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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce (81438 Views)
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Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 4:39am On Jan 04, 2017 |
@op I really need to add dt ur immature & insecure urself. If ur secure within urself, u wouldn't care what others thought of ur wife. They will treat her exactly d way u treat her. Either wt respect or wt disdain. By d time she attends a couple of events wt u she will eventually change her dressing herself. All this inferiority ur feeling is happening in ur own shallow minded head. I'll give u an example of my parents. My dad is very well educated - schooled in d US, a doctor & a state medical board president. My mum doesn't speak good English. In fact I had to seriously tutor her for her US naturalization tests, but they have a very happy marriage. They go everywhere together, conferences, parties, vacations wt other couples .etc. they ALL respect my mum because my dad adores her. There are many situations my dad tells her to help him wt patients or their families cos she's so warm & has a smile & innocence dt works like magic. Everyone loves her immediately. Too many benefits to count. When I was younger, we would all laugh when she "tabon's", my dad is d one dt tells us to stop laughing. She will also say it's our job to teach her & would laugh about it. They've bn together since they were students & he had nothing. And she has 3 kids - a doctor, a financial analyst & a chartered accountant. So no, she didn't raise dumb children. Bros please fall bk in love wt ur wife. It's ur love and support dt will make her blossom right before ur eyes. As someone said earlier, no one is useless. Ur so funny though - as if English means anything in China, Germany or France? Who English epp? 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 5:12am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Catalin:U really made sense. He possibly followed the TRAILS OF BEAUTY. I guess ur wife is very pretty... There are so many pretty LADIES that are unintelligent. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 5:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
janellemonae:Well said. The man is talking as if he never came across all these during courtship. I guess he was blinded by BEAUTY...... Now BEAUTY has faded away.... Breasts are now sagging gracefully. I will not forgive his wife, if she can't speak her NATIVE LANGUAGE. AFTER all ENGLISH is not the most popular Language of the world 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by ificatchmodeh: 5:18am On Jan 04, 2017 |
lofty900:nairaland hehehe.. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by 2shur: 5:19am On Jan 04, 2017 |
im sure ure the rype that posted pre wedding stupid pix. baba leave dah side na 4better 4 worse. wen i tell fools dnt let a pussiy lead u2 penury una go wan cum ah ahbaby i wan 2cum ah ah i love u. ahhhhhhbbb I'm cumin aaahhhhhhh i will marry u i must marry u. fools u don see na mumu illiterate bich na im u marry. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by oshorstan(m): 5:34am On Jan 04, 2017 |
I am very fazed at how some men behave . First of all Sir, You're very wrong to bring up your wife's weakness to the media. Two, You hate your children by considering divorce which God personally hates. Three, You blame her for deliberately getting pregnant, Sir, With all due respects to u, You're very wrong to say that, She's only performing her procreative duties which u perceive as crime in the manner you see as coercive. Four, Your wife's grammatical discrepancies isn't an issue at all, you can live with her if she chooses to stay without upgrading, I have seen countless men who marry very stark illiterate because of a certain trait in them, pls focus on your wife's positive & major on them. As for the dressing, its very simple, Buy her very skimpy wears & tell her to try it on one day and compliment her. As for the pregnancy stuff, since you have your limits , visit the doctor for family planning contraceptive methods ideal for her. My mum is an illiterate but my dad graduated from Manchester, he loves her so dearly because of her good character. Five, Monitor her business, give her the money in bits, encourage her to go for feasibility study, you both read accounting now. You can employ a help to assist her in her shop. Don't alienate your kids from your wife because she can't speak English, The kids have sch teachers & lesson help. Lastly, Don't ever embarrass her again, it kills her confidence & personality. don't report her to anyone , you can work on her, trust me, be her number mentor n be her number one fan. Say no to Divorce I beg you. For further advise, contact me via whatsapp 08138188962. Stay blessed sir 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by dspeaker(m): 5:34am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Divorce is not an option. I think as per the business she wants to go into I will advise you invest like 500k to understudy her performance before adding more money. For her dressing you can be her designer by choosing the design and the type of clothes to buy for her. She is obviously not the school type but I am positive she will do well in business if you can give her that chance to prove herself. Thank you. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by bmxshop: 5:43am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Mr Man grow up, not every post is meant for the public. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 5:46am On Jan 04, 2017 |
