Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,184,152 members, 7,922,853 topics. Date: Friday, 16 August 2024 at 01:53 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce (81745 Views)
Time To Divorce My Wife? / Nurse Set To Divorce Her Husband For Wanting To Pursue The Same Career As Hers / Man To Divorce His Wife In Ondo For Failing To Cook For Him. Photos (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (16) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Gfish: 11:47pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
guy when life thtows you lemons, turn them to lemonades. what i can deduce from your write up is financial frustration, lack of love and acceptance for your wife...or is her case worse than mama peace ( Ex-first lady)? but you can see how the husband stood by her, showed her love and respect and this helped to boost her confidence. what your wife needs from you is love and acceptance. take it that she may not match your intelligence level but there must be something she must be good at. you should try and identify what it is and encourage her to be happy as well. If she wants to trade, then let her start small. you dont have to invest the whole 1.5M for a start-up. that way she can learn while doing the business in a small way. its not a must to understudy someone else. Besides i will advise you take the chunk of that money and invest it on your own in a biz that can add to your income. you should be happy God has given you the brain and witts for two and a wife who is contented with it.....cheer up bro. divorce is bad for the kids! |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by chiefojiji(m): 11:47pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Billyonaire: obviously, you get sense! |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by mrZENographer: 11:48pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
wonukwuru: Come to The Lord's CHOSEN and God will mend your wife and give her a miracle. She will find interest in career and succeed in it. There are many testimonies as these. And i included. Don't divorce or marry a 2nd wife. DON'T. God will also restore the love for your wife. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by God2man(m): 11:50pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Sir, you have not mentioned the good things your wife has been doing to help you. I refuse to believe that your wife does nothing at home. What about cooking? It is too late to divource after 3 kids. Love your wife. That's all. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by gemale(m): 11:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Catalin:Sista chop knuckle. Ur head is dere. If 2 say man dey ready 2 settle down, I 4 find u try c if I fit marry u. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Rattle9: 11:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
To start wiv pls undermine the insults of some peeps over here..it neva counts.. Personally divorce is the worst decisión here and i suspect despite these odds u have mentioned u do love ur wife and she loves u very well in return..i wouldn't dwell in d mistakes u have made in the past but will focus on the way ahead.. Factually the method u have been using aren't working because u act with much muscular vigor and that countenance of being irritated.. i kwn women THIS NATURE, dont expect them to use their HEAD to think.or make use of reason.what u use for them is love, sometimes u call it wisdom.. She doesn't dress well..fine... try a good Christian boutique with a good female consultant to recommend some wears for her (you kwn her ideal taste by now.) Or take her shopping for clothes(birthdays anniversaries are good dates) sit close and let her make the damn good choice of clothes u like...u see it will work..she will like her self more and get used to it..always flatter her good looks very hard it will make this impression stricken in her.. watch out bro..its all about love.. and smile at her she will realize someday As for the educational aspect.am afraid we will have a bit of a struggle here because all effort for her to better herself educationally is been futile.. i will only recommend u provide some means for her to get good basic adult education so she can speak good english and write properly... the lesson teacher could be of help too.if she is willing and HUMBLE to learn.. am sure she will if u approach her very well..(pls leave the computer stuff or whatever educational pursuit for someother time abeg) If she is a full time house wife which am not a fan of..u can either ask of of what bizness plan she has in mind and to install discipline she must start small scale wiv small capital.. and u must vist her bizness and be supportive to the best of ur ability so u can monitor her or i recommend "YOU GET" a nursery or primary private school teaching job for her.. as she teaches she learns.. it will help.. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by djojo(m): 11:51pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
Boss u shouldn't expect all responds u get from NL to be a mature ones cos apart from the fact that we have many teens some adults actually behave like kids. Sir, I see u as an academic minded person so as u want ur family to be, I know u are the type of father that won't allow ur kids to try anything outside academic. U are complaining that ur wife is this and that,while someone else posted on NL that his wife spend lavishly on exotic things. Sir, u av to take ur wife for who she is and not what u want her to be. Education is not for everybody so forget about the fact that u still want her to do any course. U are a very busy type who don't av time to joke nor talk to ur wife but u are always on hard tone communicating with her. Get her ur prefer cloths tell her to try it out and don't let her feel inferior, form a story and tell her u need intelligent advice from her, and sometimes while talking to her try to input English in ur communications. Pls do not divorce her since she is not wayward type |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:53pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
DukeNija: Then he needs to be a smart player, dont take a particular girl serious, but call them on demand, and go to events with the best angels that money can lease (lol) if he is a smart player. He can actually make the family very wealthy by investing on the wife's business ideas big time. Get her sales girls and even cashiers while the husband does his 9-5 slave work. Besides, it was not even a good idea for both of them to be employees. This is an opportunity for him to own a business while enjoying the best ladies that money can pay for. If the OP is ashamed of the kind of business she wants to do. then expand it to something great and make something out of the predicament. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BaEnki(m): 11:53pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
