Kaleydd2000:
I do love her(wife) so much. I met a lady sometimes ago who was giving me all sorts and go 3/4 rounds and i enjoy it but my conscience prick me each time and i really wanna stop, though stopped for sometime now but i still wish to f**k other gals sometimes still.

sexymoma:
@Thecob do you know i finally found out he has another babe and he s been dating this lady for like a year now.
my problem now is, he never stops calling me, i've even stopped calling or show some kind of affections since the day i found out he has someone else, buh he'll always tell me i've changed, i've changed,ain't as caring as before, as a matter of fact, to my findings, this lady sleeps in his place mon-fri, if u check my prev chat with you, i told you he doesn't pick calls at night kindoff.

i just wnted you to tell me he s cheating on me, i already knew even before i chat you up..
well your advice was good enough!!

O0ni:


Breh, the emboldened describes me years back until some months ago.

It seems clearly one sided & you need to either get her to replicate it (voluntarily & genuinely) or you find a way to turn down the mental attachment.

Why do I say this? It may get to a stage where she'd want to check you with the wrongest things and give you the option to go or live with it.

I was told something a while back, let me attempt a rephrase: 'I don't have to explain my relationship with any guy to you. I can have any relationship I want with anybody & it is nobody's business' then to top it off 'you can go if you want to go'.

Boy, I would normally go from 0-100 real quick & never took sh?t from her but I only thought to be more sensitive & bend over for her as much as possible but I realized the more I did it, the more I heard & got the strangest treatments.

That was the last sentence she made & I flipped, no calls & texts. I see various missed calls & texts but man I just have to stop compromising my position or let her go.

Oh, I remember trying to hold a convo about the relationship that should deepen after many years and I got 'I'm no longer interested in committment and seriousness', I asked why she's trying to damage the whole thing & I was seriously hurt she said 'you're being dramatic, man up & put relationship aside'. There's so much more but all of these happened just because I let down my guard to enable her see I can be very very sensitive. None of these happened prior to me letting my guard down completely though.

Uncle, get yourself together. Ladies generally do not appreciate makes who doesn't toughen up.

mediocre:
Nice thread. Do you think its possible to fall in love more than once? I do not.

I have been in relationships, moved on. That's the normal thing to do right. Never imagined someone would have me stop wrapped around her fingers like this one. I'm just not the type, to fall for someone like that.

when we started dating, i just imagined it was going to be the same. I knew i liked her, but i wasn't exactly the faithful type.


Slowly she became part of me. We've had fights, even breakups but i always go back to beg, even when its clearly her fault. Every single time i always go back begging, not that i enjoy it of course but i would die without her. I would literally die. She knows this and she takes advantage of it. Sometimes she would get me angry ( sometimes i think she does it on purpose), we wouldn't talk for days, I'd be expecting her to apologise but she wouldn't. I would be forced to call her to try and fix things. It's .stupid.


Some people will think i have low self esteem and think i can't get any other girl. This is not true. I'm actually quite a catch, I've gotten advances from a number of girls but turned them down. Because i can't see myself with someone else, the thought of it just drives me insane. The thought of her with someone else makes me want to die.

I know she doesn't love me as much, sometimes i wonder if she loves me at all but she says she does. I don't believe in magic or juju or any other supernatural thing actually but sometimes i wonder if she " gave me something to eat" Lol. When she shows the slightest affection (which is quite rare), like giving me a peck in public or holding my hand or saying she loves me, it's like I'm going to burst. Out of joy, pure joy.

I hate that I love her this much, I've tried to fall out of love, didn't work so what's a guy to do...

O0ni:


Lol

I felt some relief finding out her drama was as a result of being involved but the continuous lying gets to me. Why can't people just own up to whatever the fruck they're doing?

It makes me feel like I'm some type of idiot that she tells me she wants the relationship of many years still but seeing some other guy lowkey & sticking him in as dps. This is aside the instagram comments & many photos on her phone.

I just don't like people when they lie.

I've stopped calling & texting too since I saw these things, I think she got the message as well & has tried to reach out but the damage is done.