mctowel01: She feels the man cant do nothing about her.... She's so mentally poor and she's not ready to improve. The man should just hope non of the kids takes after her. My parents always told me and they still tell me till date, NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH AN UNINTELLIGENT WOMAN....JUST FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR KIDS. BN INTELLIGENT IS MOSTLY HEREDITARY. Op fell in love, the love blinded him from seeing the bad side of his then wife-to-be. Now...e don clear from ein eyes. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by DropShot: 6:02am On Jan 04, 2017 |
lofty900:This is very true and very funny at the same time. 10000000000 likes joor. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by drmuri(m): 6:03am On Jan 04, 2017 |
My brother divorce is not the best option here. Remember the kids (the unborn one inclusive). Do not dwell on the negatives alone, sit down and cogitate about her positive aspect. She may not been an academic guru or fashionista but is she the submissive type; does she accord your parent and siblings their due respect? Is she faithful to you or jumps from one bed to the other? I know men who are married to highly successful career ladies who dress gorgeously but are passing through hell in their marriage. Remember the greatest harm you can do to your children is raising them in broken home. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by oribi(m): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2017 |
e no easy |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Dicksonpal: 6:06am On Jan 04, 2017 |
BaEnki:Ex olosho |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by sisisioge: 6:07am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Hmmmmm ...All these people castigating the OP, I pray you never get saddled with people who give you gloom! She can't work, can't represent family well, can't dress well, can't plan well, can't teach the kids....Fooooork! This is gloooomy dude! What's so highended about asking your partner to be a better person, supportive and in agreement with you? Husband and wife should be able to plan a family nau! Do family planning Biko! Do your part to contribute or care for yourself! Whew! I wish the OP good luck. Peeps with stories like his are the reason I take my time to ensure I jive with the other person...Can't deal sheet mehn! Unintelligent people are guilty of a crime against humanity 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by oribi(m): 6:08am On Jan 04, 2017 |
oshorstan: very good advice was pleased with it but sometimes he who wears the shoe knows the pain 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by bezimo(m): 6:09am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Oh God, which kain woman be that.Na wa oh. Your marriage need devine intervention and your wife need help and a very strong orientation badly.Who are her friends? I hear if a person marry a dumb woman, the dumbness will likely be transferred to the kids.That shall not be your portion.Anen |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nanaiky(f): 6:16am On Jan 04, 2017 |
@ OP can I ask what attracted you to her in the first place and how did you guys meet. I am sorry to say this, the signs (illiteracy and non-nonchalant attitude about life goals) were there before you get married. these are always not hidden. It goes back to my beloved saying that guys keep marrying the ladies/women they don't want their daughters to become. Don't divorce her, you are her meal ticket and she's committed to you. Just 'deal' cope with it. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Henryfour(m): 6:17am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Kellibae:best advice so far ,u r a gud person, I want to add DT he cud give her 200000 out of 1.5 so she can start small if she manages DT one well u can now add more money, dnt divorce ur wife buy her d kind of clothe u wud want Ber wear |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by wonukwuru(m): 6:20am On Jan 04, 2017 |
melejo: My dear, thanks for your comment, but I must let you know that, in my house house, I have reasonable books that can help her improve her speaking skills, but she just dont want to read them. I even bought "Brighter Grammer" volume 1 to 4 and handed over to her but she would not read them. My library is full of different books that anybody can read. Guys, you may not understand. Its not as if i want her to be extraordinary or super human over night, the truth is that she is not making any effort to improve. Remember the saying that says "you can only take a horse to river, but you cannot force a horse to drink water". God knows, I have tried to see that i "brush" her up to a certain level. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by ogawisdom(m): 6:22am On Jan 04, 2017 |
wonukwuru: You are not sharp to be observing dt she is an olodo nw. It takes me only two contacts to kw an intelligent lady. It is common nowadays our graduates are terrible in written and spoken English esp HND holders. I jst dropped one I am dating BC her written English is terrible disaster. My bro it's for better or for worse manage her 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by saajus: 6:24am On Jan 04, 2017 |
