Can He Marry Me? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Can He Marry Me? by Immee(f): 2:24pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Matured advise only pls. My bf broke up with me early last year and yet to be in another as I'm yet to get over it completely. Also maybe because I'm yet to be convinced by another person. November last year, I met a guy trough a friend. We've been friends since then and has requested we start a relationship though yet to accept him cos he's not literate. He told me he's from a polygamous family, his mother died when he was a kid and was deprived of schooling after his secondary education. Honestly this guy is so caring but my concern is he's not ready to further his studies and also not ready for marriage since he doesn't have a job. I'm in my early 30, a graduate and also in for my higher studies with a job as well. I'm not desperate to get married but my fear is will this guy be ever ready to be married even if I offer to sponsor through school or should I just leave him |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Lionbite(m): 2:26pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Sweetheart, first of all acknowledge the fact that your ex is not coming back again except if you want to go back and beg him which i dont approve. Now the issue of the caring illiterate-- DONT MARRY HIM, you deserve better you can sponsor his education just for charity but dont get your hopes high about marriage cos i can guarantee you he will find a sexier girl in whatever institution he gets in. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by daben1(m): 2:27pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
You don't even know what you want... It's a pity! 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Afriifa(m): 2:28pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee:why not propose to him? Don't mind the nigerian culture of a thing, just go ahead and do it. If he says yes, GBAM!! 2 Likes |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Nobody: 2:29pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Please and please don't offer to sponsor him through school till you guys are married, if he perceive desperation where you are then you are ruined for life for he will use you and dump you. 3 Likes |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Nobody: 2:31pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee:Well, you can keep hope alive. True love supersedes all but remember that you ain't getting any younger. 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by daben1(m): 2:32pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
You are in your early 30s and you're yet to start a relationship because the guy is not literate... When you get to your early 40s you'll have no choice than to marry a deaf and dumb. 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Nobody: 2:32pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Catalin:gbam ds bae spoke my mind...mke she no even tink to train am for skul 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Immee(f): 2:35pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
[/color][color=#990000] daben1: I know what I want dear. But hey no crime in seeking advice. This is a guy I would have loved to date on a normal ground but that fact that he's not educated is the barrier. 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by daben1(m): 2:35pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Catalin:you girls think it's all men that will ''use and dump'' you. Keep waiting for the one that will write i ''will not use and dump you'' on his forehead 3 Likes |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by banme(m): 2:37pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
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| Re: Can He Marry Me? by daben1(m): 2:37pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee:i thought they say ''love is blind''? |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Immee(f): 2:55pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
[color=#990000][/color] daben1: I guess u did not read the write up very well. This is somebody who has got only secondary school certificate, he has no job and not even willing to further his education. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Rapmaestro(m): 3:31pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee:then he ain't your Mr Right... Forget caring... Anyone can do that 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Nobody: 3:36pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
The answer is really simple. Its your choice. There really is a different between book education and life education; book smart vs life smart etc. Because he didnt get his education or smartness from four walls of institution does not mean he is not smart or educated. A lot of non higher school educated folks are actually genuises in their own rights. Einstein, steve Jobs comes to mind. If his education or lack of it supersedes what you feel or what you both have then........ do the needful. Respect his choices. And let him find someone who will appreciate him as is. Didnt know education trumps love but.... to each his or her own. Btw: can you have an intelligent conversation with him? As in maybe not perfect english but he can express himself, make intelligent contributions? If he can communicate clearly and intelligently, make sound and smart decisions, then I would hesitate about judging him on this lack of institutionalized edu-ma-cation. My opinion. Pick your battles. 1 Like |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by megareal: 3:40pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
If he was willing to get an education, I would say try it. But in all honesty, you are not compatible. He's illiterate and jobless with no desire to advance, you are the opposite. Most illiterate guys tend to be very caring until they get you, then their insecurities surfaces and they begin to choke you with their inferiority complex. Don't ever be in a hurry to settle for less . Don't even date him else you may find it hard to escape. Go on with your life. A better man than your ex is coming. Good luck. 3 Likes |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Splinz(m): 3:42pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee: Someone has a secondary school certificate and you called him an illiterate? What do you understand by the word "illiterate"? Anyways, lets just say the issue is that the said guy doesn't want to further his education, simple! So my advice is this. If you know you wouldn't be able to cope with his level of education, since it's obvious he doesn't want to further, then simply take a walk. 2 Likes |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by naijamakossa(m): 3:47pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
idgaf
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| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
megareal: Ok. Jobless for now. But no condition is permanent. I think you have to know this individuals drive, motivation and character before you condemn him as useless. He has no desire to go to further his education, but perhaps he has other desires to build something for himself from his god given gifts or his innate talent. You know what i mean? You have to learn to see beyond the superficilities. Education does not give you jobs or a trade necessarily, it is just a paper to proove you spent loads and went to school. Inner drive and motivation, guts and resilence is what gives success. And those things, school cannot teach and books cannot impart. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by jakandeola(m): 3:59pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
if one tin I can tell u one neva eva married an illitrate. u are educated and is a problem in marriage cos ur sence is different. neva send ur lover to school. I use myself as example. I loved a girl and train her to school but she was a demon. if u tried that u will regret it, cos when he make money he will forget ur effort. is ur guy ibo? |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by ikp120(m): 4:44pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Oya confess: are you in love with him already?  |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by idu1(m): 5:22pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Immee: You are calling someone who finished secondary school an illitrate because he didn't go university? You don't have sense!! !! |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by firstking01(m): 5:23pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Hmmm, what a good girl, where are your types  … |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by queencalipso(f): 6:20pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
My dear op!! A secondarian is not an illiterate but the problem here is him refusing to further, what kind of trade is he into or does he desire to do, what kind of job will he get with a school cert, what are your visions in life, can he support that vision despite not being educated? See my dear, being with someone who's not institutionalised is not the problem but the inferiority complex that follows it.. More so, he's not ready for marriage and he's not sure when he will be. Have you bothered to ask him what he wants to do since he does not want to further? Engage him dear, ask him questions about what he wants for him self, he's responses should determine your decision.. Don't be with someone bcz you feel there's no more time, semi-literate people can be something else in r/ship/ marriage, they always feel threatened by every little action hence their nagging attitude. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by rawpadgin(m): 6:41pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
the poster above me have said it all |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by vedah: 6:46pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
queencalipso:  Well said. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Cornerstone2020(m): 6:56pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
Please don't propose to him or act desperate If you want to marry him marry him an illiterate after you can sponsor him in school. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Immee(f): 7:44pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
[color=#990000][/color] jakandeola: He's not my guy yet. We aren't dating yet. He's Yoruba though |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Immee(f): 7:44pm On Jan 07, 2017 |
[color=#990000][/color] jakandeola: He's not my guy . We aren't dating yet. He's Yoruba though |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by EzeIgboNwaChukwu(m): 8:46pm On Sep 21, 2017 |
Immee:send a pm to this mail profudeme@gmail.com lets talk. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Adaumunocha(f): 8:49pm On Sep 21, 2017 |
A lady I know in her late 30's came crying to her pastor for a husband even if a "security man", she'll marry. The pastor prayed for her and the next day a man drove into her compound asking for her hand in marriage, as in d guy knelt down begging. A brand new husband based in Switzerland. So don't lower your standard. U can't change a man o. |
| Re: Can He Marry Me? by Homeboiy: 9:25pm On Sep 21, 2017 |
NO BE Ur topic dey front page now see you
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