Have you always wondered why some people are quick to say "i don't want to talk about it" whenever a new person in their life asks why they broke up with an ex?

I guess most times people who are quick to waive the discussion might just have something sensitive they do not want to share because in many instances we tend to allow the feeling of initial gragra cloud our sense of reasoning and just fall in love with someone who was really a nightmare to his or her ex(es) no wonder why many companies ask for letter of reference from your past employer or someone that can really vouch for you.

My advice to ladies or guys who seem to lose their sense of reasoning due to "desperation to get married" is to calm down and do serious research on whoever they want to settle with.I believe if we all imbibe the culture of insisting that we speak one on one with an ex of our potential new partner or dig into their past,we will save ourselves unpleasant surprises and avoidable heart aches.

This is not just about believing whatever he or she tells you due to the decietful nature of people but its about making a thorough due diligence by speaking to a friend,neighbor,sibling,co-worker or even the ex of that person just to have a good picture of who you are about to commit yourself to.

I know this sounds funny but i believe its reasonable and this is the secret of long lasting marriages of our parents because in those days,they don't joke with due diligence up to the generations of the great grand parents of the potential spouse..lol!.

Many men have lost their lives indulging with married ladies who lied to them that they are single as well as many men losing all they ever worked for to a dangerous gold digger as well as evil ladies and many ladies have ended up getting deeply involved with a married man or even a notorious guy without having a clue.

No matter how seemingly innocent and responsible that guy or lady may look outwardly,trust me on this,it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start a real affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots

Hope this makes sense.

My dear no matter the research of past this or past that, no relationship is secure. Relationship na black market. Na only those weh God favour dey get mouth say they have d best partner like say na their ability. That favour na him me dey pray for.

Makes sense but the disadvantage is that in times of arguments, one partner might try to use the other's past or shortcomings to hurt him or her with derogatory words. I am dreading the day she will yab me... Lol I am seeing it coming already...

dingbang:
Makes sense but the disadvantage is that in times of arguments, one partner might try to use the other's past or shortcomings to hurt him or her with derogatory words. I am dreading the day she will yab me... Lol I am seeing it coming already...

You are absolutely correct but a regenerated person would have no business talking about his/her patner's past simply because they are having issues!

If i love my neighbour as myself and wouldn't want to hurt myself, then why try to hurt people because we know their "bad past". If truly love exist then it should cover multitudes of sin!

Relationships are truly incomparable....as when one person may have not been compatible with their ex, the case could be different with a new partner.

Though this doesn't undermine the thoughts of finding out about the past, as you could find out certain traits/character/habits of the person whom you intend to date

luckyz4rea:


You are absolutely correct but a regenerated person would have no business talking about his/her patner's past simply because they are having issues!

If i love my neighbour as myself and wouldn't want to hurt myself, then why try to hurt people because we know their "bad past". If truly love exist then it should cover multitudes of sin!

have you never been in a chronic conflict? when one is angry and in rage he/she can spill anything!

luckyz4rea:


You are absolutely correct but a regenerated person would have no business talking about his/her patner's past simply because they are having issues!

If i love my neighbour as myself and wouldn't want to hurt myself, then why try to hurt people because we know their "bad past". If truly love exist then it should cover multitudes of sin!

yeah but we should face reality, these things happen!

The least I can inquire from a new girl about her past relationships would be what caused the break up, then maybe the occasional gist about our sexual past.
What I would not do is to scrutinize her relationship history by going about sorting out every ex she's fūcked with. Dafuq we gone talk about? Wetin concern me.
I pride myself on being sagacious, and I know a damn red flag when I see it. So I trust me to do what's best for me, not everybody is blinded by love/infatuation. My girl is a bītch, I tell her that, I like them that way.

dingbang:
Makes sense but the disadvantage is that in times of arguments, one partner might try to use the other's past or shortcomings to hurt him or her with derogatory words. I am dreading the day she will yab me... Lol I am seeing it coming already...

Who be that if i may ask, sorry for my curiousity

firstking01:
Who be that if i may ask, sorry for my curiousity

my girlfriend

Knowing some things about her/ his past is good but getting too deep is dangerous

I won't say it bad o,but somethings in the past are better left unsaid,because when you think I'll be able to handle it well,I might not,Another thing i observed some people use it against the other.......


If you can't handle it don't search for it

darkmarky:


have you never been in a chronic conflict? when one is angry and in rage he/she can spill anything!

Absolutely! In fact it happens without thinking about it. It is natural but one needs to be supernatural not to be caught in such!

dingbang:
yeah but we should face reality, these things happen!

Of course reality has to be faced!

dingbang:
my girlfriend

You sef get gf

firstking01:
You sef get gf

lol yes o

firstking01:

wetin

dingbang:
wetin

I single pass "i"

firstking01:
I single pass "i"

lol upon all d babes u don scout for nl, u no fit boast of one

dingbang:
lol upon all d babes u don scout for nl, u no fit boast of one

You know how it is na, soldier come soldier go, barracks remain

firstking01:
You know how it is na, soldier come soldier go, barracks remain

lol me I wan make my rship tey wella.

dingbang:
lol me I wan make my rship tey wella.

Tay you say?...forget that thingy abegi, if you are not ready to marry your relationship no go last, trust me.

firstking01:
Tay you say?...forget that thingy abegi, if you are not ready to marry your relationship no go last, trust me.

doesn't mean I'll be jumping from one bae to another. If I keep on sampling now am yet to marry, it won't b easy for me to stick to my wife wen i'm married

dingbang:
doesn't mean I'll be jumping from one bae to another. If I keep on sampling now am yet to marry, it won't b easy for me to stick to my wife wen i'm married

Hmmm, sure words from you...but i still think being faithful has to do with self discipline and not because you kept numerous gfs...marriage is not the samething as dating.

firstking01:
Hmmm, sure words from you...but i still think being faithful has to do with self discipline and not because you kept numerous gfs...marriage is not the samething as dating.

I would like to host u at my place sometime in January

dingbang:
I would like to host u at my place sometime in January

Hehehehehe