We all always make mistake by thinking higher institution equate to intelligence. You are in this and I want you to work it out. If it's not beyond all you've said, I believe it can work out. Stay put but try different strategies. Find out what motivates your wife. First, go down to her level and then bring her to your level..Please, be humble enough to do that.Don't try to change anything about her again. Women don't change when we keep complaining. If she dresses anyhow, go out with her and be very proud of her. If she decided to eat at 'Iya Shaki' restaurant instead of KFC, go with her. Everything you've been complaining about, stop them. Remember, when you are in her status, that is not you. You went low to bring her up. If you don't go to her level, you won't understand her view of life..When you understand her views very well, you will change her. This method is not "2 mins instant noodles". It could take a year but u will see result.. wonukwuru: 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by YemyTemmy: 6:27am On Jan 04, 2017 |
MHEN.....................NKAN BE!!..STANGE BUT TRUE @op...this is a NATIONAL ISSUE ooo, and should not be discussed only on nairaland but should be taken to senate. But on a serious note...i feel your pain, try and explore all avenues to upgrade her...if unupgradable, do the needful abeg!!! |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by buchai: 6:34am On Jan 04, 2017 |
ops my advice with you is this, do not divorce your wife see what you need to do is this buy OUR DAIRY MANNER (ODM) this January - March edition use it in your morning and evening devotion say the prayers that follow the study I believe your wife will change guide her allow her to be the one conducting the prayer through there you guide her help with better understanding after going through a sentence in the write up I believe by the time this year runs half your wife will speak good English better than you try me on this one. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by citadels(f): 6:35am On Jan 04, 2017 |
for better for worse brother.
thank you. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by diva90: 6:36am On Jan 04, 2017 |
Why do you need a divorce? It's not like u caught her cheating or doing something abominable or unbearable. U have been with this woman for almost 10 years. If divorce was to be an option, it should have been prior to kids or in the very early years. My advice to you is to involve a member of the family that she listens to, to talk to her, possibly her parents as well. Let them know how exactly you feel. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by kollyp2000(m): 6:40am On Jan 04, 2017 |
tolulinks: Best advise yet. Apply the above to the letter and you can never go wrong. Make a conscious effort to increase her self-esteem and you won't worry of her disgracing you in public. Gain her confidence and she will share her SMS, letter with you before sending, correct them with love and without prejudices. Gradually her improvement will amaze you. I will not advice home trainer immediately because this will cause her to think you want to ridicule her and all other efforts will be wasted. On business, I tell you she refused to understudy the experienced ones because of the way you presented it. Take action that shows you support her all the way by getting her a shop at an area of her chosen. Then you may advise her to try a month tutelage before starting. To burst your bubbles a little, 1.5 is not a big money in that business, don't commonise food business please. Its a viable alternate source of income in my home. Last word of advise- whether she went through tutelage or not, you will lose your first investment. Its not a curse, its principle of business and not her fault, so consider that a training period. Don't let that deter you. But don't put in all the money. Trust her for the second investment and give her the freedom but dont stop the loving advise in her business and personal life. Also, not all shining stones are gold. Many so-called learned women out there have worse traits. Learn to celebrate your wife. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by holluwai(m): 6:44am On Jan 04, 2017 |
There's is not worse than a bad marriage. Op I feel your pain and mainly because I'm pretty much experiencing the same thing, like people have suggested please pray about it and pray for her because you guys already have 3 kids(does that include the pregnancy) which will make divorce the next best option hard except you're pushed to the wall. I know how hard it is, I pray you find that solution your heart desires. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Sike(m): 6:45am On Jan 04, 2017 |
OP, this Your cross e heavy, I cannot carry. Sorry |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 6:45am On Jan 04, 2017 |
janellemonae: So having kids is now a job that will put food on the table. Interesting. |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Miketerlex: 6:45am On Jan 04, 2017 |
My brother, marriage is for better for worst. You have to adjust your thought, accept what you have seen first, then gradually try to modify it with words of encouragements then you will see changes |
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by cosade(m): 6:47am On Jan 04, 2017 |
wonukwuru: My brother, a lot of NLers have rightly advised you and I wish to add my voice. In as much as there is no infidelity issue, please continue to do the best you can to "upgrade" her. For the sake of your children, do not divorce. |
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