@wonukwuru may be too young to comment here, but I've got few things to say, firstly, you didn't just married to your wife today, your marriage is going to 10years now, so you didn't just notice these "abnormalities" now, including her dressing which you likened to a 60years old granny, so you've been able to put up with all those through out these years, why the twist up now? Looking at your lamentations, they aren't new things to you as you've been couples for so long and I believed that you guys also had some courtship, having said that, its obvious you are fed up with your wife attitudes which so many things might be responsible for. My advice for you is non-religion as l practice none, and the most important reason for us living is to have peace and give peace, if your divorce will give both of you peace, go to the court of law and blow it. Humans behaviours are complex strings, so difficult to break or modify. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by gemale(m): 11:55pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
baby124:Or go hospital go do vasectomy. Na dt 1 sure pass. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:56pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
gemale:Sorry dear, I'm taken. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:57pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
chiefojiji: There is no problem without a solution, I always think of solutions without the limitations of morality according to religion. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:57pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
That woman is not as bad as you paint her to be! She is not intelligent! She's not the school type, but she takes care of the kids well, aside educational aspect. You dont need to open a 1.5 million Naira biz for her, just open one small biz and see how she manages it. Let the home teacher continue his job. Buy her sophisticated clothes if u want her to dress that way. Don't divorce that woman! At least becos of ur kids. A lot of guys(working class) don't even want their wives to work. Just stay home and take care of my kids. This is really not an issue bro. A lot of nairalanders have advised u rightly........Handle it the best way! Good luck |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BaEnki(m): 11:57pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
[quote author=Billyonaire post=52508897] Hello Billyonaire, I like your posts. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by millyj(f): 11:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
[sup][/sup] maxti: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:59pm On Jan 03, 2017 |
@BaEnki Thanks, but I can assure you there are others you wont like. When that happens, re-evaluate your principles and like them more |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 12:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Dis Story Dy Touch Ma Soul |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by cococandy(f): 12:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Na lie I talk? Some men believe that men should provide whike women stay home to have babies and and keep the home. AKA traditional marriage roles. This woman would have made a perfect wife for such a man. PaperLace: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by toksbisola: 12:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
@Op; quit being a PRIMA DONNA. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK; a time bomb is ticking on when you’re going to cheat on your wife; it’s just a matter of time. I won’t be surprised if you already have a lady you are eyeing outside hence the divorce strategy up your sleeve. Ever heard the saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink”. You didn't even say your wife cheated on you, was rude, violet, nags, un-kempt, lazy or doesn't look after the kids and yet you want to divorce her. Rather than you to cherish her good side and work on her flaws, you rather divorce her. You saw all her flaws and still went ahead and married her (10 YEARS DOWN THE LINE) and now that you can’t stand the flaws, you want to divorce your wife that already has 3 kids for you and another one (to make 4) is on the way due shortly, for all these things you mentioned that can be fixed with good communication with your wife; you really think that’ll be the best way forward. By the way, FORGET THAT STATEMENT YOU MADE THAT YOUR WIFE DELIBERATELY TOOK IN; AS YOU BOTH CREATED THE SOON TO ARRIVE LITTLE ONE. Permit me asking this question, how would you feel if someone constantly criticizes you? Due to your constant annoyance and criticism at your wife ((not hard to spot that as you are becoming a constant nag) (no offense, hope none taken)), you’ve made her feel inferior to you especially in the area of your literacy and polished way of going about your stuff; Oh please give her a break and quit chocking her. You’re also rubbing salt into her wound by constantly referring to her not being literate enough; oh pleeeeease. You talk as if you yourself are Mr 100% perfect and have no flaws. Listen up dude, I'm sure your wife is putting up with your fault/flaws without blowing your trumpet as loud as you’re blowing hers. If your wife were to make a list of your short-comings, it’ll be as long as my arm but yet, she manages yours and probably don’t complain so much as you’re whining about hers. I can just imagine the agony and pains your wife’s going through as you constantly barrage and correct her over frivolity. Although you've mentioned sending her to further her education; what happens if she’s still not polished enough for you and able to articulately speak the MICHELLE OBAMA/QUEENS’ ENGLISH AS YOU WANT? Would that not irritate you and even compound the situation even more? Best believe, she can be sent to school but still not be polished enough for you and THAT’LL REMAIN A PROBLEM. THAT SAID, SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL, SO STOP FORCING HER TO DO SO. The imperfections that a spouse has are what make them unique. Family planning For the family planning, you can always go and have other methods done. For you, you can go and have a vasectomy after all it’s not only women that should under-go strenuous family planning methods. Business As she doesn’t want a white-collar job, then why not set her up with a business that she’s comfortable doing and not the one you want to force down her throat. She’s told you what she wants, then work with her to achieve it and stop whining. Dressing If you are tired of her wearing old cloths, then why don’t both of you go to a boutique together and pick some nice lady-like cloths for her? Better still, you can as well pack all her old over 60’s clothing and get ride of them in her absence