refiner:
Emperorlee!

Happy New Year, Refinery

BrooklynTheBully:






Happy New Year, Refinery

refiner:
Emperorlee!

EmperorLee:


Yes, Refiner

EmperorLee:
Due diligence? Naah, people change. I might have been a player all my life, what if at that moment, I am really ready to settle down ?

refiner:


Merry new year doooooorrrling!

Saw my mention yesterday?

No, I didn't Ma'am ... You probably mention the wrong moniker... Don't worry, I'll be back on my main soon

refiner:


Did u read the post before booking space?

Toks2008:


Lol! at least she will know the fact and it's up to you to promise her you will change.

Timelezz:
Due diligence has been jettisoned by the independence/freedom education and religion have handed to us.

Once kids leave home for higher education, they return home with emotional entanglement and a mindset of knowing more than their parents. Kids are so rebellious today they can sabotage their parents' efforts at investigating their prospective Partners. So dating and courtship still hold sway.

And then the church, you won't believe 85% of Nigerian girls ages of 21 to 35 still strut around their spiritual masters and seers inquiring who their marriage partners are. They will never accept for their parents to investigate anyone their pastor or seer has "proclaimed" as their divine partner.

That's how irrational and illogical girls can be. There goes due diligence as you put it.

Parents have been rendered powerless to investigate and have even an advisory role in most marriages of their kids.

EmperorLee:


Yes na . You wan carry FTC

EmperorLee:



Lol true though. Nice write up anyways.


Lalasticlala come make we epp you do due diligence for Berlynn. *PicksRace

Toks2008:


Oh is that lalastic's crush?

I have been wondering who he has eyes for on nairaland.

refiner:


...wickedness!

Toks2008:


Insightful...but it can still be done.

Timelezz:
It's a tough call ,Toks. The signs of the time is pointing towards individual freedom and more freedom for better or worse.

And history does not bear favourably on marriages done at the behest of parents. Some gave away their daughters/sons for the consolidation of material acquirement and financial rewards.

Media culture and the force of social media has made communication and relationship so easy and discrete, parents are genuinely intimidated.

Some parents do get so desperate they actually follow their kids into Facebook and other such platforms to steer them back into the paths of the good old ways.

I'm afraid it's a generational war of conventions and our parents lack the wherewithal to win this.

Toks2008:


Amazingly you kept hammering on the parents...

You can do due diligence without involving your parents.

Justeenaleo:
Both actually works, you do the courtship, when you think you are ready to settle due diligence can then follow, parents can then do that maybe.

Diplomaticbeing:
Meaningful due diligence cannot take place without courtship. However, long duration of courtship cannot guarantee effective due diligence. But achieving self-illumination before venturing into courtship will make one's due diligence an easy task. This is the importance of one knowing his/her ethical leanings first, before seeking for courtship. . . . Man know thyself!

In summary, the following should be the rightful steps:

- Self-illumination
- Courtship
- Due diligence

"Attitude is never a manifestation of an attribute." This is so because while tthe former can be learned or faked the latter is innate.

Toks2008:
COURTSHIP OR DUE DILIGENCE?

Estharfabian:
You're Misconstruing something.
Courtship should be platonic, Then, Dating usually isn't.

Well, I'd still Choose Dating, Courtship Over Due-Delligence(...whatever that means)...

In due-deligence, They have no context of who they are, past decision making or an idea of what they are looking for in a spouse...

The problem is that arranged marriage(Due-delligence) is not a good fit for Us. Most people value individual liberty more than life itself. Giving this most important decision to someone else is not something many of us are comfortable with.

How can you know what personality you fit well with if you don't DATE the other person? The result can be a mismatched couple and a marriage that is difficult to sustain.

Like allowing Parents or Any other Overgrown Adult to INVESTIGATE Someone I wanna spend my whole life with? Not only is it So Old-fashioned, It's Just ludicrous. I feel Like Dating allows you Really get to know someone, emotionally, physically, On a basis Due-deligence wouldn't.

forget the sexual gratification ish..we girls could handle Ourselves. so, your point on baseless sexual gratification is flawed. so, I'm sticking with Courtship, Sex and dating! Fück due-delligence!