like dogs, yes, some men, they have preferences but they go for anything accessible at a given time and later regrets their actions, most men think with their genital organs than their God given brain, please go back to your husband house, since he wasn't the one that sent you out but, try to regain strenght this time to win him, yes, you can, i know you can, even the word impossible says , You can make him kneel before you to apologies for all his shortcomings, you have what it takes, don't listen to most people as they were not seeing what you are seeing right now, they may not have the best advise to give to you............. remenber to make yourself relevant financially, if you have not started, start up immediately, very important, ............... thanks anyway for speaking up so many women dies in silent today, as many men do think that since they married the women that they are their slaves, you can never be one, that was in old days

cococandy:

Which God? The one you guys created in your wicked fantasies to help you brainwash the willing into swallowing poo from you? Na so.
God indeed

cococandy:

Which God? The one you guys created in your wicked fantasies to help you brainwash the willing into swallowing poo from you? Na so.
God indeed

makelove2m:


No one has the capacity to create God as he is supreme, reading from your threads, it seem to me that you were once, messed up by men, never to worry, time will heal your wound, I never support evil and will never support one in future, girls , i mean women should be more careful when selecting who to relate to, if you built your relationship in a shaky foundation, it willl more likely going to fall, your instints will guide you do better judgement, men were like MMM, do not give all you have otherwise, you will regret it later,

= REMENBER THAT THERE ARE BETTER MEN OUT THERE= AND BETTER WOMEN ALSO= SHINE UR EYE=BE YOURSELF, Then you will fine your match

ifemola:
He said I was the best wife but he couldn't just love me,I wondered if he ever loved me.I don't know what happened, he's not even feeling bad treating me badly. Am still wondering

cococandy:
Dumbass

ifemola:
He's not rich, am not lazy ,am making small small money. The biz he started I was able to raise small change for him from my pocket.

ifemola:
He used to respect his dad but not any more. His behaviour started after i was pregnant with my first baby but now its worse. Am confuse

byvan03:
Don't sit around and wait for paid employment, whatever your hand finds, do it. Learn how to make hair, take your CV to schools, think of something you can sell. Don't just do nothing and please try not to be chummy before you contact HIV and other STDs. You can never make a man that never loved you, love you. You are just 26 , don't wait till 46 to realise that you wasted your life with a man that is worth nothing as a husband.

ifemola:
My husband doesn't care about me or love me,he told me and shows it through his actions. Chat with different girls at will,cheated before but am not sure if he's still cheating as I stopped checking his phones. He has always being like this while we were courting but not really this obvious. Am confused as I don't know how to continue in a loveless marriage. I have two kids already and I don't have a job,its not being easy getting a job. We sleep in separate rooms also. I don't know what to do stay in a loveless marriage, don't know if leaving the marriage ll help either. He doesn't simply care at all

bukatyne:


@OP:

I honestly don't know what changed that is fueling this thread.

Like byvan said, get a source if income & everything will fall into place.

Chasing this man to love you will only bring more misery if he doesn't reciprocate.

May I ask why you married him? I am guessing you wedded him at about 23?

baby124:
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom:

People marry for several reasons. Some for love, age, beauty, security or kids. Not everyone gets married for love. In fact in my observation most don't. But the most important factor that probably keeps most marriages going is respect and a willingness to work on the marriage. Also a willingness to be selfless and change what is obviously sabotaging that marriage.

One thing I have learnt in life is that there are all kinds of people. A majority of people lack deep thought. If you are a thoughtful person you will realize this. A lot of us are shallow and act without truly thinking. We also mostly act selfishly. When you truly realize this you will know how to handle people more. The things they do will not hurt you. Instead you would look at things from a practical angle and decide what you want to do.

Also, another factor that most people don't understand is mental illness. We Nigerian's tend to try to explain an obvious mental instability. A person that constantly puts you down and degrades you is not mentally ok. A person that cannot empathize or lacks empathy, is not mentally ok. A person that can attempt to sleep with your sister, is not mentally ok. A person that willingly puts those around him, their health and safety is jeopardy is not mentally ok. A man that cannot listen to his father, will not make a good role model as a father. That is if the father is a good man. We don't know the reason for that rift.

At the end of the day, we have the power to decide what we accept in our lives. You have to be selfish about yourself to survive in this life. But not selfish to the point where you hurt other's. Just selfish enough to know your limits and know you cannot change anyone. You also must have a plan for your future. If you have a plan for your life my dear, anything trying to derail that plan will quickly be thrown away.

Lastly, dont let a man with obvious mental and self esteem issues bring you down to his level. You look in the mirror and know you are not ugly. He says that to keep a hold of you to abuse you for his own sick desires. He keeps you there with abuse to have someone to frustrate when he is frustrated. You came to this world alone, and you will be buried alone. The path to your happiness and fulfillment does not lie in any human's hands. Be wise and wake up.

baby124:
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom:

People marry for several reasons. Some for love, age, beauty, security or kids. Not everyone gets married for love. In fact in my observation most don't. But the most important factor that probably keeps most marriages going is respect and a willingness to work on the marriage. Also a willingness to be selfless and change what is obviously sabotaging that marriage.

One thing I have learnt in life is that there are all kinds of people. A majority of people lack deep thought. If you are a thoughtful person you will realize this. A lot of us are shallow and act without truly thinking. We also mostly act selfishly. When you truly realize this you will know how to handle people more. The things they do will not hurt you. Instead you would look at things from a practical angle and decide what you want to do.

Also, another factor that most people don't understand is mental illness. We Nigerian's tend to try to explain an obvious mental instability. A person that constantly puts you down and degrades you is not mentally ok. A person that cannot empathize or lacks empathy, is not mentally ok. A person that can attempt to sleep with your sister, is not mentally ok. A person that willingly puts those around him, their health and safety is jeopardy is not mentally ok. A man that cannot listen to his father, will not make a good role model as a father. That is if the father is a good man. We don't know the reason for that rift.

At the end of the day, we have the power to decide what we accept in our lives. You have to be selfish about yourself to survive in this life. But not selfish to the point where you hurt other's. Just selfish enough to know your limits and know you cannot change anyone. You also must have a plan for your future. If you have a plan for your life my dear, anything trying to derail that plan will quickly be thrown away.

Lastly, dont let a man with obvious mental and self esteem issues bring you down to his level. You look in the mirror and know you are not ugly. He says that to keep a hold of you to abuse you for his own sick desires. He keeps you there with abuse to have someone to frustrate when he is frustrated. You came to this world alone, and you will be buried alone. The path to your happiness and fulfillment does not lie in any human's hands. Be wise and wake up.

ifemola:
I loved him.we got married after my service

bukatyne:


My sister, when will they learn the bolded?

Signs

How are you and yours this Christmas?