Sigh.

TheCOB:


Sorry about your hurt. I'm glad you finally decided your were better than being a "Plan B"

Don't stop believing in love though....one would find you when and where you least expect it to

O0ni:

TheCOB:


You want to stop believing in love?

O0ni:


I really don't know.
Doing a mental play back of how my relationship began, things said and the intensity of emotions, I wonder what love is about.

TheCOB:
Top of the day guys!

How are you doing? Kingl.ekan, Cplu.sJaso.n, Jays on1, howdy

Hi TheCOB ...Happy New Year!

I'm doing very well and you?

kinglekan:


Hi TheCOB ...Happy New Year!

I'm doing very well and you?

TheCOB:


Where there is a will.......

The most important thing is that you want to stop. Identifying the need to stop is a key factor in actually stopping. But it only does as much as it can. Next, you need to examine why you want to stop. Is it because of the guilt? Or because you are convinced that your actions are wrong?

If you don't feel it as wrong in your gut, it becomes easier to fall prey. Because after some time of repeated affairs, your conscience would become sensitised to the adultery and stop feeling guilty, it thus becomes easier to sin.


So first of all, Try to think and tell me: what are your true reasons why you want to stop cheating on ur wife? Please feel free to say as many reasons as there are

Kaleydd2000:
Thanks COB, for your responses so far. I wanna stop not because i don't enjoy it but because my wife is not happy and i also fear for unwanted disease/pregnancy. Moreover, one can't be too sure the other lady wont be doing something behind to hold unto me and in addition is my conscience and knowing the fact that God frowns at it.I want to be free inside and outside.

TheCOB:
Top of the day guys!

How are you doing? Kinglek..an, CplusJason, Jayson1, howdy

CplusJason:
Good morning TheCOB,

I'm doing great.


Happy New year.

TheCOB:


Thanks Boss

CplusJason:
I hope the chicken you promised me is still available for collection?

TheCOB:


Ehwooooo I promised you chicken? I can't remember o

How about we have that talk you are owing me - this time as a treat from me

TheCOB:


I agree with you.

But here's the point I'm trying to make for instance:
A lack of good communication would not break-up a relationship. It is the assumption embedded therein that would destroy the relationship.

If a couple notices that there's a loophole in their communication and fixes it, they avoid negative assumptions and thus save their relationship.

However, if they ignore communication, mostly due to assumptions or other reasons, negative assumptions creep in to further rotten the relationship.

So I'm not discrediting all other factors as lesser relationship issues. I'm saying the main culprit is the Negative Assumptions which is in itself borne out of a host of reasons including assuming things.

For instance,
A man could assume that his wife should know that he is busy and thus not categorically tell her as u have mentioned above. This in turn like you said, would give birth to negative assumptions, further sour the communication flow.... And culminate in a breakup

CplusJason:
Cool then.

TheCOB:


Ehwooooo I promised you chicken? I can't remember o

How about we have that talk you are owing me - this time as a treat from me

TheCOB:


Your reasons are fair enough.

Next step is:

What do you think can be done to stop?

Kaleydd2000:
on my onw i've tried not to call the girl again, also not seeing porn again, careful about the sites i see online and also prays. However, as the pro, let me have ur suggestions pls.

TheCOB:


Thanks Boss! New year, new Signature-colour?

I'm doing great too. Thanks for responding

Lol @new colour

So what do you have for us this year? I thought you were also planning on sharing some personal experiences for us to learn from?

kinglekan:


Lol @new colour

So what do you have for us this year? I thought you were also planning on sharing some personal experiences for us to learn from?

TheCOB:


I was... Nobody seemed interested in hearing it na

You're wrong.. Some of us are. Well I'm very interested in hearing though.

kinglekan:


You're wrong.. Some of us are. Well I'm very interested in hearing though.

TheCOB:


Lolz okay I'd try to pen something down after close of work today. Watch out for it

Awesome!

kinglekan:


Awesome!

TheCOB:

I was... Nobody seemed interested in hearing it na