since you so much detest them. Lesson learnt 1) Never marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out. 2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond (and best believe challenges would arise) that the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES. Finally, you better don’t inflict unnecessary regrets on yourself on what you could have fixed. Communicate with your wife and see how you can assist her to manage her flaws with love and not with anger and avoid stories that touch. BETTER STILL, GO FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELLING TO HELP YOU BOTH REASON ON PAR. I rest my case 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BaEnki(m): 12:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Billyonaire: Concerning him getting new damsel according to his specs, I'll call that a wrong move. You said he shouldn't divorce because of religion morality and still give him the option of fornication! Haba sir, if he's tired with the relationship, he should let it go and get his specs damsel, instead of being disloyal, life isn't fixed neither is a marriage a shackle. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Dicksonpal: 12:04am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Y u sef marry ex olosho 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BaEnki(m): 12:07am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Billyonaire: Hehehe I'm checking your profile and truly your posts in religion and education section I so much loves. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BaEnki(m): 12:08am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Dicksonpal: Wetin qualify am as Olosho? |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by popy35: 12:09am On Jan 04, 2017 |
wonukwuru:Sir first of all don't forget your vows were for better or worse. This is your worse and whatever happens God will hold you accountable in the end. If you divorce her, your kids will be affected psychological y and there is nothing you will be able to do about it, they will hate you for it and you will not even know. To the issue of your wife, she needs to take responsibility more for her life. Like someone suggested buy her sexy outfits and absolutely insist she wears only them in the house. Make education fun for her, like a child look for things that get her attention and use it to teach her how fun learning is. Divorce should never be an option. Make a new strategy and move on from there, it means the one you are using is not working. and don't forget to do it in love. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 12:11am On Jan 04, 2017 |
BaEnki: Your advise is morally wrong, because the wife has not cheated on him, which is the only ground for divorce according to you religeous guys, and I believe it is still based on the lenses of religious periscope that you assert that getting a damsel is wrong. The common factor outside the two wrongs are the kids. Kids are involved. When you divorce, you damage your kids psychologically. I will never advise any parents to damage the minds of kids by divorcing. I believe a son or a daughter will feel more comfortable knowing that the Dad is a womanizer instead of knowing that the Dad left them on the account that their mother is illiterate. It is unforgivable. It is the real sin. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by kanttiinn: 12:12am On Jan 04, 2017 |
carammel:so disgusting and disappointed, what support is D's. I pity any man who will be coming for u with D's myopic nature of u 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by egbabiekperemo1: 12:12am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Billyonaire: Get behind me, devil |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Familyfirst: 12:13am On Jan 04, 2017 |
wonukwuru:You will need to see a counsellor together. I saw something like this on www.familyparliament.com May be you should visit the site for more help. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 12:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
egbabiekperemo1:Finally, someone recognizes who I am. But let me ask you. This is an illustration, dont take it personal. If you grew up without a Dad and you ask your mum while your Dad divorce and left you guys. And her response is that your Dad divorce her because she is illiterate, how will you feel ? Then compare to knowing that your Dad comes home every weekend but has a girlfriend. Listen, this is the core reason many men womanize. It is not actually because their wives can not write, it is because most wives have failed the calibration that their husbands expected. That is why they find in other women, what their wives lack. This is why prostitution is the most lucrative untaxed industry in the world. Thanks for calling a Devil once again. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by AbuMikey(m): 12:18am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Kagawa10: 12:20am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Billyonaire: You're not smart. If you were, you would realise the man is already complaining about financial constraints and it's one of the reasons he's getting tired of the marriage as well as the continual addition of kids yet you want him to go spend his few money on a whorre outside? You should have probably told him to neglect his household and lavish on a LovePeddler who would probably give him another kid that he doesn't seem to want. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Lamique(f): 12:22am On Jan 04, 2017 |
[/color] Catalin: Very sound advice.In addition to the quoted, OP you should consider having yourself neutered.You already have all the kids you could ever want right? I say this because if the 9month haul is a tool for her,she could opt in & out of any family planning method on a whim. As for her dressing,does your wife have sisters? Talk to them...sisters can get across to her about that better than you ever could...just provide the clothes.That's not to say you should totally go against her own preference...especially in terms of extent of coverage.Some people simply aren't comfortable in 'too revealing' outfits so meet her halfway. About the business,is there any marketable skill,she is interested in learning? Maybe you should give that a try in addition to the small scale business.There has to be something she has a passion for...find it. In all of this,I guess what we are saying is,your concerns are still a long way from having divorce as an option...at least for your kids' sake.And yes,manner of approach matters a lot.[color=#770077] |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (16) (Reply)
Nigerian Man Married To 57 Women,150 Grandchildren (Photo) / Upside Down Marriage / Nigerian Man Shares Unclad After-sex Picture Of Himself And Wife
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 151 |